Monkey v. 3.0

Naps Are Wasted On The Young

Thank you, thank you for all your comments, suggestions and general nap-madness commiseration yesterday.

I ended up going with an improvised Option 4, which consisted of:

1) Letting Ike fall asleep in car, as expected, around 3:00 p.m.

2) Transferring him to the crib once we got home.

4) Stomping LOUDLY outside his door around 5:00 p.m.

5) Creeping into his room shortly after and making some sneaky background noise: sliding a laundry basket around, opening and closing the closet doors, stacking books back on a shelf. 

6) Creeping back out the instant his head lifted off the mattress like a Ninja Poltergeist Housekeeper.

7) Heading downstairs to start dinner.

8) Wait for it...

9) Wait for it...

10) Oh look! Ike woke up! "All on his own," too! WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.

So it wasn't a very long nap (by his standards), but by changing up the waking process I sucessfully avoided the Grouchy Grouch Asshole Toddler From Hellpants mood. He was smiling when I retrieved him and only slightly clingy and whiny, and even that disappeared after a couple minutes of Transitional Cuddling.

(And you will never hear me complain about Transitional Cuddling. GIMME ALL UR CUDDLES GIANT BAYBEE.)

He ate an okay-ish dinner — a ketchup-smeared hamburger bun and all the beans he picked out of his turkey burger — then played with his brothers, had a bath and went to bed again at 8:00 p.m. without complaint. 

Today I put him in the crib around 1:30 p.m. and I think — I THINK — he is actually sleeping right now, after about 45 minutes of jumping, singing and dirty filthy lies about having to use the potty. (NO YOU DON'T, YOU PINT-SIZED MACHIAVELLIAN MASTER.)

And Jason is working from home this afternoon, which means I won't have to wake him up at 3:00 p.m. to get Ezra, which means if I carry the one and divide by Pi he will get a full nap today to make up for yesterday and bank up for tomorrow, which is going to be completely obliterated for us, nap and work-wise, thanks to the 14,000 different school Halloween parties and parades I have to drag him to all afternoon. 

(Okay, just two. But forgive the exaggeration, I'm really just very tired.)

EPILOGUE: NEVER MIND. He's still totally effing awake up there.

Photo 4




whew! it sucks when sleep routines are changed by the people that need the sleep the most!


Yup. Because it is the ONE DAY he can have a full nap, he shall not take one. It's always the way.

Danielle Cantin

Just a suggestion... maybe it's just the photo but it seems a little bright in his room. Have you tried a black-out blind?


So this is random and may not be doable at all, but what about leaving him at school until his nap is over there? We went through something similar earlier this year. I was on maternity leave with our 2nd, and thought it'd be nice to bring the toddler home early. So I'd rush to get her before they went down for a nap at school (at 12:30). She wouldn't fall asleep on the ride home, but would be all riled up. Then it would take me forever to get her ready to nap again. And, of course, right in the middle of it all, the baby would decide to scream, etc etc. And then, randomly, she asked if she could go back to napping at school because every one else got their mats ready in the morning, and she wanted to do that, too. And suddenly, the problem was solved. They only charge an extra $50 a month at our school to pick up by 3:15. All the kids wake up by around 3. And our toddler is like Ike in that she'll sleep longer if you let her, but when she's woken up by the clamor of other kids, it's no big deal, I guess. It means she never naps more than 2-2.5 hours now, but at least that's consistent now.

Maxine Dangerous

I shall take a nap in Ike's honor! :D


That photo made me actually lol :) seconding the possible light problem though. We've had to tape the blackout curtain to the wall so his bedroom is pitch black even in the height of summer.
Hugs though, dealing with sleeping woes here too. I'm sick of no sleep!


That photo of him is so stinkin cute! Who cares if he naps. Ha! Ha!
I feel for you, I do...I have 3 of my own (5 yrs and under) and the nap/school/activity shuffle is brutal.


My 4-year-olds are similarly obnoxious when they're woken by outside forces - I love your solution! And I'm so glad for you that it worked. My daughter is probably too sound a sleeper for it to work with her, but I might try it with my son...


Am I the only one who's curious about 3) in the steps above?? The Elusive 3. Where's 3?! You must tell us what Step 3 was. ::sigh::

I also highly second the black-out shades, if you don't have them already.


For fucking real, my toddler is totally awake in his crib. Not napping. At 15 months he needs that nap but by gawd two days a week we have a slightly different schedule than the rest if the week and those days jack up his whole week. Tired.


I know this doesn't help but my nonsleeper who will be 10 in 3 weeks (OMG) is currently napping. By himself. Took his happy ass right up to bed when he realized today had been toooooo much.

The 6 year old has been happily ensconced in whatever cartoon crap on TV for almost an hour.

I have managed to sew on shin guards x3 to his Halloween costume oh and do a bit of work.

Naps rule as long as I don't have to take them. I'm not a napper.


I swear you are at my house right now! My daughter is about 3 or 4 months younger than Ike and we are going through the. same. damn. thing. It's exhausting. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with napping madness.


you need either a neighbor who can run over to watch Ike for half an hour every afternoon while you do pick- up, or a fellow parent who would car pool with you... as in, you take their kids to school, they bring your kids home.

Lynda M Otvos

I have an eleven-month old who is trying to give up napping all together. Oh Help MEEEE !~!

Plano Mom

My child napped for only a year. By the time he was two, no naps. We went with the "rest your body" for a while, but had to give that up. He always needed it, just didn't sleep. Eventually he adjusted his nighttime and weekend schedule to make up for it, just like the adults. He's 15 now, and as long as I let him sleep til noon on Saturdays he's good for sleep. Try your best to get him on a schedule, but then just let the boy do his own thing. You may discover that he will work his sleep out naturally.


he is adorbs but definitely looks a little 'dazed & confused' in the totally not napping picture!


My two and a half year old, who is in no way potty trained, also pulls the "Need to pooooooooop!" shenanigans at nap time. Lies. If he really needed to, he would never tell, not if I put him in the comfy chair and poked him with cushions.

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