Me: Okay Ike, it's time to write your Christmas list for Santa.
Ike: Yay! How do you spell Dinosaur Flitcher?
Ike: Dinosaur. Flitcher. That's what I want the most.
Ike: No, not Flitcher. Flitcher.
Me: Could you maybe describe it and does it have anything to do with Star Trek.
Ike: It flitches between dinosaurs that are alive and then are dead.
Me: You mean switches? A Dinosaur Switcher?
Ike: Yes. How do I spell that.
Me: Like...is it a flip book? A game or something?
Ike: Mom. It's a Power Rangers toy. It's made of dinosaurs and flitches around so the dinosaurs can be alive and then be dead when you kill them.
Me: WELL THAT SOUNDS APPROPRIATE
Me Again: hands Ike phone with "power rangers dinosaur" search loaded on Amazon because not 100% sure this is even a thing that exists
Ike: starting to doubt who, exactly, he is writing this list for, the magic all-knowing present man or his incompetent mother
Ike: My friend has one. It's awesome and shaped like a rectangle.
Me: Very helpful details. But is it available for Amazon Prime.
Ike: points to listing That's it! The Dinosaur Flitcher! That's what I want!
Me: "Dino Charge Megazord." Okay, sure.
Also Me: "In on stock December 26, 2106."
Still Me: Shit.
Me After a Quick Google: So like, you don't even watch Power Rangers? And this is the first time you've ever mentioned them? Are you absolutely sure this is what you want because it doesn't seem like it's available anywhere and I sense a wild retail goose chase coming and I really hate that conceit in Christmas movies TBH.
Ike: writes on list "D-I-O-S-A-R...F-E-T-C-R"
Defeated Me: Wonderful.
AS83ROROAJL^&$(i@##% Me: spends the next four days trying to find one in stock anywhere, eventually turns to eBay, pays $10 premium +shipping on rectangle-shaped plastic thing that will promptly break or be forgotten like a good holiday sucker gah
Ike: I also want my own phone.
Me: Yeah no.
BOW TO ME THE ALMIGHTY DINOSAUR FLITCHER