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This Post Was Written By a 39 Year Old Human, God Help Us All

Time Is a Flat Tire

Ha ha, look at me. I'm funny.

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WHAT THE

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WHAT THE FRESHEST OF HELLS

NO

NOT AGAIN

JASON

PLZ

I AM BEGGING YOU

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OMG

WHAT

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Touché, you ridiculous bastard. 

(FML! Hope everybody enjoys their holidays this weekend! I am frantically emailing teachers [so many teachers, holy shit] last-minute gift cards while pretending that was my plan all along and not because I forgot and then I have to go buy food for Christmas dinner and take Beau to the groomers and the kids to see Rogue One [MOST IMPORTANT] and yes, replace a tire on the minivan because there's a slow leak and I am a grown-up who is in charge of my car, my destiny and also my motherfucking foyer.) 

 

Comments

Myriam

THAT is HILARIOUS!

CJ in CO

I just laughed hysterically on the couch for about three minutes. I don't know you guys but I love you so much.

Robin Wyatt

I so sorry this is so funny! Just roll with it fun!

Jen

I've heard that Rogue One is very intense/sad/scary for kids under 10. As in, diehard Star Wars fankids didn't actually enjoy it. The advice I've heard is to see it without kids first.

Sylv

I agree with Jen. I saw it last weekend and enjoyed it, but ... let just say it's dark.

Cait

Seconding Sylv and Jen, please go see Rogue One yourself first!! I won't spoil it, but "way more intense and scary than a normal Star Wars movie" is the most accurate synopsis I can think of.

Kim

He showed you. lol

Stacey

OMG!! Your husband is the best!!

Sue W

Most admirable play, Jason! Gonna agree with everyone else and say see Rogue One without the little ones first. It was much darker than the others. Merry Christmas to you all.

liz

Ha Ha Ha Great sense of humor.
But...Men should not mess with their wives this way the day before Christmas Eve. It should be in the vows.

Angela

On the plus side...no pinkeye!

Sally

Took my 3 boys (12, 9, and 6) to Rogue One- while it is dark, it was not nearly as bad as "that part" of the Force Awakens. It was very war movie like- and dark, but still in a different way than the Force. My kids all did fine with it- just to add another opinion. The are all die fankids and appreciated this arc of the story. Have a wonderful Christmas!!!!!

Praepes

I was going to give a friendly suggestion along the lines of jen, sylv and cait becuase it was the darkest one (for me ayway, but i loved it) and I was scared in more than one moment... BUT! After the killing of younglings in ep 3 as far as sw movies go, i can't imagine stuff getting any more shocking, so i mean... if everyone got over that u can pretty much watch anything sw.

Lauren Parker- Gill

OMG, you two are the best. Thanks for the laugh!

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