The Oh Shit Moment
February 22, 2011
It's a pregnancy rite of passage. At least for me, anyway. That moment when it actually, finally dawns on you that you are going to have a baby.
Like, a baby. Is going to come out of your body, one way or another, and then that baby is going to stay here. With you. In your house. And life. And you will be expected to do things with and for that baby. Fuck you, figurative state, shit just got literal up in this bitch.
I've had this moment strike me right around this same point, bolt-of-lightning style, every single time so far. You would think I would start noticing the general pattern of pregnancy = ACTUAL BABY, but I seem to be able to gloss over that little detail for most of the first two trimesters, and then suddenly:
OHSHIT.
A bunch of baby-related purchases arrived over the weekend, and I realized my system of shoving them all in a far corner of the nursery is no longer working, because there's now enough crap in that pile (including a sub-pile of older-brother handmedowns and outgrown jackets with no place to go) that you have to walk around it almost as soon as you step into the room, and I can't NOT step into the room because I haven't moved Ezra's clothes out of the closet in there and now the simple act of fetching my toddler a fresh t-shirt is causing nesting-related hysteria and freakouts because I need to move Ezra's clothes out of the closet in there and do something with that pile of baby stuff and get the other pile of baby stuff out of the attic and check in the basement too and we haven't bought a new car or maybe just a very narrow car seat and THEY WON'T LET YOU BRING THE BABY HOME WITHOUT A CAR SEAT, YOU KNOW, GASP WHEEZE PANIC.
But hey! At least I bought some closet organizers. They are still in the box, in a pile by our front door. But, much like the boxes of diapers and onesies upstairs, they at least represent SOME form of half-assed progress. I'm not exactly nesting, I'm piling.
I know we have time and all that. But then again, our to-do list looks pretty much exactly the same as it did back in October, when we sat down and wrote out everything we needed or wanted to buy and get done around the house "before the baby gets here." And look how great we did with all THAT time we had, back then, when it was a whole different calendar year and I was going to be pregnant for-evvvvv-errrrrr.
So far, we:
1) Purchased bunk beds, moved Noah and Ezra into the same room. Clothes, toys are yet to follow.
2) Replaced the carpet in the basement with pet-pee-resistant laminate. Well, that's only happening RIGHT NOW, like TODAY, so not exactly past tense yet. Ceiba registered her protest over the proceedings by peeing on my sneakers.
3) Talked about getting hand-me-down baby gear and accessories out the attic, because I don't know what's up there and what's usuable or remember what size batteries everything takes. Did not do.
4) Talked about purging basement of mountains of useless crap so we'd have space to keep all the not-useless hand-me-down clothing and baby accessories organized. Did not do.
5) Bought paint for both upstairs bathrooms. Did not paint.
6) Measured windows in children's rooms for new black-out blinds. Did not buy.
7) Talked about new bigger car vs. expensive narrower car seats approximately seven hundred million times. Did not decide.
8) Talked about how much that faulty toilet in the master bathroom bothers us when it randomly decides to start noisily filling up with water in the middle of the night. Did not fix, called it a shithole cocksucker.
9) Talked about turning small den off master bedroom into walk-in closet or grown-up office (instead of current Room Where Useless Crap Goes To Die Because The Basement Is Full) approximately eight hundred million times. Did not decide, bought an Xbox.
10) Played a lot of Xbox.
But beyond the semi-nesting bullshit, it really only just started to hit me that I am going to have three children. That I will be dealing with a high-maintenance newborn along with two existing high-maintenance small people, and whether or not I've purchased the exact recommended number of newborn-sized prefold diapers and covers won't make a lick of difference when it comes to the reality that I have no idea how to really make a family of that size work.
We go out to eat and I mentally size up the four-top table they seat us at and try to picture another high chair tacked on the end, then a booster, then another chair. I try to picture myself getting three kids out the door on time, on escorting Noah to summer camp with Ezra and a baby in tow, on driving one kid to one class and another to the other activity and how not to shortchange the third one because everything he wants to do overlaps with something else. What if this one has special needs, or a health problem, or is just difficult and colicky and blah blah neurotic cakes.
We joined our local YMCA this weekend -- we were planning to sign the boys up for swim lessons anyway and decided to just take the plunge and get a family membership. It's a pretty bare bones facility in dire need of a makeover (several of the restroom stalls are perma-flooded with a good inch of run-off from the showers), but for a family "our size" there's honestly no better value anywhere close by. I signed up for a prenatal swim class and am looking SUPER FORWARD to using the free childcare center in exchange for some alone time on the treadmill. And of course, all the free swim time we want. On Sunday we all crammed in a family changing room and took the kids to the nice heated indoor pool -- Jason always with one, me with the other, my belly in the middle quietly reminding me that oh my hell, even THIS is going to get so much more difficult in just a couple months.
The worst part of the Oh Shit Moment is that it makes it easy to focus on what you'll lose, and clouds your ability to see what you'll gain.
"What were we THINKING?" is my now near-daily lament to Jason. I'm joking, of course.
(Most of the time.)
"I have no idea," he always answers. "But it's going to be fine."
"I know it will," I always say back. "We'll figure it out. It's going to be crazy fun."
I believe that, too.
(Most of the time.)
I told you once before - don't worry, the third one drags himself up (English) raises himself (American)!
Posted by: golfinggrannie | February 22, 2011 at 11:07 AM
It hit me both times on the operating table when they handed my husband our boys.
We bought Radians for our boys and love them. I can fit between them in our backseat comfortably. And they are so narrow that you can wheel them down an airplane aisle. If you go with them, check out babycatalog.com -- I searched everywhere and they had the cheapest prices.
Posted by: Jen K. | February 22, 2011 at 11:13 AM
What is it with third babies? I was in my OB's office at 37 weeks when it hit me. We didn't even have the crib up yet. My OB laughed and said I was just inviting chaos into my life. I laughed and said chaos and I have a very good relationship. The crib was reassembled a few days before my third was born. She is 5 months old this week. We still have hand me downs in the basement waiting to be liberated. We are getting by and that is good enough. I still haven't taken all three kids swimming. I think I'm going to be a basket case at the swimming pool once the baby starts sitting up. My arms are not long enough to wrangle a baby, 4 year old and 7 year old. At least the 7 year old can pass the swim test and the 4 year old would rather not put her head under water despite 18 months of swim lessons.
Posted by: EmJay | February 22, 2011 at 11:14 AM
Don't worry, my parents did it! Newborn, two year old, six year old (and a 12 year old). It's so fun!!! (for the kids)I love my siblings and am so thankful my parents (brave souls that they are) decided to have four kids.
Posted by: MOlly | February 22, 2011 at 11:17 AM
Don't worry, my parents did it! Newborn, two year old, six year old (and a 12 year old). It's so fun!!! (for the kids)I love my siblings and am so thankful my parents (brave souls that they are) decided to have four kids.
Posted by: MOlly | February 22, 2011 at 11:17 AM
I know you're freaking out of sort of but....
SQUEEEEEE BAY-BEEEEEEEE!!!!
Posted by: Valerie | February 22, 2011 at 11:22 AM
second on the radian- coupled up with graco nautilus and britax booster for boys 6,4.15 mo.(in a car) you will have soooo much fun with the 3 boys, madness at times, but seriously soooo much fun!
Posted by: marie | February 22, 2011 at 11:25 AM
I still have that oh-shit moment almost daily and my third is 5. He has special needs and has made life complete chaos, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. Three is ten times harder than two, but we didn't become parents because we thought it would be *easy,* did we?
Posted by: Jess | February 22, 2011 at 11:32 AM
We had twins our second go-round so #'s 2 and 3 were simultaneous. I went from hauling my portable little three year old to all the places we'd always enjoyed (restaurants, estate sales, baseball games..) to basically never going anywhere except for specific, child-related activities for what felt like an eternity. When the twins went to Kindergarten, I breathed a sigh of relief (and cried a little bit too... of course I did!), made all kinds of plans to do me-stuff again and then promptly got pregnant. At least with kid #4, I feel like I can pretty much handle anything. We even go to restaurants. After we've saved up for a month. Seriously, Five Guys was $50 on Sunday.
Posted by: Dayna | February 22, 2011 at 11:36 AM
I have a suggestion for #5 on your list: these Combi seats are supposed to be really slim. http://www.elitecarseats.com/Combi-Coccoro.pro Evidently 3 can fit in a Corolla.
Posted by: Olivia | February 22, 2011 at 11:38 AM
It will be busy- but after those first 4-6 sleep deprived weeks, it moves abruptly to the awesome! Our third was a bit early. Not scary early, just "honey, go home and open that bin in the basement and run all those clothes through the laundry before I come home so this baby has something to wear" early. Also - he had to go to Target by himself and buy new car seat after deciding that the one in the basement would just not do.
YOu know what? - worked out fine!
Busy, yes, but so, so good.
Posted by: elsimom | February 22, 2011 at 11:38 AM
Oops, I meant #7 on the list.
Posted by: Olivia | February 22, 2011 at 11:41 AM
Amy--if you want to cross an item off your list quickly, I bet for #8 that your toilet just needs a new flapper (rubber part that seals the hold in the tank). You can get one for under $5 at any hardware store and install it in 3 minutes. No hardware required, just turn off the water, flush to empty the tank, then it just slips on. I put my cocksucker toilet in its place doing this just last week. Good luck with everything else!
Posted by: andrea | February 22, 2011 at 11:48 AM
Amy--if you want to cross an item off your list quickly, I bet for #8 that your toilet just needs a new flapper (rubber part that seals the hole in the tank). You can get one for under $5 at any hardware store and install it in 3 minutes. No hardware required, just turn off the water, flush to empty the tank, then it just slips on. I put my cocksucker toilet in its place doing this just last week. Good luck with everything else!
Posted by: andrea | February 22, 2011 at 11:48 AM
"hole" not "hold". doh.
Posted by: andrea | February 22, 2011 at 11:49 AM
HAAA! I seriously thought I was the only one who had the Oh Shit Moment. Mine was two days before my kid arrived. I cried for the entire weekend - "What have I DONNNNNNEEE!!??!" Uh, a little too late for that, kid. Sigh.
Posted by: Becky | February 22, 2011 at 11:51 AM
How did you get in my house and take a picture of the pile of crap in our baby's room without me seeing you?!
I've been having the same thoughts about going from one kid to two. Our older daughter was 6.5 when the baby was born so it's been easier in many ways but also a much bigger adjustment, since A has been potty-trained & putting herself to sleep for years now. Thanks for reminding me that while we lose some things, we're gaining even more.
Posted by: bethany actually | February 22, 2011 at 12:02 PM
I am so sending this to my husband, as he doesn't quite understand my hysteria...though I'm only TWO DAYS AWAY from the oh-dear-gawd-they-won't-stop-it-if-I-go-into-labor-now turning point of 36 weeks. I just about manage to wash dishes and keep the toddler clean and dressed most days while ignoring the loooong lists of home and work stuff still needing serious attention. GAH!!!
Posted by: Jamie B. | February 22, 2011 at 12:17 PM
It is going to be crazy fun and you will soon discover that you are one parent short for every activity you go out to do as a family, especially when they are all younger. But one day in the future you'll be out to dinner, sitting at a five-top table, wondering how you and Jason managed to raise the coolest, most amazing three kids the world ever did see. I promise.
Posted by: Procrastamom | February 22, 2011 at 12:34 PM
I had these exact same feelings before our #3 arrived. (I think every mother does!) EVERY new baby--despite the number-- creates a new routine, a new "normal". It will take some adjustments, but it will happen. Don't sweat it. You will do great! My #3 is now a year old, and we are contemplating a #4!!! So clearly, it wasn't THAT bad! ;)
Savor the moments-- they are fleeting!
Posted by: Jenn H | February 22, 2011 at 12:34 PM
I am so excited for you guys! I mean, yes, Jesus Christ, you will totally be outnumbered, but it's so goddamn exciting. My OH and I barely coped with our friend's two-year-old and there were two of us. But still, it will be fine and SO amazing! Xx
Posted by: Starrynite | February 22, 2011 at 12:37 PM
I managed to squeeze the infant seat, a 5-point harness seat and a booster in the back of Suburu. I didn't buy the van until no. 4. So you *could* wait for the next baby. ;-)
Also, my no. 3 baby was the easiest one on earth. It was seamless. Watch out for no. 4, though.
Posted by: Sue @ Laundry for Six | February 22, 2011 at 12:38 PM
I'm 22 weeks along with our fourth (boy). Last night I commented to my husband that the baby's kicks are getting nice and strong, especially when I'm trying to rest, the little booger, and he said, "Oh wow, we're having a baby. We're gonna have four kids."
I said, "Is it finally sinking in?" He said, "Uh...yeah."
Then he proceeded to make frantic headway on a large home improvement project that has been languishing. Men nest in their own ways, I think.
Posted by: Karen | February 22, 2011 at 12:46 PM
I'm 22 weeks along with our fourth (boy). Last night I commented to my husband that the baby's kicks are getting nice and strong, especially when I'm trying to rest, the little booger, and he said, "Oh wow, we're having a baby. We're gonna have four kids."
I said, "Is it finally sinking in?" He said, "Uh...yeah."
Then he proceeded to make frantic headway on a large home improvement project that has been languishing. Men nest in their own ways, I think.
Posted by: Karen | February 22, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Awww, Amy - this is so exciting! My sister is just a few weeks ahead of you, pregnant with her first, and I keep sending her random texts saying, "you know, a BABY's going to come out of there." Ha! I've been following your blog(s) since before Noah was born, and I have read and re-read your archives and all that fun stuff (I have a really boring desk job, and you have entertained and educated me for endless hours and for that I will always be grateful. And totally feel like we are best friends.) Anywho, I just found out yesterday that I am 5 weeks along myself and I am just over the moon. Thanks for making me *feel* so prepared for what I am about to embark upon!
Posted by: Julie | February 22, 2011 at 01:02 PM
It's like you're in my head. And I forwarded this post to my husband so he can understand what's going on in my head.
I am due with our first on April 17. Our current lease is up April 30. We are trying to buy our first house, and have been for over a year. (We are awfully picky.)
We currently rent a 2 bdrm townhouse, and ALL our family lives at least a 90-minute drive away. So anyone coming over to "help with the baby" would need a place to sleep.
I finally set up our pack-n-play in our living room this past weekend, in an attempt to "get ready." Then I pitched a fit when my husband told me that, now that we know how to put it together, we could take it back down to the basement and bring it back up when we need it. DOESN'T HE REALIZE THERE'S SO MUCH OTHER STUFF TO GET READY!??!!? AND I JUST GOT THIS ONE THING READY!!!! AND JUST LEAVE IT THERE... BECAUSE NOW IT'S READY!!!!!
So trade your 2 kids for my in-flux housing situation... and it's basically the same neurosis. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in the crazy. :)
Posted by: beekeebear | February 22, 2011 at 01:05 PM
I have three boys, now ages 9, 6 and 5. Pleasepleaseplease just know: IT DOES GET BETTER. (But yes, it does suck those first few years - brace yourself.)
Posted by: Sarahviz | February 22, 2011 at 01:06 PM
I'm laughing at that Radian website because, come on.
"The Radian car seat was designed to fit your lifestyle today, not the over-priced, over-sized excess of yesterday."
Now, here's our $299 leather booster!
Heh.
Posted by: Tracy | February 22, 2011 at 01:06 PM
Going from a family of 4 to a family of 5 sent me into a brief panic on the way to the hospital. Our 2nd and 3rd boys are so close in age that I didn't have to do much to prepare for 3's arrival, so the drive to the hospital was my big reality check. My boys are 7, 2 and 9 months now. Our hands are really full, but it is loads of fun and we just go with the flow.
Posted by: Jacqueline | February 22, 2011 at 01:07 PM
Amen to that. My Baby3 is being evicted in a scant two weeks (or, possibly today, depending on what the high risk doc says), and I'm still barely wrapping my head around the fact that we will be a family of FIVE. HOLY CRAP.
Good thing my mom was here this week. The baby's room is actually sort of ready instead of being a repository for various piles of crap.
Posted by: Goddess in Progress | February 22, 2011 at 01:28 PM
I totally understand this... at 32 weeks waiting for #2... The trip to L&D with contractions really made things hit home. I need to put my list together :)
Posted by: Lisa | February 22, 2011 at 01:28 PM
a) the third baby is always the awesomest; third time's the charm, even if you can't believe right now that he could be more awesome than the first two. That will more than make up for all the chaos that's soon to erupt.
b) don't you have a super-organized, busybody friend/relative (don't we all have one of those)? Hopefully she will read this post and volunteer to come over and work on your closets/storage/etc. If not, ask her! People like that LOVE projects like this--and the feeling that they are all that's standing between you and a starring role on Hoarders.
Posted by: Leah | February 22, 2011 at 01:34 PM
it'll be okay! really! i have 3 boys, and you just allow a lot of extra time to get anywhere that first year.... and after that 3 doesn't seem like that much more than 2. or, you get used to it. not sure. you'll be great!
Posted by: HolyMama! | February 22, 2011 at 01:39 PM
it'll be okay! really! i have 3 boys, and you just allow a lot of extra time to get anywhere that first year.... and after that 3 doesn't seem like that much more than 2. or, you get used to it. not sure. you'll be great!
Posted by: HolyMama! | February 22, 2011 at 01:39 PM
it'll be okay! really! i have 3 boys, and you just allow a lot of extra time to get anywhere that first year.... and after that 3 doesn't seem like that much more than 2. or, you get used to it. not sure. you'll be great!
Posted by: HolyMama! | February 22, 2011 at 01:39 PM
Huge thumbs on the Y daycare. I absolutely love having that. Sad to say you probably won't need to worry about the restaurant seating for awhile...I never went anywhere! I had my third 14 months after I had twins and I have to admit it was kind of awful. But now with 5-year-old twins and a 4-year-old it is so much better. The five of us went to Hershey Park last summer and lasted 9 hours! Just the five of us! It was so awesome-not only the day, but also the realization that we could do things like that as a family. Finally.
Posted by: Megan | February 22, 2011 at 01:39 PM
I just had my third. Older two are 5.5 and nearly 4, both girls. The transition to 3 was SO MUCH EASIER than the transition to 2, because the older two have each other to play with while you're dealing with baby. When it was the transition from one to two, the older one was all alone (for the first time) while I was dealing with baby. It has actually made my girls closer friends.
You've got this, you'll be fine.
If there's any way you can afford to, get a van with auto-sliding doors. Trust me! MUCH easier to get everyone in and out of the car when your older kids can do it (almost entirely) independently. My biggest gets in the "way back" and buckles up, my middle gets in her seat, and I put the baby in his bucket holder, then I go around and buckle in the middle, and we go. It's not any harder than it was before, just more stuff to carry.
Also, a backpack-as-diaper-bag leaves hands freer to deal with little people.
You can hold your older two kids' hands in one hand and hold your baby in the other arm.
You'll see. Piece of cake.
Posted by: Amy | February 22, 2011 at 01:42 PM
In my experience, going from 1-2 kids was MUCH harder than going from 2-3. Best wishes!
Posted by: cs | February 22, 2011 at 01:47 PM
Wow, I can't imagine! We are just on our first and possibly only one, but with 4 inside dogs, 2 garage-dwelling cats, and 1 stray who we feed, it will be a lot of changes. We are kind of like you, with the piles and piles of baby stuff, no place to put stuff, making lists and putting them off. But I got put off work today for high BP, and now it's serious.
Posted by: Kimm | February 22, 2011 at 01:48 PM
I'm 10 weeks pregant with my first and have yet to grasp that I will have a baby. I'm ignoring the fact that we do not have a room for the baby, and where will the crib go and clothes? Can't they just stay in the laundry basket until the kids like 5? or 6? because we do not have a closet in our house that is not occupied with out stuff. holy crap.
Posted by: mandi | February 22, 2011 at 01:58 PM
I'm 10 weeks pregant with my first and have yet to grasp that I will have a baby. I'm ignoring the fact that we do not have a room for the baby, and where will the crib go and clothes? Can't they just stay in the laundry basket until the kids like 5? or 6? because we do not have a closet in our house that is not occupied with out stuff. holy crap.
Posted by: mandi | February 22, 2011 at 01:58 PM
2 boys here (8 and nearly 14) and just bought a brand new, beautiful van--my second. I'll drive something different when the youngest goes off to college. These things are designed for moms and kids and carpooling. Good luck with the all of the preparations!!
Posted by: Joy | February 22, 2011 at 01:59 PM
We just had our fourth and I had 'oh shit' pretty bad at one point.
Posted by: maggie may | February 22, 2011 at 02:04 PM
We just had our fourth and I had 'oh shit' pretty bad at one point.
Posted by: maggie may | February 22, 2011 at 02:04 PM
We just had our fourth and I had 'oh shit' pretty bad at one point.
Posted by: maggie may | February 22, 2011 at 02:04 PM
We just had our fourth and I had 'oh shit' pretty bad at one point.
Posted by: maggie may | February 22, 2011 at 02:04 PM
We just had our fourth and I had 'oh shit' pretty bad at one point.
Posted by: maggie may | February 22, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Don't worry Amy! I have three boys. They are very similar in age to your 3 (oldest is 6 and in kindergarten, middle is 4 and will start VPK in the fall, and baby is 8 months now). I, too, freaked out mightily and was scared for pretty much my entire pregnancy. But you just sort of... adapt. It gets progressively easier with each one you add to the mix. You are more experienced, you know the way you like to do things, you just streamline your processes. Also! The car thing - I had a Ford Taurus when I started out and the hospital actually GAVE me a baby car seat (when they came to do the birth certificate they asked if I would like a car seat... uh, duh?) I made it work with the baby on one side, 4 year old on the other and 6 year old in the middle until they started messing with the baby too much (booster seats! much cheaper than those sunshine thingies! change the booster seats!) But now I finally did break down and get a minivan, gently used (its a 2007, had about 60K miles when I bought it but it has a DVD player, WIN) once the baby gets here the boys will be so fascinated with him they will spend a ton of time interacting with him and entertaining themselves. The only thing that was hard for me was breastfeeding because I just couldn't be tied to the couch like that and I wasn't good enough to move around while I did it so I ended up switching to formula after a couple of months. You can't win 'em all.
Posted by: Erika | February 22, 2011 at 02:10 PM
Hey Amy! No babies here, but for what it's worth, my awesome best friend uses that same carseat for her three little ones (ages 4, 3 & 11mo), and loves it. They are a one-car family, and that car is a Honda Civic. They have three of those seats in the backseat of a Civic, and it works beautifully. My sister is a car-seat-safety-guru and uses that seat for her 13-mo because it's super safe. They've got a Ford Explorer and only one kid (aka all the room in the world) and love it too.
Posted by: Meghan | February 22, 2011 at 02:22 PM
I love the photo of the baby stuff. My brother and sister-in-law's nursery just had cots and a couple of bits of furniture for their twins at first, but when I was there last, suddenly the room was full of exciting things like blankets and little itty-bitty sleepsuits.
Posted by: Sarah | February 22, 2011 at 02:28 PM
I have a Radian 65 car seat in need of a good home and I live @ baltimore, so not too far from you. I just sent you an email, but I have a knack for writing subject lines that look like spam, so I just wanted to give you a heads up. :)
Posted by: eve | February 22, 2011 at 02:34 PM
Honestly, I didn't have that "oh shit" moment with my first until I actually saw him born and thought, for a split second, "holy shit, that's a human baby! wtf!" and then had to remind myself that, yes, I kind of knew about this ahead of time. Now I'm still fully in la-dee-da pregnant forever land with #2, so you are clearly VERY prepared. Or at least preparing well to be prepared. It's going to be awesome!
Posted by: Kate | February 22, 2011 at 02:37 PM
My third baby turned out to be surprise twins, leaving me with four under 3.5y when they were born. Believe me when I say that you'll have chaotic moments but will get into a rhythm that works. You just do what you have to do.
Regarding the car, I highly recommend the bigger car vs. the smaller seats. The extra personal space for everyone makes riding much less stressful, and when life is going to be stressful...reduce the stress where you can.
Best of luck as you prepare for your new baby!
Posted by: Jennifer | February 22, 2011 at 02:41 PM
You'll be just fine! Everyone I know who has three kids says the third kid is invariably easy-going. It WILL be crazy fun!
Posted by: Parsing Nonsense | February 22, 2011 at 02:48 PM
I grew up at the YMCA you're talking about and it desperately needs a remodel. It is also an incredibly enjoyable place to be and I cherish every camp I attended. I enjoyed it so much I worked there on an off for years, even after college I came back and taught a bit just to be 'home'.
Posted by: Christina | February 22, 2011 at 03:01 PM
Um, you have seen the show, Hoarders, right? ;)
Posted by: Donna P | February 22, 2011 at 03:15 PM
I'm due a week and a half after you are with my second and the oh shit moment has yet to strike. In fact I haven't even purchased a single onsie, much less PILING!
But I do look forward to it.
Stay strong!
Posted by: Amira | February 22, 2011 at 03:24 PM
I'm due a week and a half after you are with my second and the oh shit moment has yet to strike. In fact I haven't even purchased a single onsie, much less PILING!
But I do look forward to it.
Stay strong!
Posted by: Amira | February 22, 2011 at 03:24 PM
My 3rd boy arrived just 3 weeks ago (our families are v. similar - my oldest is in Kindergarten and my middle turned 2 in December) and I must say, so far so good! It's only been 3 weeks, but I can see how going from 2 to 3 is easier than 1 to 2 (for one thing, your middle child has never been an only child and will be more accepting of the new baby than the oldest was). I even managed to take 3 kids to both Pediatrician and Dentist appointments yesterday..by myself...amazing! You will be fine and the feeling of being blessed with another little man is beyond words!
Posted by: DKM | February 22, 2011 at 03:28 PM
I'm 25 weeks with my 4th. My third is only a year old. Yay?
But the third? Honestly? Was a really easy transition. Maybe because I'd done it before. Maybe because I didn't have time or energy to be such an OCD asshole, but it was easier.
Now? With the 4th? I'm all "eh. I'm sure we have a dresser drawer around here somewhere we can stick her in."
Posted by: Jess | February 22, 2011 at 03:31 PM
We debated a 3rd child for forever (years!) and I can honestly say she slid seamlessly into our lives. There was a time about a week ago when all 5 of us went to an indoor play place together and I commented to my husband that I couldn't remember the last time we all went somewhere together. It had literally been weeks. We do a lot of dividing and conquering!
Can I comment on the car seat issue? We have a minivan as our family car (love ours and I was a card-carrying minivan hater until kid 2 came along) but a couple of days a week it is necessary for one parent to transport all 3 kids (8, 6 & 16 mo) to school/daycare in our sedan. I had read many car seat message board posts about people fitting 3 car seats in the back of a Civic or Corolla, so I figured we would have no trouble with our Accord. Car seats, yes; booster seats, no way! And my older ones were both in boosters. We went to the baby store and tried all configurations of seats and could. not. make. them. fit. The problem is getting the seat belt fastened. So, I wanted to earn you that the radians may work while the kids are in harnessed seats, think about how boosters will work when the time comes.
Good luck checking things off your list!
Posted by: Jen | February 22, 2011 at 03:44 PM
We debated a 3rd child for forever (years!) and I can honestly say she slid seamlessly into our lives. There was a time about a week ago when all 5 of us went to an indoor play place together and I commented to my husband that I couldn't remember the last time we all went somewhere together. It had literally been weeks. We do a lot of dividing and conquering!
Can I comment on the car seat issue? We have a minivan as our family car (love ours and I was a card-carrying minivan hater until kid 2 came along) but a couple of days a week it is necessary for one parent to transport all 3 kids (8, 6 & 16 mo) to school/daycare in our sedan. I had read many car seat message board posts about people fitting 3 car seats in the back of a Civic or Corolla, so I figured we would have no trouble with our Accord. Car seats, yes; booster seats, no way! And my older ones were both in boosters. We went to the baby store and tried all configurations of seats and could. not. make. them. fit. The problem is getting the seat belt fastened. So, I wanted to earn you that the radians may work while the kids are in harnessed seats, think about how boosters will work when the time comes.
Good luck checking things off your list!
Posted by: Jen | February 22, 2011 at 03:44 PM
Well thank Baby Jesus that my "Oh Shit" happened when I was at the hospital confirming that my water broke. I had enough crazy without weeks of that!
Posted by: Colleen | February 22, 2011 at 03:54 PM
Well thank Baby Jesus that my "Oh Shit" happened when I was at the hospital confirming that my water broke. I had enough crazy without weeks of that!
Posted by: Colleen | February 22, 2011 at 03:54 PM
Re #7. Get a minivan. I know, I know. It is not cool. It is the elastic stretch pants of vehicles, that lets the world know you have kind of given up on cool. But! With three kids, you really need it. Think of all the shit that's not gonna fit in your trunk when you travel with three.
Also, you can change a helluva diaper in a minivan.
Posted by: anne nahm | February 22, 2011 at 03:57 PM
Thank you so much for this post. I am 29 weeks pregnant with baby #2 (gender=surprise=what were we thinking), and it just hit me over the weekend that I guess I need to prepare for having a newborn again. I'm glad to know that we're not the only ones who are shifting rooms piece by piece. We set up the bed but haven't moved the closet or the toys or anything. Holy Crap!
Posted by: Kathryn | February 22, 2011 at 04:09 PM
I don't know about big fun or whatever, but it will be fine. Sometimes it's crazy with three but it's doable. Look at this way - you are already carrying that baby around NOW! When the baby is actually born, you won't be pregnant anymore and it will be easier to get around.
Posted by: Joanne | February 22, 2011 at 04:18 PM
I don't know about big fun or whatever, but it will be fine. Sometimes it's crazy with three but it's doable. Look at this way - you are already carrying that baby around NOW! When the baby is actually born, you won't be pregnant anymore and it will be easier to get around.
Posted by: Joanne | February 22, 2011 at 04:18 PM
I have three too, and what it comes down to is that I have given up on certain things. Like a clean kitchen floor, and knowing exactly what my kids have in their dressers and what I need to buy for them. (Seriously, the clothing purging projects are never-ending here, and I hate that chore more than any other.) The fun part about three is that with the addition of just one or two more people, we've got a party! You'll be fine, it's all good ;^)
Posted by: Amy | February 22, 2011 at 04:24 PM
I'm afraid this is going to sound judgy no matter how I say it, but honestly I'm not judging, this is a genuine question. I'm having a hard time understanding all of the stuff that you've purchased. I understand the new tiny diapers, because if I'm remembering right, you started cloth diapers after Ezra was past the newborn stage. But I'm not understanding the rest of the stuff, especially since it's another boy. Not that you have to explain yourself to anyone, but I'm really curious about your philosophy and thought process.
I have two girls exactly Noah and Ezra's ages, and I was thrilled when I found out the second one was a girl. For many reasons, but high on the list was that I wouldn't have to buy anything since we already had all the baby stuff, girl stuff specifically. Similarly, when I contemplate possibly having another one in the next year or two, I keep thinking that either boy or girl would be great, but that the major bonus of yet another girl would be, again, not having to buy anything, we've got all the girl baby stuff!
The one thing that just came to mind is that maybe Noah and Ezra were born in the same season, and this one is the opposite time of year? I don't remember when N and E's birthdays are. An opposite season baby would require a bunch of things in different sizes, I understand.
Just wondering. I've been feeling like we'd have everything covered if we have another baby (other than possibly a bigger car, I'm with you on that one), and I'm curious about your thought process on needing new baby things. i.e. Is there something I'm not considering when I think about another baby?
Posted by: Kara | February 22, 2011 at 04:24 PM
We have 6 Sunshine Kids carseats (that replaced Britax seats). Costly! But they're great. Easy for a toddler like Ezra to climb into & easier for kids to latch. My almost-4 year old can do hers fine. My 2 year old can climb in fine. They are narrower. We have 3 across the back of our old Toyota Camry.
In our Honda pilot, we have our 11 month old in a rear-facing Britax, next to a Radian in the middle, then our almost-4 year old in the back sea in a Britax. Oh, and in the Camry, we had a Baby Trend infant carrier between the two Radians and it fit fine.
Posted by: bessa | February 22, 2011 at 04:52 PM
23 weeks along with my first here. I haven't had any bouts of nesting just yet. And this from someone who creates a packing list in Excel for a weekend trip. I just can't get all into nesting when all my body wants to do is nap. Mmmm...napping.
Posted by: Kailee | February 22, 2011 at 05:00 PM
We are at 2 kids. Number 2 just turned 1 and Number 1 just turned 4. Thinking about #3 in the near future 6 months or so. Your post both frightens and relieves me. :)
Posted by: Nicole | February 22, 2011 at 05:00 PM
We found a Mazda MPV on Craigslist when we were expecting our third boy. (They don't make them anymore new) Here's why its great:
1. It's shorter than the average minivan so easy to park in the city.
2. We took out a captain's chair so there was enough room for me to sit back there with them and change their clothes/diapers, nurse the baby, read to them or whatever. In those early days sometimes you just need a safe haven for everyone to hang out in in a pinch.
3. Cheap and reliable.
4. POWER REMOTE DOORS
Posted by: thisisrobin | February 22, 2011 at 05:04 PM
My mom had 3 under 3 and watched my cousin (who was the same age as her youngest child) every day while working from home. Meanwhile my dad was working out of state from the time I was born (I was the oldest) till I was about 12 or 13. My mom is the most scatter-brained, un-organized person I know. My point? If my mom could essentially raise 4 kids on her own you and jason totally got this.
Posted by: Natalie | February 22, 2011 at 05:07 PM
Ack! Fix that toilet or your water bill will go through the roof.
Yes, I do believe that you are in for a crazy house full of fun. Boys!
Posted by: Suzy Q | February 22, 2011 at 05:10 PM
Ack! Fix that toilet or your water bill will go through the roof.
Yes, I do believe that you are in for a crazy house full of fun. Boys!
Posted by: Suzy Q | February 22, 2011 at 05:10 PM
I am going through the same thing except with number 1. And I have yet to get any real necessities.
Posted by: pammeey | February 22, 2011 at 05:51 PM
I had 4 kids, the first 3 spaced almost exactly the same as yours, and honestly, I had the hardest time adjusting to the second baby. Amy, you're a pro already. Baby Three will take some adjustment, but it won't be as scary as it seems.
Posted by: Linda | February 22, 2011 at 06:31 PM
At least you've started nesting! I haven't done ANY THING to prepare. No diapers, no clothes pulled out of the attic, no crib set up, NOTHING. And this fetal intruder could come out of me in 9-12 weeks! Aggghhhhhh!!!!! I'm so not ready for this.
Posted by: victoria winters | February 22, 2011 at 07:31 PM
Sunshine kids radian! order them online. I can fit three across in my car. i bought one a few months ago for $140 with free shipping.
they are super high quality, safe, metal reinforced, and go up to 50 or 60 lbs and 50 inches. great for my 4 1/2 yr old. you can use it rear facing too, from 5 lbs and up.
Posted by: katie | February 22, 2011 at 08:34 PM
I was one of three (middle, with two brothers) and I never felt short-changed, extra chair on one end of the table or not. I also felt like our family was the "right" size because that's how many seats are in a car. (This was before you had to keep kids in carseats until they could read chapter books. Sigh.) My parents also did not need a minivan. Admittedly, none of us played sports, but we also drove to Florida from Pennsylvania on the regular. We did okay in a Camry.
I think you're going to have a lot of fun. And Ezra is going to be an awesome middle child. I can tell.
Posted by: Sarah | February 22, 2011 at 08:45 PM
Going from one to two is much harder than two to three..... at least you are used to multitasking. And # 3 is usually pretty laid back.
Posted by: Laura in Michigan | February 22, 2011 at 09:15 PM
Going from one to two is much harder than two to three..... at least you are used to multitasking. And # 3 is usually pretty laid back.
Posted by: Laura in Michigan | February 22, 2011 at 09:15 PM
For what it's worth, we bought the expensive narrow car seats and then bought a minivan anyway. We put two in the third row and one in the second row and that way I can move between the seats and sit next to whoever needs me. Our girls are all the same age, and none are walking yet, and we get out the door just fine.
Posted by: Elise | February 22, 2011 at 10:27 PM
I want to know what you think about the Baby Pod... Have you used one before? Know someone who did? Just curious...
Posted by: kari weber | February 22, 2011 at 10:54 PM
I have 3, ages 7, 4, and 14 mos. I found the first few weeks a bit nutty but then we got in a nice groove that lasted til the baby turned 1 and could walk. Now I find I'm readjusting to an all new level of chaos--but oh, it's fun!
If it makes you feel any better, after 2 years of looking we still haven't managed to buy a bigger house. The older 2 (girls) share a room and the baby has his crib in my home office. C'est la vie!
Posted by: Carla Hinkle | February 22, 2011 at 11:42 PM
Love, love the radian. Best seat ever. Baggage handlers can't even destroy them. It was recommended to me by a fireman at a car seat check clinic, who was doing everything he could to make a cocorro stable, but he couldn't. In fact, it kinda freaked him out that I'd let my child ride around in a cocorro. Do whatever you want about the car, but still get the radians.
Posted by: Jennifer | February 22, 2011 at 11:52 PM
good luck!
i wanted to tell you that all the reviews for the radian carseat are that they are not good for boys, as the buckle lays on their boy parts in not a pleasant way! just thought i would give you the heads up, so you might want that bigger car!
Posted by: liz | February 23, 2011 at 12:17 AM
Radian's are awesome.
2 Radians + 1 BabyTrend Flex-Loc fit in the back seat of my Hyundai Accent.
Posted by: Lauren | February 23, 2011 at 11:45 AM
I used to read your blog, years ago....I remember when you couldn't get pregnant and now I've stumbled back and you are on your third child, how wonderful. I do remember the birth of both your boys...I used to work in an office and had tons of time to follow you. I remember always having great emotions reading your blog, it was a guilty pleasure for me. Then I grew up and got a real job..no more computer. I'm so glad I checked in tonight, I will be back more often and once again indulge in this guilty pleasure. Best of Luck with the baby...I'm gonna spend the next week catching up on what I've missed.
Posted by: Dianne Murphy | February 25, 2011 at 01:03 AM
So do the black out blinds work like you would put a blanket over a parrot cage? Because then I would say they're top priority.
Can you tell I don't have a child yet? How exciting for you!
Posted by: Lindsay | February 25, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Going to Zone Defense after having it man to man for awhile can be hard. You can do it though. Its all in the communication. Oh and big ups for the Y membership. We've had one for years and I actually teach there now. FREE childcare will be oh so lovely; just factor in the new germs you'll have to get used to/over. U rock, btw!
Posted by: Jaders | February 25, 2011 at 09:20 PM
1) new babies are always an adjustment, but I found adding the third easier than adding the second. As much as we want to, we can't stop talking about a fourth, which is just insane.
2) Sunshine radians are the best thing to ever happen to me. The buckles are easy enough for my five-year-old-with-fine-motor-issues to do BY HIMSELF which is life-altering when you have three kids. Cheaper than a Britax and way better (also less strap tangling)
3) We have a mini-van and an Accord, but have found that we actually prefer having three across in a smaller car at this stage (rather than throwing the five-year-old in the back) - they are all still within reach for passing out snacks and whatnot.
Posted by: Beth | February 26, 2011 at 01:48 PM