Underemployed and LOVING IT
How to Measure a(n Almost) Year

41 Days 'Til 4 Years Old

Why I have to get out of bed?

Because it's time to get dressed.

Why you tell me to get dressed?

Because it's time for school.

Why it time for school?

Get dressed, Ike.

Why you tell me to get dressed?

Because it's time. For. School.

Why it time for school?

***

Why you not give me a waffle?

I am. It's in the toaster.

Why it in the toaster?

Because it's frozen.

Why it frozen?

Because it was in the freezer.

Why it in the freezer?

Because it's a frozen waffle. From a box.

Why it from a box?

Because I'm lazy.

Why you lazy?

Because you're literally sucking away my life force on a daily basis, Ike.

Why I doing that?

I DON'T KNOW OMG.

***

Why your hair is wet?

Because I took a shower.

Why you take a shower?

Because I was dirty.

Why you dirty?

Because I don't wake up looking as naturally adorable as you.

Why you don't wake up like that?

Because I am not Beyoncé

Why you not Beyoncé?

Good question.

***

Why you not letting me eat my breakfast?

Because you had an hour to eat your breakfast, and now it's time to go.

Why it time to go?

(internal screaming)

Why you putting my shoes on?

(bleeding from brain)

Why I can't eat breakfast?

You did eat breakfast. Just not all of it.

Why I not eat all of it?

(massive neurological incident)

Why you not letting me go to kindergarten?

Because you're three.

Why I three?

Because God is testing me.

Why God is testing you?

Take your lunch box, Ike.

Why I need my lunch box?

I don't know. Maybe because you didn't eat all your breakfast.

Why I not eat...

Go out the door, Ike. Now please. 

Why is door?

42. THE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION GOING FORWARD IS 42.

20150419_174304695_iOS

 

Comments

Wendy

Awesome deal! $42 for that cutie? I'll take him! :)

Wendy

But whyyyyyyy?

liz

Yes. Yes, I remember that stage very well.

Sue

Why 9x6=42 Mommy?

Julie

"massive neurological incident" Hahahaha! I am still having those. Teen girl is the cause.

Lynn

Yessssss. My two year old, exactly. Except she follows up all these questions with "Are you happy about it?" The answer varies, but now it shall be 42. (I need to reread those books.)

hp

Sounds like my 2.5 year old. Except mine doesn't have quite the follow through yet--he jumps from topic to topic randomly mid-chain.

As an aside, I was like "What?? 41 days until June???" I thought I had longer until my due date (nope). My first was born almost exactly 4 years after Ezra and the second is due almost exactly 4 years after Ike. This means I have been archive stalking your Ike pregnancy to see how Ezra was acting/how pregnancy was going at that point because the dates line up so well.

Joanna

Hahaha this makes me feel better.

Ang

Yes! I have one of these (about 6 weeks younger than Ike) and it is maddening!! My least favorite phrase is "Why, mama?"

Lisa

In preparation for my PhD comprehensive exams, one of my faculty committee members told me that, should i struggle to come up with a good answer to a question, he would accept "42" as correct, no matter what the actual question. If it works for a PhD, why not an almost 4 year old? It is, after all, the ultimate answer...

Jelourai

YES. This. All of this. 97 days 'til 4 over here, and his "natural curiosity that I should be encouraging" makes me want to scream. Especially when he makes a statement ("You be red and I'll be blue"), I agree with it, and then he asks why. Gahhhhh.

MaryC

Ha ha I remember those days!! My theory is that these little people are trying to have a conversation and this is their go-to to keep the banter going.

Jenny

My daughter is 8 now, and I still have PTSD from her third year of life. The theme song to "Play with Me Sesame" sends me into a fetal position.

Deanna

My parents always just relied on, "Because I said so!" :)

Melissa h

my son is a day apart from Ike. I Can Relate! So many unanswerable questions.

Heidi

My so is a month younger. I keep telling people that 3 year olds are amazing birth control.

Becky

Oh year 3 and 4, I do not miss thee. Our son finally figured out that we did not enjoy or appreciate him asking why after everything, probably from all the brain matter that was getting in his face from the constant exploding.

So he changed it to "How do you know?"
(massive neurological incident)

Anna

What? Ike can't be almost 4! He's the baby! How did this happen?

On another note, this made me both laugh and appreciate that I don't have to deal with it.

Lisa Y

Thanks for the laugh! We are on the downward slide toward five with our third (and last!) and it's good for me to have a reminder to be grateful that the "why, why, why" days are behind us!

Kim

Are you sure you don't want another?😉 I got to the point where I'd look at mine and ask, "is this a 4 yo question? Because 4yos love to ask questions." That'd make laugh and stop the nonsense for oh, a minute or two.

ladotyk

I almost choked on my lunch!

Alisa

I coach little league baseball, 8 and 9 year old boys. I had this conversation with one of them on Saturday. Why do I have to play right field? Which one is right field? Which is my right? Wait, are we in the field or up to bat now? Why can't I sit on the bench? Can I go to the snack bar and get nachos?

Em

So much internal screaming going on here! My daughter is a few days younger than Ike. Right now she is running around with no pants or underwear on because whyyyyy. (And I wouldn't actually care that much about that if I wasn't trying to get her into her room. It's quiet time, damn it!)

stephanie

Oh god. All. Day. Long. ALL DAY LONG! #feelingyou

NancyLou

What would happen if you answered even one of his questions with, "Why not?"

Marianne

This made me laugh so hard. We're just past the why, and all the way into SASSY!

What a lovely, smart, and hilarious family you have, Amy.

Bertine

Oooohh. . . I so recognize this. I have twins a month younger than Ike, so twice the questions. The best part (not) is that if they don't understand the answer or the answer does not satisfy their curiosity they repeat the question in rising volume until you finally feel like pulling your brain out through your ears. I DON'T KNOW! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND GO PLAY OUTSIDE!

Tamara

My son turns 4 in June. This is my entire life.

supertiff

This post is perfection.

KristenSue

This made me chuckle. I'm so glad my girl is beyond this stage. I often ended up at "God made it that way"

It's like a rabbit hole of Wikipedia links, except you can learn something from Wikipedia.

Caroline

I have one the same age and I feel you so hard. After the first 3 questions I just say "Why do you think?" It results in some surprising answers. Our other all-purpose response is "because I was riding an elephant!" It's DD's favorite joke now.

Katy R

He's the boy version of Mindy from Animaniacs! He should end every conversation with "ok I love you, bye bye!"

Alice

When my kids were that age, we would answer reasonably until we got bored and then the next answer would be: "Because its a submarine." That usually puzzled them enough to shut them up.

BA

I learned with my first to ask him why back since he usually knows the answer. So if he said "why your hair wet"? Ask him why does he think it's wet. Works almost everytime!!

Leslie in MA

This deserves an award for "Best Post Ever!!"

Plano Mom

Don't even think you will be done with the endless why's. When they become teens, the "why" questions only come up when trying to enforce/set rules and boundaries. I made it through three without saying "because I said so." Now with the 16-year-old, it's a daily mantra.

Jill

AMEN. My son is the same age and his twin sisters are about to turn 2 this weekend. I am DREADING this stage with two of them, since it's taking all of my patience with just one three year old.

Amy

I just have to say, this is my 2nd favorite post after the one that is a grievance list from Ike about his unfair treatment in the AM. I still go back to that one to pull it up from time to time (now I straight up look like a jar of SPAGHETTI SAUCE).

Nicole

Thank you! This is my life currently with the three year old.

Carol

Whenever my mum became tired of the constant "but why?" questions she answered "Because God loves Ireland."

"But why [insert random statement]?"

"Because God loves Ireland."

Confused the bejesus out of us kids.

velocibadgergirl

This sign is posted at the young children's area of the Indianapolis Children's Museum. The count seems low to me.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vTd7BE8EMVA/UliUEHv_ikI/AAAAAAAALf8/WdCjbf8HNcE/s400/IMG_0372.JPG

Missie

My daughter would do this constantly...CON.STANT.LYYYYY...
I would answer her with, "Baby, you are just so three."
Her response? "I free, Mom. I so free. Why I free again?"
annnnnd there would go the next two hours of my life.

Michelle B

Mmm hmm. *pours a glass of wine*

Jess

Story of my life!!!!!! I say, "The management will no longer be fielding any questions." My daughter says, "Why?" and I try not to drown myself in my own frustration.

Laeci

When he gets bored of the endless "Why.." and "What happens when..." from the three-year-old, my husband started answering "Munch munch" (nonsensically, which is of course the point.) Now I've picked it up too!

Julie

Were you at my house recently listening in to my conversations with my 3, almost 4 year old?

Leigh Ann

So perfect.

Em

Every fucking day. And to "Why do you think...?" the answer is always "I dunno, can you tell me?" AUGH.

Arnebya

Why you keep saying 42? WHY YOU CRYING?

The comments to this entry are closed.