Like a Bird
Pride & Ham

Five Things, Only Two of Which Are About My Pets

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: Jake! Is doing absolutely amazing! And available for adoption! He's officially the calmest and best-behaved animal in my entire house, so you're getting a great deal there. I will miss his super-happy-to-see-you-OMG-butt-wiggles!!! greeting every morning so much. 

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He's such a loving, gentle creature and I am beyond honored to have played a small part in giving him the loving, pampered life he totally deserves. 

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SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS: This door. Which apparently sucks. It's Ezra's.

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This is absolutely SCANDALOUS language for Ezra, so you know he means it.

He's referring to the fact that once upon a time, Ike enjoyed locking doorknobs before leaving rooms, resulting in several hopelessly locked-from-the-inside doors that required the whole-ass removal of the doorknob. Several of these doorknobs were then re-installed by Me, and thus no longer quiiiiiiite right, because obviously. His door can now be opened even when it's locked, if someone (IKE) pushes on it hard enough. 

He just wants a #*@%ing  properly installed doorknob, god#&*@it. 

THIRD ORDER OF BUSINESS: If you haven't taken advantage of the AMALAH30 offer at thredUP yet, they've actually extended the offer so you still can! Go buy something. Treat yo self

FOURTH ORDER OF BUSINESS: Just as I am being totally haunted by the Isles of Sodor and the ghosts of Deodorant Wars, I am now being stalked by PENIS FRUIT STICKERS. 

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FIFTH ORDER OF BUSINESS: Please look at this photo my cat, who I think is very pretty. 

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That is all! Have a nice weekend.

 

 

Comments

Billie Kazmer

Please keep Jake. He’s going to be broken hearted.

Kevin Ashton

Cats always manage to find the one sunny spot in the house ! :)

KC

Never too many pet stories!

Megan

I keep meaning to try ThreadUp. I’ve — ahem — outgrown my summer wardrobe and need to get something that I can actually sit down in without worrying I’m going to split a seam 😅

RzDrms

Remember the push button (switch?) in the closet that went to...nowhere? Maybe? What in the world ever came of all that?

CB

Don't keep Jake. The animals need more foster families, and foster families who adopt the animal they are fostering often end up not fostering more animals. And then more animals are put down because shelters can't hold them all, and need to prioritize their limited funds. Keep fostering!!

Amy

The penis fruit sticker story has got to be one of THE funniest stories. I died laughing when I first read it, as a childless 20-something. I find it even more hilarious now, as a 30-something boy-mom. Jason's response kills me - to this day. That and your "he's a thrashy 31 pounds" (proof in point - I didn't even have to re-read it to quote it) (but then I went back a re-read it anyway). (STILL SO FUNNY)

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