I have never at any moment in my life felt as good as I did after that first post-c-section shower. Aaaahhhh.

That made me laugh out loud at work and i have never had (and probably never will have) children. You have crossed the mommy-blogger divide, with a post about childbirth!

I agree with Hannah. Chop fucking CHOP, husbands!! And I think the black dress is really cute!

Yes, the stuff husbands do post-partum remain in the brain. I remember telling him that my throat was sore and a bit raw from my pushing efforts (no drugs for me = grunty Gaby!). He then chimes in, "Mine too!" REALLY? With all the...what, exactly were you doing that caused your throat to ALSO get sore?! Sigh.

You are right about the lip balm. While in labor, it was the only thing i asked my husband to get me from the bag. Then he brought THE WRONG ONE, and I told him so. Probably not very nicely.

I misplaced a modifier, and I'm sorry for needing to post this, but I teach English and need to: While I (not my lip balm) was in labor, it was the only thing I asked my husband to get me from my bag.

Treat yourself to a nice pillow to bring (granted - hospital pillows=yuck) but woman, just "forget" it there when you go home you really .... just please .... or I'll send you one. :)

I think I packed OK (I used one of your lists on one of the other sites you write for) but the amount of stuff that we ended up taking home with us was ridiculous. We had the stuff we brought but then we had all the gifts people brought us, the breast pump I rented from the hospital, the bags of free hospital supplies (mesh underwear, HUGE pads, diapers, etc.), the free diaper bags we got (which we still use!) and all of the paperwork that hospital gave to us since our baby was born with Albinism. Thankfully, my MIL took some of it home with her on one of her trips to visit us in the hospital. It felt like we had a baby who came with his own set of luggage to tote home! Good luck with everything! I can't wait to see pictures!

I love the hospital combination shampoo/body wash. I use it to clean my horse's brushes (no lie) I pour some in a bucket with hot water and let them soak in it, then rinse. I figure there are no additives that might cause an allergic reaction.

What I didn't see on your list that is on my definite "must have right on me" list is MOUTHWASH. Both actual labor and c-section prepped epidural can induce random vomiting and inconvenient times, and it is nice to take a swig of that to at least help with the after-puking-mouth when you can't actually brush your teeth due to being confined to bed or unable to sit up or whatever. Mouthwash. Bring it!

Also, steal EVERYTHING that is not pinned down in the hospital (except the remote--that's just mean).

That last picture is perfect, it's a good thing I wasn't drinking coffee when I saw it or I would have snorted some for sure. Good luck this time around, I hope things go smoothly!

Ah...thanks for this. Having a scheduled C-section this time around and lightbulb went off in my head - "Oh, I don't need any jolly ranchers this time around?" I am a terrible packer, so I really need to hang onto a list this time around so I'm not crying over missing face wash.

Thanks for this! I'm 30 weeks with my first, and am starting get all twitchy about having a hospital bag, but since I really had no clue what to pack/might need some of that crap over the next two months, am not actually doing anything about it. YET. But I did find your info super helpful!

Great post!

I sent my husband the link to this post before I even read it. Thanks for including so many "tips" for the spouse (as if my poor husband isn't tired of fetching me things already ;^)

Question(s): What about the food? Have you liked the hospital food? Have you sent Jason off to the nearest Chipotle? And I think you mentioned not wanting to eat meat much when pregnant with Ezra (I am in the same boat, and it's crazy)...how soon did you want to eat meat again after giving birth? Has it been the same this time around?

People still use DVDs?? What is this - 2007?! ;>)

(You'll be awesome. And The Internet won't have to track Jason down to berate him for not getting the damned toiletries this time. :>)

I went to the hospital all unexpected-like last time, without going home. The only things I sent my husband home for were my laptop, chapstick, a pillow, a blanket, and my camera. The first time, I had two suitcases full of stuff and never used any of it.

I saw someone selling designer hospital gowns for $150 each. I ruined THREE hospital issue gowns in about two hours last time. Ick.

I, too, am a bleeder, but my mom who had a c-section doesn't remember bleeding at all. WTF? I just had my IUD removed to try for baby number 2 and two days later it was like the scene where Carrie gets splashed with pig's blood. Holy hell.

This post made me laugh hysterically. I hope you have everything you need, where you want it, and when you need it!

When our second daughter was born, our first managed to get some minor virus thing meaning she wasn't allowed in the maternity ward. With no other family around, and friends who all worked, I spent many loooong hours alone (I was in for a week - there were "issues"), albeit with our new baby, but she SLEPT all day and didn't start partying till nighttime. So I asked my then partner to bring me something to read. I believe I may even have specified "light and/or trashy". He brought NO magazines and just one book. And that book? Was Ben effing Hur. Like you feel like reading that when you've just given birth...
Said partner is now my ex and, whilst obviously Ben Hur isn't to blame for that, I haven't forgotten it (or forgiven it either)...
Best wishes!

Kindle reading? Bossypants might fit the bill - easy to pick up in short bursts. Only problem is that it is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Which might hurt your bits a bit.

Reading this post makes me glad I was 10 minutes from the hospital - I don't remember much about packing the hospital bag!

Dude. Speaking of the lochia... why does no one warn you that it's huge effing clots?!?! The first time I passed a clot the size of a golfball, I thought for sure I was bleeding out and was surely nearly dead...

So I'm not the only one who brought a razor to the hospital! And thank God I did, I was so swollen they had me wearing hardcore compression stockings that the nurses had to put on me because I couldn't really reach my feet due to the combination of C-section and legs-were-so-swollen-my-knees-wouldn't-bend-enough-for-me-to-reach-my-feet. I'm still not entirely sure how I managed to reach my legs to shave them, but shave them I did.

And I'll second the don't-bother-bringing-your-own-pads-or-underwear thing. I don't think my lochia was nearly as bad as yours (I've had periods worse than my postpartum bleeding, but then, my periods are debilitatingly disgusting) but still. Those mesh panties were heaven. And it was nice to not have to worry about bleeding through my pads because they were roughly the size of the mattress.

OMG.. you crack me up!!!

i gave birth the natural (aka: straight out the hoo-ha) way and i passed out TWICE when they made me get up to go to the bathroom because blood would literally just pour out of me. they were THISCLOSE to doing a blood transfusion. in the end i just got a really kick ass oxygen mask and some hot pictures of me wearing it.

I swear, you get funnier with every additional week of gestation.

@SarahB - Oh my God, FOOD. That's a WHOLE OTHER CAPS-LOCKY THING.

After Noah was born (emergency c), they put me on a liquid diet for what felt like AGES, and I was unbelievably starving, since I hadn't eaten since BEFORE labor started and all night and all morning and then all day and finally the food guy stopped by and there was a mistake and they didn't have a liquid tray for me. So he asked if I'd been given the go-ahead for real food, because he had extra of that.

I lied and said yes, and it was the most delicious plate of mystery beef tips and rice I have ever tasted.

After that, the food wasn't awesome, but it really wasn't that bad. And Jason usually stopped somewhere for himself and brought me supplements of like, donuts and danish and stuff.

With Ezra, same thing: Required fasting before the surgery, then nothing, then liquid diet, then FINALLY real food...but the hospital had switched food suppliers or something and it was INEDIBLE. I made Jason bring me stuff for every meal. Though 99% of the time he was late with it, and I either had to eat the horrible hospital food or eat lunch at like, 2 pm or some shit and wow, reliving this makes me want to kick him in the shins when he gets home from work and remind him NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN.

As for meat? I ate almost exclusively vegetarian throughout the whole pregnancy with Ezra thanks to aversions. I think I made it to the recovery room before I started screaming SOMEBODY BRING ME A DAMN COW.

(Jason did end up bringing me a lot of hamburgers. So good job there, sweetie!)

just to set your mind at ease: I went to visit my cousin in the hospital a day or so after her unplanned C-Section. I don't recall that she looked anything but tired. Looking at the image in my minds eye, her hair looked just fine (I think she mentioned something about being desperate for a shower) Mostly I was paying attention to the baby, who was not impressed by our visit at all!

Best wishes and positive thoughts coming your way!

Dang, your list makes me feel like a total slacker. My husband kept pestering me to pack a damn bag already and I kept telling him
'dude, there's plenty of time, I'm not due for three more weeks yet". Yeah... wound up on the floor of my closet trying to find clothes to shove in my bag at 1:30 AM in the middle of painful contractions (transition finally convinced me that maybe I should get my damn ass to the hospital)

I wound up showing up there with a mostly empty bag containing my Kindle, chargers, and a pair of yoga pants, and nothing else. Thankfully since I was such a dumbass about labor, I wasn't there long before delivery (about 20 minutes) and didn't need anything to distract me, no food for husband (he may have been slightly past tipsy anyways, because have I mentioned we're dumbasses), no lip balm.

By the time we left two days later though I had TONS of shit to bring home, two different bags, all the clothes and shower stuff my husband brought from home (he forgot underwear for me, that's what I'm still bitter about, I hated those mesh undies) and all the packs of diapers nurses kept bringing in, along with two brown paper grocery bags full to the brim with pumping and breastfeeding stuff. Free hospital stuff rocks

I promised him next time I'd pack a bag at 30 weeks and it would be far more organized than the last one

For the horrific bleeding? Try upping your calcium intake. I planned a home birth and my midwife had me take at least 500 mg of calcium (Standard Process Calcium Lactate specifically) daily for two weeks before my due date. I ended up with an emergency c-section (very oddly positioned baby) and bled little afterward. I was able to switch to my usual lightdays pads on day 3. Thank GAWD because those giant hospital pads felt like a mattress between my legs.

Even if I had a Kindle, I'd still just toss a couple of old mystery paperbacks in my bag, or buy People and other junky magazines down at the gift shop before heading up, because honestly, during labor my brain don't work so good, and I turn to junky TV, junky magazines OR just talking with my doula.

After the birth I just wanted to either sleep, stare into space, or stare at the baby. In between figuring out how the baby worked, that is.

Also, not that I suspect anybody in particular, but things can get stolen at hospitals very easily. You can be napping and somebody comes in under the guise of being an orderly or nurse, and there goes your Kindle. I'm not planning on taking anything expensive to the hospital--save for my cell phone, and a small portable DVD/CD player that we wouldn't miss much if it did go missing.

Same goes for camera equipment. I totally get wanting to capture those first few moments, but I'd worry about either losing an expensive camera or it going...missing. This time around I'm going to ask a good friend of mine, who loves doing photography, to bring her camera when she comes to visit after the baby's born, to grab a few newborn pics. Also, my doula is more than happy to play around with the camera on my cell phone to take a few pics if I really want them.

This.was.HILARIOUS. Who knew that a post about a hospital bag would have me cracking up.I loved the "SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT" ;-) .

Congrats and we can't wait to hear from you! And now I shall go before I say anything to cause a grudge against me ;-) .

(P.S. Loooong time reader, 1st-or-maybe-2nd time commenter. Am somewhat coming out of my internet shell).

Yeaaah those lists suck. I packed, like, all of the stuff suggested and didn't use any of it except the pillow, the camera and the toiletries. I had 3 pairs of PJs with me but it was all so gross afterward, and I was so freaking sore that it was easier to stay in the hospital gown. I wish now that I'd had room to take home more stuff...even though I took home so much I didn't end up using all of it. I don't care. Those snappy ice pack thingies will totally come in handy some day, I'm sure.

After extensive in-hospital bedrest and then a few stays with the kids I thought I had the perfect list of what you do and do not need at a hospital but after our last visit, I have decided what I really need to take from now on is a universal remote that I can set to work the DVD player since the remote for it is always either missing or doesn't work. Because just like being forced to watch Iron Man sucks, explaining that "Mommy can't select the Cars movie honey, we seem to be stuck on the DVD menu" to a sick two year old also sucks.

Oh, and the camera? Pack the damn camera first. Baby #2 arrived prematurely via emergecy c-section. I had already been at the hospital on bedrest for six weeks when things went south. I called my husband in the wee hours as they rushed me to the OR and, miraculously, he made it in time for the c-section but neither of us ever even thought about having a camera (and our camera phones sucked). Our baby went straight to the NICU and then within an hour across the street to the NICU at the Children's Hospital and all I have to say is that I was SO very grateful to the NICU nurse who whipped out a camera, took two pictures of my baby, printed them for us and gave them to my husband. He gave them to me when he left to go with our daughter to the other hospital. Those photos were all I had to hold onto and even though I am lucky enough to have a thousand pictures of my beautiful little girl now, those two are still possibly the most precious.

The last several weeks have been so tear inducing type stressful. Every time I look at my calendar with JUNE 1 all colored in and shit with the felt tip pens, it brings this huge smile to my face. I am so freaking excited to meet him.

Also, remember that you have people to bring you shit. Like, I can stop at a Sephora if need be and buy you some Bobbi Brown product.

AHHHH. You and Baby Boy are the only things keeping me going right now.

You need a life. You need a to find something that occupies more brain cells than cosmetic products and DVDs. If I were a slightly disadvantaged mother who could not afford all those goodies nor had a partner who would bend over backwards for (almost) every spoiled whim, after reading this, I would want to slap you silly all the way to that operating room. Have some decency and stop behaving like a spoiled brat.

I packed a bunch of bulky stuff I didn't use. I obediently put on the socks w/treads provided only to rip them off 5 minutes later moaning "Hhhhooooottttt!" I was so not going to wear a fleecy bathrobe. I also told a friend that if you must wear pants home, avoid denim because oh, the chafing!

Dude, your hospital kinda sounds like it sucks. The biggest complaint about mine was the nurse who persisted in calling me 'sweet girl'. Really? When I was suddenly sent back to the hospital four days after giving bith with post-partum pre-eclampsia, I only had my purse with. A wonderful nurse found me all kinds of toiletries except for deodorant, and kept apologizing for that lack.

Why doesn't anyone tell you before you give birth about the blood? Seriously, is this some big secret? Like a secret moms club that is laughing behind your back. "If so-and-so only knew what's coming her way. He he."

I never stayed in the hospital long enough to even think about a shower. I still don't know what I said to convince the hospital staff that I should check out within 24 hours. What ever it was it worked on all three kids in three different hospitals.

I've only done it once, but I learned from many a mommy-blogger not to overpack. I only brought one bag and still didn't use anything other than my toiletries, flip-flops, camera, and iPhone. That was really and truly it. The second night, I tried to read a little bit and just couldn't summon up the brainpower.

My hospital gave me a handy dandy canvas bag to fill with all of the "goodies" that were in the room. BONUS!

"My first piece of advice to friends who are having babies is always DON'T look in the toilet the first time you go to the bathroom. Seriously."

Oh, the nurses filled me in on this. While wheeling my IV behind me, the very sweet nurse put her hand on my shoulder and in the nicest - yet most serious - voice possible whispered "Don't look down."

I knew right then that if I did, I would have regrets. I did not look down.

THE STANDing up bloodbath is why I Laugh like hell when packing lists put "SLIPPERS" on list. COME ON. It's gross - pack FLIP FLOPS that are WASHABLE. I had three regular births and the first 2 times I stood up after EACH baby was a NIGHTMARE. UGH! THAT is what I warn new mommies about because no one warned me!!

let me just say that mistaking gas for contractions is infinitely worse than mistaking labor for gas and having the baby in the car - which happened to someone I know.

May I humbly recommend one more item for your bag? Dry shampoo! AKA the best thing ever!

Wanna talk hospital bag/husband-related dumbness? Check it: When we headed to the hospital after several hours of labour, my husband remembered the birthing-mother-related bag and the birthing-partner-aka-father-related bag, and COMPLETELY FORGOT the baby-related bag. You know, with the freaking blankets and jammies and hats and mitts and everything. He told me later that it just had not dawned on him that another person was coming home with us. The happy ending, however, is that our house is three blocks from the hospital, so that stuff arrived PROMPTLY after the baby did.

Wow, I can't believe what excellent memories you all have! I'm sitting here with my freshly-home-from college 19 year old and the grossest thing I can remember is that the mesh panties--which I loved? The bitchy nurse told me I was only allowed the one pair. If I ever see her again...I probably won't recognize her. (It has been 19 years.)

The Combination of Body Wash and Shampoo is really harmful. Pack your hospital bag as soon as you complete your seven months.

I waited a long time to pack my hospital bag. Then, my water broke on base when we were in a rental car with no bags and now I know we should have gone home first, but we went right to the hospital and they wouldn't let me leave. So, hubby went to go get the bags. He was gone a long time. I missed him - laboring all alone.

One thing I didn't know we'd need that he had to make sure to bring? My pump. With all it's unsanitized pieces. Because I thought that you didn't need to pump until weeks after giving birth. But that's how I avoided pitocin at first - nipple stimulation. and if I had known better? I would have been pumping while my baby refused to wake up at the hospital to feed - because my supply never recovered :(

Sanitize your pump parts and bring them to the hospital!!

I am going to remember this post and make my boyfriend read it when we decide to have kids. I REFUSE to have a husband who brings me the wrong lip balm. REFUSE. ^_- Ya'll crack me up.

OMG, this whole thing made my day! I don't think I packed 1/3rd of any of this and ended up having an emergency C-section. Woo-ha! Then my hubby nearly fainted the first time I went to pee and there was the BLOOOOOOOOOOOD everywhere... oh dear! Hopefully you'll clot better this time - ha!

OMG the bleeding. And the pee. Vaginal with both and seriously I cried every time I had to pee for the first week. It sucked. Though I do remember with my second that they said I had to pee (after the epi wore off) or they'd give me a catheter. You better believe I made it happen.

And yes I'm de-lurking to say hiya and hope you the best with this little boy.

I actually think that the pillow you got from Balboa Baby is going to be great. What I hated about the Boppy (even though I bought a second one when I had my second child...) was how FLAT it was! I am sort of tall from waist to boobs so I always felt like I had to hunch over to get said boob to babies mouth. This pillow seems to be stiffer, so therefore, probably better! Let us know how you like it upon actual use!

Both my babies were premature, so I went to the hospital both times without anything except what I was wearing. Not a single thing packed!

And the first time, we ended up sent by ambulance to a hospital where they told my husband not to leave the hospital grounds; it wasn't safe. So he couldn't even go get anything until much later.

But looking back, I think deciding what to take would have stressed me out more than having nothing.