How To Get Lipstick Off of a Cat
Ike & Delilah

Best Performance by a Supporting Baby Tooth

I am so angry about The LEGO Movie Oscar snub right now I can't even finish this sentence. Except that I guess I did. Oh. Okay. Moving on.

***

Ezra has his very first loose tooth — a much-anticipated event, marred by the fact that it announced its looseness with a fairly large amount of blood.

"MY TOOTH IS FALLING OUT!" he wailed from the top of the stairs last night, over and over again, in a panicked, screeching voice. 

(Ezra's personal attention-seeking flavor of Middle Child Syndrome is high-pitched Theatrical Wailing/Shrieking. About everything. All the time. It's great.)

I went to investigate and aaaaahhhhhhhhhh Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh AAAAHHHHHHH there was blood all over his face and hands. 

NOTHING bleeds more profusely than a tiny, inconsequential wound to that child's face or mouth, by the way. When Ezra was a klutzy toddler he'd trip and faceplant on things, which would bash his gums or send his teeth into his inner lip, and by the time he stood back up it was already a scene from a horror movie. To this day most first aid efforts with Ezra typically involve 15 minutes of just trying to find where all the blood is even coming from, followed by 10 minutes of explaining that no, I'm sorry, I can't put a Band-Aid on your gums or tongue. 

Or on a tooth, in this case. We cleaned him up, calmed him down, and discovered the tooth isn't even ready to come out yet. It's just being a dick. 

***

Heh. Dick tooth. Dick poop. Great, now I'm pissed about The LEGO Movie all over again. 

Comments

Dawn

Word. That snub was bullshit man. Everything is decidedly not awesome in Bricksville today.

Dori

Oh my God. I don't know how I'll survive when my boy starts losing teeth. I have nightmares about loose teeth already. I.Can't.Even.No.

Also, we have the same face falling, blood everywhere issue. It's superfun.

chelsea rabbit

My 5 year old landed mouth first on the coffee table last night. So. Much. Blood.
We narrowly avoided needing stitches, but, yeah... Those front 2 teeth are kind of loose, so we'll see how long they stay.
His dramatic cry? "All my teeth are going to fall out, and then I'm going to die"

And I don't even want to talk about the Lego Movie snub, Dick Poop indeed

JenVegas

Just came to say that I agree, the LEGO Movie snub has me all pissed off and annoyed with the world today too. BAH!

rebecca

Everything is def NOT awesome in brickland today. Idiots.

Kate

My about to become a middle child daughter is already extremely theatrical (she takes after her aunt) so I'm a little terrified about what might happen after her little brother is born. I'm sort of hoping that being the only girl will offer a little protection from the worst of the middle child syndrome's effects. One can always hope, right?

Mona

It's crazy how much the teeth bleed- I didn't remember that at all, so when my oldest lost his first I was all "yick!"

I think I have the only kids on the planet who did not care for the Lego Movie. Oh how I tried to get them interested, but nope. Perhaps they are future Academy voters.

nicole

Oh middle child theatricality is a thing outside of our house, I am glad to know this.

I do not do well with bleeding child faces/ mouths, I cannot look, and shove an open freeze pop in their direction. Usually at the end of that things are ok.

Jenn S.

random idea i read somewhere if your kiddos freak out at the sight of all that blood: have red washcloths on hand to grab & soak it up with. then they can't see the blood.

joyce

my mom would always ley me rinse my mouth with cold water. it stoos the bleeding quite fast even though of course water may make thungs seem worse at first. i was never a squeamish girl though.

Arnebya

Confession: we own The LEGO Movie. I have yet to watch The LEGO Movie. The kids adore it. I suck. (I'm also the squeamish one. I can deal with blood but the actual removal of the tooth? Nope. I can't deal with vomit either. Shit, now I want to vomit on the hypothetical vomit I just envisioned.)

Arnebya

Wait, I just read Jenn's comment and now I'm imagining forgetting the wash the red washcloths and they're all soaked in blood and we don't remember and we wash our faces and OMG I HATE MY BRAIN.

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