Almost Bed Rest, But Not Quite
The Great Confession

This Post Brought To You By The Power Of Drugs And Also Drugs

Guess what! Guess what guess what! I AM FEELING SLIGHTLY KIND OF A LITTLE BETTER. Definitively, objectively so, even.

(Still in bed, however. I left the house exactly once this week, to take Noah to karate, but I sat down the whole time. I PROMISE.)

(The previous parenthetical written for 1) my mom, and 2) several of you adorable people, who have been leaving clucking comments of concern and ordering me not to do anything at all, YOU MEAN IT.)

The turnaround came from the proper combination of drugsdrugsdrugs, in my case an antibiotic and 12-hour maximum strength Mucinex. The problem, however, is that one of these drugs lists "tiredness" as a side effect and the other one lists "drowsiness." Taken together, I have been experiencing something that can only be described as "HOLY SHIT COMPULSIVE ALL-CAPS EXHAUSTION." 

Thus, every time I go to write anything I keep *zzzzztt!* doing *snarfhuh?* this thing *headjerk* where I'm *drool* falling asleep *ggguhhhh* in between every other *zzzzzzzz* word. 

Oh, and did I mention it's Noah's spring break this week? Yeah. I did enlist as many extra babysitting hours as I could finance, but still. It's been super edumacational and stimulating around here, with a lot of "Hey! you know what's fun? Watching Nick Jr. in bed with Mommy! Yaaayyy!"

(Also: The hidden stash of Easter candy somehow managed to end up in my nightstand. I don't know HOW that happened.)

(Also also: We somehow don't have any Easter candy anymore. Another profoundly mysterious mystery.) 

However, I do have one parental moment of victory to report: Ezra is finally, completely, oh-my-God-it's-for-real-this-time potty trained.

*here is where I totally planned to include a picture of the Mighty Ez with a pair of Buzz Lightyear underpants on his head, but then thought better of it, AKA my husband was like, "DUDE HE'S OUR SON" so never mind*

Despite an early, optimistic start at something like, 18 months old or whatever insane nonsense I'd been fed by fellow cloth diaper users about OH IT'LL BE SO EASY THEY ALL TRAIN EARLY IN CLOTH DIAPERS YOU WON'T HAVE TO DO A THING*, Ezra quickly changed his mind and steadfastly refused any and all suggestions/bribes/boot-camp-style approaches, to the point where if I offered big-boy pants to him in the morning, he would simply march over to the changing table, pull a diaper out of the drawer, lay it out neatly on the floor and then plop his bare butt on it, arms folded, like, I have made my choice, woman. Now snap this thing up so that I might take a crap in peace. 


All I wanted in the world was to get him out of diapers before The Coming Third arrived and we're all transported back to the magical days of mustard poops and 8-10 diaper changes a day. So I am really ridiculously pleased that we managed to hit that goal, right as we're closing in on the final weeks. This will really free up my schedule to maybe finally getting around to finding the missing crib screws and that box of nursing bras that I know is around here SOMEWHERE, just...not in any place that would seem to make any logical sense. I dunno. I haven't looked in the crawlspace where we keep the extra paint cans yet, so....


I promise I'm not posting the underwear-on-your-head photos, okay? Stop looking at me like that. 

(But for the record, I have them. Just so you know.)



the grumbles

i can't believe he's big enough to be potty trained. can't believe it. nope. NOPE. (that also means i've been reading your blog for a looooooong time. it's like we're old friends. old, anonymous friends.)


Those photos will come in handy during the Spiteful Teenage Years I'm sure. Also with the First Girlfriend and of course his Rehersal Dinner Photo Montage. I can already hear the people sighing and giggling.

(Yay for feeling a little tiny bit better!)

Life of a Doctor's Wife

Yay Ezra!!! (So cute.)

And so glad you are feeling better! Woo!

Angie @ Musings of a Violet Monkey

Future Ezra thanks you.

But for the record, we'd, um, like to see those pictures.



You do remember that he'll lose the toilet training when the new baby is 5 weeks old, right? At least it will be temporary. Glad to hear you're feeling better.


Yay for feeling better! And I applaud your restraint in posting the picture but just know that you can threaten to whip them out anytime :)

Awesome news on the potty training front; I'm fantasizing when I can get my 19 month old interested as I am *over* diapers and do not have a Coming Third. At least, not yet.


I envy you. Well, not the snotty-nosed, sleepy you, but you with the potty trained two year-old. Because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I my kid needs to crap in the potty already so my sanity doesn't wave bye bye. And this is the only forum wherein I feel comfortable admitting that, so thank you. I'm glad you're feeling a little better.


I envy you. Well, not the snotty-nosed, sleepy you, but you with the potty trained two year-old. Because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I my kid needs to crap in the potty already so my sanity doesn't wave bye bye. And this is the only forum wherein I feel comfortable admitting that, so thank you. I'm glad you're feeling a little better.


Um, I hate to be Debbie Downer but... there is a very good chance he'll regress back to diapers when baby comes along. Just a warning... but hey, my stubborn 3.5 year old still is in Pull-Ups as she utterly refuses to poop in the potty. She has been peeing in their for a year, but poop? Oh, hell, no, woman!


I am of the opinion that potty training is THE WORST thing about parenting. I honestly would take all the long sleepless nights with a newborn over the whole potty training experience. It's hell. They told me it would be progressively easier with each kid. And that each kid would train earlier than the last. All lies.


He won't regress, by then he will be so happy without diapers, he won't want to wear them. He may regress in other ways, but not in potty training.

I was at the Central Park Zoo this weekend, waiting for my husband to take my 2 girls through the penguin exhibit, when a mother pulled up with a giant stroller, picked up her 4 year old (I know because the little one told me herself) and changed her diaper on the bench, with a million other people around. 4 year old, still being diapered like a baby, exposed to the world while being changed. Holly cow people, get a grip. My 4 year old does not even like to dress/undress when the shades are open. She would be mortified if I were to change her diaper in public like that. Not that that's ever been an issue since she was trained around 18 months. So yay Ezra!

Jen L.

That's it. I'm mailing you my three year old. Send him back when he's trained.


Ezra will love you having those photos when he brings his first girlfriend home. Good luck buddy! Welcome to the digital age where parental humiliation increases 100 fold.

Glad you are feeling better, Amy x


Another profoundly mysterious mystery made me laugh, so thanks. The same type of mysteries happen in our home. I needed the laugh today. =)

Also, "Yeah! Ezra!"

Hugs from cloudy, dreary, snowy (I know it's April, WTF??) North Dakota. =)


What worked for Ezra? My son is a month older and we had success a few months ago but recently he has refused any and all suggesions of taking a crap anywhere but his diaper. And we have another one coming in September. Please help me? I have no idea how to proceed.


Three cheers for potty training just in time!


Oh, I am glad you are feeling better. I refrained from clucking because I only cluck at dear friends that I wouldn't mind having cluck at me, but I was a little worried about you and am glad to hear the drugs are working their magic.

Also, potty training, yay and congratulations!


Congrats, and How, how, how did you potty train him? My daughter is almost there but when she pees in her underwear she freaks out and demands a pullup. I fear she will never make it past this stage. (She just turned 3, BTW)


Fantastic on the potty training, although I would still like to see those pictures. lol


Congrats Ezra! We just potty trained my son too (think they are pretty close in age) my little man is 2.5. For you ladies in the comments who have had the problem where your child was making progress then stopped, the same thing happened for me. I found it was that I was pushing him too hard. I backed off, left it alone and 4 months later he decided to give it a go again. Now he's completely potty trained. He also tells me to leave the bathroom as he would like "cy" (his shortened version of privacy).


Yay for potty training, staying in bed, and eating Easter candy. You needed all three of those. Stay on the drugs now until you are all better. (Go ahead, call me a nag. I'm comfortable with that characterization.)


Go Might Ez! We are in the midst of potty-training as well. It might be more exhausting than the hazy newborn days. Glad you are starting to feel better. Stay in bed! (wagging finger and shaking head)


Go Ezra!

Parsing Nonsense

Woo hoo Ezra! Those underpants pictures will come in handy when you're putting together the photos for his graduation edition yearbook robot someday (I'm fairly certain yearbooks will be replaced by Kindles in the future).


The image of Ez plopping down on his diaper, arms crossed, has been cracking me up all morning.

But really, what did work? Halp, please!


Damn, dude. You just *had* to go and mention mustard poops whilst I'm eating a lunch that involves baby-poop looking mustard. Damn it. Damn it all to hell.


Re: What Worked For Potty-Training

Well, it's hard to say exactly, because I feel like we started the process FOREVER AGO -- probably too soon, but we were fooled by his verbal skills and desire to be a Big Boy in so many other areas -- but then we still just didn't ever let the topic die completely. We read books, we offered chances, we forcibly deposited it skinny butt on the toilet when we KNEW he had to go, we gave him candy/stickers if we happened to luck out with the timing, etc. (Noah got candy too, when Ez was successful, which made him get on the encouragement "YOU CAN DO IT!" train.)

He just wasn't interested, which was fine, but we walked a fine line between not pushing and yet still letting him know that dude, this is what we will expect of you at some point, just FYI.

In the last couple weeks it became CRAZY abundantly clear that he was past ready -- he was holding it, staying dry for hours and hours, expressing a preference for disposables over the cloth (half my cloth stash is currently getting converted from velcro to snaps, so we've had to use disposables) I decreed it was time to go cold turkey to underpants with NO EXCEPTIONS other than sleeping, and...I dunno, it just took this time. He had one or two accidents over the weekend and then BOOM, started running to the potty ahead of time like it was no big thing, every time, all the time. It just...clicked, even though I don't think we were necessarily doing anything we hadn't technically tried before.

(Now he gets mad when I insist he still wear a diaper at night! Sorry dude, I hate changing diapers, but SHEETS ARE WORSE.)

One huge thing, though: He's still really, really scared of non-home/public toilets and tries to just hold it the whole time we're out. So we still have that little battle to work on.

Re: Regression. Yeah...Noah regressed in a million plus one ways when Ezra was born, but thankfully potty training wasn't one (he was three and had been trained for about...four months? I think?). We'll see if we luck out again, I guess. (Though Noah was only halfway trained, technically -- pooping on the potty took at least another seven months for him, while Ezra seems to have gotten both things down at the same time.)



I have a picture of my daughter at about 1 year old with the most incredible poo face ever. We really should erase all traces of it but it's so awesome.


You're a better woman than me because I've posted the underwear on the head pictures of my kids.

Hope you continue to feel better.


I love that the first commenter said that she's been following you for a long time and feels like a close, anonymous friend. Spot on, First Commenter!

Congratulations on the drugs and the potty training!


I was going to ask if Ezra was potty trained a couple posts ago. Way to go, little man!

We started training my 3 (and 3 months) year old around 2, and everything was going great, when ge suddenly became so not interested. Now, nearly a year later, the stubborn kid can hold it, sometimes even during naps, but won't use the potty except on his terms. His life has changed drastically in the last several months (change in daycare, new baby, turning 3, staying at home...), so we're trying to be patient. But really, my tolerance for his peeing on the floor is about gone. (if anyone has suggestions, we're 100% at a loss...)
anyhoo! Way to go! I really wish we'd gotten our little guy trained before I had the baby. The pull-up/diaper changing is about to push me over the edge.


So happy for Ez! Way to go, man! And I am really glad you are taking it easy...or at least the drugs are making you rest.

The Mommy Therapy

So happy you are feeling better. Hooray drugs!

And HUGE hooray for potty training completion! My middle child did a fun switch from potty trained to not a few million times...complete with a period pee in the pants to this day and it nearly drove me nuts. This is a really big bonus before baby #3 gets here!

Yeah for fun news to report!


I know you are going through a rough time, but here is something fun


I used the naked method. Just took off the diapers. Pullups are just too enabling. If they pooped or peed on the floor, I handed them paper towels and told them to clean up the floor. They potty trained almost instantly.


"I have made my choice, woman. Now snap this thing up so that I might take a crap in peace."
Oh, the laughing. Snackbox is a few months younger than Ez and despite my best efforts (read: jelly bean bribes), he is not the slightest bit interested in doing anything on the potty. I also expected early achievement due to cloth diapers...

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