A Million Tiny Onesies
Mr. Montessori, Year Two

A Life Worth Not Blogging About

Hello! Greetings and salutations to my slightly dusty blog and its readers. Hopefully you are not dusty. Or if you are, it's only because you re-organized your attic crawlspace recently. Which: HIGH FIVE, if you did. Maybe you could come do mine next, because I went up there this weekend in search of our old car seat stroller frame thing* and was very nearly Collyer-ed by a teetering pile of empty suitcases and baby swings. 

*Warning to the remaining takers of the hand-me-downs: When you show up for your box of clothes, there is a high probability that I will also attempt to fob large, awkward baby gear that you did not ask for on you. TAKE THIS! AND THIS! EVERYTHING MUST GO! WATCH AS I MANICALLY TEMPT THE NO-MORE-BABIES PREGNANCY GODS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON!

Anyway, I was hoping something worth blogging about would happen over the long weekend, but alas. I remain, as ever, too boring for color TV. 

We went to the aquarium yesterday, but forgot to bring the camera, so every photo I took is of the terrible, blurry low-light iPhone sort. Lots of shots of the back of my children's heads, as they had no patience for posing or standing still because SHARKS EELS FISH NEMO.

Photo (40)

(This was when I TRIED to take advantage of the ONE well-lit corridor in the whole damn place and take some pictures, which only resulted in Noah mournfully draping himself over the railing because we were NEVER going to see the dolphins now, NEVER EVER, because Mom is a destroyer of dreams and ruiner of everything OKAY NEVER MIND WE'LL JUST KEEP WALKING INSTEAD.)

(We saw the dolphins. They were fun. Noah now plans to attend college and major in Dolphin Caretaking & Swimming With Them All The Time.)

Photo (42)

(This one was there too. He liked the sharks and the world's most expensive cup of blueberry yogurt from the food court because I also forgot to pack snacks. It's like amateur hour over here, you guys.)

What did you do this weekend? Anything fun? Any amusing anecdotes about getting drunk and falling down that you'd like to share?   


Photo (43)

You're welcome, yes.



We took our one-year-old to the beach. He was not a big fan. When we tried to stand him up between us, he would lift up his feet so they did not touch the tricksy sand. He did seem to enjoy building sand castles for awhile. He also enjoyed eating dinner and watching all the people walking by on the boardwalk.


Ugh, I hate those rookie mistakes. The looks I imagine my children giving me! Which are sometimes not imaginary at all.
The thing is, the picture was very exciting, because I did not realize it was taken outside, and whatthehell SAVE EZRA ohwaitaminute, everything's ok. More caffeine here, please.


In trying to find room to fit some baby food in my pantry, I spent the next 1.5 hours cleaning it out so I totally get your attic cleaning.

Did you guys go to the National Aquarium in Baltimore? I was there a couple of months ago and your photos look like what I remember. (Don't worry--I'm not trying to stalk you and I live far away in Denver.)


funny how your "boring" makes my "entertainment"

love it!!

Mom In Two Cultures

When all else fails, blog about bento! At least, that's my new approach.



Amusing anecdotes? How about the one where we had a tiny little accident that I don't even dare tell my mother, having to do with our two-month old boy, his little head and the door of the car trunk? ya. It was that kind of weekend.


Dimantled the baby crib and put the almost three year old in her Big Girl Bed. Did not cry at all as it was hauled away by the trash guys or as we bought Big Girl Panties for her. Nope, I cried when I was folding her laundry which included a crib sheet. Then I drank some Cabernet.



I have nothing (which is why my own blog looks like last week. Bor-ing). I did however have multiple plans that never made it off of the to-do list. Things like convert the crib to a toddler bed. He's still caged. Things like take the six bags that have been in the living room for months to Goodwill. Tripped over one of the bags this morning. Things like shower. Meh. I don't necessarily like my job so not showering is all the more reason for me to avoid my coworkers. (Also, I want to hear nothing of Nemo because the boy wants to see the BRAND NEW 3-D version and all I can muster is shid. Better call Grandpops because mommy ain't payin' 3-D money to see the same goddamn movie I seent 264645645678 times in the past 9 years).


I ALWAYS enjoy the everyday stories. So chill out. ;-)

In other news, I spent 20 minutes on Wikipedia reading about the Collyer brothers. So you are credited with me learning something today.

Have a great week!


@Kim I had the same first reaction to the photo. "Um, Amy? Amy? SCREW THE PIC, THE KID IS ABOUT TO FIND NEMO!!"


You guys are super brave to go there on the weekend with three kids. I have a strict weekday only with at least one adult per kid (preferably more adults) ratio policy when it comes to that aquarium given their "no strollers" policy (which I totally understand btw).

ps: What's one overpriced cup over yogurt in the grand scheme of how expensive that place is.

pps: For future reference the National Zoo now has an aquarium component with their new(ish) Amazon exhibit. Lots of big fish but no dolphins sadly.


When I was young, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. My father mocked me - he still mocks me for it. Please do not mock Noah for it. He likely won't become one. Or maybe he will and get his own water park and reality show and keep you in a manner to which you want to become accustomed. But I just had to say this, for the 7 year old wanna-be-dolphin-trainer still inside me.

Mrs. Flinger

I'm dusty and not in a good way.

I don't even have crappy iPhone photos to share. At least your blurry ones have cute kids in it. :-)


No weekend stories, but so far today I have stepped in dog poop, forgotten daughter's backpack, and had an 8 a.m. fire drill at work in the rain. With no umbrella. Sigh. It's fake Monday, isn't it? Here's to a better week ahead for us both (not that yours sounded bad!).....


We went out of town this weekend to visit my family. Trying to carrying to much stuff out of the hotel room results in my laptop falling [Me: Shit!] and then my hot chocolate spilling and burning me as I lunge for the laptop [me: SHIT!]. My four-year-old? "Shit what Mommy?". HAH. Ooops.

Plano Mom

I broke my tailbone. Yep. Just saw the x-rays this morning. That sucker is in four tiny pieces. I found myself babbling in the drug store that I didn't need the inflatable ring for hemorroids, no not at all - I broke my tailbone.... I'm such an ass.


I also love the everyday stories so keep them coming! The doodle next to "butt" is...intriguing.


We went to Venice and spent 3 days walking until we no longer had feet but I'm 99.99% sure I saw Ryan Reynolds on a boat heading to the Venice Film Festival! Any time you want to come hang out in Italy (with or without the fam) you are welcome. We have an extra bed and a futon! And a view of a potentially dangerous volcano! But it's Italy! (I'd much rather be living a life like yours; I miss going to the aquarium. And eating overpriced yogurt. And Target.)


We went camping, with a billion of our friends who also have small children. I apologize to anyone else who was trying to enjoy a peaceful weekend in the mountains at the campground.

I don't even want to tell you about the amateur hours that happen, well, hourly around here...

Corey Feldman

I went to an amazing wedding in Kentucky which while it sounds like an oxymoron but was amazing. Having someone throw up on themselves in the same row on the shuttle back was not the highlight.


My daughter went on her gap year, she left for Peru on saturday - sad, no not sad, I am devestated I tell you, I want my girl to be a baby again :(


Took the 16-month old camping at the beach. Beautiful weather, especially for Oregon. Unfortunately he was cutting a molar and just wanted to be held so every time I set him down the entire campground probably thought I was beating him. Do you know how hard it is to cook over a campfire with a toddler on your hip and a 35-wks pregnant belly in the way?? Note to self: never again.


Is that some booty artwork next to the word butt? If so, how fascinating!

My brother-in-law and his fiance came into town, and we spent pretty much the entire weekend on the lake/river. Everywhere else in town is under tight security due to the DNC, but I'm loving my renewed tan, so no complaints! :)


I took my girl and two of her teen friends to the baseball game. They proceeded to use the binoculars to scope out which guys deserve the "hawt" title. I spent my time reminding them that those guys are a decade older than them, and reminding myself that I am old enough to have birthed most of the team when I was in my 20s. I think this is the definition of "generation gap".


After thus weekend, there's a brown spot on our comforter. I don't know if it's chocolate donut or poo. Life with boy children is delicious AND gross.


Get your roots done. Which is only funny if you are making a Steel Magnolias reference with the whole color TV comment, as I think you are. But if you're not... never mind and ignore please!

Michele Rowe

My husband and I took five boys to play mini golf and ride go karts. Then we brought them back to our house for pizza and brownie/ice cream pizza. And they all slept over until the next morning when I fed them mass quantities of mini-waffles. And we climbed up to the Heublein Tower after which we went to lunch, where I had the awesomest "loaded potato" pizza. I tried to enjoy my last weekend of no soccer until God knows when.


whow your child so lovely


I braved the MN State Fair to see Wilson Phillips. So did everyone else in the state - who knew Wilson Phillips was so big. Dad was on baby duty - translation a very tired and crabby baby when I got home. Then for some insane reason we decided to go to the Mall of America on a holiday weekend. What were we thinking!? I did get shorts for $8 to fit my new stretch marked hanging stomach post baby body.


I was reading your archive the other day (you were at the beach and I was in New-Born-Milk-Haze phase) and I found myself wondering about how your work is? Anyone crazy on the intranet? (Actually do intranets still exist...?) Just wondering. Still really enjoying the everyday family posts n all. Jus wondering if you can still do old skool Amalah now you're a mommy blogger and all?

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