Fifteen
September 30, 2020
Jason randomly came across this video the other night, and after a good laugh at his six-year-old self, Noah asked us what in the world we were thinking, letting a six-year-old watch Wrath of Khan. It's so not age appropriate, Mom and Dad! Jesus Christ.
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I asked him if he'd let me record an updated Wrath of Khan According to a 15 Year Old (Who Has the Entire Movie Memorized and Regularly Regales His Family With Dramatic Reenactments) version, but his only response was a withering look of Pure Teen Pity that I would even suggest something so unbelievably lame.
Nobody blogs anymore, he reminds me on a fairly regular basis.
I know, I know, I tell him. I don't even really blog anymore.
You had a good run, he says.
He doesn't mind if I blog about him -- he puts this blog in the same category as my minivan, or my affinity for Jeopardy! reruns and Taylor Swift. Just another Uncool Mom Thing That Moms Do. Moms! You gotta love 'em!
So he's not the reason I haven't been writing. Nor is there any sort of family drama or offline intrigue or work kerfluffles or anything like that. (Although Ike got an absolutely, objectively terrible haircut -- like, he asked for a trim to just-above-shoulder-length and ended up with a blunt-cut lopsided bob? -- and he has requested No Photos until it grows out. That poor child and his hairz drama!!) I am healthy and safe and taking care of my mental health the best I can.
No, it's just: This year. The virus, the lockdowns, the death toll, the election. George, Ahmaud, Breonna, the collective national outrage colliding against collective national batshittery. The whole *gestures broadly at everything and everything is on fire both figuratively AND literally and oh God, not another CNN breaking news alert I cannot take it, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED NOW * cycle has beaten me. I no longer find myself even remotely amusing.
We're all just hanging on by the same thread as everybody else, trying to find hope and meaning and a purpose beyond making sure everybody get to their Google Meets on time.
But today is Noah's 15th birthday. That's worth celebrating. That's worth writing about.
(His present this year was permission to start a YouTube channel. He will not be taking any of my content suggestions.)
Happy Noahversary ♡♡♡
Posted by: Supertiff | September 30, 2020 at 03:40 PM
15!!! Jesus, I can't believe that. Happy birthday, Noah!
Posted by: Jenny Lawrence | September 30, 2020 at 03:43 PM
Thanks for the update. Not gonna lie, this last week or so, I've been obsessively checking in here to see if you've posted anything new. Yes, we are all keeping each other company on that same thread by which we are hanging. Hanging on until Nov. 3, then Jan. 20. Last night's debacle of a debate was just to get us used to the shitshow that will be all the days between Election Day and Inauguration Day. Noah sure does sound like a typical 15-yr-old, and that is good. Truly.
Posted by: Karla Brizzi | September 30, 2020 at 03:45 PM
Happy Birthday!!!!
Posted by: Laura | September 30, 2020 at 03:45 PM
He is FIFTEEN? He was JUST BORN last week or something.
Happy Birthday, Noah!
Posted by: Kristy | September 30, 2020 at 03:46 PM
Please share a link to his YouTube channel and we can support him!
Posted by: Natalie Funaro | September 30, 2020 at 03:55 PM
Christ on a bike! 15?! Happy birthday in a lame Mum you don't even know saying happy birthday to a complete stranger on a so last century blog which, as you are fifteen, makes us Victorian level oldness and, naturally, Everest level lameness. Hope your channel gets all the thumbs up your heart desires.
Posted by: Jill | September 30, 2020 at 03:56 PM
I can't believe I've been lurking on your blog for 15 years! I feel obligated to de-lurk long enough to say Happy birthday, Noah! And thanks, Amy, for all your sanity-saving and morale-boosting posts over the past 15 years, they've been really important to me.
Posted by: Hillary C | September 30, 2020 at 03:59 PM
I'm glad you posted - I was getting worried! We all understand the shit show that is ALL THIS (gestures wildly). I'm glad to hear that you are all taking care of yourselves and are hanging in there. I vividly remember discovering your blog when I was pregnant and needing things to keep me busy/laughing/not freaking out on my two months of bed rest. My daughter will be 15 on Saturday! Happy birthday Noah. Maybe there's hope with their generation someday!
Posted by: Katie H. | September 30, 2020 at 04:05 PM
Happy Birthday Noah, from one of the old heads that have been following your mom since before you were born. ❤️
Posted by: Lori | September 30, 2020 at 04:22 PM
Happy birthday to that handsome guy, I can’t believe he is 15. Been reading since he was born so you better not stop, I definitely find you amusing and it’s a breath of fresh air when you post. So don’t stop despite all the awful. Don’t stop ESPECIALLY because of all the awful. We need you now more than ever! No pressure.
Posted by: Joyce | September 30, 2020 at 04:29 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOAH!!! And thank you Amy for this update, was waiting for it! I get Noah’s take on blogging but he needs to understand there are dinosaurs like me who read his mum’s blog, please tell him I said so! I know he is fond of dinosaurs so I’m sure he’ll understand ;-)
Posted by: Katie K. | September 30, 2020 at 04:50 PM
I needed this today- to hear from an old friend Happy Birthday to Noah!!
Posted by: SB | September 30, 2020 at 04:59 PM
Happy 15th, Noah, my favorite blogger’s child on the interwebs! Also, I am all about the Ike Hairz Dramaz and am totally indignant right along with him HARRUMP!
Posted by: RzDrms | September 30, 2020 at 05:19 PM
Happy birthday Noah!
Posted by: Mary Winters | September 30, 2020 at 05:29 PM
Happy Birthday Noah!
Posted by: Kena | September 30, 2020 at 05:47 PM
All the loves. I'm happy you're well. And Happy Birthday, Noah!!
Posted by: Jennefer Parr | September 30, 2020 at 05:59 PM
OMG this makes me SOOOOO happy! I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how things are...giving how 2020 is.
Happy, happy birthday to NOAH and many virtual, weird internet stranger hugs to you Amy. :-)
Posted by: Lorrian A Ippoliti | September 30, 2020 at 06:26 PM
Happy to see you here, and happy birthday to Noah.
Posted by: Christine | September 30, 2020 at 07:25 PM
I’ve been lurking everyday too! I’m so glad you’re hanging in there. I also cannot believe Noah is 15! What a guy.
Posted by: alana | September 30, 2020 at 08:10 PM
glad you are all well - It's been a tough year for all, even those north of the border. At least our politics aren't quite as bad, not quite. I would not even have recognized that man-child beside you.
Posted by: Pat | September 30, 2020 at 08:23 PM
Mary, Joseph, and a camel--FIFTEEN?!!!
Happy birthday Noah!
Posted by: Amy | September 30, 2020 at 09:32 PM
This is the best relatable post ever about the Now.
I got a new phone, blah blah, kids were asking why I didn’t bother to back up pictures (March iCloud sync). ‘BC there just hasn’t been much to take pictures of kiddo’. Which devolved into cameras were a separate appliance in the not too distance past and then further explanation about exponential computer RAM....and I got (again) the fuck, I’m old and I’m sorry parentals, I get it now. Also fuck this pandemic. And keep strong we think about you. And how the fuck is he 15 already???
Posted by: Renee | October 01, 2020 at 12:31 AM
I remember that 6 year old! Wasn't that just a day or two ago? HOW is he 15 already?! Pretty soon it will be time for his Learners Permit so he can have something else to judge you about. Your driving instructions!!
Happy Birthday, Noah!
It's good to hear from you and know that you are going thru the same batshit as the rest of us, but that you are doing well. Well, as well as can be expected, anyway.
Posted by: Sue W. | October 01, 2020 at 05:58 AM
Wow! I have been reading this blog a long time!
Thanks for checking in. I am glad that you are as okayish as you can be.
Posted by: Mary | October 01, 2020 at 08:30 AM
I'm just so happy to see an update, and to see beautiful you and beautiful Noah. We are all doing what we can to keep our heads above water, and I assumed you were the same, but boy I love your beautiful words and family and self. Thanks for the note, and happy sweet birthday, Noah!
Posted by: Elizabeth_K | October 01, 2020 at 09:19 AM
Fifteen ... YEARS?
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Fraulein N | October 01, 2020 at 10:15 AM
Happy birthday, Noah! And how does it feel to be the mom of a going-on-man?:)
Posted by: Lisa | October 01, 2020 at 11:06 AM
Yeah. It's weird to be a normal regular human in this time. I mean I'm surprised that every American's hair hasn't turned white already.
Posted by: Jenine | October 01, 2020 at 11:22 AM
Happy Happy Birthday!
We may be old, but we're still cool. Right? RIGHT??!
All my best wishes to your family <3
Posted by: Laura Button | October 01, 2020 at 11:43 AM
Happy birthday to Noah!
I started reading when Noah was a tiny baby- somehow I think I found you when trying to find more blogs like the Gallery of Regrettable Food on Lilek’s and I never left. Any time I see a family with 3 boys I think of you (your 5 years ago doppelgängers were at my local Costco recently) and I always hope you are having a good day.
May we someday enter a better world, where Tire Watch and Deodorant Wars can be fun again!
Posted by: Anna | October 01, 2020 at 12:08 PM
So happy to see your post and happy birthday to Noah!
Posted by: brigid | October 01, 2020 at 01:24 PM
15 - it can't be!!! Wow, Happy Birthday, Noah!
I'm feeling you on everything else. Man, what a year (love your mask!)
Posted by: Stephanie Berry | October 01, 2020 at 01:59 PM
Yay! So glad to see you post! I check it everyday and had about decided you'd given it up. I too have lurked since your days of TTC Noah and my boy is the same age so you've been part of my mom tribe since the beginning (is that so weird??)
Anyway, HBD Noah! Hope you are the next viral YouTube sensation!
Posted by: Melissa | October 01, 2020 at 03:31 PM
I can’t believe how grown up Noah looks! Omg! I hope he had a great birthday. I’m glad to hear you’re all hanging in ok. This year sucks. May next year bring better things.
Posted by: Brandi | October 01, 2020 at 05:47 PM
Happy birthday, Noah!
Posted by: MJ | October 01, 2020 at 06:06 PM
Oh my! How can he be 15?! I've been lurking for 12 years - since you were pregnant with Ezra and I was pregnant with my first of three girls. You're still my favorite blogger on the internet, even if our kids think we are soooo uncool. Thank you for letting us into your lives.
Posted by: Katie | October 01, 2020 at 09:03 PM
Happy Birthday to Noah! I've been reading since... well, before there was a Noah and I still come back to see how you are doing and looking forward to an update. From one fellow lame mom to another, thanks for taking the time to check-in. While 2020 is a marathon of awfulness, you are a glimmer of sunshine through the clouds.
Posted by: Lisa | October 01, 2020 at 09:34 PM
Happy Birthday, Noah! So glad to see an update. :)
Posted by: Dori P | October 02, 2020 at 11:18 AM
Happy Birthday to Noah! I've been reading this blog since he was a wee baby. My own 14 year old is turning the big 15 in a couple of weeks. Yikes!
Posted by: Amy J. | October 02, 2020 at 03:35 PM
Interesting ad on your page, wtf??
Posted by: Sharon Bradshaw | October 02, 2020 at 08:28 PM
I’m also delurking to say Happy Birthday to Noah, and since I’ve also been reading since before Noah was born, I’d feel a big hole if you stopped blogging!
Posted by: Megan | October 03, 2020 at 02:15 AM
I am a relatively new reader, but have read all your old stuff on my downtime at work. So I feel like I know you so much. I appreciate that you still blog and are still willing to put yourself out here. I know it is not without criticism. I know I have been in a 4 year funk since the 2016 election and this past month there's been a depression fog lifted...like maybe a little hope. I know enough to treasure that little hope and not let it out with its friends because of what happened last time, but today I am going to let myself feel hopeful and happy. Thank you for your blog and your willingness to share all your struggles!
Posted by: Jen | October 03, 2020 at 12:01 PM
Happy Birthday Noah! (super belated, but it still counts!)
I miss your updates and writing in general, and I am SUPER glad you are in an ok place and surviving this swirling vortex of badness year!
Posted by: Connie Bowers | October 04, 2020 at 11:12 PM
15!!! Amazing. I get you, we all really are hanging on by the same thread, but I'm so glad you posted about Noah's birthday. It's these little bright spots that I hang onto that thread for! I can't believe he is 15. I think you and I are about the same age and I remember when Noah was born... I didn't have kids until 6 months ago, an adorable baby boy. Seeing Noah as a teen really hits me in the feels! I know now that it will happen to me just as quickly. Happy Birthday, Noah, sorry about all of us uncool Moms!
Posted by: Erin | October 06, 2020 at 08:41 AM
Thanks so much for the updates! Was starting to get worried about you. Hang in there!!
Posted by: Lauren B | October 06, 2020 at 11:37 AM
I'm late checking in but you were just what I needed today and so glad to hear from you. Had assumed your paid, full-time employment thing was keeping you super pressed for time. Hope you are able to write again more. Next 6 weeks look grim and you always help.
Congratulations on your children...... And huge thank yous for mental health assistance!
Posted by: rose | October 06, 2020 at 02:24 PM
15??? no way!!
Posted by: Lisa Rose Keegan | October 06, 2020 at 03:36 PM
I miss your writing like crazy. So glad to see an update and Happy Birthday to Noah!
Posted by: Dawn | October 07, 2020 at 03:24 PM