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June 2014
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August 2014

The Threeiest Three to Ever Three

Age three. Not exactly my jam, historically speaking. And just over a month in to Age Three, Round Three, I am hereby declaring Ike the undisputed champion of Being Three. Everywhere, it's destruction. Innocent, well-meaning, utter destruction. An entire spice container of mustard seeds, rolling across the kitchen floor. A roll of plastic wrap, unspooled. An important piece of mail, snipped up with the safety scissors. Crayon scribbles on his bedroom door, an uncapped marker in his bed, eyeliner masterpieces on my good pillow shams. And every time, an wide-eyed, innocent face. "What?" he asks. In between the destruction, there are little piles of discarded clothing all around the house and a naked child streaking past. It started because I used to insist on putting his underwear on the right way, with the design on his butt, and he'd get so furious at not being about to see the Hulk or Iron Man or whatever that he'd strip as soon as I got distracted to turn it around. (Dear Toddler Underpants Makers: STOP PUTTING THE PICTURES ON THE BUTTS.) I finally gave up and let him wear his underwear backwards, but the habit stuck, I guess. "I'm not naked," he... Read more →

Go To The Mattress

I got my hair done last weekend. I'd gotten it into my head that I wanted to go back to blonde, and so I did. I don't want to talk about it. (I don't liiiiiike iiiiiit. It's just not me anymore. I'm no more a natural blonde than I am a natural redhead — at least any shade of blonde anyone would actually want, unless you dig a blonde so ashy and washed out you look like you've gone gray. "Dishwater blonde," I believe it would be called if it came in a box. But of course it doesn't come in a box, because it's a terrible color. So I got blonde highlights over it and tried to give it a few days to grow on me and I think it looks fake and try-hard and wait, I said I don't want to talk about it.) ANYWAY. Moving on. This is not a story about my hair, but rather a super-funny thing I saw on the way back from the salon one time. But not this past time. A time a few months ago, and I don't know why I didn't write about it when it happened. Because it definitely... Read more →


Jason and the boys are pretty into the World Cup. I am...sometimes in the room while the games are on. I can appreciate the whole thing — especially if we're out viewing it at a family-friendly dining establishment that boasts an excellent beer selection and decent fries, so I can feel like we're all bonding while also stuffing my face for 90+ solid minutes — but my overall enthusiasm for/interest in soccer remains at this level: But watching the games has definitely sparked the boys' (previously tepid-to-nonexistent) interest in the game, and they've been dragging the soccer goals and ball out regularly for their own World Cup tournament. This is the World Cup, BTW: I don't know. But it's a very big deal. (I also like how Ezra insists on wearing a proper soccer jersey, but neither of them will listen to my suggestion that they wear proper shoes, no matter how many times the stupid Crocs go flying farther than the ball.) The competition is fierce, yet wildly, unevenly matched. The concept of letting your little brother score just one measly goal, come on, man, have a heart is not one that Noah is familiar with or interested in,... Read more →