It's been a long week. Yesterday I took 40 photos of my cats having a turf war over a cardboard box, but none of them turned out as amusing as watching the actual thing unfold, which was still, like, only barely.
But I have determined for certain that Rey is incapable of meowing like a normal, non-dented cat. She follows me around meep-morping like a very high-pitched robot who has a lot of questions about the nature of her existence. "Blorrrrp? Mrrrreee? Yeeeep?"
I am in a box. Take me to your leader.
She shrieks every time she gets picked up, even when she's come over and given you every indication that yes, she would like to be picked up. "Purrrrrr? Pllllluuuuurrrr?" she hums as she rubs against your legs, but the second her paws leave the ground she lets out a surprised and slightly-panicked sounding squawk. "BRRRRRMMEEEEEEEEEPP!!!!!"
Nice upper thigh reflection, self.
Sounds that startle all the other pets and send them scattering -- the vacuum, the coffee grinder, etc. -- elicit almost no reaction from her. (She definitely hears them, but simply turns her head curiously in their direction, like ah, yes, another transmission from my home planet.) Meanwhile, walk into a room carrying -- oh the humanity -- a plastic grocery bag or a laundry basket and she will flee in wide-eyed terror. "YEEEEP! MMMORP!"
Yes, I've spent an inordinate amount of time trying to phonetically spell out my simple cat's weird noises. Like I said, it's been a long week.
Here's a video of Ezra dancing to the Kinky Boots cast recording to kick off the weekend. I asked his permission to put this on the Internet and he said sure, just as long as everyone promises to "like and subscribe."
God help me.