poor kid. I grew up with selective mutism (basically I became mute in certain situations, especially when I needed to defend myself) and it sucks. But he's a bright boy and he'll find ways around it.

Ohhhh, "naughty voice" breaks my heart. You're a smart, funny, awesome kid, Noah, and the Internet is proud of you. Your mom's ok too, I guess. :)

Just a quick story:

I am 39 years old, and suffer from severe migrains. I have to take daily medicine for it, and have it pretty much under control.

About 2 years ago, my doctor changed my meds to a drug called Topamax. Within about 3 weeks, I started to experience a side effect called "Poor Word Choice". This side effect caused me to not be able to remember words. I knew that there was a word.... I knew that I knew the word.... I just couldn't "find" it.

I would be in the middle of a sentence: "I'm going to go out side and walk the...." I wouldn't be able to remember the word "dog".

This is an actual example.

I feel for Noah. I know how it is.

Give him a hug from me.

I am an adult and I swear I have this. I feel like I'm bright, but in the workplace this has gotten me into sticky situations. I can "see" what I want to say, but it takes me a while to get the right word out of my mouth. It's very frustrating. Noah will do great with your love and support.

First, poor Noah! Everyone does this occasionally and knows how frustrating it is!

But my first thought when reading this was "OMG! This sounds like Jessica!"

I always figured maybe her brain was going too fast for her mouth. Like Noah, she'll either get frustrated and say "forget it" and then won't try to finish. Or she does what my mom calls "scatting" (Like jazz singers do). She puts in extra (sometimes nonsense) words while she's trying to figure out what she's trying to say! Wow. I'm going to have to look this up now!

when i first started reading this post i was thinking omg i do that all the time!! and i use filler words etc only to realize (after it too late) that i used the wrong word or whatever and I was going to joke about it but totally not appropriate since you are talking about your son's disorder and THEN you wrote that you do it too and I was like ok then I'm not crazy. Everyone does it. And i'm going to do it again here but it's (not sad but whatever THAT word is) that your son knows he does it and gets super frustrated. yes noah we all do it, i feel for him. it's hard to see little kids grow up and have to deal with stupid stuff like this...

Haha.. oh words. Oh words while pregnant. I was talking to my husband in the car the other day and I totally failed to come up with some word like, soap or something stupid.

After trying, and failing, I was like, Babe! I don't know the word! I'm so tired of this goddamn aphemia! Or lethologica! Whatever!

Really, self? Really?!

I know what you mean about labeling everything a "disorder". I am a speech-language pathologist (or I was in a former life...now I am a SAHM) and I remember the whole testing process and coming up with a label for something was sometimes not very black and white. For me, if a child tested within the average range in several areas, but scored statistically below the average range in just one subtest, I might say he had a "weakness" that that area. OR if the child clearly had an "expressive language disorder" which was based on more than one subtest as well as the overall-score well below the average range, I would say the child had an expressive language disorder characterized by difficulties in the following areas: x, y, z. Some of the labeling of these disorders is sort of up to the clinician. It's just a way of explaining what the child has trouble with if there isn't one overall diagnosis that explains it all. I have a horrible time with word retrieval, by the way!! I mean, I think you might even call it a disorder, and look at me, I have a Master's Degree!

Even though I have never met you or your husband, I'm merely a follower of your blog, I do know how fortunate your kids are to have the two of you as parents.

Oh, little guy, I wish I could help.

My cousin consistenly pulls a few words out of the "word bank" wrong - and has for YEARS. The funniest being "marshmallow" instead of "mushroom" - she of course doesn't think this is funny at ALL.

I have a word retrieval disorder. It's not unlike the tip of the tongue effect, but it's CONSTANT. I forget all words, words as simple as chair. I tend to describe what I mean when I cannot remember the word. Fortunately, it doesn't really translate to writing. I am a great writer, a graduate student even, but I am a poor verbal communicator. I've come to accept it, though it sucks. Also, yes, fill in the blank was IMPOSSIBLE for me without a word list. I tended to search my tests to find the word I wanted if a list was not available.

I can only imagine how frustrating all this can be to such a bright and insightful little boy. You're an amazing kid, Noah. Hang in there!

38 years old and I do it, too :) Mine is also a side effect from medication, not Topamax. I've learned to laugh at mine because I substitute words all the time. Mine make sense in a way, while SO not the right word. For instance:

"I need to take the clothes out of the oven." (meaning dryer) It's hot and it dries things....The dryer is the clothes oven. :)

I, too, take Topamax, and have difficulty with word retrieval. I can't imagine being Noah's age, though, and not understanding why. As a teacher, thank you for this glimpse into many of my students who also struggle with this. I don't know why, but until now I've never made the connection. Perhaps in the future I can explain to my fellow teachers what it really means and how frustrating it can be.

I honestly didn't know that replacing a word fell into this same category. Strangely enough, mine most often manifests itself when I'm typing. I know what I want to write and what keys to use, but for whatever reason my fingers keep typing a different word. I never understood why.

For me, all of this is a small price to pay so that I'm not suffering chronic and severe migraines. It is annoying, but I've learned, as Noah is, to compensate.

Oh that makes my heart hurt. For my daughter, for myself. My daughter is on the spectrum... and though becoming verbal - often can't find the words or doesn't yet have the words. I, because of medication... have lost many, often ones that were RIGHT THERE. And it's frustrating.... but you know? It gives you empathy.

uh ! uh! I will soon be a mother and....
I still can't picture myself in all this!! :)

Your reaction was spot on, in my opinion. Often you may feel like you are floundering in all of this but I think you guys are doing a wonderful job. Noah is lucky to have you.

Long time reader, first time commenter. Hi!

So this:

"Then he balled up his fist and started punching himself in the throat.

Holy shit, I thought. Stop!"

My son (7 now, 6 at the time) did this a lot too. Not the throat, but the same general self physical abuse. Not too long after that, I got him into therapy (there is a bit more to it than that) and he was diagnosed with ADHD. And your son, as you know, was just diagnosed with ADHD. Anyway, from what I've read, the whole self hitting thing can be common for kids with ADHD. So well... just thought you should know.

Oh, and while alarming, in itself it isn't too very much to worry about. As he learns skills to sort through his thoughts and feelings and whatnot, it'll stop. And well, those skills are coming.

It's not so unlike a 2 year old who bangs his head against a table or wall when upset. (Same son did that too.) It's a coping mechanism. That's all. And it's eventually outgrown.

Do mention it to his team, but don't stress over it too much. Lord knows you have enough on your plate.

Noah and I have a frighteningly similar set of mental deals happening. It makes me happy that he's getting so much help from so many people at school.

The fancy name for this particular one is "lethologica". It is my favourite word.

By the way, even with chronic, unrelenting "WHATS THAT WORD?" I managed to get a degree in linguistics and get certified to translate 5 languages. :) It's frustrating, but something that quickly becomes a stupid quirk once you can conquer more grammar and vocabulary. And maybe google.

Working with kids has shown me that all kids, even the ones without a "label" for it, have such a hard time finding the right words to describe what they want to say. I know how frustrated I get and I've had 26 years of experience!

As soon as I started to read this my right hand shot up and I started flapping it around, as I do constantly. Would you go wash the...um,thing you drive around in...CAR! I've always done it. My kids and husband shout out clues now..we make it into a game. And I taught college for 20 years...it actually helped students because they would come up with the word for me.

Ugh. I have recently started to forget words. It's getting worrisome because I have an IEP kid that I need to be "there for". I need to help him. I can't be f*&#ing around with my crap right now. You are an amazing mom and I can't wait to see the pics of the new little boy.

So many of us with the same issue! I still get teased about asking for the chocolate when I meant catsup years ago. (my daughter simply reached for the catsup and handed it to me. She knew.)
My sister asked me to go get the batteries in the refrigerator. Neither of us can blame medication. It's just us.
I LOVE the way you handled it. Noah's a lucky boy.

Oh! I just learned a week ago that it's incredibly common for children who have a weakness in long-term memory retrieval to also have ADHD. The same thing that keeps their little brains from paying attention to instructions also makes it harder for them to focus on the task of retrieving the word they want to use. And, like with any type of memory, anxiety can get make things worse. He's lucky to have such encouraging and helpful parents. Seriously, not all children I see (as a school psychologist) are so fortunate. Your little one is precious. Way to be flexible and responsive.

My son has ADHD also, so a lot of what you're saying is similar.
But, the fact that he is saying stuff like "my voice forgets the words" is HUGE.
Matt (age 7 now) would say "my brain is making me mess up" when he wasn't controlling his actions.
For him that was the first step in figuring out when his ADHD was coming into play. Now that he's in grade 1 he is able to communicate with his teachers when he's struggling. Sometimes he just can't do the workbook stuff, and they help him find a solution.
He will start banging his head when he feels "stupid" and that's something we are still working on.
As far as word retrieval (an issue for us) Matt loves playing computer games where you can "chat" but they give you some of the words. It's set up for safe chatting, but it's great for him.
Also, when Matt got diagnosed with ADHD (he was 4) he wanted to learn more about his brain. We did a lot of research on ADHD and were able to print up a bunch of images of the brain. Matt finds it pretty cool to see how his brain works, and he can honestly sit with his diagrams and explain what happens when he's having a rough day. And, when he has doctor's appointments he has been known to discuss with our doctor what effects the medication will have on areas of his brain. (maybe a bit weird, but he loves science, and it helped him to see that he's not a "bad kid" but that medicine helps him be calmer - also just a side note that for a long time we weren't doing meds, but using naturopathic remedies, and our naturopath was the one who suggested the pictures. I don't want to sound like I'm pushing meds at all)

One of the things we got for my son is a computer program called The Spelling Ladder (http://www.spellingladder.com/Index.aspx). It works great for kiddos that have learning issues and it's fun because it's on the computer. Check it out. All of your kids could use it.

My daughter who is almost five has the same issue. It is frustrating for her (and us!) but its also provided us with some giggles when she resorts to trying to decribe what she's trying to say!