Hot (or Not) Dogs

Look Out We Got Some Middle-Aged Badasses Over Here

Amy's Brain: dog dog dog doggie doggo dog dog to dog or not to dog hello yes this is dog and look this is another dog too many dogs dog dog dog

Amy's Blog: no dog yet but look Jason got a new tattoo and is now contemplating a half sleeve because I am a corrupting influence


I love it. The kids are big fans too, because look! It's them! On Dad! They're like, famous or something. We're probably corrupting them too.

I was supposed to get my cover-up work done last week but the appointment had to get pushed back to this Sunday. Then on Tuesday we're having a home visit with a PUPPY (still a pittie rescue) because we all know I said NO PUPPIES and that basically means I will 100% cave and do exactly the opposite of that.



(Speaking of corruption, Noah has now taken to peppering his speech with appropriately-placed BEEPS. Like, not actually swearing; he's literally going around muttering things like "What the BEEP? Holy BEEP! MotherBEEEEEEEP!" Ezra, meanwhile, is SCANDALIZED that there are kids in his YMCA camp who say the actual bad words and he thinks that's "very inappropriate" and that they should just "think them in their heads, like I do." And Ike's lisp makes certain innocent words sound like he's cursing and I think he kinda knows it and is saying them a lot on purpose?  So yeah, currently navigating that whole conversation with them while also being a somewhat notoriously foul-mouthed mommyblogger who still gets at least one email or comment every few months scolding me for my frequent use of f-bombs on the internet. OH THE MOTHERFUCKING IRONY.)



I don't know what I am going to do. I curse ALL. THE. TIME. But, I expect my kids not to. I mean, it's one thing around their friends when they get to an old enough age, but it's another to do it in front of teachers, grandparents, etc. My four year old is fascinated with what is/isn't a bad word. That is one cool tattoo.


I stick with my mom's philosophy (she taught me all my best cuss words) which was basically you can cuss when you can vote, but not around me because you are my baby forever and I fucking well said so (direct quote) She also emphasized that while an occasional well placed expletive can be useful, cussing to much makes you look dumb and cheap so when you insult someone or something remember to do it with flavor and verve.

(my mom has high standards)


That tattoo is awesome. Love it.

I have worked mightily to curb my awful language since having kids, but man, it is hard to remember sometimes. And my five year old has taken to using my substitute swears (durn it, good grief, for the love) and all I can do is laugh.


Hahahaha I love you! Never change.

Katie H.

Absolutely LOVE the tattoo!!!


I was raised in a bar and my language reflects that fact. My husband is even worse. I told my kids those are grown up words and if they're grown up enough to use them appropriately go for it. Because if they're that grown up, they'll know not to let me hear it.


Good lord. If I had kids, their first words would most definitely be "fuck"!

Sue W

I FUCKING LOVE Jason's tat!


Love his tattoo!!!!


I swear, a LOT. And always have (well, since late teens, early twenties). I was told (by my parents) when I was pregnant with my first child that I needed to work on curtailing all of the swearing. I didn't, at least partly because I'm obstinate and hate doing things just because I'm told to, especially by my parents. Flash forward, two kids, 18 and 15. I know they both swear in the company of their friends, but my daughter has only let a "fuck" slip with me once or twice when she was SUPER upset with a toxic friend. And that was this year (after she turned 18). My son asked my permission to swear once when he was telling me a story about something that happened at school and he was quoting what someone else said. My point is that kids are smart and able to understand that some words are grown up words. And I still swear like a sailor, because sometimes, the only word that effectively conveys what you're trying to say is a well-placed "fuck". So, keep on swearing, if you want to. The kids will figure it out.


I'm a teacher, and while of course kids aren't allowed to swear at school, there is going to be the occasional playground slip-up. It's fascinating to see the range of how parents react to that.


We have the rule that you can curse at home, but don't go around cursing elsewhere because other people get offended. My daughter (just turned six) doesn't take advantage of this (yet) but she loves announcing "MOM JUST SAID 'SHIT'" loudly enough for the neighbors to hear so I feel like we might be missing something important in the parenting department.


My almost 8 year old swears like a sailor. I have tried all sorts of things to curb it, but not much is working. His favorite phrase is "Oh what the hell!" it is kind of funny to see other parents horrified by him at the park.
He is the quintessential SoCal punk-ass kid and I have no idea what the BEEP to do with him.


Even though you're not in that photo above with the four of them, I still think it should be your year-end holiday card for 2017. The love!!!


One of our favorite stories about my now 18 year old is when she was 3, she said damn it, looked at her nana and said, "That's right, I said damn it." Nana sent her to me and I explained those were adult words and she wasn't an adult so she couldn't use them. She then proceeded to cry and scream that she hated me because I wouldn't let her say damn it. Took so much willpower not to laugh right in her face.


I have a mouth and have never been able to stop - the kids are now 11 and 13. When they were little, they were allowed to put me in time out because it underscored the "do as I say not as I do." For my 11 y.o. swearing is distasteful. I know my 13 y.o. swears occasionally, although not when we can hear her. I would say it has no glamour for my kids, which is pretty much what I would like.

Love the tattoo. Also seconding the Big Fluffy Dog rescue. They are excellent.


That tattoo is gorgeous.

My son's current way of rebelling is to be totally anti-cursing since his father and I have been known to drop f-bombs indiscriminately.


My almost-9 year old was so angry recently I asked him if he wanted me to swear for him and he looked me square in the eyes and said YES. So I did.


That tattoo is very awesome! Whoever sketched the design deserves mad props! The swearing rule for my boys is "I don't want to hear it, and I better not hear ABOUT it either." It would be WAY too hypocritical to tell them they SHOULDN'T swear, but that rule seems to make them be careful enough that I've never had a school official/other parent call me with an unfortunate story. Also, I have NO IDEA how much they actually swear around their friends or whatever and that's perfect because I really don't want to know!


love that tattoo.
We don't curse a ton around our son but I'll admit to being pretty liberal with the word "damn," so much so that I don't often think of it as a curse word. We're definitely more liberal with the colorful language in social situations which may or may not be overhead by the kids. I've always told my son that there is value to well placed curse word, say when you stub your toe or do something boneheaded, however, when you're a kid, if you're overheard you're guaranteed to get in trouble. And if you get in trouble outside my house for a foul mouth, you're on your own. You'll have to suffer the consequences of that, I cannot help you. With that in mind, I always advise him that the wise thing to do is just not to say them because you never know who is going to overhear you. Personally, I would find Noah's "beeps" hysterical.


I curse all the time, and I've accepted this about myself. I also think the only "bad" words are the words we use to hurt other people. The words we say because we stubbed a toe or got cut off in traffic? Eh. I just tell the kids they will get in trouble at school if they say them, and if they say them around their friends, other parents might not let them have play dates. But! Most of their friends already know those words, and I don't think it's all because of my kids.


I basically have the" some things are meant just for your friends ears" mentality with my teen. Sometimes he slips. When they were little I curbed it pretty well. I find as they get older I am going back to my pre kid trucker mouth. My husband does not have a trucker mouth. We are quite the pair.

Brandy K

Ha - my oldest (13 - aspie) also does the "beep" thing lately, but usually only when tattling about something he overheard or saw in a movie. I have actually said, you're 13, I give you permission to repeat it if you so choose. Nope - except when he was arguing and I said, "well that's just bullshit" and he immediately retorted, "It's not bullshit" and then turned beet red. So proud.


I had a long and impassioned conversation with a friend about how I didn't want a kitten, but a mature cat to be friends with my grumpy old man cat and immediately went out and found an abandoned kitten under the wheel of my bike. He is now biting my arm.
Nice tat! I'm less interested to see how the swearing passes on than the tatooing. I have several, getting more, and my 4 year old is very interested already.
He also came home and announced that he and his papa were late because 'the taxi driver fucked up.' So that was great.

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