Ezra asked for roller skates for Christmas. ROLLER skates, not inline skates, he insisted, several times. Then he completely forgot about this request, as did his wonderfully amazing parents who would never overlook their middle child's Christmas list that he left sitting right there on the kitchen counter for Christ's sake.
But he didn't ask Mall Santa for roller skates, so after realizing their omission (around 11:45 p.m. on Christmas Eve), I figured maybe they were more of a temporary whim rather than something he really, really wanted. Especially since 1) he'd never been roller skating, 2) had never asked to go roller skating, and 3) I am 99.9% sure he only knows roller skates exist because of Calvin & Hobbes.
Looks like fun! Let's try it.
But alas, on Christmas, Ezra surveyed the room of unwrapped present glory and asked the dreaded question. "Where are my roller skates?"
I reminded him that skates weren't one of the things he asked Mall Santa for, and he nodded for a second before destroying me once again. "But I mailed a letter to the REAL SANTA and asked HIM for roller skates."
That's right. He did.
I even took pictures! I am really so good at this.
Last weekend his grandparents visited and gave all the kids gift cards as belated Christmas presents, and Ezra's was enough to cover the cost of some shiny new roller skates. (Actually a combo set that can be switched between roller and inline, which Jason encouraged.)
Ike predictably chose a Lego set with his money and then promptly began whining about his total and unfair lack of roller skates. At which point I remembered that a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, Jason bought Noah a small pair of inline skates. That went...about as well as expected, which is to say NO and NOPE and CURSE YOU FATHER. He was a lot younger than Ike, but he's always had really big feet for his age so it was entirely possible that somewhere in our cemetery of regrettable sports equipment purchases we had a pair of unused skates that might fit Ike...
...who proceeded to beg and bug me about finding them three hundred zillion times since then, usually right as I started making dinner or while I was asleep.
Jason found them last night, along with his old Rollerblades. They did fit! And Ike caught on pretty quickly -- Ezra, meanwhile, was actually struggling on the regular skates and asked to switch to the inline style. Which led to all three of them skating in endless circles around the living room (on our brand-new shiny floors), with two of them in matching Batman pajamas, complete with capes.
(No word on whether Jason found MY old Rollerblades; I tried that shit like two times after he bought them for me and was like, do you even see how often I injure myself on a daily basis WITHOUT wheels strapped to my feet? No thanks. But it was sweet how Ezra offered to teach me because he loves me. Hopefully that was Jason's motivation too, back in the day. )
Actual video footage of Noah while all of this was going on: