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April 2013
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June 2013

Too Soon, Man

Okay, everybody, time for some math. Ike was JUST born. Right? Maybe five, six months ago, tops. Maybe not even that long. Point is, I brought him home from the hospital YESTERDAY and now my calendar is telling that his second birthday is less than four weeks away. Whuuuut. THINGS BABY IKE WON'T DO ANYMORE: 1. Sit in a high chair 2. Take a nap, ever 3. Stay inside with me while the big kids are outside playing 4. Eat ice cream (brain freeze related reasons, long story) 5. Tolerate my attempts to thwart potty training (Humblebrag, ahoy! Right? Am worst.) He started asking to use the potty about a month ago. I have been KIND OF going along with it, albeit super inconsistently and grudgingly, because GUUHHHHH. That horrid in-between stage — where they aren't really ready to leave the house sans diaper but you don't want to backtrack, so either you never leave the house for a week or two, or you spend the entire outing terrified, while saying "DO YOU HAVE TO GO POTTY DO YOU HAVE TO GO POTTY" every 30 seconds like a deranged parrot and then the kid STILL pees all over the floor... Read more →

Girls Who Wear Glasses & Boys That Break Glasses

This post is sponsored by Rivet & Sway. So...this happened. Which was awesome. I have worn those glasses since...let's see*...before Noah was born. That means they have survived years of not only my own idiocracy, but also the infancies and toddlerhoods of two grabby, destructive children. *IT'S A VISION PUN DO U GEDDIT OHS HAI. Child number three, alas. It was just too much to ask for a simple pair of reading glasses. Especially if said reading glasses were stupidly left out on the coffee table, in plain sight and easy reach of said child. Honestly, I'm such a rookie sometimes. WHATZ THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? To be fair, though, I've been whining fairly regularly about my aging eyesight over the past year, getting headaches, squinting a lot more at screens and pages, and ever-so-casually bumping up the font size because technology, whippersnappers, my lawn and reasons. I knew it was time to get another eye exam and a new prescription, but I just didn't, thanks to my trusty ol' pair of specs being handy and pretty much close to good enough. So in a way, I did you a favor. Ur welcomes. But even after Ike snapped my... Read more →

The Most Weirdly-Specific Mother's Day Gift Guide on Earth

For the Mom Who Likes Zombies The Walking Dead Compendium One and Compendium Two Zombie Brains friendship necklace Zombie Love Portrait Plate Zombies, Run! running training app For the Mom Who Is a Drunk Corkcicle Wine Chiller Wine-dyed napkins Mustache Drink Markers Danger Zone! Wine Different wine Another variety of wine For the Mom Who Maybe Needs to Chill With the Instagram Casetagram Stitchtagram Printstagram For the Mom Who Trips & Injures Herself a Lot Foldable ballet flats LUSH Volcano Foot Mask LUSH Fair Trade Foot Lotion Advil Ice packs For the Mom Who Is Obsessed With Food SodaStream Home Soda Maker Mastering the Art of French Cooking (2 Volume Set) All the Good Eats volumes by Alton Brown Silicone prep bowls At least one good-sized Le Creuset dutch oven , unless you love her a lot, in which case you should buy her more than one size Vintage Pyrex Self-watering EarthBox kit Groove Resin iPad Stand Magnetic spice rack A super-cute apron For the Mom-to-Be Who Is Nesting Like a Motherfucker Closet organizers Custom butterfly mobile Nerdy baby nursery decor Maternity/delivery/nursing kaftans Stupid-snob-fancy boxed chocolates and a package of like, Slim-Jims For the Mom Who Has Not Given Up... Read more →

The Search for George Washington

This post is sponsored by Colonial Williamsburg. Book your stay at Whenever I take my children someplace new, I learn something new about them. You'd think I'd remember this and take them to new places more regularly, but instead I tend to overthink trips and destinations and convince myself that no, they're not old enough for that place or well-behaved enough for that one. I get bogged down in logistics (car? train? hotel? packing? gaaaaah?) and completely underestimate my kids' capacity to find something fun about...well, pretty much any place on earth. This past weekend I learned that Noah is quite the fan of George Washington. I had no idea. He ran up to every single costumed person and asked them if they knew George Washington. He chased after several older men on the off chance they were George Washington, only to be more than a little deflated to learn that they were not. I can't lie: At one point there were tears. TEARS. He wanted to meet George Washington that badly. Ezra, on the other hand... ...was much easier to please. (Though that still didn't stop Jason from spoiling him rotten at the gift shop, with a COMPLETELY... Read more →

Seven Years in Exile

Every other Wednesday I now go to An Office. Primarily so I can attend A Meeting. It is A Team Meeting, with members of My Team, who are all fellow grown-ups who spend multiple days a week in An Office, and who (as far as I can tell) manage to leave their homes on a regular basis while running little to no risk of injuring themselves on curbs, doorknobs or travel mugs of coffee. I am getting better at that last part, I swear. Just give me a couple more Wednesdays. To be fair, it's been seven years — almost to the DAY, actually — since I said goodbye to my office (and its accompanying office job). Seven years! No wonder I am rusty. Seven years of working from home, with no commute and no cubicles. No business casual clothing or someone else brewing the pots of coffee or a supply closet that was always magically stocked with my favorite red pens. Seven years. Fat. Hot. Ham. It took me a few years to really figure out what worked (part-time childcare, showering and getting dressed every day, email/internet ban outside of set working hours) and what didn't (using TV as... Read more →