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Forward Motion

On the Road

I told Noah about the bus. A silly conversation to have with a kid who doesn't have the slightest grasp on the concept of time, but I told him anyway. "Next year, you'll ride the bus to school, and it will come right to our house!" I told him. He immediately ran to the window to wait.

"Where the school bus, Mommy?" he asked, over and over.



Ever since I attempted to explain why a featurette about Cruella De Vil from our 101 Dalmations DVD was not the actual movie, Noah thinks her name is actually "Bonus Material."


When I ask him to go get something from another room, he walks to the door, spins around and points his finger out to me. "I'll be right back!" he assures me. He talks another step and spins around again, just in case I didn't believe him. "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!"


A baby was crying at Target. "Oh no, Baby Ezra's crying," Noah said. Before I could tell him that it was a different baby, he saw that Ezra was just fine. "It's okay, Mommy, it's not OUR Baby Ezra," he informed me.


IMG_2265 We had an interview yesterday for a Sensory Integration/Occupational Therapy summer camp. It was. Another thing. Just like all the other things from the past few months. Or years. I forget now. The receptionist was pretty impressed with my binder. Noah played and laughed and attempted to play with another awkward little boy, though it soon disintegrated into his typical blend of dinosaur roars and frustrated, panicked grasping for the right words and finally tears when the other little boy ran away because he was afraid of dinosaur roars.

The therapists looked over his IEP goals and boggled over the idea that someone thought he was ready for pre-writing skills because look at him! Look how he moves! His body in space! His proprioceptive system! His syntax and misuse of pronouns! That poor child has no sense of who and where he is in the world! He needs full-body OT before bilateral integration and at that point the conversation veered distinctly out of the realm of Stuff I Have Googled. I told them he did pretty well with our shoe box obstacle course at home and asked if they had any morning programs in the fall. They did! Here's a brochure.

"PER WEEK?" I squawked. "That's the price PER WEEK?"

They mentioned the possibility of our insurance paying for part of it.

"Uh-huh. Sure," I said glumly.

"I know," one of them sighed, making a face.

Noah didn't want to ever leave. He threw himself into the ball pit and attempted to hold onto the balls like you'd grip carpet. The camp director coaxed him out and back to the waiting room and told me that Noah got the gold star for the least dramatic exit meltdown of the day. "He's FANTASTIC," she laughed. "What an adorable little guy."

They had one spot left in the camp. They also accepted MasterCard, so we took it.


On the way home, I absent-mindedly pointed to a fire engine on the side of the road. Its lights were flashing and a cop was pulling up and...oh crap, there was an ambulance and more firefighters and I'd just directed my three-year-old's attention to a major car accident. The car was facing us, easily visible, smashed to all hell. EMTs were attending to a shaken-looking young woman on the ground. Fuck, I thought.

From the backseat, Noah cheerfully labeled everything he saw. "Look at that FIRE ENGINE! And another fire engine! And a police car and an ambulance! Look, I see them!"

I tensed up, waiting for the rest of the scene to register, when Noah suddenly turned his head and spotted something on the other side of the highway. He shrieked.


And it was.




Money well spent -- especially because the director recognized how awesome Noah is ...


The pictures of Noah are so adorable. I love hearing about him and seeing the really cute pics to go with them. You're a lucky Mommy and he's a lucky little boy. :)


You'll all get through it. And it's worth the money for your sweet little man. He sounds smart beyond his years, he just needs the words to express his wisdom.


He is a wonder. A beautiful, delightful, special, adorable, funny, unbelievably cute little wonder.

Remember that when he is thirteen, is all I am sayin.


Car wrecks are icky. Noah gets a lot of credit from me for seeing the positive in them. Fire trucks are pretty cool :)


I just love your little Boy Wonder.


Noah kills me with his adorable-ness. KILLS ME.


The camp director was right. He is an adorable little boy.


Wow. What a beautiful entry. Thank you for sharing these little glimpses into your life. And, yes, Noah IS fantastic!


Noah is really cute! I hope the camp is wonderful. My son who is five told me this morning that his bones are tired of being this little. I don't have a blog so I grabbed the video camera and made him repeat it.


Noah is really cute! I hope the camp is wonderful. My son who is five told me this morning that his bones are tired of being this little. I don't have a blog so I grabbed the video camera and made him repeat it.


Sometimes I scare people away with my dinosaur roars too. :_(


that's why god made credit cards.

Sprite's Keeper

Luckily, the reality of accidents aren't important to little kids, the cool flashing lights are.
Congrats on that spot, especially if he likes it there!


I always believe that the money for the things my child needs will come to me. Sure, we have debt but somehow the things that are needed get paid for.
No, there will be no family vacation to Disney World...but my kid is getting whats needed.


The camp director's got it right and I hope he loves camp.

He's so preshus. I just love your little guy.


And Camp Director gets a gold star, too.


That smile just melts me. Seriosuly, I'm smooshed all over my keyboard. I can't even type since I have no bones left in my body from the smooshing.

Good luck with the summer camp, and the school bus!


Amalah, I should just expect you're going to make me cry on a weekly basis. hope the camp is a success. (and the school bus!)


What a sweet little boy you have.


So cute! My almost 3 y/o has no concept of time, and I always forget that and preview some super exciting event in the future and then have to spend days/weeks. months (depending how stupid I was) telling him not yet/leave me alone/ stop asking or we can't go! Currently, I am answering questions about the movie Up and fireworks on the 4th of July.

die Frau

Oh, that face! Oh, those little, forgettable, special moments that you'll be so glad you've written down later!

You'll figure out the cash situation, just as all the other posters have pointed out. Meantime, Noah's getting what he needs, including tons of love from all of you.


i love the way you write about noah. can't wait for the summer camp stories.


Cute vignettes about your special boy.

Just wanted to say, I ran into a friend this weekend who I hadn't seen in ages. She told us about the IEP that her 4yo was recently put in. Thanks to the info you've shared with us all I felt better equipt to respond and ask her questions about her/their situation with sensitivity.


I want to know more about this shoebox obstacle course!


Thank you for sharing all of this "stuff" on your blog.

When I was going through all of the same "stuff", I felt so alone. None of my friends had kids with this "stuff". I would have loved to not feel like the only mom in the world who was dealing with my son's issues.

Keep it up- you have no idea how many moms you are helping out!

Sarah @

What a wonderful boy =) I'm sure the camp will be money well spent. It sounds like he's going to love it.


Make sure you let Noah know that only HE is special enough to ride The School Bus - Mom, Dad and Ezra don't get to ride it. And he gets to take a backpack with him! With a water bottle and a comfort item, who or which needs to live in the backpack at school! YAY!
And double YAY for summer camp. The SI/OT therapies really helped our son click with more language. We still do summer camps as they help him retain what he's learned over the past school year.
Be proud of yourself for that new, thicker skin you've developed. While one never gets 'meh' about living in the Special World, one does get pretty matter of fact about it.

Parsing Nonsense

What a delightful little boy, it's so lovely that you share these little scenes with us. This sounds very promising, just make sure you open your credit card bills with a glass of wine at the ready.


So he has issues. We all have issues. What a neat little guy!


I kid you not, I started BAWLING when I read this. He sounds just like my Chipmunk.

Two days ago at the park, a kid came up to me and asked me to make my son go away because he was annoying. He was dinosaur rawring at her and trying to mimic her.

My heart breaks.

Springsteen fan

Amy, you're doing great. Your posts always walk the line between cracking me up, breaking my heart and making me say, "Me, too!" I heart your blog. Just keep swimming, as Dory says. It's going to get better, it will.


He is soooo cute!

"I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!!!!!!" indeed!!


I think you're a hero! That is all.


why was this shoebox obstacle course not blogged? where is the photographic evidence!! AMy you are slipping!!
Just kidding he is such an awesome little dude!!

Amanda B

Camp is going to be awesome - you have people in your corner - who already recognize what a cool kiddo you have. I cried too, must be something in the air.


I don't know why, but that post made me tear up a bit. Possibly it was because of that spectacular picture of Noah at the end. And of just how sweet of a kid he seems to be. Or just how I can tell you love him more than life and just want him to be happy and to know he is loved. You sound like you are right on track. Good job Amy.

Amy Evangeline

I <3 that camp director! I am so glad that this place sounds like just the breath of fresh air that you all need right now!


I always start reading your posts with a smile which turns into laughter and inevitably - the school bus - crying like a baby at my desk.
We have such precious little angels and I hope your guy suddenly outgrows his sensory issues just like my ds did a month ago. I hope, like me, when someone asks what you did you wonder if it was the OT, the diet, the love or just nothing at all?!? Know in your mind and heart that this camp is GOING TO ROCK! He's going to have so much fun, because OT is fun and jumping, swinging and climbing is super fun! No matter what we've done, I always looked at OT as the one thing that can't screw him up!
AND, go and steal their ideas and hold your own camp in the mornings at your own house/yard. Tunnels and scooters, exercise balls, and even ball pits are all available online and are a heck of a lot cheaper! Maybe you can even just cut back on the amount he goes if you do some at home. Great post.

Wacky Mommy

What a cool kid. We love fire engines at our house, too. Unless they're, you know. Coming *to* our house. The camp sounds good.


Cool. I would have whipped out the charge card too. I'm sure Noah will have a blast. He's a really cool kid!


What a poignant and beautifully written entry. Thank you!


Different day, different challenge. It does not get easier, but you do get a better ability to understand the system and its intricacies as you go on. Good luck. Noah has a great advocate!


My GOD but you're talented. :)


What an awesome camp. How cool will it be for Noah to be surrounded by people who understand his challenges and know what to expect from him and how best to help him? Nothing feels as good as being around people who 'get' you, right? I think that alone will be worth the price of admission. Best of luck to your little guy.


I just love all the adorable things he says! Too precious!


Every time I read your site, I end up crying. I'm just so happy that your sweetie is doing so well and will continue to do well. Good job mommy!


We're getting my son tested for sensory processing disorder in July (it's a long wait for an appointment). I want to thank you for all you've written here about your journey with Noah: having read about all you've been through, it doesn't seem as mystifying or strange, and makes it all seem so much more manageable. (Not that I'm not choked up as I write this.) Anyway -- thank you. Just, thank you.


You really are doing a fantastic job of describing the experience - the frustration, the hurt, and the glimpses of hope - in a way few others could do.



That summer camp sounds worth it's weight in gold.

I'm sorry, Amy. It sucks. The whole situation can be so hard.


The bus to your door rocks. It makes my son's year at school special, seriously. He LOVES riding the bus.

Sorry to bother you here but what happened to the alphamom site? It hasn't been working from your links...


You have an amazing, brilliant little man.

But then, you already knew that, didn't you?

It sounds like this place is a great one for him~again, I am so inspired by your continued drive to find what's right for *Noah.*


Thanks for sharing all of that... you made me laugh on a day when I've been reflecting on the behaviors of my own three year old.
Noah is going to LOVE that camp. Good choice to be made, momma.


Totally fantastic. I wish a school bus could make me smile like that. Good move to take the camp spot. Financial stability is highly overrated. I've heard.


THat's awesome that they had a spot was meant for him! (and your MC) He's going to thrive and this place sounds wonderful since they seem to recognize Noah and his beauty!


The sensory/OT place sounds a bit like the private clinic we took our son when we lived in Canada. We used a chunk of savings intended to buy our next house, but it was worth it. After a very short time, he had a development spurt in language; the physical work was helping connect more neurons, making it easier for him to find words. I hope Noah has a great time and never even realizes that he's working!


Gotta love mastercard! Seriously that is what credit cards are meant for.

Alicia D

What a trip this kid is! :)


I love that he's waiting for the bus already. And that he totally missed the yuck factor of the accident. We were detoured on our way to the zoo last month and while sitting in the back up from it my boys noticed "hey look all the police cars". As I"m looking over with them I notice "hey there's a body on the ground that no one is attending to" and promptly said "hey look over here at the deer". No deer but it got there attention else where before I had to answer any questions.

The camp sounds great. I hope he loves it, for him and for Mommy and Daddy.


Reading this put a big smile on my face because the Camp Director SAW NOAH, you know? Saw the adorable boy who is trying SO HARD.

Kaitlyn's favorite new phrase is "Let me", as in, "no, you can't have another popsicle" to which she screeches "LETTTT MEEEEE". But she also has to pack a purse full of My Little Ponies before we go anywhere, which is pretty cute.

Those pictures-swoon. Noah does know that Kaitlyn is available, right?


Oh honey *hugs* Good for you and Noah! You just have to take it in stride. Ya'll are going to be just fine.

Plano Mom

Hang in there. He's an awesome boy. The rest of the world just has to catch up with his way of looking at it.


That second photo is just so gorgeous... and one of those pics you are going to look back on years from now, when your little boy is a big brawny beefy almost-man, and remember when he was a gorgeous little bare-bottomed boy, nose pressed to the window, watching the world go by.
Precious. Love. :-)


I just adore that smart little boy of yours. He marches to the beat of his own drum. Here's hoping camp will be WONDERFUL for him, for he is full of wonder!


De lurking to say thanks for sharing your story! I actually drive the short bus and pre schoolers are my favorite. I love watching them progress through the year. Its amazing how just a few hours a day with the right teachers can help these little guys along. Its been great reading your story from a parents perspective. As a driver we don't get to see what happens behind the scenes. Makes me appreciate the opportunity to be part of their education so much more!


Your Noah is delightful. And I wanted to mention I have cerebral palsy and still ride that same bus to school and it is FINE. If a little noisy. And my full-monty preschool was fantastic.


I really don't know how you do it Amy. You make me want to cheer and make my heart break just a little in the same post. Noah has the most engaging smile.


I just reread your night of the meatloaf post from last year,
as I am reliving it today.
Thank you for your honesty-
though I don't expect flowers
or icecream anytime soon.


My GOD he's adorable! The camp sounds perfect for him!


You make me want to be a better mom. Noah is a lucky little guy.


The summer camp sounds awesome! I think that Noah will love it!

What a beautiful entry about an amazing little boy! You made me tear-up. :)


Oh Amy. I know. This shit is hard.

And damn, my kids are BEGGING me to ride the bus next year...I'm thinking the answer might be NO now. LOL.


The photo of Noah by the window with his little feet tucked underneath him just killed me. I don't know what it was - just the innocence of him. What a sweetheart.

Katie Kat

B does that too - the thing where, when she walks out of the room, she points to us and says "I'll be right back." But usually she adds something like "Don't talk until I get back" or, if she's leaving the dinner table, "And Mommy? While I'm gone, don't eat anything and be sure the dogs stay out of the kitchen." :)

They're just so darn hilarious sometimes, and so ADULT!


I LOVE that. MasterCard saves the day again. I wish we had camp like that for my little girl...but we settle for OT 1x a week.


You are a gifted writer.


The school bus! Yay for Noah! I sometimes find myself tensing up, convinced that I've just scarred my kids for life with some offhand comment or painful life reality I've pointed out, when they remind me that they're amazingly resilient and can find the best (or the least bad) in almost everything. My favorite was when my 5-year-old, who had been (not entirely accurately) complaining of being bullied in school, was actually choked by another child in a fight over a crayon. Molehills he happily made into mountains; but when he was actually attacked, he didn't even remember it. It was over and he moved on. I wish I were that good at finding the school buses in life!

Her Bad Mother

Ah. Ah.

My heart, OOF.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings

This was such a sweet post and yet sad at the same time. But it sounds like you are on the right track with everything. I hope it continues to work out. As for the accident, I'm pretty sure I would have done the same thing and then realized what I did, a little too late.

Jill Smyth

I think Noah is going to look something like my husband when he grows up.

You know what I mean? Don't you ever see kids that look just like kids you knew when you were a shrimp? I always think I know what they'll look like when they're older.

Based on this foolproof logic:
Grown-up Noah = smart, handsome, funny, sweet, and best of all - a good and willing cuddler.

He's going to make someone a very lucky someone. Adorable.

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