Of Dogs and Dance Parties
Snow Day Complaints

Get Her Done

Here's a thing I didn't know about depression recovery: Your to-do list is INSANE.

(I suppose I should avoid using words like INSANE as a hyperbolic adjective as we all attempt to de-stigmatize mental health disorders, but that would mean I'd also have to avoid words like CRAZYPANTS or BONKERSVILLE or ZIPPITY HUMMINGBIRD BRAIN and I just don't think I can do that. I am just a girl, with GAD and a CAPS LOCK key, doing what she can.)

Anyway. I've been busy. There's a lot of catching up to do and holes to fill and bridges to un-burn. You have to figure out how to prove yourself as an un-shit employee and friend, make a lot of appointments and phone calls that should've happened six months ago...or maybe just look at a piece of fuzz on the floor and think to yourself, "I am going to pick up that piece of fuzz on the floor today." 

And then you pick it up. And allow yourself a brief moment of pride over this perfectly mundane and tiny task, because congratulations! You're officially human-ing at a baseline level again. 

IMG_20190214_105545 (1)

Tremble before me, o fearsome floor fuzz!  Begone, both u and the desiccated dog toy husk u came from!

I actually changed my mind after this post and ended up staying on Wellbutrin. It's still the dead of winter, there's a couple unpleasant cyclical triggers on the horizon, let's not be too hasty here. It's a low dose, and other than needing to add a heartburn medicine to my morning pill line-up, the side effects are mild and tolerable. Paired with Buspar, I'm feeling very, very good. Very, very many good days in a row. Work is getting done, the house is getting clean, laughter is getting laughed, normal is getting normed, etc. etc. 

Ezra and Ike went to school today with their Valentines -- the cheap-o drugstore kind with candy and bad licensed-character puns, the kind they explicitly asked for and received -- and juice boxes for the classroom parties. Noah, despite this being his second year of middle school, suddenly realized that there are no classroom parties in middle school, and that kind of sucks. So I made a double batch of his favorite cookies (orange chocolate chip) last night and snuck a few into his lunchbox. And then maybe let him eat one for breakfast, too. 

(I baked Ike his favorite carrot-zucchini muffins and Ezra got a big bowl of mashed sweet potatoes for breakfast. My children's preferences are a bit weird and a lot wonderful.)

Tonight Jason and I will continue our Valentine's tradition of staying the fuck home and cooking ourselves an elaborate multi-course meal after serving the kids an early pizza and sending them to the basement to argue over what movie to watch. I bought some cute new clothes that actually fit so I can eat all the food without feeling pinched and bad about myself. I'm in charge of baking the cheese puffs and brownies

None of this is edge-of-your-seat blog-worthy excitement, I know. But it's real and it's happening and I couldn't be happier -- or more grateful -- about any of it. 

 

 

Comments

Laura B.

Orange chocolate chip cookie recipe please!!!!!!


Oh, and rah rah rah floor lint and all that! I hope you put it on your to-do list and then crossed it off, too.

JulesInSTL

Completely unironic slow-clap. HERE FOR THE MUNDANE UPDATES.

jane

Keep fighting against depression, please keep writing about it and everything else. Staying on medicine as a safety net makes good sense...high wire and trapeze artists use them during practice too for very good reasons. Good wishes!!!! Happy Valentine's!

Elise

Your kids recipe choices makes me think that you would all like these cookies too - they’re delicious! https://www.thirtyhandmadedays.com/frosted-orange-carrot-cookies/
(note that this is not my blog or recipe - I have the recipe in a regular cookbook, and this is the first version that came up when I googled).

Caroline Wright

Oh Amy. Hugs to you from an imperfect stranger who has loved your breathtaking honesty and utterly delectable humor for soooo many years. Was Noah even born when I started reading your blog???

One more thing... I am also urgently in need of the orange chocolate chip cookie recipe.

May this be a perfectly normal and lovely VD for you, for me, for all of us. With cookies.

Sue W.

Floor lint be damned! When you have pet(s) you vacuum, put it away and as you walk back through the room, there goes a fuzz ball you missed. Skittering merrily on its way. All the while singing, neener, neener, neener You missed me!
I love hearing about your non-Earth shattering moments. That you are here to blob about them is itself a miracle and I will never tire of hearing about them.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Pear

I am glad that you are making this kind of progress! The mundane day-to-day is where recovery happens.

Diane

Will be back to check up on you, as you are someone I have grown to care about over the years.

And for the cookie recipe.

Have to.

🍪👍❤️

Brandi

I have fibromyalgia and fatigue is unreal. So I totally feel you on the moment of pride when finally bend down and pick up the carpet fluff. Mine is usually hairballs. Thanks cats!

One thing to have on your radar with the Buspar though! The manufacturers are not making as much of because it’s not very profitable (bc of course) so be aware your pharmacy may have a shortage or have it on back order. Next time you see your doc you may want to ask about this and see if they can tell you what to do to get through the dry spell. This happened to my husband but thankfully our pharmacy got a new shipment in time. Other smaller pharmacies have had to wait a lot longer.

Hugs to you and happy Valentine’s Day! You bring so much joy into my world with your posts, I would send you a card and chocolate if a could! :)

Jess

Also here to be proud of you & beg for the orange chocolate chip recipe!

KC

Yay for normal being normed!!! It is lovely to read about mundane life. (also, your Valentine's Day tradition sounds delicious)

Chris

Super happy to be here for the mundane updates! Way to knock that shit out of the park. <3

Lisa

A very happy and very normal Valentine's Day to you!

Dori P

Happy Valentine's Day! so glad you're doing well and keep the mundane updates coming! Those brownies look amazing.

Melissa

Man. The fuzz thing is REAL. Happy Valentine’s Day, Amy!

Erin

Happy V-day! Also here for the mundane updates. You've reminded me to feel grateful and proud for the mundane things I accomplished today. Yay for normaling!

Susan

I keep meaning to post a comment to thank you for the post about the Bobi robot vacuum. I asked for one for Christmas because we recently restained our hardwoods really dark and I can now see every.single.piece of dirt and fluff and it drives me to Bonkersville. Santa failed to deliver, so I used your affiliate link and asked the Amazon overlords to send me my very own Bobi.

She makes me smile every day, not just because she sweeps up all the schmutz (eventually...) but because she's hilarious. I actually talk to her (we named her, um, Bobi) and laugh when she gets tangled up in things.

So, please keep posting about the mundane things and reminding us to find joy in the smallest efforts (because pushing the "Go" button is a pretty small effort that ultimately makes a big difference).

nicole

wait...so my welbutrin is the cause of my chronic heartburn?! well i’ll be damned

yay for the normaling!

Christine

APPARENTLY 7th grade Valentine's Day is about asking people out. At least, in my 7th grader's classroom, three people asked three other people out on actual dates. Mine was not one of them. When I asked him if it might be, he laughed hysterically, so I think we're good for at least another year there. But still. What is this.

Alana

Here for the ugly, light-hearted, mundane, deep as hell, beautiful and everything in between. Hugs.

Jennifer

Thank you for reminding me I needed to renew my meds! Glad to hear things are on the upside, and that you picked up the fuzz. Now if you could pass that memo onto the other members of my household that picking up fuzz is a regular human thing to do?

Ming

I feel you about the depression to do list. I have good days and bad days. The good days are spent catching up from the bad. But not making progress all together. Oh well. This too shall pass.

Thank you for your tremendous bravery in sharing. You're a wonderful person

Brita Gulseth

This is huge. All of it is huge. I’m cheering you on. Mundane is the hardest part, because it drags on. There are seasons for it. The season of doing fast and intense management and the season for slow and steady management that has bumps and hiccups. I’m cheering you on, lady.

MJ

This all sounds wonderful.

Lauren

I love this post. I am glad you are staying on your meds! MOAR HAPPY NORMAL DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! Love!

Jeanette Lewis

You got this, girlfriend! Wellbutrin didn't work at all for me, but I'm SO glad it's working for you and (thankfully) I found something that worked for me too. I know that re-awakening feeling and it's wonderful. Much love to you and your family.

Jenine

The universe knows that we all need to find a way to get through the little stuff as well as through the crises. Sometimes I demand recognition from my spouse after doing the most piddly shit. And in return I am happy to cheer for him for putting his keys on the hook so he can find them later.
Also here for the cookie lowdown. Thanks for your link, Elise! The orange choc chip recipes I see are pretty straightforward choc chip cookies with some zest and maybe some orange extract in them, is that the deal?

Amy

Just a hip-hip-hooray for the mundane updates. They're honestly the best kind.

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