Naps Are Wasted On The Young, Part Two

Naps Are Wasted On The Young

May 16 20122

Do not let him fool you. Do not lend this child any money. That angelic little serious face has not napped in three days. THREE DAYS.

And I don't mean oh, he's fighting his naps, or only taken short naps, or irregular naps, I mean NO NAPS. Not even so much as a 15-minute catnap in the car. Yesterday I saw him half-close his eyes in the stroller on the way home from the playground...and then he caught himself and powered through another four solid hours of daylight.  

6 am to 8 pm, this child is a ball of non-stop terrifying awakeness

Is he tired? Exhausted? Collapse-on-the-floor-wailing-because-his-head-is-stuck-under-his-musical-activity-table-again-level sleep-deprived? Oh, fuck yes. All that. He's a complete wreck at this point, possibly able to see through space and time but unable to figure out that hey, I'm tired. I should close my eyes and sleep instead of freaking out everytime I blink. 

May 16 20121

Molar number four is cutting through. Which I think (hope) (pray) (trade personal soul for) is the root of the problem. The other three fucked with his nights; this one decided to mess with his days. For kicks! To be different! Oh, that upper left molar, marching to the beat of its own drum, all unique and snowflakey and probably way emo. 

May 16 20123

(It's also entirely possible that his teeth have nothing to do with any of it, and he's just staying awake to stare at me exactly like this all day, like I am some sort of vaguely interesting zoo animal or PBS documentary about energy prices. Hmm. Interesting, Mother. Do go on with your theories. I'll brew some espresso.)



It must be in the air! Mine just started napping again, after 5 days of no naps. I have no help. Just comiserating with you. I hope it ends soon!


I realize he's a pain in the ass right now, but Christ, he's cute.


yikes. him looks tired. benedryl?


My five month old son has started teething and has decided that sleeping is for "other people."


He needs a nap. I can tell. As cute as he is, his facial expression in the last picture is way too close for "Mother, may I eat your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti?" for my comfort.

Becki K.

When my daughter was 18 months she quit naps FOREVER. They haven't come back, no matter what I've tried, she's decided that sleeping is for fools and she is missing too much fun by closing her eyes during the day. My pediatrician said as long as she sleeps enough at night we're okay (I stay at home so mornings aren't early around here), but I do miss the afternoon nap!


I needed this laugh so bad today...I am sorry about the ZERO NAP TAKING...but THANK YOU for a smile!


Gosh, that child is absolutely adorable. Although you are probably not buying those big cute eyes, I totally am!! Hope it's just the teeth!


Hee! "unique and snowflakey and probably way emo" slayed me. Hope he naps soon!


My 2 year old (cutting the 2 year molars, btw) is in the same boat. The same cranky, tortured, I will not sleep boat. I blame the long daylight - the sun is still up at 8pm. Messing with their little brains.


Don't stone me, but I am here to tout my religion and proclaim to all that I have accepted the almighty heavenly nap as my personal savior and if by uttering these words into the universe he stops napping today I will either kill you all or bring him to you until bedtime.

He is 2 1/2. He still naps at daycare and at home on the weekends. And he's never fought it. I love him. On Saturdays, when he naps, I nap. Those other children will say stupid shit like, "Mommy, wanna do a puzzle?", "Mommy, wanna go outside?" There's something wrong w/you; it's naptime!

If that last picture ain't "sleep, bitch, what?"


What? Wait! When did this baby turn into a little boy? STOP THAT.


you mention espresso? he's not getting into the coffee, is he?

Erika Mitchell

Frigging molars!!! Each and every molar equated to a a month of nonstop misery for Aidan, messing with both his nights and his days and his eating and his nose and oh, just about everything else.

Korinthia Klein

"Do not lend this child money"!!!

All I know after reading this post is I want a nap.

Jessica V.

I love how Ike is such a mix of all of you...lord he's a cutie.

Hope he hops back on that nap train right quick!


oh god, my 3 year old still takes a nap every afternoon and god as my witness i will have her lie down in her room every afternoon until the day she starts kindergarten.... i have friends whose kid quit naps at 18 months...that would have killed me.

sleep ike sleeeeeeeeeppppp


Both of mine do this when they're about to hit a developmental milestone. And so help me, I need them to nap so badly that I change it to "quiet time" and let them have a couple quiet toys in bed, whether they want them or not. And by "or not," I mean, "or fling them across the room at the speed of light and then screech at them for half an hour." Call me a bad mother, but it's better than just losing my mind entirely and running naked down 72nd screaming unintelligibly until They come to put me in a hospital.

And sticking it out does eventually pay off. They both always go back to napping (and obviously needing it), even if the no-nap spell lasts a couple of weeks.


Oh, it really helps to read this after the third failed attempt at napping today, after a craptastic night. Thank you for sharing!


Okay, don't stone me, but what happens if you just put him in his crib and let him scream for a bit? I don't believe in crying it out for young babies but at a certain point, mama needs a break.


I'm one of those whose little muffin stopped napping before she was two, about 6 months ago. For a while, we tried songs at naptime, tin-foiling the windows, giving her a bath right before, forcing her to chug a couple shots of whiskey...turns out the ankle-biter can hold her liquor.
So, she doesn't nap. We still have her do quiet time, where she gets to discipline her stuffed animals in her bed, read books, and try to put her clothes on backwards, at which point she usually cries out, "I need help daddy!"

I miss those napping days. I truly do. She was a really good napper until one day, she just decided she was too good for that sh*t anymore. And she's napped about 5 or 10 times in six months.

Good luck. Maybe they'll grow up to do really productive things with the extra time they don't need for sleeping. My two-year old better cure cancer, or I'll be pissed.

Corey Feldman

Both of my boys went through this at some point. I think Elijah gave up naps permanently before he was , but thankfully he is a good nighttime sleeper. If he wakes up early or in the middle of the night, we know he is sick.

Corey Feldman

And yes defiantly wasted on the young. I would love nap time at work.


God, we are also doing molars right now. First is through, second is cutting. The second has some how resulted in unusually high sleepiness (and fussiness while awake). Not sure what's up with that, but I'll take that any day over the not sleeping (we did that with earlier teeth, no sleeping for longer than 40 at night or day for 2 days.)


Damnit, *I* can barely make it from 6am to 8pm without a nap.


This is completely off topic, but Ike looks just like Linda/Sundry's son Dylan in these photos. You guys are friends, right? Is it possible she impregnated you?
ps. I feel your pain. My 13 month old is doing something similar with naps.

The Mommy Psychologist

I'm glad someone else has a kid who doesn't sleep! My son actually hold s his eyelids open with his fingers. I'm not even kidding. He really does. I'm gonna snap a pic next time just to prove it.


You have really cute kids.

More importantly, though, you represent them in the *most* honest, real, true way possible, so many of us feel like we "know" them; hence, we adore them.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. :)


Not sure if it's the strep, the aching muscles from my first post-baby workout, or the insomnia but son of a nutcracker that made me squee with the lols.


OMG. I would totally lend that kid money with that face! Those eyes! Holy crapmobile he's cute!


My son was not much of a napper, either, starting at about Ike's age. What saved our bacon was hanging a dark green flannel sheet over the window, setting bedtime an hour earlier, putting doublers in his diapers, and not waking him for anything until he woke up himself in the morning.


I'm sorry, where there words with that post?...all I saw was BABY IKE!! Gah, he's so cute!


Lmao. Only because we are going through the exact same thing. Only Owen, now 12 months, is walking. So the crazy sleep deprived drunk state of mind is even more dangerous over here.


That post was just awesome and I loved the ending the best...I know that look oh so well!! Thanks for writing it.


You have seriously adorable kids.


Oh this post made me laugh out loud. You crack me up. And Ezra asleep by the stairs with backpack on in the other post was priceless.

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