Trading Spaces
Get Her Done

Of Dogs and Dance Parties

Remember the orthopedic bed Jake needed? The bed y'all so nicely bought for him


He completely destroyed it, the ungrateful jerkwad.

He also destroyed two doorframes and ripped the carpet off the basement stairs. 


(Someone please adopt this wonderful charming amazing creature I beg of you.)

His heartworm treatment dictates that he MUST stay calm and not exert himself in any way (because otherwise the dead worms will break into pieces and you know what you can just Google why if you want), so we have to keep him isolated from all the other wild and crazy animals a lot of the time since they whip each other into a crazy pack frenzy.*

But Jake haaaaaates being crated, so for a little while we let him just lounge around in the basement, and everything was fine. But at some point he lost interest in the plethora of toys and chews and Kongs we leave for him, and started going full destructor mode on stuff like, books! Pillows! Paper! Anything he can pull out of the trash can! THE VERY WALLS AND FLOORS AROUND HIM.

So fine, back into the crate he went, along with designated toys and blankets he's welcome to rip to shreds, but where's the fun in that? 

Funny semi-related story: Last week, we started hearing a very annoying dog barking every night, right around bedtime. I thought maybe our next-door neighbors got a puppy and were crating it in the room closest to our house.. Then I thought no, that barking sounds like it's coming from directly outside, but after opening the window it sounded further away, like somebody's dog barking on their back porch. Take your dog inside, asshole! It's freezing out there! Then I got worried that maybe it was a lost dog running around loose, so I ran outside in my pajamas to look for it. I couldn't hear the barking at all outside, but back in our bedroom it started up again.

Jake. It was Jake. The barking was coming from inside the house, from the basement, all the way up to our bedroom via the heating vents. WOOF WOOF I HATE CRATE I HATE CRATE RUFF RUFF, every night, until he barks himself to sleep. 

Or gets a mouth full of memory foam, apparently.

*I do crate Beau and Poppy for chunks of the day to give Jake a chance for some nice quite couch time upstairs with me. Those two are both quite happy in their crates, though Poppy has also lost the rights to a proper mattress after eating two of them. (Now three, because I gave her Jake's old bed and she has indeed taken dainty nibbles out of every corner.)

Anyway! Here is some top-quality non-dog content for you, in which Ezra attempts to teach Ike how to bowl and bat at cricket, right before the intoxicating rhythm and vocal stylings of Ariana Grande take over their little white boy bodies.


Sue W

They got the rockin pneumonia and the boogie woodie flu!
I am not versed in cricket. Do you pitch (if that's the term) left handed no matter what their dominate hand is?
I got nuthin on the Jake issue. Sry.


You might want to consider trying his crate somewhere other than the basement. Our first rescue HATED the basement. We actually thought we were doing something nice by not crating her, and letting her have the run of the basement with a baby gate. After she escaped over the baby gate two days in a row (suffice to say that this was quite a feat, given gate placement, etc) we decided to try her crate upstairs. Done. No problem after that. Or it make no difference - but it may be worth a try.


I went TJ Maxx yesterday and saw so many cute cat beds. I would’ve bought at least one of them if I didn’t know that they would immediately pee on them. Source: the cat bad from Dollar General I gave them for Christmas. Guys. We love you, and want to give you nice things. Why you gotta make it hard?

Michelle B

I'm going to second the suggestion to crate him upstairs. We crated our dog in the living room and she howled pitifully until we moved her into our bedroom. Problem solved.


Ditto the crate moving. Our puppies cried ALL NIGHT the first week we got them and then we brought the creates into our room and they just went right to sleep. They still eat beds... and plastic and bills and any toy they can find and then they puke it up in the hallway, so I've no ideas there. I ❤️ dogs, big dummy dopes.


So I don’t really want to move Jake’s crate into or room because he and Rey had a play-gone-too-rough interaction last week and she’s TERRIFIED of him. Like, we had to feed her in our room for days because she wouldn’t eat otherwise. (She spends 90% of her time there anyway.) So bringing him — even crated — into her safe space wouldn’t be fair to her. But maybe we could try the hallway closer to where B & P are crated? Bummed about his poor old hips though; I really wanted him on a nice bed!!

@Sue W pitching in cricket is called bowling, and you do use your dominant hand. Ike was using his left hand at first and Ezra corrected him.

Sue W.

Thanks for the clarification, Amy! Much appreciated.


Zah is such a good coach! So sweet.

Katie H.

AAAAAaaaaaand they end, inevitably, with the Floss and a Dab. LOVE IT!!! :)

Amy in StL

So, most of my fosters get towels or old blankets in their crate because the crate pads and beds I have for them are destroyed. I try to provide something soft for them, but the foster before my current one wouldn't even leave towels unshredded, so she got nothing.


Any chance you could add a ultra-heavy-denim slipcover to a Lovely Orthopedic Bed? I'm not sure there's really anything that dogs will resist chewing through, though.


Oh, this whole thing has me sad. Poor Rey! Is she okay now? Poor Jake, too. Yes, could the crate be in a little more visible place (say, a rarely used dining room?) but not in the other pets’ safe spaces? Somewhere where Jake sees humans or maybe out of a window? Ugh; it just hit me...oh, he might be remembering living in the shelter for so long, being alone and in a cage down in the basement. Nauseating. (NOT blaming anyone; just sad.)


One piece of advice I took from dooce was the longish lead (abt 4 ft) wrapped around a leg of yours and the dog on the other side, lead the leash through the handle on your ankle, then clip on the collar. That way you get a tug or awareness of what's going on when shy dog is stressing in it's own special way. You can do your waist with a longer lead if you are going to be walking around.

Liz Carter

I have fostered a few dogs and found some just hated being crated. Who knows if they were confined to crates for too long or if the crate was used as punishment, or if they were just hardwired to hate them. BUT, I did find with two of my fosters that if I lay on the ground outside of their crate with them inside, and then put something of mine (like an undershirt, nothing I was attached to but had worn that day) inside the crate, and I took some quiet time for 30 minutes on the floor next to them with my hand in the crate, the dogs seemed to settle faster. And then I would slip into my bed next to the crate (maybe in one of the kid's rooms?). But I did have them in a room with a human body, and I do think that helped so eventually they could be in the crate in the room of a human without me lying on the ground before. And the choicest of treats to be obtained from inside the crate too throughout the day. All casual like. Wow, another piece of chicken from the back of the crate! What a surprise!


We have a Frenchie who is a compulsive chewer (it's strong in the bully breeds). We finally took her bed away after she destroyed the umpteenth one, and gave her a couple of folded towels to sleep on. I found some "flavored" nylabones that seem to be the most effective thing for keeping her satisfied and occupied on a regular basis.

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