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A Case of the Mondays That Lasts All the Way To Friday

I'm having blogger's block, I think. (It's like writer's block, only more second tier and hacky.) I blame the weather. It's spring and it's freezing and there's snow on the ground and my phone keeps buzzing with ARCTIC SQUALL NOR'EASTER WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE alerts. 

It's making me exceedingly grumpy and I don't feel particularly "funny." 

Like, my minivan's battery died on Monday, stranding me and Noah about a half hour from home, but thanks to our particular minivan's state-of-the-art rocket-computer-car-from-the-future-ness, I learned that instead of — oh, I don't know — turning on the battery indicator light to tell me the battery was dead, the car's computer basically freaked out and turned on ALL of the indicator lights and several beeping alarms, while also flashing random conflicting warnings on the info screen about the car's anti-lock brakes failing, insufficient fluid levels and a busted VSC system (whut?). 

Now, usually that's the sort of thing I can easily drama-queen into a longform tantrum of madcappery and fail. But then the next day it fucking snowed again and the grumpiness took over and I couldn't work up the energy to give a shit. It was just the goddamn battery. It needed a jump, Jason drove over with the jumper cables, and then everything was fine. THE END.

(On the plus side, I now know that 1) VSC stands for Vehicle Stability Control, and 2) my minivan is not particularly good in the face of a mild crisis and has no problem-solving skills whatsoever. "Oh no! The battery is dead! Panic! Sound the alarms! All of the alarms! LOUD NOISES! I don't know what to do so I'm just going to set my hair on fire and run around really fast!")

I've taken on a couple new work/freelance projects that I'm very excited about, but I still have an unprecedented amount of free time during the day — for the first time in forever (compulsively bursts into That Song, weeps) my childcare/nap hours exceed my work obligations. This isn't helping my mood either, since it leaves me feeling oddly useless and unmoored. I don't know what to do with myself, and I can't stop feeling like I should be doing something. 

I put a load of laundry in and stare at the machine for a bit, then go upstairs and wander around, rearranging candles and tchotchkes. I check for news about Flight 370 over and over. My kids' toys have never been more organized. "I should write a book," I say to myself a few times a day, then remember I don't have any real ideas for a book (everybody wants YA fiction; I have no idea how to write YA fiction; I don't think a dystopian futuristic hellscape made out of Lego and Thomas the Tank Engine is what the publishers are talking about). So I play a game on my phone for awhile instead. I'm exercising multiple times a day — hoping against hope that ONE DAY, spring and summer will come and I'll thank my ass for at least attempting to shed a long winter's worth of fat and carbo-pelt. We've been eating dinner almost absurdly early, just because by 4:30 I'm completely out of things to do and figure I might as well start cooking.

(Latest dinnertime I-can't-believe-everybody-ate-that victory: salmon with lentils, leeks and mustard-herb butter. Sounds fancy but was ridiculously easy, and we had zero leftovers because everybody wanted seconds and thirds of the lentils. LENTILS! Dear children, you are weirdos, but I love you.)

I guess I sound kind of depressed, even though I'm not, really. I'm just...bored. Kinda antsy. I'm so beyond ready for spring and sun and to finally pack up all the mittens and hats and to not trip over discarded snow boots every time I walk into my house. It's gotta happen soon, right? 




I feel you on the need for spring. I keep trying to find reasons to leave the house because "omg I'm trapped!" I just wish we could have an afternoon at the park. Also not depressed but blahhhh...


Ahh my car did that to me too! I was 5 months pregnant and my husband had to drive all the way from his work an hour away to save me, then we had to drive another hour home. It was a long day and I was a swollen, grumpy mess by the time we got home. What's the deal with the panic alarms when it's just the damn battery?!?!?

I'm right there with you on the boredom, except I'm kind of just procrastinating the extreme amount of cleaning I have to do before my son's first birthday in two weeks. I really, REALLY, don't want to vacuum between the couch cushions and scrub the floors. Bleh!!


*hands you a chunk of spring from Az*


Please, please tell me that your sudden free time does not mean you aren't writing the Advice Smackdown, because I love it.

Winter is killing me, too. Snow flurries yesterday. WTF.


@Don'tBlameTheKids The opposite, actually! A corporate freelancing gig got put on pause for a couple months (at most, I HOPE) so I'm back to writing the Advice Smackdown THREE WHOLE TIMES A WEEK! M/W/F, like the good old days.

Turns out that bossing people around just doesn't take up as much time as you'd think.


So much I could say here, but instead I'm glomming onto the lentils, because: yes, wtf? My mom was here visiting and made all kinds of delicious foods: fried chicken, steaks, pasta, whatever. All of which my kids my kids refused. But the (vegan) lentil soup? Seconds. THIRDS. So confused.


Come to California? Surely someone needs you? How about a sitcom;). Love you always.

Sue C

LOL! This is called cabin fever. Wait till they all go off to college. Then empty house syndrome REALLY hits! We adjusted very quickly though.


I told my husband the other day that i couldn't get this .gif out of my head because its exactly how i feel sometimes when i'm home with my toddler

I work part-time, but don't really have enough free time (read: inspiration) to do anything else creative, or interesting. I'm totally there with you, although i did just start reading Gone Girl, and have found that to be a wonderful distraction from the boredom and eternal winter.


We should plan lunch! And pedicures! Remember when we got pedicures before Ezra was born! That was awesome.


So damn true. And I'm stealing the title here to describe weeks like that. I actually am dealing with some depression and having a crappy week at work and I really, really just want spring to come.

That being said, enjoy the free time you have. Read, paint your nails, take a nap. You'll miss it when things pick up again.


Please write a book! A memoir style one!

I just read "Lets Pretend This Never Happened" (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson AKA The Bloggess… and I about peed my pants laughing.

I'd love to read about your life and childhood with your unique sense of humor. (Think about it, you could have an entire chapter dedicated to your various high heel tripping accidents!)

Just a thought in case you've got a book inside you.


Maybe...volunteer with a charity?

Jessica V.

Oooh - I'm in the same "blah - cabin fever" boat. (And I live in Southern California, where we didn't get a winter at all.) My blahs are less weather related and more due to having been working from home a TON over the last few weeks due to multiple viruses, home projects that required I be here to let the painters in, and other responsibilities that require me to cut the commute (fortunately, my company is totally cool about flexible schedules). Plus I'm stuck on a fitness plateau, which is frustrating as hell. Mostly I'm tired of being sick, tired of being in my house, anxious over stupid shit and just...blech. Spring is here, but having the time to enjoy it really can't happen soon enough.



A lovely problem to have, but still a problem.


Things to do when bored: watch Orphan Black and The Americans (if you haven't already.) Do a Buffy re-watch.


I have the same feeling right now, despite having a million things to do at work and a very messy house. I agree- it's a need for Spring and outside and gardening and stuff.


Time to bust out that sewing machine!! The internet is chock full of sewing enthusiasts with easy to follow tutorials, and looking at all the projects has been a serious time suck for me. Bonus huge feeling of accomplishment seeing my kid play with the random stuff I've sewn. There are a bunch of kid robe patterns which are pretty easy and forgiving in terms of mistakes since they're supposed to fit big. Hang in there!


No truer words. Bored...and kind of antsy...
Spring needs to just get here already, I know that would solve 70 percent of my problems.


My favorite thing to do when I have spare moments is STOCK THE FREEZER STOCK THE FREEZER THE APOCALYPSE IT COMESSSSSS. Breakfast oatmeal bars, your pancakes, breakfast wraps, soups, pulled pork.
I would love to see more of your recipes!!!


I get it, I totally get it, that feeling of "Wait, I should be doing something!" It's ok to stumble around in a non-productive fashion for a bit, possibly even to devote some time to self-care. At least, that's what my therapist has been telling me. :)


Hi Amy! I agree with you. Longest. Winter. Ever! I have 3 boys too. I love reading your blog! A friend of mine turned me onto you because my oldest son has been diagnosed with ASD. My middle son exhibits more symptoms than my we expect to get that news another day in the future. It's great to read and relate to someone else, and feel like you are not alone in your struggles or your triumphs. I just started my own blog, Adventures in Boy Land, for that reason. Sometimes it's just great to know that, even though it can feel like it, you aren't alone and you have support. So thanks! Totally jealous of the lentils!!! You rock! Throw some food whisperer secrets my way! My older 2 boys are so picky about what they eat, and that trickles down to my youngest. Good luck with the case of the antsy pants! I'm praying Spring brings it's fresh air and good times to stay any day now! I'm ready to live outside, happily watching the boys play and grow!


Time to move to Southern California, Land of Eternal Spring? Outdoor malls... Disneyland... Legoland? ;)


I envy the free time, but I completely sympathize. I was commenting to my husband recently about how our 5 month can't seem to relax, and he said "gee, wonder where he gets it from." And I was surprised, because I don't think of myself that way and would (theoretically) love some down time. But when faced with downtime I inevitably FILL IT UP with things to do. I can't help my damn self. Anyway, point being, if you must do, write a book! You're hilarious. I'd totally buy it. And add it to my list of things to read. :)


I'm in Jersey, so I can totally relate. It's not lack of things that could be done (f$%& you, JHG), it's just been the longest winter ever, and I'm pretty sure glaciers are going to start moving in. I know you're interested in gardening - I'm putting in pea, spinach, lettuce, and carrot seeds this weekend under a floating row cover. Also, check out DIY seedtape for a little project. I also have plans this weekend to burn some "Sun and Sand" Yankee Candles and play island music on Pandora (uh, how exactly does one find island music? Is that what it's called? The stuff with the steel drums or whatever?). I'll just close my eyes and pretend it's warm.



Does that help? 'Cause its all I got :)


What do you MEAN publishers aren't looking for a: " a dystopian futuristic hellscape made out of Lego and Thomas the Tank Engine"?? I would SO love that book and so would my YA's.


Carbo-pelt? Fantastic!


As a former YA editor, I think you should write a YA romance - your voice is perfect for it.


I really logged in to say WTF, JHG? Besides that, I desperately need spring to come. I am trying to be patient since with spring comes spring breakup & husband will be out of work for awhile, but at the same time, I'm so blah. Spring, where are you???


I think "drama-queen into a longform tantrum of madcappery and fail" might be my favorite turn of phrase ever. :)

Lynda M Otvos

NorCal is finally seeing a bit of rain after the driest winter I've seen in fourteen years. Such a protracted dry season puts a damper on the flowers blooming and the reservoir refilling but it does make for nice winter weather.

Melissa H

Oddly enough I only "know"you online but have been working on a book project and wishing I could collaborate with you on one aspect of it. The book is patterns and information to make/sew/build tools to help kids with sensory issues. You write so well about noah i keep wanting to email you but not sound like a stalker. Now I am totally going to email you. Hang on need to get off phone and onto computer ;)


Right. It will come, warmth. I say this to you because I need to believe it myself. The constant cold and dreariness do make it difficult to muster up anything beyond cursory interest in...everything. So sure, it sounds depressed, but you bet your bacony butt (what?) that once the sun is consistently showing up, the hills will be alive. Sound of Music meets your Frozen earworm because stahp.


Hilarious! I love the snake and hypnotize you phrase. I guessing all those cartoons and maybe the "Jungle Book" had some influence.

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