Flea Circus
In Which We Learn Our Door Lock Does Not, You Know, LOCK

Tirewocky

The day has come, the assholes said. 

To talk of many things: 

Of ships, and shoes, and sealing wax, 

And Craiglist ads, and tires. 

 

(Okay that last line might need some work. Am simple drunk-ass blogger, not poet, after all.)

But YES. The day has come, little walruses. TIREWATCH 2015 is officially over.

Someone bought the tire. It's gone now. 

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(Our last moment together, before Jason came to pick it up and/or it rolled right the fuck off the picnic bench like an ungrateful bastard.)

We got one hundred dollahs for the tire. Worth it? Jason thinks so. The rest of the world who had to put up with this nonsense online might say otherwise. 

Bye Tire. I should have named you Felicia. 

This has been TIREWATCH 2015: THE TIRE WATCHENING, brought to you by your friendly neighborhood asshole who really, really hope none of the neighbors saw her posing a fucking tire at a picnic table and pouring it a glass of wine at 2:30 in the afternoon while giggling like an idiot because HA HA LOOK TIRE THINKS IT'S PEOPLE. 

Comments

erin

I bid you adieu, Tire! Here's hoping we're all still here 10 years from now to reminisce about the two times tires took up residence at your house and OMFG it's been 20 years why are we so old aieeeeeeee! (Or maybe here's hoping not.)

erin

But really, it's kind of a nice once-a-decade sort of thing.

Joc

adieu, you will meet again, it will come back as black mulch in your flower bed....

Joy

$100 for the tire? That is impressive.

Lisa

Ineffable. I love your blog so.

Stephanie

Goodbye tire, I'll never forget you!

Kim

"Bye Felicia" never ceases to crack me up!!

Good riddance, Tire.

Alice

I wish my neighbors were this interesting. I would love to see one of mine giggling over a glass of wine with an inanimate object one day.

Suzy Q

Cheers, Tire! May you roll on in peace.

Can't wait for your cousin to arrive at the Storches!

SarahB

Go spend that $100 on more of your favorite wine and call it a win!

Credaholic

Is it just me, or does Tire look like he got gussied up for this occasion?

Ann

Does the new owner know of their new tire's celebrity status online?

Nicole P.

Tire is making a last ditch attempt to stay, with promises we all know it can't keep.

ingrid

I read this to my husband. His response? "Bye, tire. See you aROUND." Ugh.

the bee

You need to write a book for children about a boy that befriends a lonely tire and brings it home. The boy must be named Jason and the tire should have a room of his own.

Sue W.

A small tear just rolled down my cheek. Goodbye sweet tyre. We hardly knew ye!

Arnebya

(whispering) Until next time.

Eponine

Thank you for writing this blog. Your special brand of crazy never ceases to brighten my day.

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