Ike is currently at school, wearing rubber rainboots. It is not raining; it is not going to rain. I simply could not find his shoes this morning, anywhere.
The shoe thing, SERIOUSLY. Now I will completely admit that my patience reserves are not always overflowing with zen-like parenting chill, but the shoe thing manages to tap them out completely like nothing else*, because every goddamn day, people. Someone's shoes mysteriously go missing, usually right at the exact second that particular someone needs to get out the door like NOW I MEAN IT.
We have a closet. There is a shelf for shoes in this closet. The shelf, it is ample, and the closet, it is the first dang thing you encounter when you enter the house. I don't even care about the shelf; feel free to use that as a general suggestion and just take off your shoes and toss them in. For all that is holy, please just get your shoes somewhere in the general vicinity of the shoe closet.
Nobody ever puts their shoes in the shoe closet, and this fills me with an irrational amount of eyebrow twitching rage.
Especially when the words "I can't find my shoes" are accompanied by a blank, helpless look, the face of a child who looked ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE for his shoes and is now ALL OUT OF IDEAS. And I just know that I'm going to spend the next 10 minutes of my life running around this giant black hole of a house looking for his shoes, while he trails behind me like a disinterested slug, and probably wouldn't recognize his own shoes if he slithered right over them, right in the middle of the room he swears he looked in already.
(Honestly this happens so often with all three of them I feel like even St. Anthony would be like, "Guys. SERIOUSLY. The closet is RIGHT THERE.")
Ike is technically required to wear sneakers to school, but occasionally I've had to give up and go with the Crocs because it's all we (haha "we") could find. Today BOTH shoe options went missing, so hand-me-down rainboots that MAY or MAY NOT even fit him properly had to do.
(Were the rainboots in the shoe closet? One of them was, yes. The other one was under the dining room table because sure.)
I still can't find his shoes. Hopefully it will just rain tomorrow. And that Ike doesn't decide to do something weird like wear the boots to bed so they get lost in the covers.
(runs off to search for shoes in the bed covers)
*The only other thing that comes close to the shoe-rage** is the NO TOYS AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE rule. Which is basically, you know, no toys at the breakfast table. They distract everybody and are usually the reason for 99% of knocked-over milk cups and cereal bowls hitting the floor. So no toys at the breakfast table. And then I come downstairs and the breakfast table is completely covered in Bionicles, and my kids are like, "It's okay Mom! We know there's no toys at the breakfast table, but we WANTED toys at the breakfast table. See? Our logic is flawless."
**Oh God wait it's almost missing mitten season I am not ready I need to start putting booze in my coffee.
Shoes have been located. I found them outside.