I Can't Believe I Didn't Think of This Before

Off To a Good Start, Part Two: In Which We Replace "Good" With "OMG"

So. Okay.* The Other Story.

*Does anyone remember LonelyGirl15? The really early videos when she was just cute and vlogging and only vaguely ominously in danger, before things went kind of off the rails and involved too many shaky-running-scenes through parking garages? She always started those videos by saying "So. Okay." or some variant and anyway I seem to have caught a touch of that this week. I don't know why either.

First, some background. If you were reading this summer, you may remember a post about a mother I met at Noah's summer camp. Our encounter started with some banter about slings and second babies (she was pregnant) and then we immediately moved on to the business of Crap Ass Preschools and their treatment of even the mildest of special needs. She was feisty and clever and I liked her immediately, but then everything took a turn for the HOLY SHITBALLS AWKWARD when I mentioned our old preschool by name. It turned out to be the very school she was planning to send her son this fall, having been fed the same goddamn lines about their "experience" with sensory and attention issues. It understandably rattled her, and I assured her we'd talk more about it later. 

And then the next day she completely, almost willfully ignored me. And the day after that. No eye contact. I would smile and wave and...nothing. So I spent a good amount of the summer fuming and Twittering about it. WHAT THE HELL, SENSITIVE PREGNANT LADY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY SUCK. YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL THAT YOU KNOW. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BE WANTING MY FRIENDSHIP. AND YES. I AM CAPS LOCK IN REAL LIFE.

Flashforward** to last Thursday: Noah's first day at The Preschool.

**Dude. Was there not a TREMENDOUS drop in quality from the pilot to the second episode? If you were one of the many people who missed the first episode and then watched last week's because I got all breathy and caps-locky on you about OMGWATCHFLASHFORWARD, I apologize. I was possibly mislead. Charlie From Lost is still supposedly going to show up? So? Eh?

The arrival and drop-off routine at The Preschool involves kids and parents all sitting in a designated area off of the lobby until the teachers and aides arrive to escort every one down to the classroom at once, thus minimizing the distraction of students who attend The Elementary School. While I knew we were joining an established class, I didn't realize just HOW established. It's a mixed-age class, going all the way up to six years old. Noah is the youngest by a good six months. Most of the kids and families have known each other for at least a year -- two years in a couple cases. So. Hi, I'm the New Girl. I overheard birthday party discussions and playdate plans and everybody knew everybody and Noah was...really not happy with the waiting room arrangement, since he knew he was at The Camp but we didn't wait in this room at The Camp and why won't I let him go to The Camp gaaaaaaahhhhhhmeltdown. I was caught a little off-guard by how stressful I found it all to be.

And then two little boys became entranced with Ezra and proceeded to take turns kissing him on the mouth. I mentally made up my mind right then and there about the H1N1 vaccine and tried to politely suggest that hey, LET'S NOT DO THAT...and that's when I saw Her.

The Mom From Summer Camp. I was torn between reverting to my WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM LADY stance and immense gratitude that hey, at least it's someone I know and someone Noah knows and I directed Noah's attention to hey look it's Johnny!*

*His name is not Johnny.

Another mother said something like, "Oh, you guys know each other?"

And just as I nodded, the Mom From Summer Camp looked me in the eye and said no.


Y'all, my jaw dropped a good foot and a half and I was overcome with a desire to DIE or MELT TO THE FLOOR or hurl myself at a nearby potted plant, Jon-Gosselin-Girlfriend style.

Exhibit Yes, Like This

I think I managed to say something about oh, actually, YES, the boys were at summer camp together. I could tell she was genuinely struggling to place me, but Noah's name finally rang a bell and THANK GOD, the teacher showed up right then to save me from all this "conversing with other grownups" bullshit.

Back in the car, I kind of laughed about it. Here I'd been so worried that by unwittingly bashing the preschool I'd made some kind of crazy faux pas, thus forever earning her scorn and ire and it turned out that the conversation had BARELY registered on her radar, or at least the person she had the conversation with. Who the fuck do I think I am, honestly?  

And either way, fresh start! Moving on! Let's make some mom friends! You can do this!

When I arrived to pick Noah up a few hours later, she pulled into the parking lot at the same time. I suddenly wondered if she'd had her baby -- she was still wearing the same long baggy clothing but certainly didn't look pregnant, though she didn't have a baby with her now.

We started walking together.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Did we really meet each other this summer?"

"Yessssss," I said, smiling as hard as I possibly could, resisting the urge to reveal the fact that I remembered every word of our singular conversation like it was yesterday. So there.

"Wow, I was really in such a fog. Drop off, pick up. You know."

"Mm-hmmmmmmm," And then I couldn't help myself. I asked about whether her son attended a preschool in the morning. NO REASON. JUST CURIOUS.

And then what followed suddenly got...confusing. Yes, her son does go somewhere in the morning, but certainly not our old school, and then there were other details that just didn't jibe with our old preschool even being a possibility for him.

And I suddenly had a flash of clarity. I could suddenly see the face of the mom I had the preschool conversation with.

And it wasn't her. It wasn't HER.

All summer. ALL SUMMER YOU GUYS. I have been obsessing over the WRONG WOMAN. I have gone out of my way to engage the wrong woman in eye contact, smiling, finally giving up and flat-out glaring, because WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM WITH ME?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe something do with all the bug-eyed crazy faces I made at someone whom I never actually said a single word too? Someone who actually seems very shy and soft-spoken and OH YEAH, completely not even a little bit pregnant?

At this point I am wondering whether I had some kind of Fourth-of-July fireworks-induced stroke, because I cannot even BEGIN to understand how I ever got them mixed up. They both had...brown hair? Kind of...tall? I THINK the first woman, the Real One, either stopped sending her son to the camp or someone else took over drop-off and pick-up duties because now I don't remember seeing her again after the first day, and thus I inexplicably pinned all my hopes and dreams of Mom Friendship on the next tallish brunette in a flowy top that I laid my eyes on. 

Basically: Amy, this is why you can't have nice things. Or friends. Or permission to leave the house unsupervised.

/dying of shame, paranoia, & plans to delete this post before an updated class list is distributed with last names and I achieve the Social Pariah status that I so clearly and justly deserve



holy damn, there are no other comments here yet.
Can I just say I loved LonelyGirl15... for like a week. and then I lost interest in watching videos on my computer because my eyes started to bug out of my head. Yep.

and wouldn't that have been awful if it WAS the woman and she was a straight up fucking lying weirdo?


I just love you so much! LOL You crack me up.

I don't know, I think one of the very best qualities in a friend is someone who can be honest about their mistakes and laugh about them. And heck, if they can do all that in a public forum, like a blog, then all the better.


I know you're embarrassed, but HOLY CRAP, that is HILARIOUS! (I think I'm laughing because this is exactly something I would do).

Also, loving the picture of HG in a plant in a corner.


OMG. That is horrifying, but it makes for a great blog post.

I was ready to kick her ass when she said she didn't know you...and then, PLOT TWIST! she really didn't know you. Good stuff.


welcome to my world, where u swear u know someone, but alas you do not.......mine is a result of a time period i lovingly call "the blurry years"...yours??


Amy, now that you have a new mom friend ... just leave the other woman behind. She left you; you've moved on. There is life after Campmom divorce.


oh I am so relieved to hear I am not the only one who thinks about (obsesses like a crazy woman) conversations gone wrong from months (years) past. Still trying to figure which dumb comment alienated my bro in law, though my hubs insists he is just generally an ass. Happy for you to have closure. Would totally be your tallish brunette friend.

anne nahm

I lol-o-v-e- you right now. So. Funny.

Just Shireen

resisting the urge to reveal the fact that I remembered every word of our singular conversation like it was yesterday. So there.

I so would not have been able to resist that urge. I would have recounted the entire conversation verbatim and scared the every living crap out of that poor woman. Had she been the right woman. And had I been you.

Also, I don't follow the whole Gosslin saga (it makes me stabby) so I have no idea what that picture is about (besides hilariousness) but mayhaps she was imitating Kiefer Sutherland's infamous Christmas tree tackle?


I was all prepared to say "Dude, she hasn't forgotten you, she is giving you the cold shoulder," and then I got to the end. So, NotThatMom's kid and ThatMom's kid both have the same name? Spooky.

Also, I'm sharing the disappointment in FlashForward but I'm sticking with it. Maybe it's just a slow start.

Also also, WTF is that picture?

C @ Kid Things

Oh man, that's embarrassing. Ha! And this? Is why I don't even try.


That is totally horrifying. Don't ever tell her of your mistake!


I mean this in the nicest, sweetest way possible: You are such a goober.

Now go on with your goober self and make some mom friends!


You know why we are friends?

I would absolutely, totally, do that.


I would so do this too. Truly.


Well, she's the one who mentioned the fog around her. How could you ever be expected to see clearly through the fog?...

Cheryl S.

I'm sorry, but this is hysterical to me because it is SO something I would do.

Anyway, I want to know how Noah is doing with going to BOTH preschools?!?


Ah, your humanity reassures us all. As if we haven't done things like that. Pfft.

I hope she does become your BFF and you're telling this crazy story about how you kind of met years from now! I got one of my best friends off a bulletin board!

Megan Heyer

I am new to your blog, but I am obsessed already and have already dubbed you my Hero. Don't let it go to your head just yet.

I found this post today particularly awesome because I am currently going through your archives in order to get caught up, and just yesterday I was reading the one about your encounter with that woman over the summer so it was fresh in my mind! Your blog just might get me in trouble at work because I sit in a very high-profile area of the office and I am frequently frowned at for laughing OUT LOUD at your posts. Hey, it's a risk I'm willing to take. :)


Man, I was right there with you, about to be all "boo-yah!" when she had the moment of realization... But this ending? I so did not see it coming! :)


I am just so happy that another person exists w/ this type of crap happening to her. I was afraid I was alone. :) How did he like school?


You are awesome! Thank you for this...I needed something like this to read today! I LURVE YOU! :)


This VERY MORNING I actually made myself blush, really and truly blushing, while feeding my baby, alone in my livingroom in the dark, by recalling a terribly awkward conversation I had with someone ten years ago this month.

Why does this happen? Why do little things matter so much that we can spend all summer (or the rest of our lives, apparently) freaking out about them?


Every other week or so, I read a post of yours and think, "Are you me?" It's really kind of creepy.


Oh God, thank you so much for that laugh--I totally needed a distraction from my chemistry test in . . . two hours. Now I'm off to actually study but THANK YOU. I needed that. ;)


The Jon Gosselin Girlfriend exhibit is the funniest thing I have EVER seen.

Unless I could have seen your face when you realized that you were talking to the wrong woman. That would have been way funnier.






Oh, Dude. That totally sounds like something I would do.


I had to delurk... I had to. This post made me "OMG, I'm at the office in a cube and doing to silent laughter so hard that my poor post second baby bladder made me pee my pants a bit." Thanks.
Yeah... I am with you on the need to make mommy friends, try to do the drop off approach with a smile and a Hi, I'm B's mommy and get the WTH looks from established mommies. It's like high school all over again...
Just take it slow and steady and don't make any sudden moves and scare the potential friend away!!


oh, my goodness. i can't believe that photo exists, and your use of that photo? perfection. diet-coke-out-the-nose perfection.

yay for fresh starts!


Can I just say that I am so glad this is how the story ended? Because, for some reason I was feeling some doom and gloom over the fact that the other kid's mom had been pregnant, but now wasn't. And she mentions the fog she'd been in, and I got all worried about the BABY!

But there was no baby.

So thank goodness it was just embarrassment and not tragedy.


Amy, we are like the same person! I would obsess all summer, too. Here's hoping for a new mommy friend.

Sprite's Keeper

Bwahahaha! I LOVE this! I have done this so many times myself that I was hopeful someone else had actually done it too. Thank you!


"... hurl myself at a nearby potted plant..."

Funniest. Thing. Ever.

You are such a dweeb. And I love you so (in a non-stalkerish way, of course...).


I have so done that. Picked the wrong mom of someone else and thought I had a conversation with them. Also, once I remembered a conversation from a f'in DREAM and insisted it was real to another mom while she looked at me like my head was on fire. Because I'm a dumbass. Good to see there's pleasant company in the land of Dumbassia.

Heather B.

I'm laughing my ass off right now. Thank you.

Between you and me I just keep on laughing and repeating 'you dumbass'. But I'm lauging really, really hard because WOW.

Thank you, Amy!


It's so reassuring to read blogs of people and learn that I'm not the only one with "newgirlitis". I hate being the newcomer. Your mistake isn't a hard one to make. I could see myself making the same hilarious and embarrassing blunder. :-)

After Words

I swear to you the exact same thing happened to me just recently...This woman who I thought I'd had a lovely time with at the playground completely ignored me the next few times I saw her. I obsessed about it, felt bad about it, could not understand what I'd done wrong. Then just recently I ran into the actual woman again: turns out she'd been living abroad for the last 9 months and it was her doppleganger (who I'd never met before) who was blowing me off.

Good thing I'm so mature about it all.


OMG, Amy! I am cringing over here just reading this and giggling with uncomfortable hilarity. Aaaawkwaaard, and I love it. Totally been in your shoes.


Comment part the first: I DO remember LonelyGirl15, and I really enjoyed her until it got all creepy and Satanist and confusing and fake. Boo Hiss.

Comment part the second: Dude, YES, the second episode of FlashForward was so terrible! What was with that horribly abysmal writing??? Of course I will keep watching because a)Charlie and b) I am now curious enough to know what it all means to stick it out. But that doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.

Comment part the third: WOW. Haha!! I am sorry to laugh at you, but how can I not?! But just so you know, I am laughing in a completely affectionate and not at all judgmental way. :)

Parsing Nonsense

Oh wow. That is really embarrassing. Let's all just look at that picture of the trashy girl crashed into a potted plant and mock together, shall we?

Amy M.

That's hilarious! I've been on the other side of that - completely forgetting I've met someone because I'm flaky like that. I'll introduce myself, get a weird look & my hubby will tell me later - you've met her before, you moron! I'm so cool.

Jessica (@It's my life...)

That is SOOOOO something I would have done/would do/ok fine have done.
Thank god you didn't ask her how the baby was doing... ;-)



My life is not nearly as funny as yours.

And also. I'm sick of the Gosselins. You should probably do a Deoderant Wars about them.

You've got at least 10 sticks by now, right?


I am so glad this story didn't take a turn for the worse and that you didn't accidentally bring up her pregnancy and possible miscarriage, and holy eff, things could have been worse... so you've got that going for you.


Oh my, that's quite embarrassing. And that is why I never say hi first, because what if she doesn't even remember me?

Also, is that really Jon G's girlfriend?

samantha jo campen



OMG, Amy, thanks for my laugh for today. I totally did NOT see that ending coming. And thanks for being 1)such a very real fallible person, and 2) willing to admit to being a very real fallible person. This story is something that would happen to me--especially the "obsessing, all summer long" over the other person's behavior. I am trying hard to learn to GET OVER THINGS before I get to the obsessed stage (with limited success).


Ha! You dork!

(And yet, I wonder why I don't have any mom-friends. Maybe because I laugh at other people's misery and call them names.)

Kristin H

Well, at least you didn't give her cookies.

Tracy H

OMG you crack me up! So funny! Good Luck with the "New Girl" thing. Why is making friends as an adult so hard!


Pretty please can you write a Bounce Back installment about making "mom friends"? And/or about the difficulties and sometime impossibilities of maintaing old friendships from pre-parenthood? I mean, this post might not demonstrate the BEST friend-making skills, but...

Erin @ Fierce Beagle

YES!!! This is simply amazing. Question: Did you admit to the mom who now thinks *she* is suffering from early onset Alzheimer's that you actually did goof and you *hadn't* met before?


LOL. At least they weren't the only two, like, *Asian* moms.

Anna A

So did you admit to her that you didn't know her? Or is she still feeling awkward for not remembering you? Hope the rest of the "conversing with grownups" goes better :-)


I was all into it until you posted the pic of Gosselin girlfriend, and then I lost it and can't stop laughing. At her...

ok, and a little at you.

cause I would so totally do that.


Well, dang! I guess you're human. We've all mistaken someone for someone else! It is kind of humiliating, but I love that you can write about it. I've always felt like the nerd in the group. Don't delete the post!!


Dude. What if she has a blog and is all, "you know that crazy stalker mom I've been telling you about all summer. The one that keeps STARING at me? ...well, AWKWARD ENCOUNTER!" Hey, props to you for trying to make friends. Why is it so hard to make adult friends?


Thank you. I am such a socially awkward dork that I do that kind of crap all the time. I love that I am not alone. Thank you thank you thank you


This was a hilarious post. Once I saw a friend in the grocery store (it had been a few years!!) and had an entire conversation about life and kids before realizing later that she was someone else. I got a little flustered when talking about her kids because the ages and sexes didn't quite add up. Doh!

To this day I haven't fessed up.


Ha. Too funny.
"plans to delete this post before an updated class list is distributed with last names and I achieve the Social Pariah status"
What do you think they are going to google you? (Something I would totally do.)


This is the point where I typically pet my BFF on the head and tell her it's a good thing she's pretty.

While laughing. ;)



ps I would totally be your Mommy friend.


Oh god, you poor thing. Come up to CT and we'll drink until you've forgotten it all.

Hairy Farmer Family

Oh, my dear. I knew there was a reason God made me so COMICALLY FUCKING BAD at recognising faces. It was so I could leave this comment and reassure you with absolute sincere truth that I have done that EXACT TYPE OF THING, lots and often. My embarrassment calls out to yours like mastodons across the swamp! Or something.


THAT is FUNNY. Socially awkward for you, but FUNNY for us!


I would have died and blogged as well.

And thank you for giving me hope that I won't be the only asshole socially-awkward mom out there!

Because like, ok seriously? Biggest fear.


Some days its nice to know in my batches of insanity that I am not alone....and for that neither are you.

Burgh Baby

Is it weird that I love you more now than I did before? If it is, just ignore me. Or pretend I'm someone else.


I cannot stop laughing. OH MY HELL that is HILARIOUS. And totally something I would do.

Amira @

Oh buddy! Been there, done that except I spent an entire hour chattin' it up with someone named Lauren. Then when I leave and say

"Bye Lauren"

and she says

"Bye, but my name is Diane"

I'm all like

"What the hell?"

She clearly wasn't the person I thought she was, but humored me anyway.

I don't know if that was sweet of her or stupid of me.


If this were me, I'd blame my children. Because before I had children, I could remember where I went, who I saw, and what was said. After children ...if i don't write it down, it didn't happen, doesn't exist, isn't needed. That's what happened to you - your beautiful children stole a little bit of your brain :) Are you going to tell her you were wrong about meeting her?

Steph the WonderWorrier

Oh my GOODNESS, this is one of the best stories EVAR. SO FUNNY! And totally something I would do, because I'm actually really bad with faces. Thanks for sharing it with us for a laugh and for a "I can so RELATE!" moment!

Here's an embarrassing story of mine in which I too mixed up people...


Wow. This sounds like something I would do. One time at Storytime, when I was sensory overloaded and coming down with the Month-Long Sickness From Hell, I went up to a vaguely-similar-to-the-mom-from-the-playgroup-I-got-unsubscribed-from-for-being-depressed woman, and said mom-from-playgroup's name in that "Hi, is it you" tone of voice, and whatever this woman answered, I COULD NOT HEAR because sensory and sick and stuff. But she looked confused. And I said something vague and went to the train table.

I still don't know who she was.


I've been reading for a while now but I'm not much of a commenter.

But I maybe just died a little right now laughing.

So beyond amazing.


That was so incredibly well told and funny and I'm so sorry that happened, but thanks for making my day. Also, I wish we went to the same preschool because I'd love to be your friend.


I want to take this post behind the middle school and get it pregnant.


I am absolutely atrociously horrible at remembering faces, it's beyond embarrassing. I can't even tell you how many times I've stuck my foot in my mouth...this story at least makes me feel like I'm not the only person with recognition issues!lol


OMG -- THANK YOU -- I thought I was the only one to have the fourth-of-july-fireworks-induced-stroke of complete jack-assed forgetfulness. Now I can forgive myself for putting the eggs in the freezer and the plastic wrap in the pots and pans drawer, all the while yelling at my kids for the love of pete where did you kids put the eggs and plastic wrap??!!! THANK YOU, AMYYYYY!


Amy is human...we all have epic fuck ups. You just end up telling the world about yours.

Heather Ben

too funny, but i am totally there with you on the social awkwardness issue. to my husband it comes naturally, to me...not so much.


That was without a doubt the best roller coaster Bossy has ever been on. Again! Again!


This is something that would totally happen to me. I feel your pain. Seriously.


hey, at least you didn't ask about her non existent baby!!!


Oh, dear, Lonelygirl. I was straight up ALL into that. I even had a message board. Then when they killed her off I stopped bothering... but it was fun when no one knew if she was 'real' or not and we all sorta proved that she wasn't. :)


I would totally do that, and in fact have done it in the past. This has led to some weird kind of paranoia I have now where I DON"T acknowledge people just becuase I'm worried that wait maybe that isn't the person I think it is! I'm pretty sure it is, they're looking at me like they know me, but I better not say anything becuase holy crap you never know it might not be them! Yes I'm crazy. Don't do what I do.


"Social pariah"??? No, I don't think so! I now have a few (very few) mom friends, but I would so totally run up to you waving my arm, smiling (probably tripping over my feet), greeting you! You are superduperness fantastic!


Fully <3ing you for the LG15 and Jon Gosselin girlfriend references!! All is not lost! You have Easter Eggy Interwebs references!


I can't believe the physical reactions I had to this...I was like 'what' 'noooo' and with my jaw dropping open - then I killed myself laughing....


Maybe this will make you feel better. A couple weeks ago I went to a book signing for a popular author. I ended up going alone because my friend couldn't come with me, met a very nice, very cool mom in the line, we hit it off, talked and laughed together and at the end she gave me her email address and said, "Please get in touch, I had such a good time talking with you."

Like OMG! Somebody wanted to be my friend! Somebody I had things in common with! So I played it cool, waited till the next day, sent what I hoped was a not-stalky-but-friendly email to her, and waited for a response.

For a week. By the end of the week I was seriously moping around, convinced I had screwed everything up by saying something--either in real life or in email--that had made her seriously reconsider being friends with me, that I had been a total dorkwad. I was trying to recall every line of conversation, trying to remember if I had said something freakish.

Then I got an email from her, apologizing for not getting back to me sooner, but there had been a tragic death in the family, and she was having a hard time dealing with it.

I felt about half an inch tall. I had made it all about me, and it couldn't have been LESS about me.

So, yeah. This is why I can't have nice things.


omgomgOMG... that's so.. I dunno. I have tears in my eyes like I don't know whether to laugh, or cry for you. But I'm pretty sure it's the fact I'm a sensitive pregnant lady ;)


Amy you are a trip! At least you don't have some weird arch rival out there!


I was totally with you on hating that Mom until about one paragraph before you admitted you had the wrong woman, because at that paragraph, I thought to myself, "Amy totally is talking to the wrong woman."

What a great story. Now, do you plan to seek out pregnant-Mom? You know where her kid goes to school, after all.


Oh My God! That is hi-larious and SO something I would do. I don't think that's embarassing at all!


I do things like this all the time...but only since I had kids. Why is it all so difficult? And shouldn't we all wear nametags all the time?


bwahaha seriously? you're a freak. :0)


Don't worry. It happens! I once hated this woman who I thought was the woman dating this guy I had a crush on. Now even if she was the correct person, I realize rationally that it's stupid to not like a woman just because she's dating a crush. But still, I hated the woman who looked like her and even when I realized I was hating the wrong woman, a woman who just looks like a woman I dislike for no good reason anyway? I still really don't like her.


OK, you've had me since you got yourself stuck in the backseat of your Subaru in the great stroller wrestling incident. But this is too funny! Sometimes we just try too hard don't we?

Once I admitted to another mom that I would rather set myself on fire than read my son (a 12 mos old at the time) those one word board books. I mean, that's not really adult entertaiment, and there's other stuff you can do to stimulate them, but I did it and hated it. Just like I play legos and matchbox cars and don't really find it the greatest use of my time.

She never talked to me again. Apparently self-immolation is akin to child neglect. Oh well. If people don't get you, why do you want to be friends with them? It's not like I had a lighter and some gasoline handy...


That is AWESOME. Because I would probably have done the exact same thing. No, I DEFINITELY would have done the same thing! Just when I'm feeling pretty good about myself, the universe hands me a smackdown in the same vein. Gotta laugh about it!!!! :-) :-)


I do stuff like this all the time! All. The. Time. For serious.

I worked in many restaurants in my 20's and I'm always just POSITIVE the person who I kind-of-remember was a customer/co-worker. But it always turns out to be either (a) a parent from my kids' school or (b) someone I don't actually know.

So. I always come off looking like a total dumbass. Priceless.

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