All Creatures Great and Weird

The Grifter's Defense

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That feeling when you've de-fluffed and de-squeaked your favorite toy and haz ragrets.

I suppose it's reassuring that the Internet is still the Internet, even after all these years. Dissecting bloggers' finances when they dare put up a donate button or Amazon wishlist or whatever (LOOK AT THAT GRUBBY FREELOADER BUYING STARBUCKS!) is a tale as old as 2003. I get it! I really do. But...it's my kid. My Ike. I owe it to him to do EVERYTHING I can to get him the best help possible, even if that means being the tacky-ass mommyblogger asking people who also care about Ike or enjoy reading about him would like to help him in this very specific way for this very specific purpose. 

(But it's okay if the answer is no! I won't pack up my blog and go home or anything.) 

I know I should just be like, whatever, but I found myself arguing with the shower wall this morning: The Vegas anniversary trip had been planned for (and saved for) for almost five full years. (We also tacked it on Jason's business trip to save on airfare and hotel.) We went super-cheap on our beach vacation (hence the whole "getting locked outside by a defective sliding door" incident) and all the home renovations were done with a home equity loan. The tattoos...yeah, you got me there. I spent some of my money on tattoos. Again, though;

We do live comfortably but by no means extravagantly, and also assumed Ike would get similar service levels through the school as Noah. Now we're not so sure, and the private specialized programs around here are similar in cost to the monthly rent on my first couple of apartments and don't take insurance. So, you know, GAHBAHODHDFOENFOJEHFSSHIIIIIT. 

(I am also trying to follow everybody's pleading advice about asking for help when I need it. But maybe I'm only allowed to ask for thoughts and prayers? Casseroles? I don't know the rules!)

You MAY ALSO NOTICE, however, that there is no donate button, because in the last 24 hours two of my corporate clients reached out with brand-new projects and asked to gobble up every last one of my outstanding hours. Yay!! So everybody can just chill the fuck out. 

(I still love you, everybody, and still think I have the nicest readers just about anywhere on the Internet. Y'all look so pretty, too.) 

(Update: The people have spoken. There's a damn button. I'm sorry if it ruins your day.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

emily

Fuck the haters! You do what you need to do for your family.

Kate

For what it’s worth, You’ve been entertaining me for free for years. I recently started funding a few web comic artists through Patreon because, again, free content that I very much enjoy. I’ve set up recurring monthly contributions for them, and wouldn’t hesitate to do so for you if you made it available.

Angela

Hi Amalah! Special education teacher here, curious what intervention you've chosen for Ike. Is his school doing anything?

Chris

UGHHHHHH I cannot believe people gave you crap. Please don't listen to the haters. So many of us love you and your family. Hugs. <3

Jenni

Fuck people, especially now. Seriously. You know what might help this situation? A better underlying educational situation in 'merica, but Cruella Devos is probably too busy buying another yacht that she's not thinking about that. Bring on your donate button!

Katie H.

LOL! I can only imagine what your brain has been doing since Ike's diagnosis. It's the classic "I will do EVERYTHING IN MY POWER FOR MY CHILD" versus "Shit... really? I LIKE my Starbucks every day!". I only have this to say. It's YOUR child and YOUR call and I don't think asking people if THEY want to make the decision to spend THEIR money to help out is in any way grifting. I was going to do the same thing so my daughter could go on this super awesome NY trip to see 2 Broadway shows, have classes with ACTUAL Broadway actors and sightsee (she's a theater kid and it would mean SO much to her) that we simply can't afford. But peeps thought that was TACKY. It IS okay to ask for help.

Vicki

Hello, I like this response to the comments on your last post. I support a number of YouTubers and podcasters on Patreon and WHY SHOULDN'T writing been seen as the same creative output? There's different models and levels available, so you can support at any level. You can also offer Patreon members early access to your content or create "Patreon only" content that's in addition to your regular writing. This is an excellent option and while people can certainly disagree, I appreciate you asking for help. It's so hard to do. I recently did it for the first time with my mother and a friend and it was really nice to get the help I asked for, even though I wanted to be swallowed whole by the earth while actually doing it. Anyway, I'd support you. I actually feel guilty that I've been following you since before Noah was born (JMJ) and never gave you a dime.

Lorrian Ippoliti

Oh for f*cks sake! I hate that you had to write this, and yet I'm glad you got it out of your head. I hate the haters, who find it so easy to judge from the anonymity of their keyboards!!!!!!

Monetize the sh*t out of your blog - those of us who feel your worth and words and heart will (always) be here.

xoxoxoxoxo

Dawn

Ignore the awful comments. Post a donation button. I’ve read you since before Ezra came along and would gladly chip in for all the years worth of content you’ve provided.

Erin Miller

I, too, have been reading forever! Do the donate button. Then you give us a gift by being able to help you! Giving is the best feel-good thing to do!
:)

Joanna

Wow I didn’t check the comments on that last post but what the hell? Are these the same people that comment on Washington Post articles to complain that they can’t read it because an online subscription costs money now and whatever happened to “free press?”

I’ve been enjoying your writing for YEARS and I am happy to cough up a little compensation. Please reconsider putting up a button for those of us that are rooting for your family? I am not wealthy and I too am freaking going out about how to get help for my little guy on the spectrum because the public school is a disaster for him and everything we’ve tried through insurance has been not at all therapeutic. The private school I think may work for him (designed for ASD/ADHD kids) is 30K a year. No idea if/how we can pull that off. I hope you can get Ike the help he needs. Learning to read is a pretty big deal!

Not many people out there can actually afford to raise kids with special needs! We’ve paid SO MUCH out of pocket. It’s so hard to watch your child struggle.

Kelly

I am not in a position to help right now BUT ALSO have the capability to just let you post your donate button without having to wonder how you can possibly do things and have stuff and still ask for money, so.......f**k them. We have all had life take a sharp right turn on us, and maybe some things still exist from before said turn. Hell, maybe your mental health today NEEDED that coffee/pastry/psychiatric help from Lucy in her box-office on the corner and required nothing of you but $5 (or 5 cents if we're talking about Lucy's help). Whatevs. You do you. I'll be me. We'll be friends. End.

Erin

That is so just par for the internet course. Come on, people. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. If you don't want to donate, then don't! It's THAT SIMPLE. There is never a good reason to shame someone.

Anyway, post that donate button if you want, Amy! Screw the haters.

Julie

Dude. Fuck them. I have been reading your blog since before any of your children were born. You have give me literally hours of reading, laughing and some crying, too. Need some money? Hell, I'll give you some money. I don't have a lot extra, but I can help some. Shit happens. You can't plan for everything life is going to throw at you. Some things you can go without, but getting help for your baabbieess is not one of them. Let me know if you put up a button.

Nicole

PLEASE ignore the awful comments. There are LOTS of us who have been reading forever and would LOVE to help out . I read a lot of sites that have the donate buttons and I don't feel judged because I haven't contributed to most of them, and am GLAD to see the buttons, knowing that they are receiving well-deserved funds from some people!

Katie

I was a consultant for Lindamood-Bell, and yes, it is pricey. I believe that they used to have financing, so there’s that. But it’s still yet another payment you have to make each month. I have faith in Ike, he’s a bright little guy, he’ll conquer this thing!

Sue W.

Well I am so glad that Miss Debbie Downer will stay around to monitor your tattoo count, vacations, home improvements, hair appointments and anything else she deems inappropriate and keep you on the straight and narrow. How dare SHE berate you? Fuck her, the horse she rode in on and the dog that followed her out. And I mean no disrespect to the horse OR the dog.
I think you learned a few months ago how many of us love you, Amy. So if you need help for OUR Not A Baby Anymore Ike, you put that donate button up and we will help to the best of our abilities. And if Debbie Downer has a problem with it, she can leave. Don't let the door hit ya in the ass, lady.

Sarah

I get it. My district doesn't even recognize dyslexia as a thing, so we have been POP for an Orton Gilligham tutor for 4 years. Solidarity. (Also-- maybe you can find one in your area? Ours is a retired teacher, and our kiddo reads above grade level now.)

Elizabeth_K

PLEASE just put up a Paypal button. Many of us would feel more 'equal' if we were able to support you in some way, because I have personally 'taken' so much from you over so very many years. And I would beg you to spend my $$$ (it will be more like ¢¢¢ but the dollars look better) on tattoos and Vegas and YOU and then your salary is left for Ike. You give me so much joy, and I am so damn glad you are alive --- so. damn. glad.

RD

Another blogger points out that they were considering the Lindamood Bell program, but balked after seeing a job posting for a teacher.

Said blogger realized that she already had the qualifications to be an LB tutor, and took the online training program so she could evaluate and teach her own son. Saving herself, oh, about 9 thousand dollars.

Marianne

I'm just saying - eff the naysayers, they don't mean a thing. What the hell is wrong with people?

Kelly

I wish we had the extra to help. It's ridiculous that insurance doesn't cover these things. I'm battling now for my two year old and it's looking like private speech it is at about $150/week. It's ridiculous.

My two cents, feel free to ignore, but also maybe look at auditory processing disorder? My two year old is too young to diagnose and we can almost get my older one diagnosed, but it's another avenue to explore and you might get some free help too.

Tiffany

Gawd, Amy. Why should you expect to be PAID for your WORK. You are a monkey, here for my personal amusement.

Fuck the haters. Monetize, so if nothing else, y'all have a cushion if your corporate gigs dry up due the wonderful economics of Emperor Twatface.

Olivia

Also yes to option of a donate button. Other blogs I read have way more affiliate links. Don’t get why people are surprised by life having unexpected financial changes or circumstances. Also eating out less/ saving money on vacation/ saving on a particular brand can all be good things but won’t always solve the problem and even these things did, greatly reduce that joy of living that’s so important.

Lindsey

You know what people should do if they don’t like what you post on your own damn website?

Click the back button and go read something else.

Meanwhile, you should continue to post whatever the fuck you like on your. own. goddamn. website.

The way people behave on the internet drives me INSANE.

The end.

anvil

Sometimes you should just stop talking, Amy. I'm embarrassed for you.

D.

@Sarah Your district is lying to you. Dyslexia can be covered by a 504 plan. While it is not listed specifically under the Americans with Disabilities Act, it is a disability that limits learning and is therefore covered by a 504 plan. The school will HAVE to legally provide services once it is in place. They may not like it, but you’re entitled to such.

Misguidedmommy

WE WANT THE BUTTON.
Anvil needs to fuck right off and find a new blog to read.

Melissa

Amy, please don't ever stop talking.
I am so thankful that you are here, sharing your story, whatever that story is today. Watching you fight for your children all of these years has help me find the fight I've need these last two years and we've faced a newly diagnosed chronic condition in one child and a life time of major anxiety/depression in another. Hearing your stories of struggle and watching you and your children overcome have given me hope in a time of hopelessness. Also, you are freaking hilarious. And the world seriously need more of that right now. Keep it up!

Teresa

I have donated for people's dogs. This is you son. People are gonna judge no matter what. If people want to help then let them :)

x

@anvil, embarrassed for her? You should spend more time being ashamed of your own behavior, then you won't have time to feel things on behalf of others.

Sarah

Bring on the button! I for one will support tattoos, Vegas trips and baby Ike

Jane

Amalah, as others have noted, I’ve read your blog for maybe 15 years (long before kids!) and have derived hours and hours of enjoyment from your labor. And I’ve enjoyed it at no cost. So I’d welcome the opportunity to provide a little money in exchange for all your hard work!

Maryam Ramirez

You’re not asking for charity. You are putting an OPTIONAL button on your page that allows - those that want to - to show their appreciation for all the years of entertainment you have provided by writing this blog. Haters gonna hate, for whatever reason they can find. If it isn’t this, it’ll be something else. Put the button up and let those of us who would like to thank you for your YEARS of free content, have the opportunity to do so.

Michele

Put up the stinkin' button! 99.999999% of your readers want to support your hard work. And NO NEED to justify your spending....I don't care if you spent all of your money on hookers and blow in Vegas....it is none of my business!! No more apologies for asking for help. No more arguing with the shower wall. You are a writer and deserve to be paid for your work. Period. The few negative comments are making me very twitchy and red-faced. Didn't their mother teach them: "if you can't say something nice, then keep your BIG MOUTH SHUT!" ??

Mary

I can't believe what people will say on the internet. I do want to tell you that my nephew has severe dyslexia. They live in a really good school district, and even there he wasn't making progress. His mom pulled him out for sixth grade, they did some home schooling and some specialized therapy for him, and he is now a college freshman majoring in engineering and doing great. Ike will do great too. And put your button back up. I'll donate just to shut the haters up (if only it were possible).

Abbey

I’m sorry. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with people. People have NO idea how expensive these programs are. I’m endlessly awed by your advocacy for your kids, and your generosity in sharing what you’ve learned. I would be grateful to have the opportunity to give back.

Jen

Well, obviously people who say "why don't you just ask for help" don't actually mean, like, actually ASKING FOR HELP - because that would be so greedy of you.
Come on. People are nuts. Forget about them. If you need help, you ask for help. People can choose whether to give it or not. I think it's a really brave thing to do, honestly. Screw the mindset of just stoically letting yourself drown silently.

Julie

I follow a grand total of 3 "mommybloggers". Whittled that list down so much over the years. You have been and always will be right at the top of the list. The other two bloggers I follow are only because waaay back when YOU wrote about them when you used to do blog recommendation lists. I've followed you, and all your various alphamom and mamapop work, since before Noah was born. I've followed your life so much I click to your blog daily by instinct. I cannot imagine my internet without your blog in it. You've stuck around this blog and offered your honest, heartfelt, fun, and funny writing for free for all this time. Ask away! I would happily donate.

Mara

Felt like I should comment on this one. The blogger/blog reader relationship is so weird - I've been reading you for years and years, I've followed your life, your ups and downs, the kids, allll of it. I've used your stories as a way to tentatively walk into this world as an adult, looking at your examples of how having kids and a family could look like. You're part of the voices which have destigmatized my own anxiety disorder to myself. You've provided me with enormous value (and entertainment), I care a lot about you and your family and your well being and yet, the relationship is totally one sided. I am often kind of uncomfortable with being such a lurker to people's lives, while also being invisible to them. One thing that helps me reconcile this is that I back a bunch of bloggers on patreon as it's the one tangible thing I can do that says "I appreciate you and what you do here". I love being in a position where I can give back, and add some tiny practical benefit to the lives of people I peer into from the online. I'm delighted you don't need to ask for help, but also please know that there are plenty of folks who would feel really good about donating, absolutely regardless of whether you 'need' it or not.

Marci Dodds

Isn’t it weird how you can love a group of people like they are family even if you haven’t met them? And, just like family ... you don’t agree with everything they do when the chips are down you do whatever you can to help them!! I may not like cats but I think therapy is the best thing and would love to see a donate button!

Jelourai

YES for button. Ignore the very few haters. You are loved by many.

Dawn

I just found your blog recently and I totally heart you. And your family. And your fur babies. I love that you're feisty, funny, occasionally profane, and a born fighter. I'd gladly hit the "donate" button, and personally, I would prefer that to the near-constant stream of affiliate links that I encounter on so many other blogs. Anybody who doesn't want to donate, doesn't have to donate, it's that simple. People who take time out of their day to say nasty things to you just need a hobby. Like duct taping themselves to things.
Dawn

Brittany H

Put it back up! I want to donate!

Kim too

Put it up. I cannot emphasize how much reading the struggles of/with Noah have helped me, long before I realized my children had issues. By the time we got our diagnoses, I was well past the OMG My Kid is Nonneurotypical stage, and ready to move onto getting thesupports all 3 of us needed. I’d been through before, wit both you and Mir.
That alone is worth me hitting that button as often as I can. Seeing how successful Noah is now is worth another couple of hits, especially on difficult meltdown days. And when I can’t? I won’t.
I’ll say this again, too: I am so utterly grateful that your story did not end on that bathroom floor, that I am get to continue watching Noah and Ezra and now Ike deal with all their lovely quirks and laugh along with you. Put it up. I’d love to contribute to your next tattoo, if that’s what you need.

Leah

I have followed for years, long before I had kids. Then when I had kids, I struggled with not being heard when I knew that my oldest didn't experience the world in the same way as other kids. You were a blog I came back to often because you had been there, been through it, and tackled it with humor and compassion. My son is 7 now, and he gets both private services and services through his school and insurance doesn't consider his sensory processing differences a real thing so they have never covered his private OT even though he experiences gross and fine motor delays that interfere with his ADLs. I would love to be able to click on a donate button and support you in the same way you unknowingly supported me in some of my darker moments.

jm

I'm in love with Poppy! Also, I still say do the Paypal!!

Amelia Bowler

And now I'M going to be arguing with the shower wall at icky internet commenters. Aw Amy, there are people who deeply care, and say they want to help, because they do. There are probably people who say they want to help because it seems like a good thing to say (thoughts and prayers! 😠) There's a weird section of the population who is *offended* at the thought of someone suffering or someone in need, probably because it terrifies them to think it might ever happen to them. There but by the grace of God go all of us... it takes courage to ask and I wish you 100% peace with whatever you choose.

Nora

Button! PayPal! Patreon! I'm in favor of any or all.

Don't let the jerky haters dissuade you. I would love to be able to contribute because you are such a joy in my life. And I care about you and your family a lot (even though we've never met IRL)

Brandi

I’ve had similar arguments in my head when a goodbye freind decided to be judgey about my finances. It’s a terrible feeling. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’m glad you’ve picked up more work, but I’ll still be happy to PayPal some money your way. I’d do it for anyone in your family, critters included! So if need be put the button up. And those jerks who decided to be shitty can go sit in syrup, let the bees get ‘em.

Laura

I too once upon a time worked for Lindamood Bell. If you’re ever interested in hearing my take on it I’m happy to share! But know this-despite being a stranger - I have faith in you and Jason’s decision making process and I know you will do what’s best for Ike based on the information you have at this point. Your love for your boys is obvious.

Clara

I don’t begrudge people coffee, pets and vacations. Put a button, if you want. You are a really good writer and I got some great eyeliner info and kid info from you that’s really helped me over the year and continues to help me.

Megan

I never comment on anything but feel compelled to add my voice to the resounding chorus saying ignore the (extremely few and ill-mannered) judgers and do what you have to do. I too would be very happy to donate in exchange for all you have shared with me over many many years. I am always happy to donate to support artists who share their work with me for free. And how you spend your money is your business and not for anyone to judge. I'm happy to donate for not a baby anymore Ike, or for coffee, or vacations, or tattoos, or home renovations, or avocado toast, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR MONEY ON BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF MY GODDAMN BUSINESS. End rant.

Fad

We have been reading you for years, so the least we can do is lend a helping hand when needed! You do that donate button when needed and don't let those judgey people get you! We love you and the kids and the pets and the tattoos <3

Erin

Everybody else already said it (and better than I would have), so I'll just sit here and wait for that donate button!

Janyll

I can offer some info on Lindamood Bell because my D worked at two LB facilities, full-time for a year at a suburban location while saving up for grad school, then part-time for a half year at an urban location while attending grad school. I'll put everything in the past tense since I can't be sure it all still applies, though I suspect it does.

The training for instructors took two weeks. LB's methodology was very prescribed and rigid, and in the main the instructors didn't have a background in teaching children with reading problems, so they were required to simply deliver the packaged product. The kids attended every day after school for whatever number of weeks had been contracted for based on LB's initial evaluation and recommendation. My D felt the hardest part was working with kids who had already been in a classroom all day and often were inattentive either from fatigue or because they didn't want to spend one more minute at a desk. The level of dedication/diligence among the instructors was quite mixed. My D saw what you might call negligent work among some instructors and equally negligent supervision that let them get away with it. But other instructors were great. The urban location was the more difficult place to work because many of the inner city students (whose tuition was paid by the board of ed) did not have parents who would make sure they arrived on time, or arrived at all, and the kids were generally less interested in the whole process without parents who were heavily invested. For whatever reason, the instructors didn't care that much either, and the whole place just wasn't as well-run as the facility in the wealthy suburban area.

All in all my D enjoyed the work at LB and felt she was really helping many of the kids. She would have stayed longer if she had been able to mesh her schedule with LB's needs.

I guess my best advice to anyone considering LB would be to have your child spend a few hours there with the intended instructor to see if there's good chemistry and if the very specific style of instruction clicks with the kid before contacting for their very expensive course of treatment.

Best of luck.

Bex

You can ask for thoughts and prayers and casseroles and donations and whatever the fuck you want to ask for or need to ask for. Asking is not demanding. Or forcing.

I can't send a casserole. And I don't know how a casserole will help the Ike to read. But I can send you some $$ to help you in whatever way you need.

Tara

Just another voice to say - you are writing FOR FREE and we are reading and laughing and being moved and being entertained FOR FREE. And for many years! If people don’t like it, they can just not donate and hell, if they’re going to be mean about it, stop reading. Put that donate button back up, girl, and leave it up.

Megan

I've read you since before Noah was born. I've laughed out loud. I've cried a few times. Heck, I've even cooked Blue Apron with you.

I don't live in DC and don't know you in real life -- but if I did, I'd take you for a coffee. Providing me with a tip jar is just giving me a way to treat you to that coffee you very much deserve!

Amy Bledsoe

I’ve been reading your blog for years and I’d love to have a way to contribute to the cause. You don’t owe anyone an explanation on how you spend your money.

Don’t let the bastartds bring you down. #momsquad.

The Cartoonist

People: If you need help, just say something.
Also People when someone asks for help: bitch, moan, complain, criticize, berate, shame, slam, judge, bully....

Gosh, can't understand why people don't ask for help. :)

JD

Please sign up for a Patreon, or paypal or anything - I would be happy to help support help for Ike or any damn thing you please. When I had my first baby your blog and advice was there for me, and is still there for me now as she turns 5 next year and her little brother turns 2. Your struggles with anxiety and depression helped me feel like I was not alone. Your openness about your recent hospitalization helped me come forward for additional help. If I can send you money, to pay you for the services you have given me I would be happy to do so.

Joni

People are stupid. Don't listen to them. Kudos to you for doing what you need to do for your family.

Sid

Please do not waste any more of your precious time, energy or mental health on people who would shame you for giving your readers an opportunity to pay you for the hard work that you put into maintaining this blog. Maybe I'm just feeling more sensitive than usual in the current bullshit social climate but I feel like this is a hugely gendered issue too. Women have always been told not to ask to be paid what we're worth. Fuck that.

Kottke posted something two years ago that I found really interesting and well thought-out: https://kottke.org/16/11/kottkeorg-memberships - although his blog isn't as personally-based as yours, much of his rationale would still apply. Take a look at all your monetization options and figure out what would work best for you and your loyal readers. Never hesitate to ask for what you're worth. Your work, your hard-earned money, do whatever the hell you want with it. Personally, I'm voting for more cool tattoos :)

Terry

Thank you *blush*. You are most beautiful, dear you.

The Diamond in the Window

You are terrific, do whatever you can to make things work better for your kid, because the world is on fire and all we can do is try to help the people we love (and those we don't!), and good luck with it all, especially on ignoring the people who are trying to make you feel bad.

Alice

Adding to the pile of FUCK THOSE IDIOTS comments. Like everyone else here, I have been a reader for years, feel super invested in your success and your family's happiness, and have learned SO MUCH from you. After having kids, one of the many fun post-partum fears I'd cycle through was what if they have differences/disabilities of some kind? And no joke, I would always say to myself, "well, I'll just go read Amy's archive so I know what to do and how to advocate for my kids, because I know she had to go to the mat with her kids and thank the spaghetti monster, she wrote it all out for the rest of us."

In other words: we owe you. Whether it's for tattoos or Vegas or Ike, we're all already in your debt.

If people don't want to donate... guess what, geniuses? You have the ability to NOT CLICK THE STUPID BUTTON. Or even not read the blog! No one is forcing you to be here! WHAT A WORLD, where you can CHOOSE NOT TO READ a blog, amirite??

Michelle

I'm embarrassed for the person who's embarrassed. They clearly don't even know what a complete douchecanoe (thanks, Bloggess!) they sound like. Been reading since you discovered Noah had a Q-tip like head (my son did too! we had an MRI it was so big) and I felt a connection to you. I've stuck around because I love your ironic, self deprecating, spot on writing. You're awesome, and in a truly moral society we help out others when they need it. Without judgement. Clicking the button now.

Robyn

Monetize the shit out of this thang! I've been reading and enjoying your work since you were pregnant with Noah (we were preggers at the same time, preggo buddies!). Your blog is often a conversation topic around the dinner table with my husband and three boys. I love your sense of humor and your writing style. My friend Maria and I still chuckle over the hilarious breakdown of that "company cookbook." That post is up there as one of the funniest things I've ever read in my entire life. Keep up the excellent work!

Sid

Coming back to leave this link too: https://medium.com/s/powertrip/confessions-of-an-author-who-isnt-ashamed-to-do-sponcon-717b6bce6132 (via another smart woman making money by being awesome https://readingmytealeaves.com/)

Chiquita

Yay for button! I have been reading you for at least 10 years and you helped me learn to be a mom. Also I live in suburban DC which makes us like, neighbors.

I have blown my donation budget until after *ahem* November 6 but will give to you in December, I promise.

Rebecca

I donated today instead of buying a latte. Fair is fair. Keep that button!

Mary Lehrman

I LOVE this post. Good grief people. I'm super proud of you for asking for help, and I hate it when people pretend there is some written rule to the book of life. I'm gonna go donate some money for baby Ike right now b/c I do want to help get him the help he needs. Even if you did squander all your money on zee tattoos.

Alison

I love everyone who used the word "fuck" in their comments. I like to save it for when it matters. This matters. This community you have built matters, supports you, and can do what they want with their money - just as you can do what you want with yours. Happy to see the button. Happy to help.

Also - because Canadian - fucking eh!

Kailee

Hey, this is your space. Put up a donate button. I’ve been reading you since Noah was a baby, and I think you have a unique voice. Just be realistic in your expectations from your readers. I also have a child with special needs and a husband who fought cancer two years ago. You have a nice life. You spend your money on things I wish I could. I’m not saying you shouldn’t, just that it shouldn’t be surprising when you document holidays/festivals/tattoos and then ask readers for money. Honestly? It is frustrating for a long-time reader. I don’t expect this to change your mind, I’m prepared for the clap backs. Just, you’re not the only one going through some stuff. I look forward to a day when we can go through our stuff also also afford a vacation.

RzDrms

I don’t see the button from my iPhone; where is it?

You owe us zero - zero + zero x zero explanations.

I’m one who pleaded with you to just ask me for help, with the caveat of *no questions asked no follow up needed no extra pressure on you for asking.*

People can snark, sure, but they can also more easily just stop reading and walk away but they don’t so that tells you straightaway that it’s something within *them* that they’d prefer snarking versus looking away from what they don’t like and doesn’t affect them.

Where be are is the button at, ladycakes? Email it to me?

(You do you, boo. I love Ike and the Storches. I love Ike’s hairzzz.)

Stephanie

Man, people suck. You bare your soul to strangers on the internet. For free. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for some help for your son.
I fucking HATE judgmental people. You do not owe ANYONE any explanation about your tattoos, your vacations, your pets, your employment, or anything else. I hate that you had to post specifically to defend any of your choices. (I totally get why you did, though. I would not be able to just not respond, either.)
Anyone who does not want to donate does not have to, FFS.
Gah.
There are so many legit awful things going on right now, it astounds me that anyone is getting all het up about a blogger asking for voluntary donations to help out with HER CHILD.
Get a grip, people.

Kiara

I don't get how an unobtrusive donate button can be so offensive. We all have our own spending habits and budgets and can make decisions that best suit our needs. I feel similarly to many of the above commenters and am happy to donate considering I've enjoyed all of Amy's well-written stories for free. I would buy a friend a drink or appetizer, spend money on a movie ticket or lunch for myself, buy my dog a new squeaky toy, or go get my nails done, and I can trade any one of those activities to donate. While Ike's reading needs are tremendously important, self care is also important. Even the small change some of us can spare will add up (maybe like the cat grandpa story from Wisconsin).

cris

So sorry I missed all the drama, who the fuck dared to question the Internetz will to help Baby Ikea??? But I do disagree with the donate button, I think you should move here, to Europe, where those kind of programs are state-funded, and you and I can go for drinks more easily. That's my only issue.

Sanae

Thank you for being you and sharing you and your family with us for all these years, and free to us to boot. Thank you for adding the button. Donation incoming!

Amie

OMG people fucking suck. Please, please, please ignore the haters ... but I know how hard that can be. I, for one, am so unbelievably happy that you are here and still sharing and that I can finally do something to express my appreciation. So YAY for the donate button! xo

Becky

I'm glad you put up a button. I hate that you had to get defensive and write this post. You should have a button even if you didn't need the money. You could be Scrooge McDuck rich and still deserve to be compensated for the service you provide, your art, your work. Monetize it however you can. No one tells actors that they only get paid for a movie if they didn't go on vacation that year. One tells the tech support hotline, "wait, I'm going to need to see your financial statements to determine if you really need the $150 per hour - and if you remodeled a kitchen, my call is free." Do not be ashamed to be compensated for your art that so many of us enjoy. If extra cash is an incentive for you to keep posting, all the better for us. It's not charity; it's an exchange transaction. Helping Ike is a bonus, on both sides.

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