There and Back Again

Obligatory Monday Check-In Because BLOG, Damn You, BLOG!

So what is going on with me? Why do I keep disappearing? Where do I even go? What happened to my seemingly infinitely endless capacity to talk about myself?

I don't know. Work is pretty busy. Okay, really busy. And life is pleasantly monotonous. I'm switching closets over to fall/winter and am unprepared to deal with the actual number of closets that involves now. I took Ezra to the dentist last week and then spent the rest of the day nursing a thrashy head-butt bruise with an ice pack while starting at the ceiling like a shellshocked zombie.

("Does he have any SENSORY ISSUES?" the hygienist asked me, as Ezra proceeded to flip the fuck out for 20 agonizing minutes straight. "No," I said, while attempting to gently hog-tie him to the chair with my own limbs. "Except for THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, apparently.")

We saw Gone Girl over the weekend but arrived late and had to sit in the front row and my neck is still killing me, plus Jason has a cold with the number-one side effect of breathing so loudly at night he wakes me up and I get to spend hours lying awake, trying to ignore something he can't help while also fighting the urge to kick him in the shins and/or thwack him with a pillow. 

And then Ike woke up from a nightmare — a nightmare that involved me eating all his ice cream. This was so upsetting he cried himself back to sleep on Jason's side of the bed because he was too angry with me. I was sympathetic and all, but child, I stayed up late and watched that killer clown on American Horror Story all by myself, so forgive me if I hastag your ice cream dream as #3yearoldproblems.

God, I'm tired.

Ezra turns six on Wednesday. God, I'm old. 



Ike's nightmare and subsequent reaction is my favorite part of this. #3yearoldproblems for SURE.


So what did you think of Gone Girl?

Sue W.

So i need your opinion of Gone Girl. I think I am the only person on the planet who had not read the book, so I did not know what to expect. Totally blew me away! I am still thinking about it a week later. I even bought the book!
What the hell are you talking about that The Mighty Za is gonna be 6? Is he cooking his own birthday dinner?
Hope Jason gets to feeling better.

Suzy Q

I hope Jason has tried Breathe Right strips. They are sooo helpful to me.

Ezra, 6? The fuck?


Love to read anything you write, Amy! Maybe a quickie weeknight healthy recipe post? Yes? Hardly take even a minute......... hopeful smile?


Haaaa! My 3 year old woke up crying the other night after having a dream in which I apparently took a puzzle away from him? He's been mad at me ever since. #3yearoldproblems


I completely understand life being pleasantly monotonous. This is the time to recover from previous hectic years and store up reserves for future hectic years.

On a separate note, hope the bruise is better/gone now!


Ummm NO. Ezra is three, and Baby Ike is 1. Because: Baby. Obviously. *Ignores reality and hums loudly to self*


Okay, two things.
1. On Ezra turning 6: I started reading your blog just before he was born, so WOW that was fast.
2. PLEASE, having a child turn 6 does not make you old. My baby just turned 17. My baby. You can call yourself old when Ike is 17...


Wait, I'm sorry, WHO is six??? Because Ez is just a wee three year old, FYI. Also, that is an amazing nightmare. I love how he was still so angry with you.


Agree with some of the others - the ice cream nightmare story (every bit of it) was awesome. Including the hashtag (and #ihatehashtags #usespacespeople)


Amen, @Liz. My baby is 17, too. And a senior in high school. I reserve the right to freak the hell out about this.
But Ezra--6? No f-ing way.


I'm sorry I'm laughing at you but it's out of love.


What the fuck is it with three year olds and their ridiculous nightmares?!? You want to laugh at them, except they're so upset, and also, totally woke you up at 3am.


What they said. EZRA is three, not Ike. Duh.

Happy birthday, Ezra!!!

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