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March 2010
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May 2010

Lapdog Meets Laptop

SIGH. YOUGUYS. I TIRED. SO VERY, VERY TIRED. MOAR CHILDREN IN HOUSE THAN USUAL TODAY. THEY CALL IT PLAYDATE. NO LIKE. IS VERY LOUD WITH SHRIEKING. ALSO NEW CHILD SMELLS LIKE STICKY. YET I NOT ALLOWED TO LICK NEW STICKY CHILD. WOE. I STAY HERE INSTEAD WHOLE TIME SO THERE. OH HEY DID I HEAR SUMBODY SAY SNACK? SUMTHING ABOUT A SNACK? OH HEY GOTTA GO EXTRA CHILDREN MEAN EXTRA SNACKS AND EXTRA CRUMBS I LOVE PLAYDATES BYE *** This post is sponsored by Milk-Bone as part of the "It's Good To Give" series. Check out their Canine Assistants program on Facebook, which helps people with disabilities and get involved by sharing photos of your own dog on the Milk-Bone Flickr stream. Read more →


In the end, the decision was easier than I thought it would be. Jason and I essentially did a "on the count of three everybody say their gut feeling okay one, two, three" conversation and both blurted out the same answer. And it felt like the right one. Even though it wasn't the answer I originally saw myself choosing, honestly. Not that we haven't revisited the topic over and over and over again since (because oh, Christ, we have, and I am so sick of talking about this, even though I am here on my blog continuing to talk about it gah stab this entry with a fork I am so done). But each time we've ended up back where we started, nodding in agreement. We're going to stick with the IEP, the public Preschool Education Program. (breathes into a paper bag) I think I've mentioned it before, but we are fortunate to live in an AMAZING school district. And we live in a pocket of that district with especially well-regarded schools. Every time I set foot in the elementary school where Noah attends PEP I am endlessly impressed with the facility and the teachers and the quality of services... Read more →

Choices We're Lucky To Have (But Still Don't Want To Make)

Well. So. That happened. And it was fine. And now I have absolutely no clue what we're supposed to do next. I've been sitting here in a sandwich shop for an hour and a half staring at a bowl of cold soup, trying to string words together, trying to come up with anything else besides: Damn! Fuck! The Immersion Program. It doesn't exist! I mean, it does, but not for kids Noah's age. Kids his age have one basic option: a five-days-a-week version of the class he's in now, though with more of a focus on the kindergarten transition. And it's in the afternoon. They want him in it. Where did we get the brilliant idea of sending Noah to a non-existent immersion option? From his five-days-a-week private school, who originally suggested it without fact-checking the age requirements. The private school that also wants him to return next year. That also meets in the afternoon. He cannot attend both. We have to choose, one over the other. I realize how silly this sounds: We only get to send our child to ONE nationally-recognized special-education program? And one of them is FREE? Damn! My life is so hard, dawgs. And yet.... Read more →

I, EEEEPPP, Round Two

Today is Noah's IEP meeting, to determine educational goals and his placement for next year. We plan to ask for the immersion program, a new speech evaluation, and to argue against a recommendation of reducing occupational therapy to every other week. I'm going prepared, yet white-knuckled and throat-clenched and stressed-out beyond belief. So. You know. Business as usual. (Wish us luck.) Read more →

What's That Buzzing? Do You Hear That Buzzing? It's Really Annoying.

I'm not really sleeping much, all of a sudden. Or when I do, I'm not sleeping particularly well. I wake up a lot, usually in some super-cool spastic style at the end of a mildly unsettling dream.* Then my brain gets up and going on its little hamster wheel and I can't get back to sleep because I'm too busy thinking of various phone calls I have to make, and oh do I ever hate making phone calls. So last night I finally started mayyyyyybe connecting the dots and coming to the conclusion that I am mayyyyyyyyybe drinking a little too much of a shitload of coffee. Thus, today was to be the day when I Gave Up Coffee. Or at least Cut Back. A Little. Some. Punchline: Am currently on cup number, like, five or something. But I'm super productive and type-y and hey look SQUIRREL. *Oh my God, let me tell you about my dream! Because that's always so interesting and not annoying right? Last night I dreamt I won exactly $45 million dollars in the lottery. I proceeded to write $1 million bonus checks for our cleaning lady and babysitter, and Jason announced that he'd just spent... Read more →

Rakish Good Looks

SHH. HIDING. WAT. SUMTIMES U WANT SUM SUN, BUT NOT TOO MUCH SUN. YOONO? WATEVER. JUS JELUS, PROBABLY. THIS IS THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. STILL KIND OF HOT THO. SENSING FLAW. HMM. THAT DRAIN THING LOOKS LIKE NICE PLACE FOR WHICH TO BE STICKING MY HEAD IN. ALSO: SHADY, COOL. To be continued... This is another sponsored Milk-Bone post, part of the It's Good To Give series. These were supposed to be weekly but a snafu meant Thursday's post had go up Monday instead but then this one was always supposed to go up today and...and...nobody really cares about this twice-weekly thing as much as I do, I'm guessing. Anyway! Milk-Bone invites you to check out their Canine Assistants program. Share photos of your little sunbeam dog at the Facebook group or Flickr stream. Read more →

Easter. What? Too Late?

(UPDATE: SCHOOL BUS! SCHOOL BUS! Noah screamed with joy at the sight of it this morning and then tried to hug the doors. He also went to his afternoon program yesterday and had a terrific first day back, even though they MOVED FURNITURE AROUND and CHANGED CIRCLE TIME and MADE NEW PICTURE SCHEDULES for all the kids. If you've read along for any length of time you'll know it's a damned Easter Miracle that Noah didn't have a major conniption over these changes, but instead was all, "Eh, I'm just happy to be here, you guys.") (Also! I know! His shoes. He has big feet. I saved every pair of shoes from his babyhood and STILL don't have any proper hand-me-downs for Ezra yet because apparently Noah was still wearing soft-soled BABY BOOTIES when his feet were Ezra's size.) Also also! Hey! Remember when Easter happened? No? Well, it did. And I took pictures. Then I forgot about them. Here they are. You are welcome. Things I forgot to do: 1) Make the earth-friendly Easter basket grass stuff out of recyclable materials; used annoying and likely toxic silver glitter stuff left over from Christmas instead, and 2) Explain Easter to... Read more →

Back-to-School Spirit

This morning I woke Noah up with shrieks of SCHOOL BUS! SCHOOL BUS! He quickly joined in -- spring break was over! Finally! No sense in hiding our mutual joy! Quick! Get up, get dressed! You can wear shorts! What, no socks? SURE WHY NOT, Mommy's feeling all sorts of permissive and giddy today! The SCHOOL BUS is a'coming! We ate breakfast and assumed our spots by the window and waited. And waited. I tweeted a couple times, because clearly, this was some riveting action. You guys ever wondered what it's like to wait for a school bus? Follow me for a truly gritty, realistic experience. I'm like the Michael Bay of Twitter. SPOILER ALERT: The bus was late. Creeping into "not coming" territory. This wouldn't be the first time that's happened -- it's a preschool-dedicated route and the driver has gotten confused around half-days and holidays before. But unlike those times, when I generally shrugged and let Noah enjoy an impromptu morning off, I was NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. NO. Come hell or high water, I was going to somehow find a way to get Noah to school, even if it meant putting them in the car and... Read more →

She Works Hard for the Waffles

You know what this week needs? Waffles. It needs some waffles. WAT. WAT U SAY. U SAY WAFFLE THAT'S A WAFFLE O GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING WAFFLE! NO WAFFLE! WAFFLE! stupidwaffleperson gonna gonnaflippin getdatwaffle HYSTERICAL DOG SNEEZING INTERLUDE ETC. SUCCESSORY INSPIRATIONAL PRINT, THEME: INVISIBLE PERSEVERANCE CAN ALMOST. TASTE. WAFFLE. Oh, hello. I would also like to submit my sincere interest in hazzing dat waffle. IS LIKE KING SOLOMON OR SUMTHING. WOULD ALSO HAVE CEPTED SPLITTING BAYBEE. *snarf* And FIN. As you could probably guess from all the Milk-Bone ads and this here logo thing, this post is sponsored by Milk-Bone. It'll be part of a "It's Good to Give" series this month (so get ready for MOAR CEIBA YAY). Check out their Canine Assistants program, which helps people with disabilities and get involved by sharing photos of your own dog on the Milk-Bone Flickr stream. Read more →

Poor Little Tough Guy

Allow me to say, in my own defense, that I'm NOT the one who's being 700 kinds of stubborn and foot-draggy about getting Ezra's hair cut. I'm not looking forward to it, that mind-melting moment when the baby-shag drops off and leaves a indisputable, total BOY CHILD in its wake, but I'm not opposed to it. I see it. I know it. We've entered full-on mullet territory now, though I guess technically that's my fault too, because if it were up to SOMEONE COUGH JASON COUGH, we wouldn't even be trimming Ezra's bangs. I trim them myself, all surreptitiously-like, when Jason's not around, because I cannot seem to explain to him the simple PHYSICS of our boys' hair, which grows hedge-like and straight-down over their eyes: And Barrettes Are Not An Option. Anyway. That's not at all what I intended to write about today: I just wanted to let you know that I am aware of the situation, but it's not entirely just my call: Jason wakes up early every Saturday morning so I can sleep in. And then he makes pancakes. What does that have to do with Ezra's hair? Nothing. Everything. I don't know. I can't disrespect his... Read more →