Six Months
Look Out! He's Got The Crazy Eyes!

So You've Gone & Left Your iPhone in a Bathroom Stall at Nationals Stadium

Some handy steps and pointers:


2) Call phone, repeatedly. Curse out the automatic voicemail messaging service lady.

3) Head to Guest Services and the Lost & Found. Blank when they ask you to describe the phone. "Uh. It's a phone? 'Bout this big? Grayish/blackish/silverish? Supercute photo of this here baby *gesture to baby asleep in your cleavage* as the wallpaper when you turn it on?"

    3a) Blank even blanker when they ask you for a phone number in case the phone does turn up. Run outside to find husband and ask what the hell his cell phone number is. Get impatient while husband blanks and pulls out his phone to search for his own damn number.

4) Hike back to bathroom to check for phone one last time, completely missing the childish look of wonder on your son's face during the post-game fireworks, for which you waited through extra innings of complete boredom for and are now the assholes who have babies and preschoolers out in the city at 11 pm at night and ARE ALSO PHONELESS, THIS IS ALL THE FIREWORKS' FAULT SOMEHOW.

5) Inventory the contents of your phone. Naked MySpacian Photos: Negative. Preshus Baby Photos: Check, Of Course, Naturally. Place Where Preshus Baby Photos Are Properly Backed Up: On the laptop with a busted hard drive, check. Tangram App High Scores: Shit, motherfucker.

6) Call phone service provider and disable the phone, lest bill get racked up sky-high by some jerk using it for naked MySpacian photos and hijacking your Twitter and Facebook (I'M IN UR SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORKS, SUPERPOKIN UR FOLLOWERS).

7) Get recognized by readers an unprecendented THREE TIMES in a single weekend, bitch and moan to two of them about iPhone, give third reader a look of soldiering on in the face of unspeakable tragedy like a brave little toaster, leaving her probably wondering what the hell is so awful about buying goddamn lettuce at the farmer's market.

8) Notice an unfamiliar number calling Jason's cell phone. Think about answering it for him. Decide not to, because ewwwww phones!

9) Log onto Facebook. Find message from a total stranger who found your phone and has been trying to reach you all weekend, a task made infinitely more difficult since you went and disabled all text/phone/internet capabilities and kept ignoring those "unknown caller" numbers, but they refused to give up and tracked you down and would like to make sure you get it back, especially since it's full of adorable baby pictures, OMG.

10) Give humanity a big slobbery kiss, because seriously. I REALLY LOVE THAT PHONE.



Hooray for humanity!


Whew! Glad you got it back. I am feeling vicarious illness over the loss.


This gives me hope for the nice people of the world :)


Hilarious! See - people can be really good. And all it takes is having adorable baby photos as motivation!

Note to self: take more adorable baby photos with phone as insurance for lost phone.

Sprite's Keeper

Thank goodness for the happy ending or I would be seriously doubting any updates on Twitter and Facebook.


I finally got an iPhone last week, and should I lose it my head might possibly melt.


Yay! What a nice "there are still good people in the world!" story! It never would have even occurred to me that someone might try to give it back. Amazing.

Morgan S.

Great. Now back up your iphone photos, STAT!

Plano Mom

That made me laugh so hard I snorted tea out of my nose. It sounded so much like something that would have happened to me.


Um, this brings back memories of when I lost my iPhone to the great St. Patricks Day Parade/ peePhone debacle of 2009. The 45 minutes without my phone paralyzed me with fear that I WAS MISSING OUT ON INFORMATION. I feel for you. Glad you got it back! Me? I went directly to the Apple Store and bought a new one like some people would go into a convenience store to buy a pack of gum.


So glad you got your phone back. I've lost my purse TWICE (within a period of two months, too) and both times I got it back. It's made me think that maybe humanity has a chance.

Sensibly Sassy

It is so nice to hear that people like that around. Glad you got your phone back!


I "lost" my phone at a wedding last summer. Looked all over the reception place for my phone and also to two bars that we went to. Made my husband cancel the service while we were at the reception.
Left the reception and found my phone under the car in the parking ramp. Oops!
I was freaking out about all of the cute baby pics on my phone all night!
Love you blog!!


Love your blog, not you blog :)


Alyssa - Seriously. The idea of the phone getting returned? Not even a remote possibility, in my mind.

Valerie - I was *THISCLOSE* to replacing it on Saturday, but didn't have time to deal with the lines at the store. Also, am broke from taxes. And the price of baseball tickets and hot dogs.

The funny thing is that I'm all kinds of attached to THAT particular phone, even though it's just 4GB non-3G model that's probably worth less than $50 these days. I still didn't want a new phone, I wanted MY phone. Woe!


YAY For Happy Endings!


This post gives me hope for the future. I mean, what are the odds that the person who found your phone would contact the lost and found AND hunt you down on Facebook? Instead of, I don't know, selling the phone on the iPhone black market?

Thanks for making me LOL for realz at "I'm in ur social networks superpokin' ur followers" :)


So glad you got it back.


I was the reader who stopped you at the farmers market, and I can assure that I thought no such thing! I was too busy being a geek and getting flustered by meeting you to think about much except "OMG I love her blog!"

But as a fellow sufferer of "meeting-public-personalities-I admire-makes-me-panic" syndrome, I know you understand. :-)

Alicia Millis

yay! glad you got it back in the end! haha so funny though


thought about you frequently this weekend. if you LOVED margo's comment as much as i did ( (OMG, still makes me laugh out loud), then you must, nay, YOU MUST, quickly get the FML2GO free app (or the FML free app, which currently crashes alot and the other one is the same content). it's like hours upon hours of comments seemingly written in that same tone as margo's comment...SO FUNNY! i was laughing so hard at some that i was snorting. if you don't like it, i will send you $5.00.

Feather Nester

Hooray for happy endings!


Absolutely awesome conclusion to an otherwise dreadful situation!

I set the startup on our phones to "If Found Please Call xxx-xxx-xxxx" so that shows up when you turn them on. Came in handy when the husband dropped his phone in a parking lot, and I got a call that it had been found before he even realized it was missing. ;)



Which is a story totally to keep in mind next time someone is a jerk in a grocery store or cuts one off while driving, no? People can be really awesome sometimes. Isn't that nice to know!


omg! that's pretty darn awesome! :) i would have cried!

aka Alice

There be good peeps in the world...

Glad it wasn't in the toilet this time :-))


My own tale of phone woe that I feel I can bond with you over. :)


And while you were busy losing your iphone I was busy throwing my ipod in the trash 5 minutes before it got emptied, which I remembered 6 hours after the fact!


I dont know what happened, but this weekend was the black hole for cell phones. I lost my phone on Saturday and had to wait until today to make calls trying to find it (no home phone, currently single). Come to find out my friend lost his @ the same time/place on saturday! Now you confess to loosing yours! I'm telling you, it's a universal conspiracy. At least you got yours back. I'm off to the sprint store this afternoon.


Three cheers for the kindness of strangers. There is hope for us yet.


Yay, humanity!
I left my iPod on a plane last year, full of preshus baby pictures and full episodes of teletubbies and thomas the train. Once I knew I wasn't getting it back, I daily wished that whoever found it felt tremendous guilt looking at those pictures.
Your luck has somewhat restored my faith in humanity returning valuable stolen belongings!


Er, valuable *lost* belongings.

Rick @ Tiny Prints

Kudos to the person for person for tracking you down! It happens occasionally.

I asked two obvious tourists in SF this weekend (heavy backpacks on/map open) if they needed help. Yup, headed the wrong way down the wrong street. Hotel was about a dozen blocks in the opposite direction. Felt bad for delivered the bad news but could have been worse since they thought they were on a different street altogether.

They didn't mind the walk so ended up having a nice walking tour on an epic day.


Wow. I'm guessing most lost phone stories don't end that way. Glad you caught a break!

Parsing Nonsense

Wow, I'm so glad your phone was returned! Sloppy kisses for humanity indeed!


Oh, man, I had an ugly half hour a couple weeks ago, where I thought that I left my iPhone in a busy courtroom here in downtown Chicago. I remembered having it out just before my case got called, as I was trying to look something up online...I remembered walking up to the bench with it in my hand, because I had the sense that, "oh, crap, shouldn't have phone out!" I remembered setting down everything I was carrying as I ran back to grab my planner out of my bag. And that, my dears, was the last I remembered seeing my iPhone.

Went to grab it out to listen to a book on my way home from work, and it wasn't in my bag where it's usually kept. Checked my pockets, but no. Bag again--nothing. Ran back up to my office and tore apart my desk...nada. Called it, left myself a frantic voicemail telling whoever that thieving bastard was who had my phone to call me at my home number. Finally resigned myself to going home and admitting to my husband that I'd lost the $200 phone I'd begged to buy. And then, as I was walking back out to the elevators, nearly in tears, I suddenly remembered stuffing it into the file folder I'd been holding when I realized that I had it with me at the bench. Went back, checked my shelves, and found it there all safe and snug. Phew. Since then, I've been paranoid about really losing it.


I thought this post title sounded familiar!

Sarah @

What a wonderful stranger! =)


Am happy that other people talk to you when they recognize you and that it's okay (right?)- have been thinking how weird it would be to see you and be like "OMG, look, cute boys in person!" and then have to explain that I'm not a super-stalker... Yes, I worry too much and frequent farmer's markets..

TG for phone recovery - I too am attached to my specific beat-up old phone and don't want a new, shiny, more advanced one...yet.


That was ridiculous. And wonderful.


Thanks for reminding me why I should stick with my ancient Razr that has no battery cover. Every now and then I decide I need one of those Blueberry/iPhone thingys. But then I remember that Me + Cubs games = damaged and lost technology.


Yay for people!!


So glad that someone is cool enough to get the phone back.
So wishing that all cell phones would vaporize. Now. All of them. Especially those owned by my husband and kids. And co-workers. Bah humbug. Love your best Luddite Lurker.


You have got to be my good luck charm. Just when I was about to head to the store to get a new phone, a guy called my mom and said he found my phone! I just went and got it back. People really are good!


That's some good karma!


I'm the reader who talked to you on the Metro after the Nats game -- so glad you found your phone! I felt so bad for talking to you in the midst of a crisis :)

die Frau

Just got a Blackberry and, because I'm me, I am WAITING to leave it somewhere and panic for three days, only to a) have husband find it in the bathroom, b) discover it wedged under the seat of my car/in the refrigerator, or c) have it lost forever, curse the gods, and go back to my old, reliable phone.

Glad the nice person found and returned it! Now pay it forward, as I know you will because you are a nice person.


Oh, yay! The phone was returned! I never saw the story ending that way, but was so happy when I read all the way to the end and it was HAPPY! Yay for humanity and people doing good. Sigh of relief for you and your phone to be reunited!


Yay, humanity!! My husband wrote a check to his sister for Girl Scout cookies, put the check in an envelope, stamped and addressed the envelope, then proceeded to put the envelope in his pocket on the subway and at a conference. Surprisingly, it was not in his pocket 7 HOURS LATER when he reached in to mail it. However, the envelope appeared in my SIL's mail a few days later. Someone actually found the envelope and put it in a mailbox, rather than letting it get picked up by the scary street-sweepers from Robots. Who knew nice people still existed!


Wow to #9! There ARE still decent people out there! I mean, come on, an iPhone???? You're gonna not only give it back, but jump through hoops to do so? Impressive! How awesome was said human in person? Was there a glow, an aura around them?

At least you didn't keep the phone in your pocket this time when you pulled down the pants...

Perhaps a tether for the phone?


wow! yay for nice and responsible people!!!


You are SO lucky...I left mine on a counter in the doctor's office last week (getting a mammogram, which is oh so fun anyway), realized what I had done five minutes later, went back to get it and it was gone. Never to be seen again. FROM A DOCTOR'S OFFICE!! FYI I've now learned that there are apps to help you find your phone should they be lost or stolen again. Too bad I didn't have those the first time.


I'm so glad to see evidence of such good people out there, and it totally makes me want to help other people more. I guarantee you if I find a lost phone, I'll do what it takes to get it to the owner, seeing how much panic it causes--baby photos or no!



can't believe you got it back. huzzah! people are inherently good : )

also --Hii!! I am one of the readers that met you this weekend. you and your family are just adorable. it was so lovely meeting you <3


That is so wonderful that you got it back! What a nice person!


Nothing to say really except I'm so very glad that you got your phone back and the "brave little toaster" comment? Totally genius and I worship at the feet of the great Amalah, she who reminds me of totally rad movies that I haven't seen since I was a wee girl. Good times, good times. (Though the vacuum cleaner? That accidentally sucks up it's own cord and starts FLIPPING THE FLIP OUT? Yeah. We had a vacuum similar to that. I was wary of it for *YEARS*. I'm now pretending that this movie, and the neurosis spawned from it, are responsible for the abject state of my carpet.)


You know to give that person a reward, right? Seriously.

Nancy R.

You are the BRAVEST little toaster I've ever met over the Internet.


Wow - amazing that you got your phone back! Yeah for humanity for continuing to try and track you down...

I also wanted to comment on the super-organized little cubes/bags of homemade baby food! The organizer in me liked that! I'm thinking of trying to have a baby soon and doing that with food seems like a great idea.


I left my phone on a flight to the bahamas last year - good luck getting that back, right?
The person who found it called my parents from the phone, got my mailing address, and it was waiting for me when I got home.
However... not having the phone on the flight back spawned a whole new disaster....
When I landed in Charlotte, I used a pay phone (SERIOUSLY, when was the last time you used a pay phone?!)to call and say I landed and was off to get bags and car for the drive back to Charleston...
I had crossed over that invisible can't-go-back security line for about a milisecond when I realized I'd left my wallet on top of the payphone. So there I was in Charlotte airport - no phone, no money to get my car, a soontobe victim of identity theft, no drivers license, soontobe evicted b/c I had my rent money in cash in the stupid wallet too, Nooothing. Not even a quarter to use another pay phone. The mean security man wouldn't let me go back... sooo I promptly burst into tears.
Thankfully the lady who does the inital "get your boarding card and ID out" came over, explained that all I needed to do was take by boarding card and passprot to the ticket counter, get a gate pass, and I could go back through security - yes I had to take my shoes off, take out my laptop, the whole deal. I have never run so fast in my whole life as I did down that concourse....
SOMEHOW, it was still there. I gave the nice lady $50 and huge hug, and the mean man a very nasty glare.


I was at the same game and did not stay through the extra inning to watch the fireworks, so I commend you on that. Because if I had lost my phone, I would have been the hysterical girl at Lost & Found unable to do much more than cry.

Also, I am upset that they did not bring the funnel cake stand back this year. But I kept that to my self instead of crying to customer service.


I am terrified to get an iPhone even though I covet them like... things that you really really covet... I have only had a child for 6 weeks, worn my sunglasses 3 times, annnd...wait for it... I lost them. durrrr. I am not quite ready for preshus preshus iPhone.

jen from boston

Had similar incident on they way to Red Sox game and had left it in the cab. Some guy found it, who was also on way to the game, found the name "Pookiebear" in the contacts (um, my husband) as that stood out and met me at the bar he was already planning on going to. That kind of luck gobsmacked me. Was able to buy the guy a beer and give a million thank yous.

Also, don't you mean "Natinals"?? heh.


Too. Dang. Funny.


HILARIOUS, as always. Love that you linked this to your '07 post.

And the part of your last post about Ezra's smile? Be still my heart, that's adorable!

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