This Is Your Brain on Friendsgiving

9 a.m.: I wonder how long I can stay in bed and pretend this isn't happening. 9:15: GET UP GET UP GET UP 10:00: Time To Fuss Over Flower Arrangements! 10:30: It's probably too early to put out chips and stuff, right? 10:35: (Realizes Jason bought Cheetos) 10:40 - noon: (Stress-eats Cheetos) 12:01 p.m.: Rearrange All The Flower Arrangements! 12:30: Ike has announced his intention to take a rolling Friendsgiving attendance/headcount on Post-It Notes. It's good to have a purpose. 1:00: OMG no one is coming 1:45: OMG everyone is coming 1:47: Ike has re-made the Friendsgiving banner. 2:00 - who even can remember: HI HI HI HI HI HI I LIKE EVERYBODY HERE SO MUCH 2:05: Where is my wine glass? 2:30: Oh, there it is. 2:35: We aren't going to have enough food. 3:00: Holy shit there is so much food. 3:02: WTF lost my wine glass again. 3:15: One turkey down, two more to go. 3:45: I should not have filled up on Cheetos. 4:00: Ike has redecorated the bar area. 4:15: Guess I'll just get a new wine glass? Is that allowed? 4:16: Oh right. This is my house. 4:30: Deep-fried turkey is the best turkey,... Read more →


Amy vs. Bookcase

Me, all year: Oh yeah. we host a big Friendsgiving thing the Saturday before Thanksgiving. It's really fun. You should come next time! Me, the week of Friendsgiving: GAH GAH GAAAAAAH WHY DO WE DO THIS GAH GAH AHHAGS GAHAHAGA JPFNZCMZXC,M.CZXLDFJD We're up to three turkeys this year. One roasted, one deep-fried and now, one smoked. Jason is making the stuffing, I'm doing boozy cranberry sauce and gougeres. Ezra is handling the sweet potatoes and the other two are whining about all the Doritos and Capri Suns that I've told them they aren't allowed to have yet. I need to figure out the logistics of two pies and a cheesecake sitting in our freezer and of course, clean all the things and declutter all the surfaces. Last week my therapist (BOOM) (THAT HAPPENED) asked me if there was anything in particular stressing me out about the party and I said, "the stupid fucking bookcase in the living room." So, back up. We impulse-bought an Ikea bookcase instead of a proper TV stand/entertainment unit right after we moved in and almost immediately regretted it. It was too big and didn't really go with anything else in the room. But we never... Read more →