Mr. Independent
Deodorant Wars: Where Are They Now? Edition

AB Chao Design Camp DC: Hoarding, Crying & Other Assorted Awesomeness

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So remind me to tell you about the time AB Chao bought me a shot of bourbon and drunk-dialed Heather Armstrong. And then promptly shoved the phone at my drunken ass while I shrieked in panic.

400x182_my whole brain is crying


Later, I burst into drunken tears at the table while explaining to all the other lovely DC Design Camp attendees how AB and I know each other because you guys. You guyyyyyyssss. This. This right here. This lady and you people and the Internet and blogging and the ENTIRE PATH OF MY LIFE, plus also the universe and everything.

Yes. I am very fun at parties. Always bring a towel, mostly because I will definitely spill something.

(Yesterday it was coffee. I got up mid-session to refill my coffee and unscrewed the lid on an apparently still very full to-go container and coffee just fucking erupted out of the thing, all over me and the floor and like, inside drawers and cabinets and shit. And once again, I stood there doing little else besides PANICKED SHRIEKING because I have no coping skills.)

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My point is that I had a fantastic weekend. Like, teh best. I learned so much and had even more fun. There was much laughter and champagne (sabering!) and cupcakes and really inappropriate jokes about grommet-top curtains and vagina baskets. My brain is full of so many awesome decorating ideas (I am going to rearrange the SHIT out of some furniture, people) and my phone is full of awesome new contacts/future drinking buddies who are all mysteriously flashing me metal horns and/or their cleavage. 

Plus, on the Metro ride home, I totally got hit on. Like "what kinda pics u got on dat cameraaaaa phone, hot mom lady" hit on. I have not been flirted with that hilariously (or, okay, at all) in ages. He lost my heart (and my smokin' mom ass) when he said he was only down with "ladies marryin' laaaadies, but not like, dudes, cuz gross." I was like, UR FACE IS GROSS. Also, how did we even get on this topic? Also also, I do not believe that you are a male model in from Los Angeles. I would suggest a better cover story, seeing as it clearly did not get you anywhere with the laaaaadies and you're here desperately trying to pick up a bedraggled mother of three on the Red Line at like, 7:45 pm. Hot Mom Lady, OUT. Because she's really tired, and this is her stop.

Anyway, if you're in the Chicago area I highly recommend attending the mini camp in December. Buy AB a shot of bourbon and tell her to drunk dial me. 


Heather B.

This entire post made me smile. I think AB is great.


You just wrote an entire blog entry to brag about getting hit on on the train. That's sad.


it was *awesome* I kind of want to throw away everything in my house, win the lottery, and start fresh. (maybe I should win the lottery first?) So great to see you, and even though we didn't exchange numbers I'm emailing mine to you so I can update you on my grommet-rod situation.


also: I still think we were robbed in the floral arrangement competition. ROBBED!

Andrew K.

Sobby shoutout to marriage equality on Instagram? Good. Subway lothario bigot takedown? PRICELESS.


The Red Line seems to be awkward hit on central. I was once told that by "random drunk at 6pm on a Sunday night" that if he was single, I would be the one he would be hitting on. Uh, thanks?

Also, share more gorgeous design camp photos!


Gah! I saw your instagram this weekend and thought "I want to go to there". now I just signed up for the camp in Chicago. Can't wait! Also getting hit on is always worth bragging about :)


seriously lady, if we ever accomplish our dream of moving to the DCish area you are so gonna be mah friend! (meant in a not-stalkery manner, really)


This entry just made my day. Love hearing about your shenanigans. Good to know there are other members of my clutzy and socially-awkward tribe out there.


Thoughts while reading this:
1. Honest thought: you are very funny.
2. Stupid thought: Why is she drunk dialing Heather Armstrong,I wonder if all blogger mommies know each other?
3. Paranoid thought: I used Awesomeness and spillage in my post this morning. Hope I am not accused of plagiarism.


1. Okay, so I'm "vagina baskets???"
2. Clicked on the link but it's broken...
3. Alright, I'll google it... (warily)
4. This comes up:
5. Laugh until I am in pain.


Ooh, remember when you wrote that post about your dining room and kind of asked an open question about what to do in there? Or saying you didn't know what to do (can't remember if you actually made the mistake of asking for advice). . .but anyway. I wouldn't assume that you followed the links that I put in my comment, suggesting some more interesting chairs to go with your table. . .but one of the chairs that I linked to was that chair where the back kind of looks like trees, in that top picture! A chair presumably picked out by AB Chao! A designer you love! So now I feel pretty cool, is basically what I'm saying. You shoulda taken me up on my offer to e-design your room for free! ;)


GURL, you were so not the only one panicking about that coffee volcano. I was sitting right behind you and giggling awkwardly bc that's what I do when I'm terrified. So wish I could've seen this drunk meltdown at cocktail hour while I sipped on my virgin drink of choice - that was a bummer. Miss your crazy self already!

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