At Least It Wasn't Me, For Once
Assorted Weekend-ish Updates

Green Thumbs

We spent all winter mapping out grand plans for our yard and gardens. We've now spent most of spring waiting for the weather to cooperate and let us actually plant some damn things. If it would just stop SNOWING, at least, or plummeting down to near-freezing temperatures every night. That would be a nice start. 

On Saturday we had a rare burst of summer-like warmth and sun, and so we opened all the windows, dug out evertbody's shorts and t-shirts, then joined approximately 56,231,000 other Vitamin-D starved people buying ALL THE GREEN AND FLOWERY THINGS at the local Home Depot.


The Adventures of Zah In the Enchanted Forest Minivan

The kids all whined horrifically the entire time about the heat and the sun and the sweat and the my baaaaack hurts my leggggggs hurt I am too pale and video-game soft for such torrrrrrture. So once we got home and got everything unloaded and watered and debated ideal shrubbery placement all that, it was on the late side so we planned to wake up early on Sunday and get planting. Of course, by the time we got up it was grey and nasty and cold all over again. And then it starting raining, And the rain felt like sharp sting-y freezing needles. 

We went inside and turned the heat back on. 

So we now have about a dozen different tomato plants, double the blueberry and strawberry bushes, three fig trees, peas, beans, every herb we could think of, plus seeds for squash, cucumbers, melons, peppers, radish, beets and all sorts of lettuce. Plus azaleas and lots of new forsythia bushes for a little extra hot-tub privacy. 

What we don't have, incidentally, is grass. As you can see from these photos from the grayest, gloomiest Easter egg hunt ever.


The patio construction project did a predictably number on the yard, and we keep seeding and straw-ing and watering to no avail, at least not yet. So it will be interesting to see if all our other attempts at growing things go any better. 

(While househunting, we were sorely tempted by a house with a full-on horse barn and fruit/berry orchards on the property. And I feel like the fact that we almost convinced ourselves that oh yeah, This Could Totes Be the New Storch Family Lifestyle is why I think I can now grow anything and everything. Meanwhile, Poppy already ate one of the fig trees.)

Other futile endeavors to look out for this spring: Jason plans to tear down that old swingset and re-purpose some of it into a new treehouse for the boys. One time he forgot to use anchors while hanging an Ikea cabinet on the wall and it fell down and broke Ezra's play kitchen. Ezra has never fully forgiving or forgotten about that, but he's really super excited for a treehouse so he can form the first chapter of "Ezra's Everybody's Invited Club." WE SHALL SEE. 



If you start a hashtag on IG for #futilehomeplans, I have a few (MORE THAN 12) to submit! Can't wait to see the progress LOL


I wonder if he could just remove the slide, side beams, etc, and then get help to move the "house" structure sort of near a tree and then ... it's a start?


I hate to rain on your parade, but forsythia bushes are trash. I'm in an all-out war trying to remove the ones from my yard, and they keep. coming. back. They only look good for about 2 weeks out of the year (with those gorgeous, bright cheery flowers that herald the start of spring), and the rest of the time are overgrown and straggley, and sucker horribly from the roots, and every time a branch hits the ground it roots from there.. AHhh!

If you're into taking assvice from random folks on the internet, return those and get some rhododendrons (which will stay green year-round).


I winced at the forsythia too. If you researched it and that is what you want than more power to you. I inherited a bunch when we bought our house 10 years ago, and we are slowly eliminating them. Their branches grow out and take root - as a result they are ever expanding and require continual maintenance. That wasn't our bag and they ended up (10 years later) taking over almost all of our backyard. Perhaps if we were better and pruning and maintaining they would have been a bit better? Who knows. At this point they are just ugly b/c they were maintained for so long.

Good luck! I have a lot of respect for those who garden on their own. I have no idea what I am doing, do nothing and then my yard looks likes hell.

Katie H.

Poppy has already eaten one of the fig trees... LOL! That cracked me up. Hoping you buying ALL THE GREEN THINGS convinces Spring to come out from hiding!


Seconding the rhododendron suggestion above, unless you are really dead set on the forsythia! Otherwise, cute kids, cute dogs, as always!

Amy A

Yeah, but you have a hot tub (sigh.....jealous.) I guess I’m one of very few who like forsythia. Keep them somewhat pruned and they make a great privacy hedge.


Our dogs ate three fig trees in a row before we realized that they must be super tasty. No figs for us, which makes me sad. I hope you can save the other one from Poppy! If you like it, you should also consider rhubarb. It’s an iron work horse and will come back every year bigger and bushier than before. Some people won’t plant it because the leaves are poisonous and they are concerned the dogs will eat it, but we have never had that issue. Unlike the figs. Sigh....

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