The house is getting photographed for our listing this afternoon. It's happening! It's all finally happening!
As of yesterday, however, this was all still happening:
WELCOME TO OUR HOME! HAVE A BIKE OR SEVEN!
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO PUT THIS CRAP! ALL CRAP-STORING OPTIONS ARE CURRENTLY FILLED WITH OTHER CRAP!
WHAT, YOU EXPECT THEM TO EAT BREAKFAST WITHOUT BRINGING ALONG A ZOO?
*WEIRD FOREHEAD VEIN THING*
GO HOME, APPLIANCES. YOU'RE DRUNK. AND DON'T FIT ANYWHERE UNTIL I THROW OUT A WAFFLE IRON.
AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH I JUST CLEANED THIS UP
GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH THIS TOO
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, STOOL?
THIS VACUUM BROKE FIVE YEARS AGO PEOPLE. WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH US?
BLURRY HUMMINGBIRD HANDS IN FULL EFFECT, Y'ALL!
You have got to be literally kidding me.
OH HELL TO THE FUCK NO.
I CAST THEE OUT STOMACH DEMON I REBUKE THEE I CAPS LOCK YOU FROM ORBIT.
(He's fine. Totally fine. A little indigestion from too many snacks at the neighbor's house mixed with some good old-fashioned dramatics. And my brain is slowing resolidifying itself from a melted liquid form! Hooray! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY!!!!!!!!)