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And all you other mothers can't deny

Don't Bite My Butt & Other Dubiously Connected Topics

I keep getting the theme song from Jaws stuck in my head, usually right when Ezra starts rooting around and opens his mouth and oh my God, he's heading straight for the boob DAA NA DAA NA DAANADAANADAANA.

He's like a shark, these days. A toothless geriatric shark, intent on furiously gumming you to death, shaking his head back and forth and all around while he uses his shark flippers to grab flipperfuls of flesh to twist and dig into with his little shark fingernails because he's inordinately cranky and okay, it's not a perfect metaphor, but still. OW.

Noah's first tooth sprouted about two weeks after we gave up on nursing, so I have to admit that I am sore afraid here. (Chapped afraid! Raw afraid! Chafed afraid!) This is already HELLS ROUGH here, as the kid shrieks and squawks and chomps and protests and rejects every teething ring in the world because, apparently, they are not made of human flesh.

He already recognizes the bottle of Hyland's Teething Tablets and gets overly excited at the sight of it -- OH PRAISE JEBUS FOR WHITE POWDERED RELIEF -- and aaaaaaeeeeeeeiiiiii the drooling and the fussing and the gnawing on everything that he can possibly get into his mouth.

Goodness, but I forgot about this teething business. What else have I blocked out? Was there something that happens where the baby starts moving around the house? Like of his own accord? No. Surely I'm imagining that.



Noah: I scared.

Amy: You're not scared, you're stalling. Get back in bed.

Noah: Pongo bit the bad guys.

Amy: Yes, he did. Get back in bed.

Noah: Pongo bit the bad guys on the butt.

Amy: Mmm-hmm. Get back in bed.

Noah: Pongo! Don't you bite my butt!


Okay, FINE. You people. You are still talking about the cloth diapers. You have a LOT TO SAY about the cloth diapers. You are determined to turn this blog into the type of blog that the Amy of five years ago would never, ever read, what with the boobs and the co-sleeping and the slings and the cloth diapers and the other assorted tree-hugging hippie crap.

I'll be honest, my main reasons for cloth diapering had nothing to do with trees or patchouli or really, anything noble. They were:

1) Cost. I can't believe how many Mega Extra Jumbo packages of disposables we've already blown through, on top of the price of Pull-Ups. And now that I have a really solid grasp on the YEARS of diapering that stretch out before us (i.e. my mother-in-law's claims of potty-training her children by 12 months are a TAD DUBIOUS), I did the math, multiplying the number of diapers by months and years and then by my inability to ever use a coupon, and came to the scientific conclusion of HOLY SHIT RECEPTACLES BATMAN.

2) Boredom. Seriously, have you seen these things? With the pockets and fuzzy fleece and the colors and snaps and covers and accessories and solutions? Diapering SOLUTIONS, people. You know how I feel about SOLUTIONS.

Honestly, it was either switch to cloth diapers or rearrange the dining room furniture again.

Plus, there was this moment when I walked down the stairs and through the kitchen and all the way across the back yard to deposit a bag of diapers in our trash can when I realized that...huh. I think it's actually a shorter walk down to the washer and dryer, and there's really no reason why I can't do another small load of laundry each day. I mean, I do a LOT OF LAUNDRY.  I have TWO CHILDREN. I have a VERY SHEDDY CAT. And I SPILL THINGS ON MYSELF EVERY GODDAMN DAY OF MY LIFE. The whole "omfg extra laundry! anything but omfg extra laundry!" thing was not so very scary anymore.

(Babies = laundry. Fact!)

It also helped that Jason recently became utterly entranced with cloth wipes, or at least, the cloth wipes ACCESSORIES, i.e. the cloth wipe warmer. I made fun of him in the store, because dude. A wipe warmer? How precious are our children's asses, all of a sudden? But he had a point. Even though we have really only added one more butt to the household, we've been going through about 30 times more wipes for some reason. We're always running low and flushing the non-flushable kind and throwing out the flushable kind and Ceiba thinks old dried-out wipes from the trash can AREZ M1GHTY TASTEE YUM.

So we switched to cloth wipes, and while I was incredibly paranoid that we would Always Be Out Of Wipes Right When I Really Needed Them, I realized that indeed, spending a few minutes each day to mentally inventory the wipes and do laundry accordingly was not such a big deal at all.

Which led to a conversation a week or so later over some wine and a romantic dinner, when I leaned in close and slurrily said, "Dude, let's DO IT. Let's like, fucking CLOTH DIAPER and like, BE THOSE PEOPLE. Yeah. Man."

And. That's about that. I've ordered some bumGenius diapers on pretty much everybody's suggestion, which should round out our supply enough to use cloth exclusively (I do put Ez in a Pampers at night, just to use up what we've already bought). I bought some liners now that somebody finally explained them to me (liners, inserts, doublers, soakers -- it's like CLOTH DIAPER ESPERANTO). I checked out the Goodmama diapers a bunch of you mentioned and ran away screaming, because I need to be able to both diaper my children AND SEND THEM TO COLLEGE.  There's been a bit of a learning curve for re-figuring out how often Ezra needs changed and the jury is still out on whether they're an appropriate replacement for a Pull-Up.  Thus, cloth diapers are neither the greatest! thing! ever! nor are they the most inconvenient pain-in-the-ass-iest thing ever. I like 'em, gonna stick with 'em; I promise wholeheartedly not to talk about 'em constantly, because zzzzzzzz.

Mostly, they make a cute baby look even cuter, with a big padded Disney character butt that really brings out the thigh rolls.


Still not as cute as a completely naked baby butt. Which I cropped out, because you've gotta hold onto a few things for prom night, you know?



Ez look like you totally caught him playing in the diaper pail, and well, you know Mom it's like this...


Looking forward to more photos of Ez in his matching diaper/outfit ensembles.

And let us know if they do work as a pull-up substitute will ya. Cause we're not getting any closer to the whole "use the potty" thing around here.

I might look at cloth just to get thru potty training!

Backpacking Dad

My daughter thinks Tylenol is candy.

And that diaper cream is ice cream.

And that a plate of hamburger sliders with cellophane tipped toothpicks sticking out of them is "cake".


Oh my sweet jeebus, my dog got a hold of a disposable diaper. A *used* disposable diaper. With baby poop in it. And it was like he had found the most delicious treat ever. SO GROSS!


Lucas is constantly pulling out lines of dialogue from cartoons. Sometimes I'm not 100% sure if this is his strange imagination or something that really happened or dialogue!


So glad I'm not the only one saving the naked baby pics for Prom night.


We did cloth diapers, except for long trips and during-the-day-at-daycare. I wish we had gone with a cloth equivalent for potty training, especially since it now looks like we will be in pull-ups at night for a while yet. Had not planned on spending this much on nighttime diapers!

On the plus side, if I can ever have a second child, we will have the early years covered, diaper-wise, so it will be nice to see that savings.


P.S. And yes, yes, I would like to nom your baby's cheeks. Also, I love how everything Ez does is like a little preview of next month for me. Although I'm not looking forward to being chewed upon.


How many diapers did you buy initially and inserts? I am newly knocked up and considering cloth diapering and have no idea where to begin.

Is there a "cloth diaper for idiots" website?

Sprite's Keeper

And this blog is completely paperless, so you've got that going too. :-)


Angela - the problem with using the cloth for a bigger kid is that dude can PEE. I need to shove two inserts into the diaper (or one insert and one pre-fold burp rag thing) so it doesn't leak. But then the diaper is HUGE. Like, some of his pajamas don't fit over it huge.

I feel like he had a better track record for being dry in the morning with the Pull-Ups, but that might have been a coincidence because the wet cloth diapers actually seem to bother him a lot more than the wet Pull-Ups did. Which is a good thing.

Mostly, I'm sick of buying Pull-Ups for an otherwise fully trained kid. I KNOW YOUR BED IS WARM AND COZY. THAT'S NO EXCUSE FOR PEEING IN IT.

Oh, and Karen! Your dog story totally reminded me: TWICE a Pull-Up has stayed tangled up in Noah's PJ pants and gone through the wash. And holy lord, the dirtiest cloth diaper is NOTHING compared to that grossness.

Well, except maybe a dog trying to eat the dirtiest cloth diaper, which sadly I know will probably happen too. Ceiba's really nasty like that.


I talked my husband into buying that bed and dresser from IKEA when we moved into our first place. He generally hates IKEA and I was like "no! It's awesome! Don't worry, I'll build it!" Then, I built the dresser and it was great. Until we picked it up to move it into place and several mysterious pieces fell out. That SAME DRAWER would never close all the way.

Sorry. I had to share. I got nothing on cloth diapers.


dcfullest: Most of the cloth diaper sites have a FAQ section that's really helpful. They go over the different styles and kinds and materials and how many diapers you need for part-time or full-time use.

I bought 15 Fuzzi Bunz w/ inserts (and got one free), and I could either do one small load every day or wash pretty much all of them every other day. I just ordered 12 bumGenius -- more than enough for full-time use and time between laundry loads, I think, plus two a day for Noah. I use cheap Gerber prefolds (like, burp rag quality cloth diapers) as a second insert at night.


Um, I'm pretty Child Protective Services would not agree with my mother's & grandmother's solution to the teething chomping: a washcloth damp with whiskey. It apparently works like a charm. And I turned out alright. For the most part.

Maybe pour a wee dram for mummy too. Okay, maybe two wee drams.


Wow, Ezra looks SO MUCH LIKE YOU in this picture.

And you have me considering cloth diapers for my someday children once again.


Genuinely, I don't get the whole laundry thing -- why are folks doing so much laundry?? On average, I do 3-4 loads a week. On a "heavy" week, I might do 5-6. Also, I do laundry on Sunday and the idea of adding" ANOTHER day of laundry chills me to the bone. I hate the laundry the worst of all household chores. That alone keeps me from doing cloth.

Also, I don't understand the whole "disposables cost a lot" - we belong to Costco. Even at the height of diaperage with 2 kids under 2, I was only spending maybe, MAYBE $50 a month.


I love 101 Dalmatians! When I was about Noah's age, my big brother and I got a dalmatian stuffed animal toy each- I got Rolly and he got Patch or Spot or whatever he's called. I still have my Rolly now and I'm almost 21.

I noticed a few posts ago and keep forgetting to say that Ezra sort of looks like the boy from Love Actually and/or the Doctor Who episodes Human Nature/Family of Blood.


We bought these liners:
and I love them. But, I waited to use them until I kind of knew when Lorelei would be pooping (you know how they reach a certain point and they have this schedule when they poop? Oh, that's just me? Okay, well...Anyhow...I would only put one of those in about once or twice a day.

And, we loved the Fuzzi Bunz. Bum Genius was our next choice, but Fuzzi Bunz were my faves.

I only CDed Lorelei while she wore Mediums but then got all lazy when she outgrew them and pretty much stopped. With the new baby, I plan to cloth diaper as soon as there is no more cordage (I'm just not that brave) and have borrowed some smalls from a friend. I still have yet to try the cloth wipes b/c we just used the magnificent amt of gerber wash cloths we received that never actually made it to our baby registry first time around.

Don't worry about becoming too hippyish, just go buy some plastic real quick and it'll make you feel better :)


See? I told you not to look at those goodmama diapers. Now I just wish someone had told me that 9 months ago. ;)

Yay for you sticking with it! Your reasons are pretty much the same as mine.


I own a huge stack of Bumgenus 3.0 diapers but haven't got to use them yet. My baby is 11 weeks old but isn't big enough for the diapers. Just under 8 lbs still. When I was pregnant I bought them to avoid spending a bunch of money on disposables. Hopefully soon.
I'm glad to read that cloth is working well for you.
Oh and I love my cloth wipes, love the. But please tell me more of this warmer you speak of.


I love the idea of cloth diapering and the laundry aspect doesn't scare me, but dealing with poo in any other way than just folding up the diaper and throwing it away as quick as possible is what I'm having a hard time with.


I'm loving the fact that you're going the cloth diaper route--all the more reason to heart you even more. Fuzzi Bunz w/ microfiber inserts were a hit in our house, but byfar, gDiapers were the best of both worlds for us. You could go the disposable insert convenience OR cloth insert route. Even better, their disposable inserts are eco-friendly and actually biodegrade in our lifetime. How's THAT for some hippie crap!

p.s. Hyland's Teething Tablets=magic, sweet relief for both parties!


Seriously, there was that much discussion of your diapering habits/choices? I only wish I had know about these when I had babies because they are so adorable. But, I'm hoping my niece will buy some because, dude, the colorfully fuzzy butt is the cutest!!

Maybe you can start calling Ezra "Jawzra".


We called our son "The Shark" for the first 6 months of his life due to the lacerations he caused in The Twins. Once we were watching Planet Earth and at the exact moment the shark burst out of the water with the poor seal in its mouth, Keaton lunged at my boob and clamped down through my shirt. My husband and I just stared in horror/awe that the boy recognized his toothy brethren.
I was done breastfeeding my daughter before she got her chompers so I was terrified with my son. There were a few ouchy incidents but honestly his gums were made of pointy sharpness anyway, so I couldn't tell the difference. Good luck!
PS- My husband and I talked about CDing our son while I was pregnant but he was colicky for 12 straight months so we just didn't have the energy for any extra thinking/work. Your post and very scrumptious baby-diaper-butt pictures inspired us to give it a go. The Bumgenius are awesome!

Sarah @

I'm pretty sure it doesn't take diapers to make Ez look any cuter! =) But thank you for the 411 on the diaper front. I'm on my way to check out Goodmama diapers


Last place I ever thought Id be was on a farm, with goats, natural cleaning products and a "granola" lifestyle. I mean.... just the scent of patchouli would drive me up the wall. Not to mention screaming kids. Kids at all. I thoroughly hated other peoples kids. I definitely did not think I wanted kids. Let alone kids in CLOTH DIAPERS. Ha.

I had NO CLUE what brave new world I was getting into when I got knocked up!!!!!!!!!

mrs. q.

I'm still so bummed I never was a 'success' with cloth. I don't know how, but with every cloth diaper I had a FULL BLOWOUT, soaked bed, cranky baby and frustrated momma. I even had those beautiful FuzzyBunz ones that are all adjustable and wonderful and LEAKING. WTF? I don't know what I was doing wrong. But I ended up calculating the amount of laundry I was doing to clean up the leaking cloth diaper aftermath, and I threw in the towel. A pee-and-poo soaked one. My husband was never jazzed with the idea of cloth, so maybe he was bribing my little guy to squirt out the side.

The good news is that I heard cloth babies potty train MUCH faster because they develop the wet/dry sensation faster. My sister and I were both raised on cloth and my mother says we were both potty trained by a year and a half. DAMN.

Mallory SinClair

Yay! One more breastfeeding, cloth diapering, sling wearing, co-sleeping mama. BumGenius' ARE great. And the chomping thing? OMG that's the worst pain I've ever felt, with and without teeth. It does pass though....eventually.

Kate aka The Bossy Yankee

Do you blame Noah, I mean really I would not want Pongo to bite my butt!


OMG! $35 a diaper!


Are you using Baby Bits with your cloth wipes? They are AWESOME SAUCE.


We used cloth diapers, and our son was toilet trained pretty early; I suspect the fact that the cloth diapers made it so he could actually feel the wet after he had peed may have made a difference. For teething, we used clove oil: dilute a drop or two in a teaspoon of olive oil, and rub it on the gums with a q tip, or just a finger. Good luck!

Jen L.

I LOVE those teething tablets! Dean has figured them out and will now bring me the bottle!


Yes, cloth diapers are great, I use them too. Now...moving right along... I had my wisdom teeth out while my daughter was teething a while ago and in a fit of desperation I took some Hylands teething tablets and I can now say for sure that those things totally work. Way ta go you groovy hippy chick.


I SO love the cloth diapers, and was such a skeptic to begin with... Haven't tried cloth wipes, maybe I will, you are making me more brave. So. Also must give kudos to the bumGenius. I've been using them and regular old prefolds for over a year then had to switch back to disposables (b/c we're selling our house...YUCK). And HATE. The point of commenting was to say that those flushable liners are AWESOME for after the baby is eating all solids -- SO much easier than scraping or spraying!! Thought I'd give you a heads up, just because I almost quit before I found those -- couldn't handle the gross factor.


when I thought we were having one baby, I thought about cloth. When we found out it was twins, I gave up on that idea. Will need some sleep. More power to you. Those are some cute diapers. BTW I hear the Jaws theme whenever the babies start moving and my belly ripples.


So, I'm all about the cloth diapers (with twins and all), but that Goodmama website kind of makes me want to hurl.

"Treat yourself. Treat your baby! Be a good mama!"

Um. What if I'd rather be a crap mama who didn't pay $40 for a single diaper? Because that's, like, two dozen prefolds and an ice cream sandwich, and I like my ice cream sandwiches.


My Peeper is all about the grabbing of handsful of booby-flesh with her little claws these days, but she's a wee delicate flower, so I've been thinking of it as more kitten-like than sharkish, but she was doing some serious thrashing this evening, and I see what you mean!

I think the cloth diapers are great!
stick with the cloth diapers!!
They look so much cuter than disposable, and i am sure if you get tired of washing them constantly you can 'outsource'!

Kimberly C

My solution for teething? A piece of celery cold from the fridge. Of course, I didn't discover this until we were fighting molars, but maybe one of those mesh feeding things? Remember the celery for molars though, they can jam that piece of celery into the back where the big bad teeth are coming in so viciously and gnaw until their little hearts are content- bonus to celery for not breaking off, just kinda breaking down to a pulpy mass- wonderful. (freezing one corner of a washcloth worked kinda nicely in the earlier days, but I remember the kid wanting to gnaw the boobage. I wince for you, all the way in Alabama)


You crack me up. I have always viewed cloth diapers as something used only by those who churn their own butter and drive their buggies to church on Sundays. So it's refreshing to hear your take on them and to realize just how much money can be saved by using them. But laundry? I hate it even more than spending money, so I'm not sure I could ever be convinced...

Katie Kat

MUST SEE NAKED BABY BUTT!!!! Come on... you KNOW you want to... ALLLLLLL the kids are doing it.......

well read hostess

I saw an ad for organic, edible diapers. They come in a few flavors and are supposed to be quite nutritious, not to mention environmentally responsible.

Of course, the ad was on Saturday Night Live, featured Kristen Wiig and was alternately hilarious and nausea-inducing.

Crystal D

totally not on topic...
I got mad at my husband because he would not come watch TV with me 2 nights ago when you were on. He was all "Hey Crystal, you don't actually know her" and I was all "YES I do." And then told him all the things I know about you and he was still all "you don't knnnooooowwww her." Then I stuck my tongue out at him.


For teething, the best tip I ever got was to fold a baby washcloth in fourths, get it soaking wet, wring it out and freeze it. Then let the baby chomp on it just before nursing - it numbs his gums. I did this when I got bitten, and it helped a ton in preventing further bites.


I notice that Noah is now negotiating with fairly complex sentences. You can see the progression.

About the diapers - I always wondered why my mother was so wigged out when me and my Irish twin brother were little and she wasn't when my little brother was born when I was 6 ... probably because my after school job was doing diaper laundry.

I've heard that kids tend to potty train earlier with cloth because they get more incentive from a wet cloth diaper than from the eternally dry disposable ones.

As for potty training at 12 months - for boys? not bloody likely. Unless maybe you use Clorox bleach wipes .... on their butts.

Parsing Nonsense

Please forgive my ignorance, but does it gross you out to wash your own clothes in the same machine as the soiled diapers? My husband and I had a discussion about cloth diapers and I just wasn't sure I could bypass my gag reflex enough to give cloth diapers an honest go.


Check out for a distraction. Hers are the only ones I've found approved by the US CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission).

Once the teeth come in, it's not too bad. Mine never drew blood anyway.


You know Amalah, I wish you wouldn't write posts that are very interesting about things that I genuinely want to know about and then at the very end post a pic of your baby because the distraction kinda

OOOOO cutesy wootsy bubba nomnom nommuunnchie wunchiee coooooo numnumnumnum!!!

So er, yeah.


I have my very own pet shark too! She is only two months so I can't imagine it is because she is cutting teeth especially since her sister's didn't cut their first teeth until 9 months and 11 months. She just seems to enjoy the human flesh and the screams I make every time she chomps down. At least we know she has a sense of humor!

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