Ghosts of Deodorant Wars Past
April 19, 2017
Jason: At store. Need anything?
Amy: Deodorant plz.
Jason: oh god what kind there are four million kinds.
Amy: Dunno an invisible solid of some kind.
Jason: Degree? Dove? Secret? Clinical? Motion activated?
Amy: OMG it's all the same shit. Just get whatever is on sale.
(Later...)
Amy: What the hell is all this?
Jason: Yeah I didn't know whether you wanted to smell like Shower Clean or Sexy Intrigue.
Amy: And what's this third one?
Jason: That's Black & White Pure Clean. No idea what that smells like but it promises not to leave stains or marks on your clothes! That seemed cool.
Amy: Just how long were you there reading the labels on women's' deodorants?
Jason: Wait. Are you judging me for spending an excessive amount of time pondering the nuances of deodorant marketing? You? Really?
Amy: Touche.
(I'm a Shower Clean girl and he damn well knows that, by the way.)
a new edition of "deodorant wars" was perfect today... love it. :D
Posted by: bean | April 19, 2017 at 09:36 AM
I don't need my armpits to smell sexy. CLEAN. NOT STINKY. That's all.
Posted by: Jessica | April 19, 2017 at 09:46 AM
Wheeee, I missed Deodorant Wars :D
Posted by: cris | April 19, 2017 at 09:56 AM
Even this little hint of The Ole Deodorant Wars made me smile with glee! More please!
Posted by: monica | April 19, 2017 at 10:00 AM
YESSSSS A blast from the past!!!
Posted by: Laura B. | April 19, 2017 at 10:45 AM
(My favourite bit of Deodorant Wars was your description of the cashier when you bought 18 or deodorants at once)
Posted by: Laura B. | April 19, 2017 at 10:47 AM
Delurking to ask WTF is sexy intrigue and why on the armpits?
Posted by: Kimberly | April 19, 2017 at 11:13 AM
You know you've set yourself up, right? Now we are ALL expecting an epic new season of Deodorant Wars, complete with appearances by old favorites and new stars. Jason, what have you done!? (And thanks:).
Posted by: Sarahd | April 19, 2017 at 11:53 AM
I love deodorant wars!! I go back and read them (particularly the Axe characters) when I have a bad day and need a laugh! Thank you!
Posted by: Kari | April 19, 2017 at 12:34 PM
I LOVE deodorant wars! I go back and read them for a laugh too. Every time I see a Tom's of Maine product I laugh out loud. I also feel like there is a great story line just waiting to be told between Sexy Intrigue and my boyfriend's Old Spice Swagger. (HINT HINT)
Posted by: Kimberly | April 19, 2017 at 01:07 PM
Bahahahaha. Wait what in the world does sexy intrigue smell like??? Ew.
For the record I am a Dove original Clean kind of girl (aka boring).
Posted by: Lauren | April 19, 2017 at 01:44 PM
Yes! Deoderant Wars Reunion relaunch.
Posted by: Amy | April 19, 2017 at 01:56 PM
I had to go read them all, again. I'm laughing so hard. Thank you.
Posted by: Melissa | April 19, 2017 at 03:28 PM
I just want to know why I can't find unscented deodorant that's actually unscented. Every "unscented" I buy has a vague cucumber-melon scent. That's not unscented!
Posted by: Brandi | April 19, 2017 at 05:22 PM
Well damn, I just want to know what freaking brand of solid antiperspirant won't make my pits itch! (Almay has a gel one that works decently, but I have to wait for it to dry...
Posted by: Suzanne | April 20, 2017 at 12:15 AM
Brandi, try the men's Mennen unscented. I can't smell it at all, it's a clear gel, and it works very well.
I don't let myself near the lady's scented varieties for fear of my own deodorant wars.
Posted by: Anna H | April 20, 2017 at 12:52 AM
I've actually received compliments, by men and women, on Secret Clinical Lavender, so now I'm hooked on that one.
Posted by: Cassie | April 20, 2017 at 06:45 AM
Sexy Intrigue is actually not bad, I've used it for a while. Somewhat perfumey but not overwhelmingly so. It's nice to switch to when you get tired of the powder and shower scents. And yes, please reprise the deodorant wars! Even if only for a 1-hour reunion special.
Posted by: dlsl | April 20, 2017 at 11:31 PM