Funny how...
The Great Defender


Allow me to present definitive proof that the public schools are turning the hearts and minds of our children against us.

EXHIBIT A, which came home in Noah's backpack late last week:


EXHIBIT B, which came home yesterday, thus cementing the fact that this is officially a pattern:


If, for some reason, you are not super-experienced when it comes to deciphering preschool crayon scribblings, I present an enhanced and annotated version:


WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING THIS CHILD AT THAT SCHOOL? I swear to God, if I find out that next week's field trip to the farm is actually a volcano discovery mission, I am homeschooling from now the fuck on. 



Not exactly sure what the freak-out is for but wanted to tell you how HIGHLY IMPRESSIVE that drawing is! I knew exactly what it was in the first picture. Go Noah!

Hi, I'm Natalie.

Aww - That kid has imagination. (How does a kid find out about volcanoes and lava?!)


Honestly, the first thing I thought of when looking at these photos was female genitalia in the first one and male in the second. Don't tell me you can't see it!

BUT, yes, on closer inspection and after thoroughly berating myself for being such a perv, I totally see the volcano and congratulate Noah on his fantastic drawing skills!


Blame the Icelandic volcano. Everyone else in Europe is.


They might've been talking about that alphabet-named volcano in Iceland?

Moleskine Mama @ moleskinemama.blogspot

Perhaps Lavar Burton can comfort you via Twitter?

Sprite's Keeper

You definitely can't misinterpret that as a puppy.


I live in SW Washington, home of Mount St. Helens--mainland America's most active volcano. I could worry, but I don't. I think Noah is just exploring current events and his conclusion seems to be "volcanoes are awesome." I couldn't agree more.


My 7-year-old came home from our public school (in a not-at-all-coastal area) talking about hurricanes yesterday thanks to watching a Reading Rainbow on weather. It all comes back to LeVar Burton!


Just be glad he didn't draw an airplane headed into the giant, ashy cloud of doom!!!


Here's hoping they don't ask you to chaperon the class field trip to Iceland!


On the plus side, it's a very nice drawing of a volcano....

I did find the panic level a nice touch in the second one. Gave it a certain 'realism' as it were.


Don't worry, drawings of death and destruction are what passes for normal with boys. My 4 year old brings home endless pictures of robots or star ships sprouting a myriad of guns, guns, guns, and more guns. His artwork is relevant, and quite good.


(Jenn: I have a fairly well-documented lifelong phobia of volcanoes. Which is why I even have a separate blog category for them.)

beta dad

Debbie! I totally saw naughty bits in the first one too! The second one not so much.


I immediately spotted a volcano! Then went....Uh oh....
It's ok Amy, the volcano can't get you! Me on the other hand? Am flying from Europe to USA in 2 weeks. Please tell this volcano to go back to sleep...?


Those look like exhibits in a powerpoint presentation I just sat through.




Oh. Mah. Gahd. They are obviously sitting around watching CNN all day... otherwise, why would he be thinking about volcanoes?


Maybe he's feeling like Ezra was cornering the scare-the-bejeebus-out-of-Mama market and he wanted to hone in on that action? He did an impressive job on the pictures, too. The volcanoes are completely identifiable.

My question is, are you going to put them on the fridge?


I think that you should send a strongly worded note to the teacher saying that current events are great, but that Noah lives in a household where Mama is allergic to Volcanoes.


If you don't want that first one, cause of the volcano phobia and all, I'll take it! Knew what it was immediately.
So I guess your phobia hasn't transferred to Noah? Next he'll want to see that Reading Rainbow episode..


I hate to tell you, but homeschooling will not protect you from the Volcanoes of Doom. We've been homeschooling since our oldest was a preschooler, and he had a period where he was just FASCINATED with volcanoes and all things related to volcanoes. And my now five year old is going through that period too. I think it's a boy thing.


My 4 yr old has an obsession with volcanoes right now. Fortunately, he wants to avoid them. A recent conversation:

T: Mom, where do the White Sox play?
Me: Chicago.
T: Do they have volcanoes there?
Me: No.
T: Let's go there.

C @ Kid Things

I have to say I'm glad you provided notes, because I had NO CLUE what that was otherwise.


Dude. No worries. At my kids school...they have this thing where some company turns your kids artwork into a 3X4 magnet for your 'frige. They send it to you and tell you if you want it, pay $5 and if you don't...send it back. you are ever going to send it back.

Anyway..I now have 3 magnetic volcanoes decorating my refrigerator. K thru 2nd grade. SO...I don't know which is worse...that fact that my kid obviously draws volcanoes...A LOT. Or the fact that the art teacher choose a volcano drawing THREE years in a row. I mean COME ON...can we get a flower or something??


My niece's favorite song is Volcano by Jimmy Buffet (we're the redneck parrothead type around here...).

Just thought I'd put that out there, in case the kids in her state are being taught the same thing as the kids in your state.


Srsly. WTF. My 3yo came home yesterday concerned about that I was about to be burned by the avocado pit in my hand because he had been forced to jump around a "volcano pit," which on further questioning turned out to be a rug in the preschool activity room, and now he believed that all "pits" may possibly burn you. Thanks, preschool.


Good grief! Tell the B in section D to RUN!!


Homeschooling won't prevent it. My 4 yr old is completely, totally obsessed with volcanoes. He watches tv shows about volcanoes, reads books about volcanoes, and talks about pyroclastic flows and the difference between magma and lava.


I have 2 years worth of volcano drawings. And about 5 years of Star Wars drawings. And every single one of them is just like the one before them except, well, they're NOT and do NOT throw them away lest you meet the artist's wrath...


He is obviously interested in Volcanoes. Boys like volcanoes. Expertise in this area will give him some cache with the other kids.

Plus. Mommy's afraid of them. And he isn't!

Its a Win Win!

Miss Britt

that first picture is GENIUS for his age!

Thrift Store Mama

Interesting. My 4 3/4 year old draws the very same sort of pictures. She calls them fireworks though. When I first saw Noah's, I thought, "Wow, that's so cool that he draws pictures just like Beezus even though they don't know each other or anything." Then I thought, "Hey maybe that's called childhood development when kids of a similar age do things at similar points - go figure !"

Nancy R

SO five posts ago, BUT! Pottery Barn Kids has the yellow letters in space on a pillow sham!

Debbie S.

I was reading a Dora book to my almost 3 y.o. granddaughter the other day. She pointed at a picture of a hill and said "Look WaWa, that's a ball-candle!" I was like, "No, Hannah, that's a hill". She insisted it was a "ball-candle". I finally asked "what is a ball-candle"? She said "Fire and hot waba (she can't pronounce her L's) comes out of it, I saw it on T.B."! So, yeah, kids these days are tuned into current events at a very early age!


I never comment on your blogs, but read them every day that you post.
This one compelled me to write and tell you that I sploded with laughter when I saw the first picture. So much so, my roommate had to come in from the next room to see what was so funny.
I feel your pain, you know. I have a Wind Turbine phobia and those suckers are popping up all over the midwest where I live.


Is he in to dinosaurs now too?? My boy started the volcano obsession about the same time the dino obsession started...I think cause every freaking dinosaur book has volcanoes in it. NBD. He'll get over it.


Dude, I hate to break it to you but...I think Noah may have found your blog.

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