Large, Larger, Largest
Out on the Old Town

Now What Chicken Butt

It's been two full days since school ended approximately 84 years ago.

Getting work done has been...challenging. Every morning I lay out a schedule for everyone -- exactly what chores need done, spaced in between blocks of outside time, reading/writing time, instrument practice -- that must be completed before I will even consider any screen time requests. Then I head to my office and close my door, hunker down on a task for exactly 30 seconds before the someone barges in to tattle on someone else or ask where something from the dishwasher goes. (IT'S A SPOON, CHILD.) Also, can I go on my screen? Mom? Mooooom. Mooooommmmmmm. 

I feel like I've been snappy and scoldy and super easily annoyed; even perfectly valid questions and complaints are being met with a built-in WHAT NOWWWWW level of irritation. Camps start up next week, which no one is all that excited about, but I'm sending them anyway because I believe it will be a enriching and positive experience for my children to be around adults who aren't ready to bite their heads off in a Pavlovian reaction to the sound of a door opening. 

I was writing a column for AlphaMom this morning (you know, the one where I un-ironically give advice about how to be awesome at parenting hahahaha) when Ike interrupted me for what felt like easily the 10th time already. "Dude, come ON," I sighed.

"I just want to give you this," he said meekly. He handed me a rolled-up note.


(Translation, per Ike: Dear Mom I love you so much you are the best mom ever o#o# [hugs and kisses] Mom you got me hugs and kisses I like Mom and that is you I love you Mom Love Ike [heart])

And the best part? He didn't even follow up with a "Can I go on my screen now?" That's how you know it's real, man. I do not deserve this one. 

I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off. According to today's schedule, I promised fill up a big bucket of water balloons after lunch. Better get cracking. 



That kid. Oy. <3

El Kromhout

Those are the best. Way to go Ike!


Yeah, they'll do stuff like that to you.
And yes, you do deserve it, because you put the time and compassion and emotional energy in all the other times. It comes around, is what I'm saying.

Sue W

That's why you don't kill them. Because if you did, you wouldn't get notes like this!


This is me too. Why can I not be like one of those moms who never get annoyed with their children? And have their house clean all the time? Why??!!


I am not a parent but I say, really, Amalah, do you not already know that it is perfectly normal and acceptable and real to get annoyed when they are being, you know, children? (I know, I know; you already know the answer to this.) They push you to the edge and then they slay you with notes like this (because they are super smart and that scares me and hence one of the many reasons I am not a parent). Seriously, parenthood is the hardest job in the world, and the most important. Cut yourself some slack. You're an awesome mom, raising awesome kids. But sometimes they will drive you to drink and sometimes you will be the Worst Mom Ever but other times you will hit all the notes like a boss and so do they and here's the thing: they will grow up and remember what an incredible mom you were, through it all. Really. Good luck with the summer! It looms long sometimes, we get that and sympathize. But some of it will be momentously wonderful and you will create ridiculously sappy and cool memories that you and your children will never forget....and many other times they will make you question your sanity and that, I think, is parenthood! Huzzah to you,


Two words: Costco waterballoons. They have this super pack of 350 balloons that magically tie themselves up and you can therefore fill all 350 of them in like 1 minute. best $20 ever...

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