Once again, we threw a huge party and did not take a single photo of the actual party. Perhaps this is all a strange, yearly hoax where we only pretend to throw a huge party and like, know people and have friends. Or perhaps Friendsgiving only happens in our sick, twisted minds and we really spend the day drinking and conversing with ghosts!
Here are the things I DID take photos of, in no particular order:
Ezra created a scavenger hunt for the kids, complete with a big box of prizes. I had to ask about the "Stupid Hello Kitty" -- was there a smart Hello Kitty out there as well, like as a trick? -- and he explained that it was a Happy Meal "girl" toy that Ike got by mistake.
"It's not stupid because it's a girl toy, though," Ezra clarified. "It's stupid because she's supposed to be a superhero but when you press on her head and it just kind of raises the arms a tiny bit and it's just..." He trailed off, visibly disgusted at the lack of product design that went into this particular Happy Meal offering.
(The "Launch Pokeball" was the Happy Meal "boy" toy Ike was SUPPOSED to get, and the source of much angst and drama that day.)
(Also, I found Stupid Hello Kitty and can confirm, it is pretty stupid.)
Ike created this display on a table in the foyer. (That's a drawing of a turkey that is "very hot.") This is very cute, but becomes a lot less cute when you realize that toy has a microphone and records whatever you say, then screams it back at you in a truly terrifying, high-pitched banshee shriek.
This was later moved to a shelf to make room for the desserts and accidentally switched off in the process.
Mass turkey carnage! Jason made three turkeys -- one in our deep fryer, one in our smoker, and one (not pictured because it was still cooking at the time) using our sous vide. They were all really, REALLY fantastic. (As was Jason's White Castle Stuffing, which is exactly what it sounds like. That Post-It note was all that remained of it barely 20 minutes after we served it. Vote Double Batch 2020!)
I made the gravy, because making a roux is one of only two things that my husband literally cannot ever get right in the kitchen. (The other is rice. He always, always fucks up the rice. We don't understand it, but now there's an unspoken understanding that Amy Makes The Rice. One time I Made The Rice but asked him to reduce the heat and cover it for me once it started boiling, and as God is my witness that rice came out both burned AND underdone. He's rice-cursed!) I also made cranberry sauce and a lot of drinks.
Speaking of Post-Its, I labeled our various coolers before the party and mentioned to a few people that it was taking EVERY OUNCE of self-control to not add "ABOLISH" to the ice cooler label (DO U GEDDIT LOL), because I knew we were in mixed political company and yet I am truly, truly insufferable at this point in our nation's history.
I later found that one of those guests did it for me. All I had to do was completely totally innocently leave out a pen. TEAMWORK!
Here is poor Tormund, who just NOPED his way out of the proceedings. He was given many treats later and only barfed up a few of them on my pillow later.