Weekend Updates
Stupid Babies Need the Most Attention

Vote Out Te Bastardes

Hi hi hi. I'm okay. I know I don't usually go that long without posting but it felt disingenuous to sit here writing about how Ike got an entire container of green Halloween slime stuck in his hair when everything else is going to hell in a reusable grocery bag and WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE MY SLIME-COATED CHILDREN EVEN GOING TO INHERIT, PEOPLE? GET YOUR BUTTS TO THE POLLS. 

I voted, Jason voted, everyone we know has voted. Now there is nothing to do but wait and pray and stress-eat another package of Kraft singles. 

I got the slime out of Ike's hair, incidentally, with blue Dawn dish detergent, after several of the Internet's other suggestions for How To Get Slime Out Of Your Hair did not do the trick. Blue Dawn: The only thing you need to get slime out of hair and lipstick off cats. They should hire me for copywriting. 

We forgot to take any photos of Halloween, so you're spared that parade of awkwardness. Jason and I skipped dressing up, but Ezra and Ike made their own costumes: Ezra went as "Joey Reddabber," an original comic book character he created, and Ike dressed up as Emily from the Amulet  series. Nobody had any clue who they were but they didn't mind. Plus Ike got a cool-ass walking stick at the Renaissance Festival for his costume after Poppy chewed up the one he'd found in the backyard. 

Noah, being ever so Noah, didn't want to wear a costume ("You know I just like staying original") but we told him no, he wasn't allowed to be That Teenager who trick-or-treats without a costume. So, much like so many Halloweens before, the desire for candy won out at the last minute and  he put on some Five Nights at Freddy's pajamas and called it a costume. It was some good problem solving. 


Ezra is teaching Ike (and me) how to play cricket. It's pretty fun and I'm not too terrible at it! I mean, I'm playing against a 10 year old and a 7 year old but still. They probably think I let them win sometimes but the truth is being "not too terrible" at something still means "not very good, at all, not even a little."

Okay. Time to scoot off the Internet for the day and not obsess over the headlines. GO VOTE EVERYBODY PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE VOTE!!!







Good to know you are doing well. I just voted too, all fingers crossed we can really get the blue wave impact that we are looking for!


I’m now in Texas. Just voted, a LOT of people voting. If it was up to Austin by ourselves Beto would totally sweep. But I have PTSD from last election.


I voted last week, and I’m glad too because my kids have a stomach bug today. But also I get to lounge around in my pjs instead of be an adult today so I’m super excited. Happy Election Day!!


Thank you for writing and encouraging everyone to vote. PLEASE GET THE VOTE OUT!!!!!!!!!
Glad Halloween worked at your home, glad you are hanging in.
YES, PTSD about 2 years ago. Stress eating today is good. Also cleaning our drawers compulsively. (I think I have the cleaned-outed-ness drawers ever known to woman-kind. BUT VOTE!!!!!
AND get ready for the new campaign to increase voting again in 2020. That starts today and must continue no matter the results.


Katie H.

"Stress eat another package of Kraft singles" cracked me up way too much! I'm going to get my vote on too. Might not be the way everyone else is going, but I believe in the process!


Psst... It should be Emily from the “Amulet” series. Such a great series - my kids and I are obsessed. We would have immediately recognized Ike’s costume. :)


Is stress eating kraft singles better than left over Halloween candy? I’m going to say it is and give you win there. :)

I voted early. I’m hoping for the best, but trying not to get too optimistic.

Dori P

I voted, limited hope for much change as a smurf in a red state but at least I still have SOME hope. :)


I just voted GOP all the way! Keep that red wave going!


I'm stress-eating shortbread I bought at the craft fair on the weekend up here in Canada, and hoping that my lovely neighbours can pull themselves out of this quagmire. I told myself I couldn't go on Twitter until 8pm to see the results. Please America, give me a reason to want to visit again!


I don't know about a blue wave. The last few weeks I have really started listening to people around me at work because I noticed a lot of my liberal friends and coworkers were being super vocal and then there was another, larger group of people who never said much about politics at all. But if you talk to them one on one or just listen in on conversations, a large majority are voting Republican.
From my conversations with both men and women who have either straight up said voting R or strongly implied it, their reasons go from the economy and stock market being really good right now to saying the left has lost its mind (verbatim quote) and there were at least half a dozen men of color that I work with who said the railroading of Kavanaugh and the guilt until he could prove innocence means they had to walk away from voting D even though that's how they were registered. Because if it could happen to him, it could certainly happen to them, and it would be more likely they would be in jail over it. I've heard more than a few more conversations now especially since the last accuser against K has admitted she straight up lied.....and people are really upset.
So, this would be my take. Sometimes being a quiet introvert has advantages. In my opinion it's the same thing that happened in 2016; people aren't being super vocal but are going to go show their opinion in the voting booth.

Sue W.

Glad you are doing well, Amy.
We voted early last week in Florida. I've not missed an election since I started voting when I turned 18. They still had the lever flipping machines back then. And dirt was still a baby!


I work for the Gillum campaign here in FL but I'm moving to MD in a few weeks so I'm pulling for you all up there as well. I am physically ill from stress. G-d help us all.


@Linda OMG what a bizarre autocorrect! Fixed. Emily is a badass and I approve.

And cool story, Anon.


Voted two weeks ago (thanks, Maryland!) Asked and encouraged every store clerk I encountered today if they had voted yet; four were planning to go after work, one had voted, early, and one had gone this a.m. Bummed about Hogan being re-elected. Need to get off the internets now and chill before bed.


As I thought, my state flipped red.


You know what, I from Texas, but live in New Zealand now where cricket games last 5 days. FIVE DAYS FOR REAL. But to go easy on the children, they only make them play for the whole day on Saturday. FML.

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