Ezra the Collector
Doppy Urpdey


For all my big "I'm over preschool, it's no big deal" talk, this morning was Hard. Very Hard. A whole entire hour of Hard! 

I told Ike he was going to school this morning as I got him dressed, and his entire face lit up at the word and he very literally gasped with delight and clapped his hands. 

"Well," I added, "for an HOUR, anyway. Let's not get ridiculous about it."

I pulled up to the school's drop-off and a teacher calmly collected Ike right from his carseat and carried him up a walkway, towards the classroom door. He and I stared at each other through the windshield. What just happened? Did that just happen? I'm not sure how I feel about what just happened.

I drove home and promptly got ridiculous about it. The rearview reflected nothing but empty carseats and boosters — I'd sent Noah off on the bus carrying a giant posterboard project we completed last night; he refused my offer to drive him to school to protect it because he wanted to show it off to his friends. Next, I dropped Ezra at the curb of the school's primary campus, and he'd bounded off towards the door (with his extraneous backpack and lunchbag, natch) without a look back at me. 

And now my baby, too. 

Ike's entire first hour of toddler-flavor preschool was barely enough time for me to get back home to shower and wipe the breakfast crumbs and syrup residue off my counters, but it was still enough to twinge. My chest felt tight and my arms just felt empty. 

Which: Christ, chill out. Most mornings around this time I'd be handing duties over to a babysitter anyway and plopping down with my laptop and all my other professional-ish (and not-so-professional-ish) duties, but Ike would still be THERE. HERE. Poking his head in my room or downstairs singing. Maybe not in my primary care but still in my...uh...general domain. This was different. Too different. And way too soon. 

(I told you I got ridiculous about it.)

When I arrived back at his school he was sitting at an impossibly tiny table hammering some wooden balls into a tower of ramps. The teacher reported that he did very well, though there were some tears when he first arrived and realized I wasn't coming in with him.

I REPEAT: There were some tears when he first arrived and realized I wasn't coming in with him.

I'm sure this makes me a terrible asshole of a mother, but I was...relieved to hear that. Maybe even a twinge of downright pleased. He noticed. He cared. He gave a rat's ass.

I missed him and he missed me. Good.

He turned towards the door at the sound of my voice and his face lit up for a second time. "Go?" he asked. "Yes?"

"Yes," I said. "Let's go home."

"Yessssss!" he agreed, and ran over to hug me.


Two hours tomorrow. We'll be fine. We can do this. 



Wow, they come out and get him? That would weird me out too. Glad it was all OK though.

Reb @ Sink or Swim

Awww! You two are so cute!


So, so, so, not looking forward to taking my middlest boy to preschool in the fall. He'll be three and he is WAY more independent that. His big brother was at that age. And methinks it is going to be in the lines of 'bye mama, I've got learning to do!' And off he will go. Or he may completely surprise me.
Still not looking forward to it.


No, I'm sorry but that cannot be Ike talking with words and stuff. Never mind the going to school. You just stop that right now. Both of you.


Awww! Too cute x


I agree with Christine above, you two stop that right now :D


Oh my heart. It never gets easier it seems. Glad that he had a good first day and even more glad that he really missed you. Still your baby, always and forever.

Sarah Narrajos

That boy is the cutest boy! Mine is 3, is handing out valentines, and attending his 1st classmate b-day party in a couple of weeks. I'm 32 and feel like I should still be handing out valentines and be invited to kid parties! Life is bazaar...


Ike is such a sweetheart. It's a really good thing to be missed and loved! Now if only you can get one of those full-body hugs that you put up in your recent post. All of them at once must be wonderful!… Even though I think that's Jason under all that.
I have a daughter that's the same age as Ike, and just recently when I had to leave her, she ran after me calling, "Mama come back! Naomi sad!" My heart fractured into a million pieces and will probably never recover. So I can understand how you feel. Good luck with the two hours tomorrow!


I'm beginning to think I'm a callous Mom. Am I the only one who didn't feel teary or lonely her kid's first day of school? She just started less than a month ago, and I frankly enjoy the two mornings a day I get to take care of stuff without my constant sidekick. I'd say it was because she's older (2 1/2) and so clearly loves it. But all the other Moms I know seem to think its hard even when they have that same situation.... Oh well. I love my kid and my time with her, but 8 hours a week to myself is pretty nice, too.


So, um, ok then, all y'all are saying I'm within normal motherness because I feel this way about the 3 yr old, right? He cries when I drop him off, but not daddy. THANK YOU FOR THE BACKUP.


Why am i crying? Because my baby is only 5 months and i feel like this will be me in a minute. How can Ike be in preschool already!


Sooo sweet...what a cutie he is, btw :)


Just teared up then ran over and gave my freshly turned 1yo a hug and smooches. She was all "get off me woman I'm playing" so that didn't help.

Courtney S.

Ugh. I'm over here getting teared up FOR you. But I'm glad Baby...excuse me...TODDLER Ike is doing so well with the transition. So...what are you going to be doing with all your extra time? Doubling up on the showers to make up for the ones you didn't get for so many months? That's what I'd be doing...


Oh my goodness, my heart. Ugh. Preschool isn't on my radar yet, but I can't imagine how hard it will be to drop off my little sidekick.


So sweet. I miss those days. Every last one of them.


Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but I'm at my desk bawling right now. My 2 y.o. started preschool this fall and didn't even look back when I dropped him off on the first day. I can't imagine how I'll be with the car o' empty child seats when #2 starts school. Enjoy your day with the little man!

Sydney Psychologists

Oh, so sweet. The boy is so cute!


Go? Yes?


Hope you get some chubby cheeked check-ins this afternoon!


You ol' softy.

Speaking of ridiculous, my 3 year old and her dad are going to their first Father-daughter dance this Saturday. I am so cuted out and excited. I'm a little embarrassed about how excited I am, since I'm not going.


Is Ike in the toddler program at Montessori? My son is almost two and we're looking at pre schools now. Montessori is crazy expensive, so I'm wondering if it's worth it at such a young age.


@Erin - Honestly, around here Montessori is pretty competitively priced with regular preschools (which are ALL crazy expensive). Plus Ike gets a 10% sibling discount. AND he's only going two days a week. It basically comes out to be similar to what we'd pay a nanny for those hours, but Ike's getting a lot of good social experience.

We really love our Montessori school for Ezra and I like the toddler program's approach to teaching the toddlers how to do things themselves, clean up after themselves, etc. Plus the class is very calm and quiet AND THEY POTTY TRAIN THEM. Apparently the teacher is known as the Potty Whisperer, because every child she's ever taught has potty trained within a few months. WHAT.


Yeah, I have moments of, "Ha! He still loves me best!" with our babysitter. She is a full time sitter and we love her. I am happy he is so happy with her. But I even more happy that he is more happy with me.


Amalah, you are so lucky they'll potty train. The 2 year olds at our Montessori MUST be potty trained. HOW.


he is the cutest thing ever and his teeth are just so adorable and tiny. love him!


My oldest starts kindergarten in August (year round school kicks a$$!!!), my older daughter will take his place in his three-day-a-week all-day preschool, and I will at home with just my younger daughter. It is all happening waaaaaayyy too fast.


I just registered my itty bitty babies, my newborn premie twins for preschool! Okay, they're 20 months now, and they'll be in the 2 year-old program for fall, but it still stabs my heart to think my tiny men will be cutting and pasting without me!

Half of me already has big plans for what I'm going to do with those 180 minutes of freedom! Then the other half of me thinks, maybe I should just keep them home for a year where they can still be mine all mine. I will not share!

Okay, I will share. But I will shed a little tear about it. How can you not?


Peace to you. I feel your pain--I took my baby to daycare an hour and a half early today because we were out of milk and I couldn't face taking the kids to the grocery store before breakfast! I figured it was the easiest way to get him fed.


Oh my god, you are so sweet. I cant get enough of you. Moremoremore :)

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