I dropped my phone on a sidewalk in Baltimore about a month ago, just barely cracking the upper-right corner. I've done SO MUCH WORSE to SO MANY PHONES, though, that I decided it wasn't even worth repairing...I was planning to upgrade after Christmas and demote this one down to full-time Kid Restaurant Entertainment/Angry Birds Duty anyway. Considering the kids still routinely argue over who gets dibs on a second-gen iPad with a completely shattered (and alarmingly sticky) screen, I figure they wouldn't mind yet another slightly imperfect hand-me-down.
My phone, however, had other plans, and went on to basically disintegrate, crack by crack and chunk (!) by chunk.
While the initial cracking was minimal, I popped it out of the case and realized the body was a tiny bit bent. So over time, I'm guessing, the stress just got to be too much (I FEEL YA, PHONE, SAME) and the cracks started to spread. Then large-ish pieces of the screen started flaking off, revealing the backside of the camera and other metal things that 1) are hot, and 2) will shock you if you do something inexplicably stupid, like lick your finger before touching them. Why, self? You spent an entire year resisting the Red Button and then two days with a smashed up iPhone you're like, hmmmmmm I wonder. Go lick a flagpole, why don't you?
Eventually, the touch screen stopped working in a couple places, which: FINE. I CAN WORK AROUND THIS. I AM BEING STUBBORN AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME. I moved apps around the screen to bump the one I wanted into a working area, I rotated the keyboard around several times to type and send text messages, I relied on autocorrect to hilarious and nonsensical results. I could open the camera app but couldn't take a picture because the button was in a dead zone. Candy Crush was an exercise in futility because yeah, I SEE that move but I can't MAKE that move.
Yesterday it froze up, so I decided to restart it, foolishly forgetting that thee of the four numbers in my passcode were all in dead spots, officially and completely locking my dumb self out of my phone for good.
(UGGHHH BLURRGH WHY WAS I PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PAIN?)
Award for Most Awkward Photo goes to this one, taken with my unwieldy laptop. I also called Jason using it to tell him that my phone was completely gone so don't bother texting me about anything, to which he was like....but but but how did you make this call?? are you magic???
I was like, no dude, just Skype. Although I agree it's a pretty magical time to be alive and without a landline.
So um. Don't text or call me right now, I guess. I'm going to go see about getting it repaired, AGAIN, if it's even possible, and in the meantime show some FUCKING RESTRAINT when it comes to all the remaining loose chunks of screen that I kinda wanna pick off, one by one like old nail polish, just to seeeeee.
But before I go, here are a couple of the last photos I was able to take with it, which are fittingly important photos of my cat sitting in a pile of fake pre-lit wreaths that are still waiting for me to go buy some dumb bows or whatever already.
(Wat. Dis my impenetrable force field.)