No One Can Resist My Treat-y Balls
More On Ike's Hairz; Ezra Be Umperprising

Ike's Hairz, A Love Story

Noah got a haircut recently — a super-short cut, "like Dad's," his request — and while the stylist efficiently and unsentimentally buzzed the majority of his hair away, she asked, "We're cutting the little one's hair today too, right?"




As if.


Not even. And no. 

Now that it's winter and there's no humidty, Ike's hair has admittedly lost most of the amazing, boing-y ringlets and mostly just kinda...flips and flops and waves around. After a bath, the curls tighten up a little, but most of the time he looks like this. Blond and shaggy with two long pieces on the sides that hang down kind of straight, probably just to drive the "cut that baby's hair already" advocates crazy with the urge to snip them off and even it out. 

I usually just twist them a little with my fingers before pushing them back behind his ears, where they temporarily blend into the rest of his wisps. I understand that not every parent gets quite so attached to their children's hair, and lots would think it's silly and futile that I'm putting his first haircut off so long, but...his hair makes me happy. His hair makes me smile. It's soft and silky. It's messy and yet rarely tangles and always smells nice. He gets the world's most tremendous bedhead and you never really know what it's going to look like after the next nap or bath or shift in the weather. Another reason why I'm inclined to just let it be: I kinda wanna see what it will do next.

Does he get mistaken for a girl? Yes and no, I guess. One time a harried cashier at McDonald's gave him a long, second look during the "SELECT GIRL TOY OR BOY TOY" part of the Happy Meal transaction (which: When did that bullshit start? How about we just let kids pick whichever damn toy they want and leave the inquiries about their genitals out of it?), and instead of asking, simply put him down for the "girl" toy. Which was actually a (blue!) Furby character, and vastly superior to the Ninja Turtle "boy" option, if you ask me.

(Or maybe he just thought the Furby was a better option for a toddler, gendered bullshit aside. My mother-in-law had just visited and clucked over Ike's hair length, so I might have been reading too much into the encounter. Especially since she's also a weeeeeee fanatical about feeding the boys nothing but health food and there I was, taking Ike to McDonald's in the first place, and wow, suddenly that entire lunch outing seems incredibly steeped with my own psychological melodrama.)

Another time a waitress asked us, "And what would she like to drink?" after taking one 15 second look at him in her peripheral vision. I said that he would like some milk; life went on and nobody died or experienced crushing embarrassment or a massive identity crisis. When I sense that a stranger in the grocery store (for example) wants to comment on him and seems to hesitate, I always volunteer his name or the correct pronoun, even if he's dressed in head to toe blue. 

To me, Ike looks like a little boy with longish hair. But hey, if you call him a "her" I ain't gonna get all het up and mad at ya. I likely ain't gonna care in the slightest. Neither will he, because he's two years old. If you ask him who he is, he will tell you "Ike." If you ask him if he's a boy or a girl, he will ignore those choices and say "baby" instead.

(Mostly because around here, big boys use the potty and babies use diapers and well, let's just say I walked right fucking into that one, all right.)

At some point, sure. I will give his hair a little trim. And at some point after that, I will let him — like Noah and Ezra — make his own decisions about his hair and clothing. And whether he prefers to be called Isaac over Ike, or if he'd really prefer if I stayed in the car in the drop-off lane where his friends can't see me. 

But for now, I just want a little more time to hold him close, on my lap, twist his curls around my fingers, and let him be my baby. 





I have been waiting all day for your wise and noble words on this matter. I too will wait- my MIL asked if my reluctance to cut my 3rd son's lovely curls was a displaced desire to have a daughter. Nice. He is a treat- as are you.


We almost without fail pick off gender for the happy meal toy. I ask each and every time what the toy is, much to the annoyance of the drive through attendant and then pick according to our interests. As far as the hair, more power to you! He looks like a Han Christian Anderson fairytale character.


You should absolutely enjoy every second of his "babyness", and his hair (which, frankly, is really amazing) and every other little thing about him because in the end, you won't regret it. Not even for a moment.


I have a friend who has a son with similar hair to Ike's, and when I see him, it makes me so happy! During their summer beach vacation, he had to wear an old-school sweatband as a headband to keep his hair out of his eyes. It was AWESOME. So Ike's hair is, well, your business, and his business. And no one else's. And the day you cut it will be a sad day for your blog readers as well!


Please, for the love of all things CUTE, do not ever cut his hairzzz because you feel pressure from anyone who isn't you or Jason. It's HAIR, not whether you're FEEDING HIM. People need to mind their business when it comes to what you do with his hair and when. If you cut it tomorrow because either you or Jason decide to, then guess what? You're the parent. If you leave it as is for another year, guess what? Kid's gonna be juuustttt fine. I think I'm worked up because I hate to hear that parents feel "outside pressure" about things that are NOT endangering their child's life. He's YOUR KID. It's just hair. Do whatever *you* think best.

(As long as it's keeping that hair uncut for, like, ever maybe.) ;-)


I have been tempted to let my 2 year-old's hair grow out but he has so may cowlicks that it is better to keep it a little longish and shaped.

I must have missed it earlier on in Ike's life but I love Isaac! What a great name. I guess I thought he was Eisenhower or something. lol.


Pfft. The stylist just wanted to get her hands on that hair. Stay strong.

Really, I'm with you. He looks like a little boy with longish curly hair.


You are making the world a more beautiful place by keeping that baby's hair long. It is gorgeous. Keep it up, we support you!


So funny - I have a 3 year old girl with short hair (often dressed in head to toe pink or sparkle) and we get the same in reverse. We were at the public library one day and an older boy - maybe 6 or 7 - kept calling her "him," actually insisting to me and her insanely protective older brother that she can't be a her, she has short hair! And her shirt is blue! After a few volleys, my son walked up to me and whispered "he just doesn't get it." She had gorgeous baby ringlety hair like Ike's...until she started teething, getting ear infections, and PULLING IT OUT AND EATING IT. Babies are gross.


I was under a dryer at the hair dresser's and my husband stopped by with the boys. Our youngest had the most adorable strawberry blonde curls in back. My husband and stylist decided to CUT OFF THE CURLS while I sat peacefully reading a magazine. My baby came over to me and I screeched at my husband "You owe me a baby and you owe me RIGHT NOW!" at which point jaws dropped all over the place, he told the stylist I would pay and he hustled those boys outta there. Yes, my baby was still adorable but he wasn't my baby any more. (Not that stops me telling my now 19 year old that he will be my baby until he's at least 90 years old).


I too will be very sad when the time comes to cut my (also last) baby's hair. He will turn 2 in 2 weeks. While his hair is nowhere near Ike-ness (my babies are always born very very bald, and it takes them ages to get hair!), it is deliciously soft, reddish, with an adorable quirky unpredictable-ness. Nobody in my house has any desire to cut it for a very, very long time! (I am also not ready for him to be a little boy, and daily fight the urge to call him "the baby"... his 4 year old sister corrected me the other day, saying "Mommy! He's not a BABY! He's a TODDLER!". fine kid, you are right, but I don't have to like it!)
All this to say: I get it. Revel in the beauty of that angelic hair for as long as you want. No justification needed.

Suzy Q

What a joy that child is!


I get twitchy whenever I see hair near people's eyes, even grow women with long bangs, but I know to keep that to myself. And yes, I hate McDonald's "boy or girl" toys. Would it really be so difficult for them to just name the toy?


I was one of those moms. The one everyone looked at with a raised eyebrow as if I was somehow creating lifelong gender confusion in my preschooler because I allowed him to keep the beautiful long blonde ringlets that he referred to as "my curls". Not 'my hair', never that. He called it his curls.
He got looks from everyone. Mostly from people admiring those blonde curls, but sometimes they'd refer to him as a 'her'. He even got to the point where he'd introduce himself by saying "Hi, I'm Joey. I'm a boy!" He liked his long hair and didn't want to cut it. He happily corrected anyone who mistook him for a girl. My own mother in law (who is a very liberal family therapist, believe it or not) told me she was afraid we were turning him gay (WTF?) by not forcing him into a gender stereotype. He stood proud with 'his curls'... until the day before he turned 5. He was tired of the time it took me to comb and, sadly, the male stereotype crap that he got from other kids at school ultimately got to him, I guess. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get misty when they cut it. I still have his gorgeous little curly ponytail. He's 6 now and my heart still breaks a little every time I look at it because he's my last baby and he'll never be that small and adorable again.

Cherish every moment of baby/toddlerhood you have with Baby Ike and don't let anyone pressure you to cut...except maybe Ike himself.


oh how i miss my seven year old's baby ringlets. I cut them off way too early and they never, ever grew back.


My son is 2.5 and I have had his hair cut a millions times now but I'm telling you, I really think I might let it grow out again because I miss his shaggy mop. Now he looks like a little boy and I miss my baby. :/


This post would give my (military) husband a heart attack. Our boys get buzz cuts in the summer and I have to fight to keep my (Ike's age) youngest boy's hair longer than 1" in the winter just so it will curl and be cute. He (also like Ike) has super pale blond thin hair and it looks better with a bit of curl and not cropped so close to his head. Our girls still barely have any hair but I'm guessing I won't get the same fight from him over leaving their hair long.


I have had the same attachment to both my daughters and sons hair. With my daughter it was totally acceptable for it to be shaggy and mullety, but for my son (who has much nicer, blond, curly hair-twin to Ike, actually) I constantly get asked when I will cut it. Luckily we live in California, and I always say we are going for the surfer look.


When I cut my little guy's ringlets off--due to his unbreakable habit of twisting his hair around his finger until it was a knotted mess--it just about killed me because I knew they wouldn't grow back. I vote for keeping Ike's as long as possible.

Before I butchered his hair, once at an Italian restaurant the owner cooed over "her," and when we politely corrected him he said something amused about the "Principessa" in Italian to one of the staff. I still occasionally call him the Principessa when he's being obstinate.

Denice Johnson

he doesn't look like a girl. keep the curls as long as you like. my neighbour's boy had them and they did not return once removed. let him be two. two is great.


I only have one baby, so far, and he has the most beautiful red hair. It's a little darker than strawberry blonde, and it shimmers in the sun. I am so jealous of his hair, because the red in my hair comes from a bottle. I waited to cut his hair until he was 14 months old, because it was getting out of control, what with the running his hands through his hair whenever he had anything messy (syrup, for example). But I miss his baby hair so, so much. He's 19 months now, but he looks like such a big boy with short hair. You keep Ike's hair as long as you want :)


Don't rush it.
His hair is amazing and you put it off as long as you want. He's your child. Ignore all the "tut tut-ing"
And when you DO...don't let them go "buzz-happy!"
Scissors only and leave it long.

Now sing it:

"Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair.
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen.
Give me down to there hair, shoulder length or longer hair
Here baby, there, momma, ev'rywhere, daddy, daddy.

Hair, hair, hair. Flow it, show it, long as I can grow it, my hair."


YES. My older one's hair wasn't that glorious blond, but it was big and loopy and I loved it to death. He had a big ringlet in front that his nanny called his "elvis curl". He was mistaken as a girl all the time, and I didn't give two shits. Combine the curls with the fact that his hair is double whorled, and the bed head was fabulous.

Now that he's 5, the haircutting people always lop it way too short and disable the waves and it makes me hulk smashy.


YES. My older one's hair wasn't that glorious blond, but it was big and loopy and I loved it to death. He had a big ringlet in front that his nanny called his "elvis curl". He was mistaken as a girl all the time, and I didn't give two shits. Combine the curls with the fact that his hair is double whorled, and the bed head was fabulous.

Now that he's 5, the haircutting people always lop it way too short and disable the waves and it makes me hulk smashy.


Ok- how much do I love that you are a baby wearing, backyard veggie garden, bake my own bread, Montessori Mom who totally eats at McDonalds. Please move to Des Moines and be my friend.

The name son is Liam (short for William) he has only ever been Liam- this year he entered 3rd grade at a new school and declares he is now "William only". His friends even call him Will. Meanwhile the family all still calls him Liam- I can not fathom calling him William even though it is I who fought so hard for that name 9 short years ago. WTF motherhood??

Lastly- Ike is a such a ham, his pics make me smile!

Wally Hartshorn

My son finally decided to get his hair cut shortly before he started 3rd grade. He was 8-years-old and for most of his life his favorite color was pink. He eventually got tired of correcting the waitresses (although he always did so in a very calm, matter-of-fact way) and announced that he wanted to have his hair cut. Here are before and after pictures. . I still miss his long hair. :-(


So there's actually a Jewish tradition not to cut a boys hair until their 3rd birthday, and then make a huge party out of it with all members of the family taking a snip, (a real barber comes afterwards to tidy it up). I have nephews who are consistently mistaken for a girl until boom, they get it cut and suddenly look about 10 years older and distinctly male. Look it up, it's called an Upsherin :) Also? For some reason the boys are always the ones that get the gorgeous locks, and the long lashes. What's up with that?


My son had super long hair too, all was blonde and curly and freakin' gorgeous. He go the whole "uh, what is it?" looks too. He's eight now and is still a pretty boy even if his hair isn't that baby fine blonde, curly stuff any more. It's dark blonde, still fine, has kind of a wave, and it's so thick with a billion different colours through it - and lush? My god. He always wants it short though so as a compromise, he's been seeing his stylist (Haha, no kidding, he has a stylist who takes him to the basin and washes his hair and gives him head massages and they look at hairdressing magazines together to decide on a style, and even his stylist is all "are you sure we're cutting it THAT short??" to me each time Daniel chooses to essentially go bald) twice a year since he was 2 and a half. He goes to hippie school now though, so that minimalist hair shit is OVAH. Kid is going to look like Fabio by this time next year. (insert an evil overlord laugh right here)


Those pictures of him are so gorgeous.

I just cut my son's shaggy curls last week. We had done trims here and there because we had to, but it had gone past precious-and-unruly into feral-looking and it was time. I told myself that his hair would have some natural wave (and it does) and the stylist tried to keep it longish for me but he is definitely a little boy now, toddler curlies all gone.

In summary, don't cut it yet. I'm sad that I felt I had to, I think I would have just rolled with it but I really did let the everyone-else pressure get to me about it.

Sassy Apple

Can't remember if I've commented on this, but I've thought it many times. Don't you think he looks like a mini-Legolas? (Lord of the Rigs, hot elf, blonde Orlando Bloom)


I have saying the following mantra all week: my kid is seven and it is her head and she is in charge of her hair" and doing my best to ignore the giant rat's nest on th back of her head. I miss baby hair. I miss my baby.
My other baby has bolted from all things girly because those are "for . She wears mostly boys Batman shirts and Batman colors (black, grey, the occasional blue. Her hair is in a bob. People call her a boy, she doesn't care. People call her Batgirl, she corrects them: Batman. She's four. Who cares? She's happy.


Don't cut it!!!! It is so magical.
My boy is 4.5, and has very similar crazy hair. Its not blonde, and has a bit more curl, but you never really know what its going to do next.
He loves it, he's had trims, but he proudly tells people he has crazy hair and he wants to keep it long.
We get the girl thing from time to time, but he's not bothered by it. We live in Los Angeles, near Venice, crazy long man hair is pretty normal.


It works the other way too, my two daughters had pixie cuts one summer and everyone thought they were boys, in spite of the fact they were wearing distinctly girlish clothes. This was in the Beatles' heyday, so I guess that's what caused the stupidity.

My son was born with a lovely full head of blonde hair, and when he was SIX WEEKS OLD, my husband (now my ex-husband, for other reasons, but this didn't help) took him to a barber and got him a "jarhead" haircut, almost shaved on the sides with a thatch of hair on top. There were tears.


So my daughter didn't have any hair at all till she was about one and she then only grew it I the front of her head. My neighbor was watching her for half an hour one day and when I went over there she had CUT my baby's bangs because "they were getting in her eyes"!!!


I totally feel ya on this one. I've had 4 kids and 2 of them had curls like this. It's just so lovely. I finally caved, like a wuss, when my son started doing the stereo-typical girl hair flip to get it out of his eyes. Cutting it made me feel like my heart was just going to snap in two. I kept it all, like a true weirdo. It's still in my little box of memento's in it's little plastic bag. I know it won't last forever but it still assuages my sentimental foolishness over those adorable curls. I see no harm in letting those curls just be. :D They're definitely smile inducing.


My son had to have his first haircut at 13 months ish because he has his daddy's beautiful thick, curly blonde hair and my crazy sensitive skin so when it gets to a certain point it gives him eczema around his ears. We do keep it long ish though, and I finally found a hairdresser who will trim it back but not butcher it so now we have beautiful crazy bedhead with no eczema. Woman is smart though - means we have to go back more often! Husband has long hair though so we're used to dealing with people telling him to cut his hair and ignoring them!

My baby is a girl so I'm not cutting her hair ever! We'll tie it back, anything! I'm frantically hoping she gets her daddy's hair too, cause mine is just limp and thin. And that would be cruel!


Aw. Sweet baby. I wish my two-year-old would want to be a baby. But she's a big kid. I love Ike's hair to death, and I haven't cut my daughter's which is getting really long (except she has bangs). It's adorable, and she doesn't like haircuts, and its not hard to maintain this way, so why would I? What's up with those people who get all antsy about whether you've cut your toddler's long hair yet? Why do they care?


I have girls, this is not an issue for us- my kids get to keep their hair with no complaints from anyone, lol. But- Best friend has a son, Timmy. When Timmy was small, he had gorgeous, thick, bronze colored curls. Ringlets even. His hair was left to its own devices, and was just to his shoulders when dry. Best friend had a rough third pregnancy and took a nap, with husband home. Husband walked up the driveway to check the mail. Timmy found older sister's scissors. Buzzcut ensued. Even that was gappy and messed up, kiddo had gotten scissors down to the scalp. He turned into a big boy immediately, and Best Friend still sometimes weeps over the curls. (keep Ike away from scissors)


I hear the same thing about my 2 year old all.the.time. His hair is more curly than Ike's but has been turning into dreadlocs in the back because the weather is so dry and he hates getting his hair washed. Every time I start to seriously consider cutting it, someone obnoxiously tells me that I have to cut it and I stubbornly think "the hell I do" and it stays uncut. Keep fighting the good, long haired boy fight!




I love his hair, Amy, and you take your time with anything you want to when it comes to your little one. It goes by way too fast anyway no matter what you do and you don't get to redo one second of it, anyway. Enjoy your scrumptious little boy! And when he's up from his nap, I fully plan to give mine a squeeze and bury my face in his teeny-baby-boy hair :-)


Love his hair. I recently HAD to cut my three year old's beautiful angellic baby curls off becuase they were getting in the way of his "big boy" activities like riding his four wheeler and swinging (every time he'd go back, his hair would fly in his face). So like any responsible (read cray cray) mom, I cut his hair myself so I could bag ALL those preshus curls up into a Ziploc - judgement free.

I cut my oldest's hair way sooner than I was ready to becuause my husband got upset that an old man at the bank thought he was a girl - my oldest - not my husband. I've always regretted it. Can I help it that I make such incredibly good looking children that their baby curls make them look like girls - even when dressed in dark blue/camo (we live in the South)

Anyway, good for you. Stay strong. Don't cut until HE'S ready. :)


Ah, what a relief. I was afraid I would scroll down and see photos of baby Ike sporting a buzz cut. Keep his little cherub curls as long as possible!


I totally regret cutting my boy's hair at 6 months. It was just so greasy looking though (maybe cuz it was dark brown?), but I should left it and continue to grow wild. When he was born, he had the most amazing natural faux hawks.

I also didn't make the gender thing any easier by adding a teething necklace; )


I forgot Ike's given name was Isaac. This reminds me that I subconsciously named my now 18mo son after your son. Imitation=flattery, right? :) ps- love his hair.


We recently moved my grandma into an assisted living facility. While we were cleaning out her house we found an envelope with my Dad's curls from his first haircut. The 55 year old hair didn't look that old, kept its color, and kept its curl. But still, gross, just gross.

Kim W.

Hey, do you have any trouble keeping his hair out of his eyes? I have three boys, and now a girl, and didn't really have this problem before, I guess because the boys had more wave or curl in their hair, but now my daughter's hair is in her eyes constantly and she WILL NOT let me put a barrette or anything in. We have even used elmers glue in desperation during craft time. It worked for a few days until the next washing. Jam works too. Anyway... Toddlers! Geez.


This is my son at that age (I gave in and had some cuts by then though; guess what: curls come back stronger with less weight!): I say rock that long hair as long as he's happy with it. Who cares what others think :)


Ah, you scared me for a second.
Keep his hair!
My youngest turns three next week and I trimmed his hair for the first time a couple of weeks ago. There's no waves or ringlets, very straight, a little longer than Ike's. And he doesn't have a fringe, it's all grown out to almost the same length as the rest. And I love it! I'm in no way cutting it. It neded a trim because the middle part in the back was getting so much longer than the rest so it looked very thin. Now it looks awesome at the same length.
He is also a tow head.
He usually isn't mistaken for a girl, sometimes if he also has nail polish, or a tutu, or both, or an elastic in his hair, or whatever else his sisters throw at him.
But he looks like a boy with long hair, like Ike. And the few times he is mistaken for one it doesn't matter. He doesn't care. He splits people into "penises" and "ginas" anyway, not boys and girls.


His hair is like your own little weather barometer. When you get up in hte morning & ask 'what is the weather doing outside?' Instead of looking out the window you just need to check the curls on Ike's head! :)


Someone might have already said this - maybe its time for product, at least during the winter? Something organicish, safe, etc? Some type of "curl booster?" I have curly hair - and there are times of the year I absolutely need product or I look like a wet rat....


@Kim W= I have two girls that were born with too much hair. If you want it to stay out of her face, get the teeeny tiny latex band elastics- goody makes some- about as big around as your finger, and put it up pebbles style on top of her head. Or pull it over to the side. It is the ONLY thing that I could ever get to stay in without a kid pulling it out (choking hazard for barrettes and whatnot) Put it in reasonably tightly and snip the band at the end of the day.


My younger son had hair very much like Ike's when he was a baby and a toddler, and he was often mistaken for a girl. In fact there were days when I was so tired that I almost mistook him for a girl. Sadly, he lost his curls around 3.5 but he remains a mop top for sure. Currently he's trying to grow a mullet which is totally acceptable because he's ten and we're Canadian, so hockey hair it is. He's older brother prefers a number 2 buzz and always has. I figure they can express themselves through their hair - piercings and tattoos are off the table!


I hope you're posting pics of Noah and Ezra so we can see their "like Daddy" cuts. And Ike's hair is adorable!


I think he looks like a boy. But then I realized that might be because I already *know* he's a boy, so for the sake of experiment I turned the laptop toward my husband and asked "boy or girl?" He guessed girl but was on the fence for a good 5 seconds before answering. It doesn't matter. He's cute either way.


We still haven't cut our 2 year old boy's hair either. I love your posts about Ike's hair because it makes me feel less weird about it. :)

p.s. How did I not know Ike's full name was Isaac?! That name has always been high on my boy name list, but H keeps vetoing it.


I LOVE HIS HAIR! I didn't want to give either my son or daughter haircuts-- they had SUCH sweet curls. My daughter is almost three and we've never cut her hair. Which is crazy long and usually has yogurt in it, and a kind of swamp-creature aesthetic, because she always yanks out her braids and pony tails. But it's been three years and I can't POSSIBLY cut her hair now, right?

Amy Jo

I am so with you on this. My almost 3 year old only got his first haircut in the fall, because his hair was tooooooo perfect. Long, golden and wavy perfection. Anyone and everyone had an opinion about the lack of haircuts, but I was firmly in the 'no haircuts!' Camp. I only caved when cold season reared it's ugly head and the beautiful hair became a convienent place to hide his snot.


My son's hair is stick straight and I've been cutting it at least since he was two. I might have felt differently if there were curls involved but our family is not blessed that way.


My baby, also 2, has wonderful golden curls that go everywhere. A few weeks ago, as we waited for a seat at a restaurant, a guy turned around, got his wife's attention, and said (pointing at my baby) "HE LOOKS LIKE A SURFER KID!" All I could think was, he gets it.

Eager for milestones, I cut my first son's hair as soon as he would let me. Now it doesn't grown down, it grows out--stick straight brown hair that always looks as if he's got static. I always wonder what might have been.


In my culture, we cut the hair of baby in the 7 premiere days to be more stronger.

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