Ta Mothereffing Da
How We Do It Where We From

It's the Most Germiful Time of the Year

Ah, November. The leaves are dropping, the weather's all over the place (40 degrees! No, 60 ! Sun! Rain! More rain! Here's some wind! Now get those shorts back out cuz it's going up to 80 for some reason!)...and of course, everybody's sick.

We're passing around a mostly symptom-less fever thing right now, most likely the flu because I lost the consent forms for them to get vaccinated at school and then the Target flu clinic was out of the mist when we went and then the next day Ezra complained of a headache and went to bed for three days. Then he was fine and Noah suddenly wasn't. 

(Go get ur flu shots ppl it's real and it's happening and it's COMING FOR YOU.)

I feel fine so far, unless you count the fact that I am horribly, violently allergic to the ENTIRE WORLD UP HERE. Since we moved, my previously mild seasonal allergies are now like, major and not very seasonal, since I was allergic to everything in the summer and now it's fall and I'm still sneezing my head off.

If I keep a constant, steady dose of allergy meds in my body I'm okay. Not great, but okay. If I miss a dose or take it even a few hours late, I go from one sneeze to a full-on stay-in-bed-worthy hay fever, with a headache and watery eyes and sneezing/coughing/sinuses from hell. It's really sexy, OBVIOUSLY.

So if you're keeping track, my current list of allergies has expanded to include:

1) Antibiotics, almost all the life-saving ones and definitely the best ones for treating UTIs

2) The cold. 

3) Nickel and various nickel derivatives. And thus Bare Minerals

4) Raw onions, like my eyes don't just water, they leak copiously, turn bright red and burn-y, and then my sinuses freak out and my nose runs and my eyelids and lips swell and one time my throat started to close up and I had trouble breathing and THAT, my friends, was the last time I ever chopped a raw onion. 

5) Mosquitoes, who specifically target me (and Ezra) because we swell up so comically and itch for days afterwards.

6) Mold

7) Leaves

8) Grass

9) Dust

10) Dustmites

11) Pollen

12) Nature

13) The outdoors

14)  Going places and doing things

15) Dying, especially in the face. 

Honorable mentions of suspicion include the carpet and curtains in my bedroom, maybe my pillow, or my hair, or something else but dear God if I wake up at 3 am one more time thinking "huh I feel sniffly shit did I take my medicine oh no get up get up go take it aw fuck too late here comes the onslaught" I'm going to burn it all down. 

Or probably just vacuum and dust everything. AGAIN. 

In other news, please enjoy trying to wrap your head around the proportions in the following photos:

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Comments

reenie

Good morning, Sniffles! I am a fellow sufferer. I wanted to mention that vacuuming/dusting/cleaning etc., was something my allergist told me to avoid at all costs. Or - since I laughed at him (cuz who else is gonna do it?), told me to at LEAST wear a mask, as you're throwing all of the crap into the air for about 30 minutes after cleaning. I also had to put dust mite covers on the bed and pillows, and have an air purifier on at all times...and have the windows closed at all times. It sucks. You probably know all of those things already, but I HURT for you after reading that. (I also get weekly shots along with taking daily allergy meds.) I hope you get relief soon!

reenie

Oh! And is Ike really that big? Or is Ezra really that good at pretending to be that small?

KristenSue

At least you aren't allergic to roaches! (that was an eye opener when I was tested and learned that I'm allergic to everything that is green. or that grows.)

CB

HEPA/enviro filters on EVERYTHING. Also, hardwood floors and the least dust-collecting fabrics for furniture and window covers possible. Ask me and my dust-allergic husband how I know. And my child who has been on allergy medicine since she was 4 months old.

And omg, are those photos like those trick shots of rooms with weird proportions so that people look either huge or tiny?? Is Ez really 15 feet away from Ike or something? And I will admit to continue to call him Baby Ike in my head. I think this will finally stop that.

Anon

You should try Nasacort nose spray for allergies. According to the pharmacist at Walgreens, you can take it in addition to Claritin.

beth

another suggestion... find an allergist. like an honest to gawd allergist. have them test you and start getting the shots. they suck, but after feeling like you do when you don't have the meds when i HAD meds 100% of the time... the shots finally have gotten me down to the puny baby-ish meds. i'm in heaven. add to that nasal spray. it works wonders.

Gabie

Yes 👆🏻! Real allergist and testing and shots! I just started shots early this year and it's incredible. I should have done it years ago! And Flonase and Zyrtec.

SarahB

What? Those kids!

Re: allergies. My husband succumbed to the inevitable and is getting the shots. We have a fancy air filter thing in our bedroom, encased all pillows and mattresses. But it was time for the shots. He just kept getting sick.

And I am on my second round of antibiotics this fall already...October 1st and we are all sick within a week. Hope you all feel better soon.

Karen

FYI...the only help I have received with allergies is from sprays. Nascort specifically. It is OTC now and I just spray each nostril once. It even helps me get through visits to the inlaws and their dog.

Katie

Us, too. Expect we are passing around an epic case of pink eye. At one point I looked like Quazimoto, with all the swelling and leakage from my face. DS1 had a cold, then raging ear infection, then pink eye within two days. TWO DAYS. DS2 has been nursing some mild cold for about 2 weeks. ME? I'm just trying to stop from having a 3rd case of pink eye.

The cooties. They're out there. AND THEY'RE BREEDING.

Sarah

Get rid of the carpet. My husband, the King of Allergies, would not even consider buying a house with carpeting. Carpet makes him miserable.

Lisa

Wait. So Baby Ike is now GIANT?

Anna

So much plus one for a good heavy duty air cleaner! And hardwood floors!

Amanda

I hear you on the onion allergy. Worse now that I'm pregnant, for some reason? Forget the onion goggles - I use an extra pair of ski goggles (seriously - no tears) and my toddler finds it hilarious. Whatever works!

Elise

Dust mites. Get rid of all the carpet and put a HEPA filter in your bedroom. There is no way to clean a carpet, the dirt and grime just builds up underneath. It's completely disgusting, and unhealthy.

MariaV

Feel better!

That little man ate baby Ike!!

Arnebya

I got nothing on the allergies. My husband is allergic to everything on your list plus dander from any animal ever encountered, air, and also me. And maybe definitely my attitude because come on, son, pop some Primatine Mist, hit your inhaler puff puff don't pass, slurp some Benadryl, and get us a puppy.

We did flu shots (not him HOOOOO BOY HE'D PROBABLY JUST DIE ON THE SPOT and does CVS have insurance for that?) finally (never knew there were age restrictions at some places. What in the absolute hell? CVS made us go to one with a Minute Clinic because other ones don't vaccinate under 18 put up a motherfucking sign somewhere.

LOVE BIGGENED BABY IKE, EZRA. DO IT!

KateB

Highly recommend allergy testing and shots. LIFE CHANGING!!!

Erin

Delurking to add to the chorus of get thee to an allergist. I'm an allergic girl and having an allergist and prescription medication makes a world of difference.

Vicky

On the UTI front - I can't get hold of pure cranberry juice where I live - so D-Mannose is a life saver for me when I get a UTI. Same active ingredient that fixes a UTI as cranberry juice without having to chug a litre+ of the stuff - should be able to find the tablets at the health or supplements aisle.

Kris

My 13 year old has similar allergy issues but throw in asthma for some good times. He gets allergy shots now and is NOT TAKING ANY MEDS for the first time since he was in preschool. No allergy meds and no asthma and meds. He started them when he was 11 and he told the allergist he has never felt this good...ever.

Chris

Three years ago we moved to a new house and suddenly my ever-once-in-a-while allergies were constant-I-can't-breathe allergies. I started taking Zyrtec everyday after a Dr mentioned I could be reacting to something at the new house and having allergy induced asthma. Fast forward two years and we moved out of that house. And...I haven't taken a single Zyrtec since. Get your air ducts cleaned!!

Krystal

I had never had allergies until we moved to our new home for years ago. What helped me was local honey from the farmers market. I guess eating honey from the bees who fly around your local flowers etc, acclimate you to the area.

Krystal

That would be four* years ago. i haz grammer

Krystal

Honey from your local bees! It will help acclimate you to the area.

suburbanmom2

Echoing what everyone else said about allergies, but also; if you have forced air heat/central air, you can get an air cleaner on your blower / furnace, then not necessary to get one in each room. Worth the investment. You change the filter in the spring and the fall and yes, get your air ducts cleaned. Feel better!

Ami

Okay, this is going to sound kooky, but bear with me. Research acupuncture for allergies. My husband had an acupuncturist whom used to be an anesthesiologist. He did some special training with a specialty in treating allergies with acupuncture. He did some
Hippie voodoo evaluation to determine specific allergies, then an acupuncture regimen that worked wonders. Just another option to consider.

leslie

Get the ducts in your new home professionally cleaned. We did when we moved into our new home, and it was seriously disgusting how filthy they were. Probably hadn't been cleaned in decades.

Missie

WHAT DID YOU DO TO BABY IKE? DID YOU ORDER STEROIDS IN YOUR BLUE APRON BOX? HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BABY STILL! AND LITTLE! AND SQUISHY CUDDLY CUTENESS WITH HIS SURFER DUDE HAIR! And yes, I was yelling at you. Because this is all obviously your fault. I don't know exactly how, but I am blaming you nonetheless.

Missy

I also have cold urticaria, and a SUPER FUN, exceptionally weird exercise induced urticaria but only if I eat an apple within two days before I exercise. And I'm allergic to apples so I can only eat them cooked. So, yep. Delicious apple cobbler + hard core running on the treadmill = full blown anaphalyxia and almost dying. Good times!! And doesn't that sound like some totally bullshit allergy that somebody would make up? I mean what kind of effed up genetics do my parents have? And sadly, I'm also allergic to dogs and cats--so my children are forever scarred due to the lack of pet options (fish DO NOT cut it!) Anyway, just wanted to commiserate! Hope you are all on the mend soon and that your kids STOP GROWING UP SO FAST!!!

MP

You should find an allergist ASAP and get started on shots! You will feel so much better and your problem will be monitored and in the hands of a professional. Also, he/she can order a blood test to test for food allergies.

Lindsay

Lay off the cleaning! Yeah, not kidding. Vacuuming and dusting stirs up WAY more dust and allergens than you'd otherwise find. Plus, not cleaning is way more fun than cleaning. ;)

Also, I find that when I move, my allergies always kick up to high gear (new stuff is in this air! I must fight it!) and then tone down to normal about a year later. Yeah, luckily I don't move very often. That would be awful. Good luck!

Amie

Yes to the shots, OMG. I was also allergic to almost everything that grows or has fur, and had near-constant sinus infections for years. I started the shots in my early 20s and had so many reactions to just the shots that I never did reach maintenance--BUT--it still basically cured me. Or at least desensitized me enough that I don't get sinus infections anymore and only really get allergy freakouts when I visit the ragweedy midwest or come close to a bunny.

cls

Fellow allergy person here. Since no one else has said it yet: Sea Salt nasal spray.

A pharmacist who was also suffering from allergies recommended it when I went in to fill my usual allergy meds (Zyrtec, Flonase). It's like a net pot, but 100% easier to use, and it just washes all the allergens right out of your nose. Really good when you are having a flare-up. Best done once before bed, and once in the morning. If you are also using a steroid spray like Flonase, do the sea salt spray first, Flonase second, so that the Flonase can linger and work its magic.

I also have a pollen hat that I wear outdoors in the spring (my bad time) and rinse off, and I rinse off my hair at night because allergens can lurk in your hair and then be close to your face all night while you are sleeping. That tip is from the allergist's nurse. Mask if you vacuum or make husband do it, and HEPA air filter in bedroom. Acupuncture for allergies is also excellent and very helpful.

Feel better soon!

cls

like a NETI POT. Thanks, Autocorrect!

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