The Youths of Today
And the Emmy Goes To

The ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Saga

Whenever my blog posting frequency starts to dip, I notice a slight uptick in semi-concerned texts and emails. AMY R U OKAY R U OKAY AMY? Perfectly understandable, given the wild brain ride I've dragged everyone along on over the past...year? Two years?

(I dunno, check the archives and see if you can pinpoint the exact second this blog became less "ha ha ha, let's all laugh at an exaggerated yet breezy re-telling of some dumb thing I did" and more "wow I am truly a dumb scrap of worthless jittery garbage but like...ha a aaa? ha HaAAAa? is ThIs How u d0 teh HumoR?")

But I am okay! Very, very more than okay! The best I've felt in a very long time! 

My keyboard, on the other hand...

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Truly the REAL dumb scrap of worthless key-shedding garbage.

The comma key fell off about...two months ago, and I kept stubbornly attaching it over and over again, only to have it pop loose again a few sentences later.  So then I'd re-attach it again, but HARDER. 

(And since I route my text messages through Google Hangouts, this meant SEVERAL of those "hey just checking in hope all is well" texts got the baffling and probably not reassuring response of ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.)

I  was like, "ehhhh, I can run-on sentence around that shit for awhile" and stubbornly went on with my Professional Writing life, while attempting to use as few commas as possible.

And here's where I point out that this is a basic-ass Surface Pro keyboard, which easily snaps and unsnaps from the screen and is sold separately for less than 100 bucks. Jason asked me (after his fourth or fifth text message of ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,motherfu,,,,,,,ckin,,,,gfuck,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,) why in the world didn't I just order a new keyboard already, and I didn't have an answer. I enjoy being bothered by things? There was a principle somewhere, somehow? One of these times the key will stay put, I just know it, this next time will be the one, I watched a YouTube video and everything? 

Finally, last week, after one or two (or three dozen) too-forceful attempts to snap it back into place, the damn thing just snapped in two.

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FINE. YOU WIN THIS ROUND, PUNCTUATION. 

I ordered a new keyboard. It's a weird teal color instead of black because it was $25 cheaper, but took twice as long to ship because reasons, and the keys are already all smeared and greasy-looking because I have bizarrely oily hands.

(Seriously, I never need a wine charm at parties because my glass is always the one -- and the ONLY one -- covered in smudgy fingerprints. Meeting me is like shaking hands with a teenager's t-zone. Sexy!) 

Anyway, that's why I haven't been posting more than once or twice a week, but it's all fixed now. I'm sure you were all on the edge of your seats there. 

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My desk coaster, and perhaps the inspiration behind my desire to Hulk-smash my comma key into submission?

Comments

Brooks

But why is your pencil bent??? (now that you fixed the keyboard and all)

Linda

I have to report (admit?) that I have the teal colored Surface Pro keyboard, which I bought on purpose when I got the computer. It's "distinctive". Nice to know I can replace it, if my comma key starts rebelling.

Angie Rogers-Howell

Glad you got your comma key situated! I don't have oily hands, but I use lotion a lot and then forget to wait until it's fully soaked in when using it. Therefore, every keyboard I've ever owned has all the letters rubbed off. But I keep on using it because damn it, I know what the keys are even if they aren't marked!

On a separate note, I must know how you've routed your texts through Google Hangouts. Will this work on iPhones? I used to have a mac forever ago and I loved apple messenger but have yet to find a work around in windows.

neena

I had a laptop once that kept losing the "P" key. I was able to snap it back for a little while and then push the little rubber nub where the key used to be for some time before even that didn't work anymore. I was still paying off student loans and oh-so-broke then...so I would Copy and Paste "p"s from text and use them when I needed them. I hadn't thought about that dumpster fire of a laptop in ages and really needed the laugh today!

Katie H.

I NEED that coaster!!! I type so hard there are actual INDENTATIONS in the keys of my keyboards. I'M A VERY ANGSTY TYPER!!!!!! :)

Angie Rogers-Howell

FYI - The Husband just bought me a new and improved "quiet" wireless keyboard. We share an office and my aggressive typing was driving him bananas! Spoiler Alert: My typing is still loud on this new fangled keyboard but slightly less screw-driver-in-the-ear inducing than my other one so The Husband will just have to deal with it.

Sue W.

I am still using the keyboard from a circa 1990s desktop. Most all of the letters have rubbed off because I have nails. And. It's almost 30 years old. Hubby hates it because he uses the hunt and peck typing method. I LOVE my keyboard. All of the new ones feel "funny" to me. I try them for a couple of days, toss them and go back to my old trued and true keyboard. Guess I should get some White Out or something and paint the letters back in for hubby!

Fraulein N

I was horrified for a split second because I thought they shipped you a pre-greased keyboard. :-0

Amy Ab

FWIW, I had a key pop off (the q-not terribly essential but used somewhat) and I replaced it with an ‘oh shit’ key. It still typed the q, but made things more fun.

Heather Laura Clarke

My keyboard has blank E, I, O, A, S, D, L, C, N, and M keys. (D and H are mostly gone, too.) I find it kind of interesting to see which ones go from excessive typing (finger oil?) so I haven't replaced it yet.

Ariel

Something similar happened to me, only it was my right-arrow key. I don't really need a right arrow key the way you need a comma, but apparently I do use it a lot, because its absence is definitely noticeable.

Cate

Get a silicone “skin” for the keyboard. You can wash it periodically (punctuation joke). I have one for my knockoff MacBook keyboard. Also catches crumbs.

Marcy

I so very rarely comment but this was one of the most amusing things I’ve read lately and I’m so so so glad that you’re feeling great!!!

Judy

Sign of life: Comma not coma! Yes, I made myself laugh with that. Oh, and - your post about the nifty thing to capture all the pantry moths improved my life beyond measure. I don’t hate them as much as stink bugs, but I do hate them a lot, so thank you!

Tiffany Pinnock

My keyboard didn’t break, but i can already feel the non ergonomic induced trauma 30 years from now (i have RSI symptoms from a car crash i had) so i bit the bullet and bought a kinesis advantage 2. Things like this is why i will always be poor 😬

Amanda

You know what really needs commas? Deodorant Wars!!!!
( and apparently exclamation points 🧐😋)

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