I hit a terrible wall this past week. A metaphorical brick wall of...of MORE metaphors, like paralysis and drowning and suck and ass. SOLID BRICK ASS. Yeah, that pretty much sums everything up perfectly.

I missed a deadline, due to a simple flipping around of dates in my head. And missing this deadline sent me hurtling down the road (OF ASS) into the wall (OF ASS), because I got flustered and frustrated with myself.

I beat myself up over my inability to stay organized and on top of things, and yet instead of... I don't know, sitting the fuck down and getting shit done...I floundered instead. I didn't know where to start. I couldn't prioritize. Everything became a jumble OH RIGHT SHIT FUCK THAT and a scramble to keep on top of the NEW deadlines that were coming in, while everyday I continued to pile up more things that were officially Past Due Goddamn It. Then we all got sick, which helped a TON, and I went into full-on passive aggressive "I can't heeeear you" ignore mode to pretty much everything.

And again, let me remind you, that all I needed to do was 1) Sit the fuck down, and 2) Get shit done. Instead, I often chose 3) Staring at the wall for awhile, alternately chewing on the inside of my mouth and mentally composing blog entries that I would never get around to typing, because how can I blog when I have this and this and this to do, oh my God, I have so much to do.

Hey! I know! Let's stare at the wall some more. Shut up, it's totally helping.

In the end, I needed to do what I've ALWAYS needed to do when I get myself into a state like that. I needed to sit down and write out a to-do list. Holy SHIT, Dorothy, how ever did you come up with an original idea like that? I KNOW. It's so dumb and obvious, but that's all it took. That's all it ever takes, whenever I get myself into a State Like That. Write it out, break it down, get started and cross crap off. 

And oh, ho HO, would you like to hear about the irony? The delicious, mouthwatering irony? The deadline I missed was part of the Parent Toolbox at Slideshare, where oh, HO HO HO, the entire point of the project is to swap tips and MS Office templates that we use to make our lives easier and stay organized and hoooo hooooo hooooooooo ho. 

So. It is with great, timely pleasure that I present: A PAINFULLY OVER-DETAILED TO-DO LIST FOR UNDERACHIEVERS WHO REQUIRE A CONSTANT SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT.

Use it because it WORKS, people. I am living proof. 

(And thank you to Asha and the folks at Slideshare for not firing my pathetic ass.)

(And for you guys, for putting up with a terribly half-assed posting schedule here.)

(Here are some pictures of a baby eating a comically large apple. Are we good now? Good. Onward!)