I had to go to Target yesterday to pick up a prescription, but first I had to wait out a fucking tornado warning.
It's official: Do not go outside! Outside is bad! Outside is code for out to get you!
The kids gathered up the cats and their stuffed animals and hid in the basement, later declaring themselves incapable of doing any chores or online learning because they were too stressed out over the tornado, which did not actually materialize in our area.
(I know many other parts of the country were not so fortunate yesterday, but forgive my children's naive, sheltered privilege; they don't read the news, don't want to hear about the news, and keep stubbornly insisting that "the coronavirus is going away on April 24th." They should probably be on a presidential task force by now.)
Anyway, I left for Target after the tornado warning expired, but forgot about the severe thunderstorm warning that was definitely still in effect.
(The saddest part of this photo is that box of rosé wine does not actually contain any rosé wine. Or wine of any kind! It is empty, like my sense of purpose and meaning and whatever the fuck day it is.)
I've had to go the pharmacy twice this past week, and I did not like it. I did not like it at all! Our Target is now an uncanny valley version of itself, where things seem mostly normal and yet totally not normal at all. The bread aisle was full but the toilet paper aisle remained completely empty. I could get all the enchilada sauce and mini marshmallows I wanted but no chicken or pasta. A little over half of us wore masks and/or gloves, but not the guy who made steely eye contact at me while defiantly piling six cartons of milk into his cart directly in front of the TWO PER CUSTOMER sign. The pharmacists seemed really stressed and somber while the worker tasked with sanitizing the self-checkout line equipment and keypads remained at SNL Target Lady-level high spirits and have-a-great-day-ness.
An Instacart order we placed a week ago finally arrived, including one miraculous six-pack of store-brand toilet paper. Our shopper texted us from the line outside the store, since they've imposed limits on the number of people allowed inside at a time. I realized Jason had left the default tip amount selected originally and furiously scolded him. MAX TIP THAT HERO, IT'S REALLY WEIRD OUT THERE.
Stress baking recommendations of the week: Pumpkin sheet cake with cinnamon cream cheese icing (I halved the icing recipe because I only had one package of cream cheese; it was perfect), sourdough crackers (with Trader Joe's Everything But the Bagel seasoning), and Ruby Tandoh's brown butter madelienes.