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Spring Breaking Bad

It's Spring Break! And it's shaping up to be a disaster.

Well, disaster-ish. That hysterical blind-to-privilege mommyblogger definition of disaster. The children have no camps! No activities! They are all just HERE. In the HOUSE. With ME and EACH OTHER and my DEADLINES. 

I did this to myself, yes, entirely. My new contract gig still hasn't set a start date so I didn't want to plunder our flexible spending account just yet for childcare expenses. I figured I could get away with reducing my hours across existing clients a bit this week, maybe just work half days if possible. But then this morning the news came in that my background check is done and lo, I am not a criminal unworthy of writing web site copy, and they have like a hundred and four projects they want me to work on immediately once the final rubber-stamp comes down. Okay. This could get interesting, very quickly. 

I sat down with the kids this morning and went over the day's schedule and some detailed instructions. No screen time or TV until chores are done. You will play outside as much as possible, I mean it, you will not mimic your mother's pale, hermit-like tendencies, go ride a wheeled thing or throw a spherical object of some kind for awhile. 

Also, zero tolerance on tattling. No bursting into the office to whine about how so-and-so ALMOST hit you in the head with a book or so-and-so TOTALLY TOUCHED YOUR KNEE REALLY HARD.  

Unless there is blood or something is on fire, I don't want to hear about it. 

And if there IS blood or something is on fire, rest assured you will ALL be grounded super extra hard. So. Act accordingly. 

Anyway, here are some photos from the weekend, AKA the time before we all drove each other insane.

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We took the boys to an indoor soccer game to see the Baltimore Blast -- who lost, much to Noah's abject misery and Ezra's "I'm Just Here To Wave At The Cheerleaders" indifference. Ike ate a lot of popcorn and then promptly fell asleep.






The pets share my joy o' springtime. 



And here's Ike just randomly going all Blair Witch Creepy in front of an old fireplace in Baltimore that is probably 87% for-sure haunted. Happy Monday!





Oh I want to take my cats out to enjoy the weather but I know those asshats, they will be all "peace out" and I will never see them again.


I may have just bought my cats an outdoor cat tent. WAT.


Noah will be happy to know that they won the next game for the MASL Championship. : )


Our Spring Break just ended, Instead of our lovely little getaway, I spent two days in the ER (which ended up with, dang, you're really sick with a virus, let's pump you full of fluids and then send you home. Rest and recover, the way you have been for the past 6 freaking weeks. So, yea! nothing terribly wrong. And holy crap, when will this shit end?) and the rest of my time in bed. Poor kiddos. There was a ton of screen time. Thank god for craft kits.


Maybe hire a high school kid to keep them occupied a few hours each day? A teen boy to hang with will seem very thrilling to them. And relatively cheap.


I like to qualify the blood exception for bothering Mommy by adding "if you are bleeding and then only if it's more than can be contained by a bandaid..."

In other words, do not come calling for a paper cut or hangnail, my pretties. If I open this door you better have at a minimum a deep puncture wound requiring stitches.

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