Many, many years ago, we went to West Elm for pillow shams and also left with a lamp for our dining room. (A wee Ezra was helpful enough to document the shopping trip at the time.) All lighting was 10% off, and then there was an extra 40% store-wide sale going on, and so we got this $399 chandelier (in discontinued grey), comprised of hundreds of (INDIVIDUALLY! WRAPPED! IN TISSUE PAPER! AND TAPE!) seashell bits and bobs for...definitely less than that.
This lamp was the only non-furniture thing in our old house that I insisted on bringing with us when we moved. This lamp was non-negotiable. This lamp was a Hill That I And Any Subsequent Real Estate Deal Would Die On, even against the most strenuous advice of our agent.
(The same agent who made alarmingly critical noises about the MAIL SLOT on our front door, and so I rushed out to buy SPECIAL POLISH for the mail slot. AND THEN, when the special mail slot polish failed to deliver the desired pop of curb appeal, I replaced the entire mail slot because YES, THIS NEW MAIL SLOT WILL SURELY SELL THIS HOUSE!!1 !OMG!!1CRYTIME!)
(This lamp was very important to me at the time, is my point.)
I stuck LAMP DOES NOT CONVEY Post-It notes on it before the open house and showings began, and it came up as a discussion point during some back and forth between our buyers. Were we sure we wanted to take it? Because they really liked it, and if we didn't feel like dealing with taking it down...
No. I was leaving behind much nicer appliances and a grill and a BRAND NEW MAIL SLOT; that goddamn lamp was goddamn coming with me.
And then...here's the thing.
Mah Preshus Lamp has a rectangular ceiling mount, like so:
Yellow House had...this.
That's a big-ass McMansion-y injection molded foam ceiling medallion, both glued to AND screwed into the ceiling with anchors. The removal of which would clearly be A Whole Thing.
I never even noticed it until after we moved in, probably while clutching Mah Precious Lamp wrapped in one of my children's hospital receiving blankets, definitely while remembering what a complete and utter pain in the ass it was to take the lamp down at our old house and replace with whatever generic brass-n-glass fixture had been there originally.
The fancy lamp was quietly set aside in a basement closet. We spoke of it fondly from time to time.
But after finally getting off our asses to paint the dining room, Jason decided it was also high time to attack the Ceiling Mount o' Doom.
And that time was at EXACTLY 8:14 a.m. this past Saturday.
The noise and mess was tremendous, but in the end Jason claimed victory, and my fears of half of the actual ceiling coming down as well were unfounded.
Ah yes, this one-of-a-kind home boasts many "thoughtful" "architectural" "details."
And now I have Mah Preshus Lamp! (And curtains!) (And for now, for today, for the next 10 minutes after taking this photo, I have a completely uncluttered dining room table.) It's just as warm and happy-making as I remember, and the kids enjoy playing with it like a wind chime. And it only took us four years!
(Also we're not moving ever again but I'm still gonna specify in my will that LAMP DOES NOT CONVEY.)