How It Happened
October 12, 2010
Well, sweeties, sometimes, when two Spider-Mans love each other very very much...
Okay. Not going into THAT kind of detail or anything, but still.
I'm pregnant.
I'M PREGNANT.
For those of you who were thoroughly gobsmacked by this news, trust me, I'm only about a week ahead of you on the WHAAAA? And HUHHHHH? And HOLYSHIIIII?
But let's back up. Once upon a time, there was a crazy girl who, in the end-stage throes of baby fever, practically had to twist her husband's arm into having just one single little puny baby. And after many many many months and a couple years of trying, they agreed to stick with that one single (not-so-little-or-puny) baby. Until said baby was all of five weeks old, when her husband suddenly announced, "THIS IS FUN. LET'S DO THIS AGAIN."
And so, after many many many months and a couple years of trying, they had another baby. Who was definitely supposed to be the last baby. The crazy girl even thought so too, most of the time. But then...I don't know. The crazy spread, and her husband just never seemed ready to make that appointment for the big snip, and the feeling of "completeness" that everybody talks about never really settled in to stay. Especially because dammit, these babies are AWESOME. How could you not want more awesome babies like these?
So the consensus became, "Okay, we'll keep that option open, for later, for someday. Probably not super-soon though."
Meanwhile, they both kept not-so-secretly hoping for an accident, just to spare them the actual decision-making involved with OH YES, WHAT THE HELL, LET'S DELIBERATELY HAVE THREE WHOLE SOLID CHILDREN.
***
We found out about my dad's leukemia on September 15th. On the 16th, Jason called the babysitter and took me out for dinner. At some point during this dinner, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I think I'm ready for another baby."
I said, "Me too."
I was already pregnant, but of course we didn't know that.
***
Over the next couple weeks the topic seemed to come up in conversation a lot, with friends and family, and I tried the idea on out loud, saying that yes, we were definitely going to start planning to think about actively trying for another baby. Just to see how crazy it sounded, on a scale of one to 10. Maybe a seven?
But of course, it was still all just big talk at that point, because my cycles have been just as crazy as ever over the past year. 35 days, 47 days, 56 days. We couldn't even start trying after Jason's declaration because my period would just. Not. Show up. Annoying!
I blamed the stress of this month, of course, and wondered if maybe it was a bad idea to start trying -- already a tough process for us -- in the midst of all the illness and grief and turmoil. When Jason had his health scare I couldn't even fathom the cruelty of everything -- here we'd gone from happily planning our future as a family of five to...well. Whatever. Not even worth discussing.
I had a dream about a positive pregnancy test the night before I had to drive Jason to an upper endoscopy appointment last Tuesday, because he'd be knocked out with anesthesia. I dropped him off and stopped at a grocery store for a box of tests -- I was nearly two weeks late, though I scoffed at myself in the self-checkout line anyway.
I drove home and took a test...which was screamingly, distinctly positive before I even had a chance to STAND UP. I stared at it for awhile and burst out laughing.
Then I scribbled HOLY SHIT!!!!! on the inside of a blank note card before shoving it and the test into an envelope, which I gave to a groggy, still-woozy Jason in the car immediately after picking him up after the procedure.
***
I thought I was about seven weeks along, so when the doctor had trouble finding anything on the ultrasound, I was concerned. When he found the gestational sac, I was relieved, until we all realized that it looked completely empty.
"Oh," I said, looking at Jason. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I even bothered thinking something this good was possibly going to happen. I should of known.
"There it is!" the doctor announced. "You're only about six weeks. Do you have long or...just kind of weird cycles sometimes?"
I was laughing already. "You have NO IDEA."
***
So. There it is. The most planned-for unplanned pregnancy in the history of ever. I'm going back next Monday for another ultrasound to confirm the heartbeat. (We all saw something definitely flickering, but it was too small to see for absolute sure.) I'm actually feeling pretty good, apart from the headaches, sore boobs, fatigue, bloating and lightheadedness. You know, the usual. I have no idea how in sam hill we're going to afford to buy a damn minivan and I guess I need to make good on those plans to move the boys into a single room and I have to organize the hand-me-downs and and and and etc.
I am so happy, you guys.
That is so awesome!! Congratulations! You are wonderful parents and you make beautiful babies.
Posted by: AngstyJen | October 12, 2010 at 10:31 AM
sooooooooooooooooooo happy for you
Posted by: mswas | October 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Lady, you totally deserved some good news. Very happy for you!
Posted by: Shannon | October 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM
So. Totally. Awesome. Congrats!
Posted by: Sarah Marie | October 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Very happy for your happiness. Is it wrong to hope for a girl this time? :-) They really are awesome, you know.
Posted by: Sprite's Keeper | October 12, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Total and complete awesomeness. Congratulations!
Posted by: Lauren | October 12, 2010 at 10:33 AM
Awesome! Our third (boy) was unplanned-planned, too!
Posted by: Meghan | October 12, 2010 at 10:33 AM
Will you ever let me get through a workday without the crying?
Congratulations!
Posted by: Jenn | October 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM
I'm just so excited for you! It's the best news I've heard in a while. Oh, and I did love the "two Spider-Mans" story.
Posted by: Starbuck | October 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM
Congratulations! Yay for some happy news. :-)
Posted by: Carole | October 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM
I love that after your years of trying for babies you got to be surprised, that is just so wonderful! Happy!
Posted by: Erin | October 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM
Moar boys!
Posted by: hrm | October 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM
So thrilled for you!
Our first (and so far, only) was of the unplanned/planned variety as well - after much too long in the planning/trying stage of things.
Surprise of the positively best sort!
Posted by: Beth | October 12, 2010 at 10:36 AM
Oh WOW! Congratulations!
Posted by: Mary | October 12, 2010 at 10:36 AM
HOORAY HOORAY! Another round of zero to forty? I would totally read even though I'm not pregnant. Congratulations to you and family!
Posted by: vtmunchkn | October 12, 2010 at 10:36 AM
Oh, and you should consider buying some stock in Chipotle...
Posted by: Starbuck | October 12, 2010 at 10:36 AM
SO. EFFING. HAPPY.
And a teeny bit jealous.
Congratulations you guys xxx
Posted by: jay | October 12, 2010 at 10:36 AM
:) COngratulations! Some much needed happy news for you guys.
Posted by: Mo | October 12, 2010 at 10:37 AM
Aw!!! So happy for you too. Babies make everything better. Congrats
Posted by: dorrie | October 12, 2010 at 10:37 AM
Best news EVA!!!!!!! Congratulations guys :)
Posted by: Em | October 12, 2010 at 10:37 AM
Yayyyy! So happy for you and your family!!
Posted by: Jan | October 12, 2010 at 10:38 AM
I'm very happy for your family :)
Posted by: lis | October 12, 2010 at 10:39 AM
What a wonderful surprise. Congratulations!
Posted by: bad penguin | October 12, 2010 at 10:39 AM
Holy wow. Congratulations!
Posted by: Rita Arens | October 12, 2010 at 10:40 AM
WHOA. Congratulations, Amalah-and-family!
Posted by: sarawr | October 12, 2010 at 10:41 AM
You know, as soon as you took down Zero to Forty, I began wondering when you'd turn up pregnant.
Best wishes to you, Jason, Noah and Ezra for this welcome new addition to your family!
Posted by: Suzy Q | October 12, 2010 at 10:41 AM
So, so, so happy for you.
Posted by: Sarah | October 12, 2010 at 10:41 AM
OMG!!! So happy for you!
Posted by: Jen | October 12, 2010 at 10:42 AM
:)!!!
I'm 36 weeks with my third. Please consider (amidst the celebration) updating the pregnancy calender...even with a paragraph on the bottom, with info on the third time around. There is so very little dedicated to third pregnancies, but its still special and exciting! I'm so very happy for you!
Posted by: Shannon | October 12, 2010 at 10:42 AM
Congratulations! What a wonderful blessing in the midst of everything else that you are all going through.
Posted by: emily | October 12, 2010 at 10:43 AM
Thrilled for you, Amy. I find myself in the "maybe we should have a happy accident" camp myself these days... I'm happy to let you try it out first, though. Congratulations again!
Posted by: Emily | October 12, 2010 at 10:43 AM
YAY!!!
We were completely shocked when we found out about our 3rd pregnancy also. We had a lot of "Holy shits" followed by the excitement. Enjoy it!!
Posted by: Meghan | October 12, 2010 at 10:43 AM
Congrats again. You deserve some good.
Posted by: Lee | October 12, 2010 at 10:44 AM
Congratulations!
Posted by: Laura in PA | October 12, 2010 at 10:44 AM
So, I found your blog while looking for a pregnancy blog I could relate to. You were pregnant with Noah and I was pregnant with my first. I stayed after our first babies were born, cause you are freakin' funny! Then we were pregnant with our second children at the same time and now, well we're pregnant with our third children at the same time. I am a few weeks ahead of you and in the nausea/vomiting/crying stage and so when I clicked last night and saw your ultrasound photo, I burst into tears. I am truly happy for you and happy to take this journey with you again, even if it is one-sided. Hope you have a healthy, uneventful pregnancy!
Posted by: Dina | October 12, 2010 at 10:45 AM
Ah! Congrats, I am so happy for you, and also very jealous. Perhaps a girl this time around?!
Posted by: Heather H | October 12, 2010 at 10:45 AM
I'm so happy for you Amy!!! I'm happy that you got the third baby you wanted so bad and I'm sure this baby will be just as awesome as Noah and Ezra. I'm tearing up and want to hug you so bad! So here's a commenting hug from NC! (((HUG)))
Posted by: Brandi | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
I'm laughing my ass off. My third kid? Total accident yet much wanted and planned for one day. Ha. Third babies are tricksy like that.
Posted by: Issa | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!! So excited for you! And so excited to get to read through another one of your pregnancies. :) LOVE this! Congrats to you and the whole fam.
Posted by: Lindsay | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
Hot damn, congratulations!
Posted by: Fakey | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
Congratulations hardly seems like enough to convey my joy for you and your family. I wish you all the best.
Posted by: Kim | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
Hooray! Ezra will make such a good big brother :)
Posted by: Lydia | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
I so hear you on the "we're not trying but we're not NOT trying because an accident would just make the decision SO MUCH EASIER" pussyfooting around the whole thing. Three kids! It sounds like so many. AND YET, here I am, lacking the completeness.
I am so so happy for you. Happy that this is coming now, when your family needs a bit of happiness. Happy that you didn't have to plan and chart and try for months and months.
Posted by: Diane | October 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM
BABIES!!! This is awesome. Congrats!
Posted by: Leslie | October 12, 2010 at 10:47 AM
OMG!! All of your posts make me cry now. I am so happy for you. Such a shiny moment in your otherwise chaotic life. You and Jason (and the boys) deserve all the best! Congratulations on your wonderful news!
Posted by: Natalie | October 12, 2010 at 10:47 AM
LOVE this. Congrats again!
Posted by: amanda | October 12, 2010 at 10:48 AM
If not a sign from God - I don't know what is.
Posted by: Lisa Z | October 12, 2010 at 10:48 AM
good, good, good! so happy for you guys :-)
Posted by: beccado | October 12, 2010 at 10:48 AM
Congrats! That's so awesome! I'm sitting here with my 6.5 week old at my boob and even though it's been a hellish 6.5 weeks, I'm thinking another baby sounds great for us... Here's wishing you an uneventful, morning-sickness free pregnancy!
Posted by: Laurski | October 12, 2010 at 10:49 AM
Am I the only one with my fingers crossed for a girl?
Posted by: Miss Britt | October 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM
I'm SO excited for you and Jason and your whole adorable family!
Posted by: Erin | October 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM
So awesome. So happy for you all! And it's a good thing those boys like sleeping in the same room!
Posted by: Candy | October 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM
I seriously couldn't be happier for you (and also, actually a little jealous because I want another one toooooo! Once I get this darn wedding out of the way, I guess...)
But: YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!
Posted by: agirlandaboy | October 12, 2010 at 10:51 AM
AHHH!!! (That is me screaming at the excitement of the news).
So, funny story, yesterday I would have been officially late, and I decided I would take a pregnancy test because I had one and, you know, why not?
My husband and I have been trying for over a year now, and I was totally, TOTALLY expecting another negative because my cycle, according to my fertility monitor, was completely wonky. Um. POSITIVE. WTF!
So, I am doubly excited to be going through my first pregnancy with my favorite blogging veteran.
Congratulations, Amy! I am so happy for you, Jason, Noah and Ez! And maybe I'll see you around at Chipotle!
Posted by: Kailee | October 12, 2010 at 10:51 AM
More goosebumps!
So happy for you all, Amy. Thanks so much for sharing with us.
Posted by: Jenna | October 12, 2010 at 10:52 AM
That look on your face is SO Ezra. Just saying. :)
Posted by: @tiffany | October 12, 2010 at 10:52 AM
How wonderful. I can't wait to see Ezra as a big brother. Congratulations a million times over.
Posted by: CJ | October 12, 2010 at 10:52 AM
Congratulations! I am so happy for y'all. It's such a blessing to get great news in the midst of heartbreak.
Posted by: Brandi Randol | October 12, 2010 at 10:53 AM
Best. News. Ever. Congrats!
Posted by: Rachel | October 12, 2010 at 10:53 AM
Best. News. Ever. Congrats!
Posted by: Rachel | October 12, 2010 at 10:53 AM
i am going to forget my jealousy, pop another clomid, and tell you confreakingratulaions! maaaaaaaaybe a girl? eh?
Posted by: kimba | October 12, 2010 at 10:54 AM
Squeeeeeeeeeee! That's all. Just squee!
And yay.
And congrats.
Posted by: wordnerd | October 12, 2010 at 10:54 AM
GREAT NEWS! So happy for you all! Maybe this one will be a girl!!
Posted by: Gerry | October 12, 2010 at 10:54 AM
just YEAH. There is nothing else to say.
Posted by: jodifur | October 12, 2010 at 10:56 AM
Amy, I think I may have 'said' this last time around when you announced your pregnancy with Ez, but I'm one of those women who don't get overly excited about babies... unless they happen to somebody like you and Jason. I think this is just excellent and I think this is the doing of your internets followers who happened to be screeming at the universe to give you guys a break. That and your own 'efforts' I guess!hardy-har-har!!! Great news!!! Wishing you all the health in the world!!!
Posted by: Katie | October 12, 2010 at 10:57 AM
SOOOOO excited for you! Congratulations!
Posted by: Amy | October 12, 2010 at 11:00 AM
So happy for you!! We have a 15 month old and I'm 15 weeks along with #2. My cycles, like yours, are totally wackadoodle. I was/am still nursing our toddler part time, so my pregnancy was very unexpected, and yet completely desired and celebrated. Cheers to happy surprises!
Posted by: Jennifer | October 12, 2010 at 11:00 AM
Congratulations!! What wonderful news!
Posted by: Beth | October 12, 2010 at 11:00 AM
YAY!!! Late to hear the news (stupid Canadian Thanksgiving) but YAY!!!
Three is awesome. :)
Posted by: Angella | October 12, 2010 at 11:02 AM
Oh man. Great. Now I want another one. Looook awaaaay!!! Loook awaaaaay!!! Aieee!! (Congrats)
Posted by: Stacy | October 12, 2010 at 11:02 AM
So so so so happy for you all! Congrats!
This post made me cry a little, but I may be overly emotional today.
Posted by: Sarah | October 12, 2010 at 11:02 AM
Dammit, you made me cry. AGAIN.
Congratulations. Seriously. I am ridiculously happy that y'all are so happy.
Posted by: Leandra | October 12, 2010 at 11:04 AM
Congrats, Amy. It was time for good news.
Posted by: Stacy | October 12, 2010 at 11:04 AM
Made me get all sniffly. I love this story.
Posted by: Shin Ae | October 12, 2010 at 11:06 AM
Just so excited for you guys!! You so deserve this right now! Much love to the five of you!
Posted by: WendyB | October 12, 2010 at 11:08 AM
Congrats!!!! :)
Posted by: Abra Leah | October 12, 2010 at 11:09 AM
So happy for all of you!!! And I too can see myself having three kids, which is totally crazy... my life is chaotic enough with just one, but somehow the thought makes me happy, like giddily happy.
Also, thinking pink, because honey you're already outnumbered as it is!
Posted by: Stephanie | October 12, 2010 at 11:11 AM
Holy pants! Congrats! Squeee!
Posted by: Molly | October 12, 2010 at 11:11 AM
Congrats! That is so exciting!!
Posted by: Bren | October 12, 2010 at 11:11 AM
I am so, so happy for you. Seriously, I wish I could hug all four of you. You and your family so deserve this wonderful news!
Posted by: Frema | October 12, 2010 at 11:13 AM
Congratulations!
Posted by: Kerri Anne | October 12, 2010 at 11:13 AM
God, and all of your internet sisters are SO HAPPY for you, too!! (And from an accidental third baby, YAY!)
Posted by: Julie | October 12, 2010 at 11:13 AM
Our third (and final) was also a "maybe we'll leave the options open" baby that came from my usually wonky 56-day cycles turning suddenly into the only 28-day cycle I had in five years. She's 10 months old. My husband finally got around to getting snipped last week because OMG FOUR CHILDREN WOULD KILL US ALL. Congrats again -- it's quite the rollercoaster with the third.
Posted by: Snarky Mommy | October 12, 2010 at 11:15 AM
Just want to say I'm smiling for you right now.
Posted by: Michele | October 12, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Three. Is. Awesome!
I'm crying with the happy, now. Thank you for always making me cry. Either tears of laughter, sadness or joy, you deliver.
Congratulations, sweets! Yay!!
Posted by: martha | October 12, 2010 at 11:16 AM
I am so happy for you!! I am a LONGTIME reader but never comment. I am 22+ weeks along with my second boy. Noah is about 6 months older than my son. I have been reading 0 to 40 faithfully, and I really hope you update with symptoms from this pregnancy.
Soo excited for you, and looking forward to seeing which flavor of baby you will be having!
Posted by: danish | October 12, 2010 at 11:17 AM
I am so happy for you!! I am a LONGTIME reader but never comment. I am 22+ weeks along with my second boy. Noah is about 6 months older than my son. I have been reading 0 to 40 faithfully, and I really hope you update with symptoms from this pregnancy.
Soo excited for you, and looking forward to seeing which flavor of baby you will be having!
Posted by: danish | October 12, 2010 at 11:17 AM
I am so happy. I AM SO HAPPY!
And I spent a good few minutes fantasizing about having a husband who would initiate a "ready for another baby" discussion. MMMmmmmmm.
Posted by: Swistle | October 12, 2010 at 11:18 AM
Read the first lines of this post and my reaction went something like this "OMG OMG OMG" while I was clapping my hands like a deranged baby seal!
So Fn happy for you both!! PS its a girl
Posted by: WifeMotherMe | October 12, 2010 at 11:19 AM
I am tearing up at work, I am SO 'CITED for you ! What happy news in a tumultous season!
Hurray!
Posted by: daysgoby | October 12, 2010 at 11:20 AM
Huge congrats Amy!
Posted by: Kristin | October 12, 2010 at 11:20 AM
That is so awesome - congratulations!!
Posted by: Sarah | October 12, 2010 at 11:22 AM
Your 2nd paragraph had me crying over my peanut butter english muffin. I'm so happy for your sweet little family that I enjoy reading about. Congrats!
Posted by: Jody | October 12, 2010 at 11:24 AM
Congratulations, Amy! This rules. :D
Posted by: Kendra | October 12, 2010 at 11:25 AM
I feel so left out because I remember Facebooking with you two years ago when we were both stuck on our couches, you nursing Ezra and me Soren (he turns 2 on Saturday). You're leaving us in the dust!
Posted by: betsy yates | October 12, 2010 at 11:26 AM
Jippiiiiiiiiieeeeee. Congralutations!!
Posted by: From Belgium | October 12, 2010 at 11:28 AM
Our last was also an "unplanned-planned" pregnancy--we knew we'd have a fourth eventually, but the news was still shocking. I had the exact same reaction. Crazy laughing, and "Holy Shit!" Our beautiful daughter (4th girl!) is now six months old. We know without a doubt that our family is complete. Congratulations!
Posted by: Shelly | October 12, 2010 at 11:29 AM
I'm just so happy for you. It's good to know that sometimes (SOMETIMES) things work out just as they're supposed to :)
Posted by: Bridget | October 12, 2010 at 11:30 AM
so friggin' happy for you mama!!! and yeah, I can't lie..I thought about the "girl thing" too. LOL
Posted by: Dawn Bent | October 12, 2010 at 11:31 AM
A spark of light in the middle of all that dark, so like life.
Congrats!
Posted by: Lizgizzy | October 12, 2010 at 11:32 AM