Amalah All Along
Deodorant Wars: A Very Special "Am I Okay? I Might Not Be Okay?" Late Stage Pandemic Edition

This Is Me Updating My Website On the Internet Dot Com

Back in early May, Ike scolded about not updating my website enough. I told him I didn't really have anything interesting to post about, so he ordered me to take a photo of him right there and then. 

"There. Now you have something interesting for your website."


That was over a month ago, and yet I still didn't update my website as ordered. And then Ike's birthday (oh hi he's TEN now, all the Amalah babies are DOUBLE DIGITS now, don't you feel your bones disintegrating into ANCIENT DUST now) came and went and I still didn't update my website.

I didn't want the site to officially devolve into something that only got updated on/around their birthdays, so...well. I guess I sure showed me! The site has officially devolved into a shining testament to both procrastination and my own very weird logic. 

Anyway, hello! It's a random Monday in June! LET'S BLOG THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Tomorrow is everyone's last day of the Weirdest School Year Ever. Noah will spend it waving at people on his Chromebook screen. Ezra will attend in-person and distribute handmade letters and art projects to his favorite teachers, which are technically all of them, and here's where I'm going to shamelessly brag a little but IT'S MY SELF-INDULGENT WEBSITE THAT I NEVER UPDATE, GET UR OWN: Ezra got not just straight As, but straight A-pluses, and will be moving into additional Gifted & Talented classes next year, and is just kind of all-around killing it/hashtag goals. 

Ike will also attend his last day in-person, and after a rough start, a positively brutal middle, he is ending the year on a high note, and that high note contains a P.S. that says VIRTUAL LEARNING CAN BITE MY BUTT HASHTAG NEVER AGAIN.


Okay, there's already entirely too much CAPS LOCK going on here, even for me. Let me see if I can get through some other updates in a calmer, more rational manner.

Jason, Noah, Ezra and I are vaccinated! Ike is very much ready for his turn, even though he witnessed the dreaded side effect of "making parents be rude to their children" first hand! (His exact words. I'm sorry! The second shot made me very tired and grumpy.)

Last week, I realized there was a cicada on my leg in the middle of the wine store! I shrieked and flipped out and flicked it off and I think it landed somewhere behind the boxed rose! Peak Hot Vax Summer right there, amirite?

I did not get fired from the job I started this time last year! In fact, I got a promotion! I have yet to meet a single coworker in person! I'm sure those two points are completely unrelated!

Jason had spinal surgery! It was scary but very much the right call and probably should have happened sooner! If you or a loved one suffer from excruciating back pain from bulging/herniated discs I highly recommend just getting the damn discectomy done, as it will change all of y'all's lives! But also! If you or a loved one know you have bulging/herniated discs without the excruciating pain part, I do NOT recommend you try at-home Unsupervised Pandemic Basement Crossfit! Take it from me and all these exclamation points!!!!!!

Okay, I just swapped one stylistic tic for a different one. Am I just really rusty at this or am I revealing a desperate, unmet need for EMPHASIS!!! that only blogging could fill?

Moving on. Since it's been a minute, here's what I look like now:


Are those UGG boots in the background? Yes, those are UGG boots in the background, like the same actual circa 2004/2005 UGG boots that I believe I once agonized about buying here on this very site, because those were simpler yet judgier times. How the mighty(ish) influencers have fallen!

Or maybe that's one of the rare, freeing upsides of this whole shitass...everything: It's 2021, UGGs are comfy, and no one gives a fuck about your shoes or your website. 



So glad to see a new post! We love you and miss you, always!


I love UGGS AND your website! And exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!×infinity


Good to see you guys are doing well! Can’t believe how old your boys are.

Shannon Newton

Love to get an update!


I give a shit about your website (not a bit about the Ugg’s) but I get it.

Thanks for the update!

Judy P.

I am willing to bet that not just I, but many Many MANY people give a fuck about your website.

Lorrian  Ippoliti

Ahmazing update. Always happy to find out how things are in the Amalahverse.



Yay! Always love to hear updates on you and the family.

Springsteen Fan

So happy to hear from you, even if it's just once a year or so! And your hair looks amazeballs!!!!
And so happy for the kidz and Jason's back and YOU, you dang rockstar!!! Mazel Tov!!!


I was wondering how you were all getting on and it's lovely to hear that you're all thriving x


Wait. Baby Ike is TEN???????

Joanna Moore

Yay! I will read anything you write on here, forever. <3

Judi Cutrone

Missed you!!! Still here for all of it. Thanks for every word of this, glad you all are doing okay.


I own two pairs and will happily wear one of each to eat pizza.



Rachel R.

So glad to read a new post! Also, who cares about fashion… comfort wins every time.

Laura B.

@Judy P. I am another one of those Many!

New Amalah posts is the only news content I want to see rn.

ccr in MA

So glad to see you pop up in the feed reader! I enjoy your takes on anything and everything. And you can tell Ike that you were waiting for Pride month to put up his most interesting picture.


You look great! Expecting my first and have been re-reading some of those ten-year-old archives about ten-year-old baby Ike, trying to figure out if I dare to try cloth diapering. So glad to see you’re still writing!


My RSS feed is a ghost town, but I keep coming back hoping for something from you. I have been rewarded, and now will keep pressing the lever u til you return!

I really missed you & your kids, thanks for checking in. ❤️

Sue W.

Glad everyone is doing well. You've been missed.
Don't be a stranger!


The only reason I don't harass you is because we are friends on The Facebook and your husband tags you in pictures on occasion. Doesn't mean I don't still care. The rainbow water balloons are everything.

PS - I recently blogged. Twice. And then the damn thing lapsed into silence again.


On the last day of school here a friend texted "Mom you did it! You were given a whole lot of bad choices this year and you got your family and your kids through the 2020-2021 school year. You nailed it! Take a minute to congratulate yourself!!!!🌞🌟🌈⛱" I cried. I hereby pass the message on to every other parent here. However disastrous this year was, you got them through it one way or another. Congratulations.


This is me commenting because you're here which is good and so am I which is not bad;).


Yay!!!! SO happy to see your face again. Update whenever you can--we will keep coming back JUST IN CASE!!!!!! (enjoy my profligate solidarity caps + !!!)


Unsupervised basement Crossfit oh dear. And hooray! for blog updates! They do not need to be Meaningful or Balanced or At The Right Time, it is okay if they just are.


So nice to see an update!

Not putting off surgery is A++++ throughly endorsed advice. My aunt just got a hip replacement and the (highly experienced and recommended) surgeon said she was the worst he ever saw. She’s been putting it off for years but finally was able to make it happen.

As a long time reader I hope I’m not overstepping when say that I hope you, Jason, and the boys have a wonderful summer, and that someday you can go see a Broadway show again safely. You deserve to treat yourself!


omg no shit tho - i've been reading through the archives due to work boredom and i just passed the search for the uggs. then i accidentally hit the homepage and it's like oh wow ike, i remember that guy. anyway idk brah, it's your website, no rules for how often you have to update. i also maybe had some wine before typing this.


I give a shit about your website, and I'm so glad you are emphatically typing at us again. Celebrate back-pain free husbands and genius children with cicadas in the wine store -- peak 2021 indeed. Thanks for checking in!


Love seeing an update - thanks for checking in with us. I'm happy Jason is on the mend!


So happy to read this <3 Always love your posts.


Happy for the update!


listen to Ike, the people want updates!!! ! !

glad to see a new post here; glad that everyone is doing well.


You look amazing, like the pandemic stress had a topsy turvy bizzaro world opposite effect on you. Please
to reveal all of your secrets at soonest.


Thanks for posting! You happened to update on my birthday which is a nice treat because I check for new updates at a frequency that is borderline creepy. Glad you're still hanging in there.




Thank you for checking in :) I have been spending a lot of time with your archives lately. My 4 year old got kicked out of her preschool and we are waiting for our appointment with the county to see if we qualify for an evaluation. It is comforting to go back an read the struggles you had with Noah in preschool and know what an amazing young man he is becoming.

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